Are you Joking? Chapter 6, a voltron: legendary defender fanfic

Are you joking?

Chapter Six: Lance is personally wronged by Keith's hair decisions

Lance is getting a little hysterical. Rightly so, if you ask him.

"WHY DOES HE HAVE A MULLET?" He turns to a very amused Pidge, "I'm revoking your best friend card for this guy, Pidge, friends don't let friends get mullets!"

Pidge just shrugs, "Eh, we've kinda stayed out of each other's hair choices. It's why Keith let me go full Mulan on my hair when I was twelve."

Lance is about ready to combust. "WHAT?"

Keith shrugs as well, like this isn't all absolutely appalling. "Yeah, she used to have long fluffy hair until one summer when she was really hot and my scissors were next to us because we were building a cardboard spaceship. She just sort of...loped it off. I might have egged her on."

Well, ok, that's sort of cute. The spaceship. Not letting his friend mutilate her hair.

A kindness obviously returned, jesus christ.

"After that I really enjoyed the hair so I just have a barber keep it this length. Also, technically now that I think about it, it wasn't full mulan," Pidge points out, "It was with scissors. I would like to see how my hair would come out if it was cut by a sword, though."

What?

"I don't have a sword but I recently sharpened one of my knives, it could probably cut your hair easily." Keith offers and Lance is losing his goddamn mind.

"Who decided it was safe to let you two live on your own!?" He shrieks, again. They are both pretty unfazed by it, but honestly, his throat is starting to hurt.

"My parents."

"My brother."

Lance looks to Keith confused, "Your brother?"

"Yes." Keith answers in a way that doesn't allow for further questions. That's fine, honestly, he's more focused on the mullet that is ruining the guy's perfect looks.

Doesn't he even care?

"Ugh, this is just painful. I'm going home. I'll message you guys with the date we're going so, you know, be prepared." He eyes Keith, "And maybe get a haircut in the meantime."

The raven haired man raises a brow, a smirk on his face, "Not a chance."

"Oh, by the way, save up $100 for staying at the house overnight." Lance adds, watching their jaws drop.

"WHAT!?" They shriek and Lance backs up towards the door.

"W-well...you know...it costs money...to stay the night. $100 a person. We have to bring our own stuff to sleep in and food to eat. I'll cover the food and gas to get down there." He offers and Pidge looks at him curiously.

"How are you even affording this?"

"Are you independently wealthy?" Keith asks, "Because if you are…"

"Trust me, I'm not. We just make decent money and are good at penny pinching. You two are, too, aren't you?"

Pidge and Keith share a look that says they really aren't. "Sometimes." They mutter awkwardly and Lance rolls his eyes.

"Well, you will need $100 for the night stay and it's an 18 hour drive so get ready for big fun." Lance grins, receiving unamused looks from them both.

Pidge goes over to a spot, opening a book and hitting a sequence of...buttons? The book pages crack open and she pulls out $200 before handing it to him, "Get the equipment, set up the date, and we will be there." She looks to Keith, "We'll probably need to take a week off of work."

The mullet man shrugs, "That's fine, I guess."

"Cool," Lance looks down at the money in his hands as excitement begins to well in his chest, "Cool."

"Ok, get out." Pidge says, pointing to the door, "Keith and I have a budget to discuss."

Lance frowns, "If you guys can't afford it-"

"It's fine." Keith interrupts, side-eyeing Pidge, "She just has to limit her late night impulse purchases."

"You, too, fucker." She huffs before smiling at Lance, "Seriously, though, it's fine."

"If you insist…" He frowns, heading out of the apartment. It's going to be expensive, he knows, and it's his dream not theirs, but he really wants them to go.

Arriving at home he sees Hunk cooking dinner, shooting him a warm smile that makes him feel a little better.

"So where did you run off to in such a hurry?" Hunk asks and Lance blushes.

"To see...Pidge." He holds out the money, "Her and Keith paid up." It's Hunk's turn to blush now and he stares at the food he's cooking awkwardly.

"I-I can't believe you guys tried to bribe me with that."

"I can't believe Keith came up with it." Lance scoffs and Hunk smiles at him fondly.

"I don't think I've seen you pull your crush's pigtails in years."

"I don't have a crush on Keith." He leans in towards Hunk and whispers in disgust, "Did you know he has a mullet?"

Hunk raises a brow, "Is that what it is? I saw him with his hair down a little while ago, I think it's cute on him."

Lance sputters for a moment, face bright red, "J-just because he doesn't look terrible in a mullet, doesn't mean it's ok!"

"...Doesn't it, though?" Hunk counters and Lance is absolutely done with today and Keith's hair choices and just everything.

"I'm going online and getting some paranormal stuff."

"There's a bundle sale right now," The taller teen calls as Lance stomps towards the living room, "On that site you like, better snatch it up!"

"Fucking sweet!" Lance exclaims and grabs up his laptop from the couch, "At least something good is happening today."

He orders the supplies and schedules a time for them to visit the Sallie House, shooting Pidge a text with the date; December 16th. They will leave on the 14th, that friday, and come home sunday. That way they all only miss one, maybe two, days of work. Friday and Monday. Once he has it all set and finishes texting with Pidge he looks at the confirmation email, a large grin on his face when Hunk returns to the room with homemade pizza.

"We're going to a real place, a real place. We're going to spend the night in a haunted house and we're gonna really do this." He grins up at Hunk, "A real place."

His friend smiles back and hands him a slice, "Technically that factory was a real place, too."

"Yeah, but that place was just...it was nothing." Lance looks down at the booking receipt, "I want to show Keith a real haunted house. A real ghost."

Hunk lets out a quiet chuckle as he sits beside Lance, "What about Pidge?"

"W-well...obviously her, too." He huffs, ignoring the heat rising to his face.

"Ok...so follow up question."

"Yup."

"Are we getting hotels Friday and Sunday? It's an 18 hour drive and I don't think it's fair to anyone if we go a full 18 without rest...:" Hunk points out and Lance shrugs.

"We will if we need to. We can find a cheap room I'm sure."

"This is gonna be fun." His friend gives him a truly pleased smile and Lance's grin practically splits his face.

"This is gonna be awesome."

"For the record...when people want to woo someone, they usually use flowers and kind words," Hunk smirks, "Not taunting and haunted houses."

"First of all, I'm not trying to 'woo' Keith, I'm just trying to show him he's wrong and stupid. Secondly, if the person I want to woo isn't totally seduced by going to haunted houses then they are not worth my time."

"Luckily for you Keith enjoys it."

Lance chucks a pillow at Hunk's face as he laughs, "You're not funny! This isn't about stupid boys with mullets, this is about demons! Which are way better!"

"I don't know," Hunk teases, "That boy with a mullet is pretty cute."

Lance scoffs, "Yeah, if you're blind and have no taste."

"You shouldn't say such harsh things about yourself." Hunk elbows him playfully, "If we have to share beds, I'll make sure you can share one with him, because I am the best bro."

"No, nope, no way. You are officially the worst bro."

A/N: I am SO sorry this took so long. I got super busy with work and then I got two little kittens; both long haired, one tiger colored boy named Laith and a cream colored boy named Hunk. Anyways, I was told they were old enough (they weren't, only 6 weeks old) and I Was told they were potty trained (also a no) and then POOR HUNK WAS SICK so I've been pretty busy. Also my Pom Pidge got fixed, so I've been playing nurse to all the babies.

I even forgot my birthday on Tuesday lol.

Anyways, I'm super sorry about that. Definitely not gonna be a regular thing. (On a side note, how for those who watch Buzzfeed Unsolved which I'm assuming are all of you, how great is the mothman episode?)

I am SO sorry this took so long. I got super busy with work and then I got two little kittens; both long haired, one tiger colored boy named Laith and a cream colored boy named Hunk. Anyways, I was told they were old enough (they weren't, only 6 weeks old) and I Was told they were potty trained (also a no) and then POOR HUNK WAS SICK so I've been pretty busy. Also my Pom Pidge got fixed, so I've been playing nurse to all the babies.

I even forgot my birthday on Tuesday lol.