Chapter Five: Pidge wants her god damn gadgets
Pidge finishes off her plate of leftover eggplant rollatini from last weekend at Hunk and Lance's, or as she likes to call it; The day Hunk fucking stole her emo.
He just came right on in all smiles and food and Keith is now all about the damn guy. They exchanged numbers last weekend, too, and she knows for a fact Hunk is blowing up Keith's phone.
This is not what she had in mind. It was supposed to be her enjoying the benefits of all of her people together. Not them going off and being friends without her.
This is some serious bullshit right here.
Admittedly it's not the worst thing in the world. She can hang out with them all together now and, seriously, she's been Keith's only friend for how long now?
It's getting a little sad.
Besides, push comes to shove she still has Lance. Sure he's annoying but she still loves the little bastard. (Except he's not actually little, he's a fucking tall ass beanstalk but that's besides the point). She even loves when they hang out just the two of them, he reminds her a lot of Matt sometimes and it's fun to have an outgoing guy to just dork around with.
Speak (or think) of the devil, Lance sends her a text. Followed by about ten more. All caps and exclamation points.
Lance:
(16:30) PIDGE! WHERE ARE YOU!?
(16:30) SJDKLSGJDFHKLJGLKSDJKSGJSDKLJ! PIDGE! OH MY GOD!
(16:31) HUNK! HUNK DID THE THING!
Pidge:
(16:31) Dude, you need to breathe. Wtf is going on?
Lance:
(16:31) HUNK!
(16:31) ASKED!
(16:31) HER!
(16:31) OUT!
(16:31) RLDSKJFVKLGLGSDFGLJFSDKLGJGJKLGJ
Pidge:
(16:32) JESUS TAPDANCING CHRIST FUCKING FINALLY!
Lance:
(16:32) RIGHT!? FUCKING HELL YES!
(16:32) KEITH IS AMAZING!
(16:32)HE PERFORMED A MIRACLE!
Pige:
(16:33) Ohh? Keith is amazing, huh?
(16:33) You wanna tell him or should I?
Lance:
(16:33) WHAT? WAIT! NO!
(16:33) I MEANT HE HAD ONE GOOD IDEA!
(16:33) HE'S A STUPID ASSHOLE
(16:33) PIDGE WHERE ARE YOU? KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT!
Pidge:
(16:34) He's home~! I'll be sure to tell him you said hi~~!
"Hey, Pidge…" Keith raises a brow, "What's the shit eating grin for?
"Sooooo many things!" Pidge cackles, "I'm texting Lance right now. He's just making my day." She looks to him and watches as Keith pretends not to care, while also shuffling a little closer.
"What...um...what did he say?" Keith asks and Pidge puts her phone away before he can see it. (She might tease Lance, but she's no snitch).
"Hunk asked Shay out." She explains, watching Keith go wide-eyed.
"No way," He begins, jumping over the back of the couch to sit next to her, "No Way."
"Yup. We both owe them $100 for their stupid ghost shit."
Keith smiles one of his rare smiles that even Pidge has to admit lights up the god damn room and for a second she's tempted to get a picture and send it to Lance. (She decides it'll be better to have him see it in person for the first time.) "This is amazing. I'm so happy for him."
"Well, it's not like we gave him much of a choice." Pidge jokes and the smile drops.
"Oh...um...do you think...we...forced him to do something he didn't want to...?" Keith asks, guilt taking over his features and Pidge laughs. "Is he gonna hate us…?"
"I'm almost jealous how much you care about his feelings." She teases and Keith rolls his eyes.
"You have to have them for me to care about them."
"Ouch, my heart." Pidge deadpans. "Anyways, hunk wont be mad. Hes got no real reason to be if it goes well, which it will. On a different yet related note, I've got the $200, so you can pay me your $100 back with your next paycheck."
"Wait, really?"
"Yeah, Lance is pretty impatient when he's getting something, so I've been making sure to have $200 around for when Hunk finally grew a pair and did it."
"I'm genuinely impressed." Keith says and Pidge rolls her eyes.
"Don't be, it's the least impressive thing I've done all week." She groans.
"Well, yeah sure the techy stuff is impressive, too, but you're always doing that. I never see you saving money for someone else."
"I'm full of surprises, Keith. Even after all these years. It's what keeps the relationship interesting."
"Well that and apparently ghost hunting, now." Keith teases, "When are we doing that again, by the way? I mean he said once a month and last time was November tenth. It's the twenty-third now, close to a month later. Isn't it time to discuss going somewhere?"
"I wouldn't personally hold my breath for December. With christmas coming, Lance and Hunk are both probably gonna want to use their money to see their families. Really it's all up to Lance, and to a lesser extent, Hunk." Pidge points out, and she could swear she sees disappointment on his face. Hah! She knew he enjoyed it. "Buuuut, if you wanna make sure, he's coming over soon."
Keith looks excited, "Hunk is?"
"No, Lance."
His excitement drops to pure despair, "He's coming here? Why?"
"The money, of course."
Keith raises a brow, clearly unconvinced, but decides to drop it. "Whatever, a customer dropped motor oil all over me at the bike shop so I'm gonna go shower."
"I thought you smelled better than usual." Pidge teases as he disappears into the bathroom, his hand popping back out to flip her off before he closes the door.
Having a minute to herself she looks back at her phone and, sure enough, Lance is on his way over.
Ten minutes later the front door slams open.
"Every word out of that little monster's mouth is a lie!" Lance yells, slamming the door shut behind him.
"Yeah, no shit!" Keith hollars back from the shower, "But that doesn't explain why some idiot just barged into our apartment!"
Lance looks to the bathroom door confused for a second, his face growing impressively red before he turns towards the living room and a smirking Pidge. "You..." He begins, taking long steps before he's suddenly all up in Pidge's personal space and whispering, "You didn't say anything?"
Pidge rolls her eyes. "No, Lance, not that there's much to say anyways. You called him amazing for hooking them up. Big deal. What are you, five?"
"Shut up."
"Oof," Pidge brings a hand to her chest, "You wound me with your harsh words."
"Whatever." Lance huffs before plopping down next to her on the couch, "So what are you guys doing today?"
"Well we both just got done work so...nothing. Maybe Mario Kart." She smirks at him, "You wanna staayyyy?"
"I did come all the way down here."
"For the money, right?" She teases before whispering so only Lance can hear, "Not your middle school crush on my roommate."
"It's not-! I'm not-! I Don't-!" Lance groans before crossing his arms and sinking into the couch, "Stupid little gremlin."
"Oof, again with these shots you keep firing, bro. Calm down." Pidge laughs at the look of pure indignation on his face before Keith comes in with a towel wrapped around his hair. "Sporting only the finest styles, I see."
"Of course. Fashion is life." Keith deadpans before sitting on her other side.
"Oh, that reminds me," Pidge looks over to Lance, "Keith here wanted to know when we were going ghost hunting again."
"No I didn't!" Keith blushes a little before his eyes travel over Pidge to look at Lance, "But when are we?"
"Oohhh?" Lance stares at Keith with a shit eating grin, "Excited to go hunting ghosts again?"
"No. I just like to know about plans ahead of time."
Pidge and Lance grin at him, mirror expressions of unconvinced. "Suuuuure buddy."
"I'm not sure when, but we will totally have a Christmas special." Lance says and Keith rolls his eyes.
"Yeah, for that one person mildly interested."
"It's two hundred, actually." Pidge points out, "They like the skeptic part, and think you guys are attractive and have good chemistry." She shrugs, "Pretty sure they just wanna see you flirting some more."
"Wha-? It was one episode. We barely did anything. How do we have followers already?" Keith asks, flabbergasted.
"I posted other videos." Pidge admits, "Some videos of Hunk explaining different types of ghosts and one of Lance rambling about the haunted house next door to their apartment. It's all stupid shit but they ate it up." She side eyes keith, "Maybe you should check out our page."
"Maybe. Anyways, where are you taking us for this next trip?" He asks, unaware Pidge is starting to film them with her phone. She's not exactly sure how they don't know because she's being pretty fucking obvious but apparently they are too distracted by each other's faces to notices the phone pointing at them.
This is what happens when dorks have middle school crushes.
Still, depending on what they say, this could be a great preview to post for the next video.
"I'm glad you asked, Keith." Lance shoots him a cocky smile, "We're going down southto Kansas. Checking out the demon house where Sallie resides."
Keith's face drops, "...A demon...named Sallie? Sallie the demon?"
"Yu-p!" Lance nods, clearly proud of his choice. Which, to be fair, someone in the room has to be but not even Pidge can muster up excitement for a demon named Sallie located in Kansas of all places. Jesus, even Dorothy didn't wanna stay in Kansas.
"What are we gonna do? Play jump rope or something?" Keith scoffs, making Pidge snort because damn she loves her asshole emo.
Lance glares. Apparently he didn't appreciate it as much.
"Don't take a demon lightly, Keith! It almost made a husband murder his wife. It won't take as much convincing for me to murder you!"
"Whoa," The raven haired man raises his hands in mock surrender, "We have our differences, but murder, Lance? Really?"
"Whatever. It's gonna be great and you're gonna love it and Pidge is gonna love the new gadgets we'll have by then."
"Fucking better, boy." She warns before turning her phone off. "Anyways, good job, guys. I think that will make a pretty good preview video."
Both boys go blanche. A far more noticeable thing on Lance than on Keith's pale ass.
"Wait, what?" Lance looks at her, helplessly confused, "What?"
"Pidge, my hair is still wrapped in a towel!" Her resident emo cries out and she just shrugs.
"This is what happens when you are too into each other to notice the friend with a phone."
"This is bullshit. That's not what happened, you always have your phone so it just doesn't register anymore." Keith grumbles before lowering the towel to finish drying his hair, "Apparently I can't keep this on with you around."
Pidge watches as Lance subtly stares at Keith, his eyes following the towel when he chucks it before going back to the man and his eyes go wide as something clicks for him.
"What the-?" Lance narrows his eyes at Keith, "Is that...do you have a mullet?" He gawks, his voice going up about ten octaves for the question.
"...Do I?" Keith asks, looking to Pidge who just shrugs.
"You're 80's chic, I guess."
A/N:This is filler and I'm so sorry for that. It took me forever just to give you FILLER but I got distracted with my Galra!Keith and Altean!LAnce arranged marriage AU...you know...as one does. Anyways, next one won't be filler.
...Probably.
Also not that anyone cares or probably reads this part anyways but I made that eggplant dish last weekend and it was fucking BOMB AF which I already knew bc I, too, love that dish that is only served at one Italian restaurant in my town.