ch.16: Keith is Done™

Keith and Lance stare at each other in silent horror for a while. He honestly didn't mean it the way it sounded. People use it as an insultall the time. Really, he was sure it was a good one, with all of Lance's skin care routines he figured it was funny.

Boy was he wrong.

He felt pretty proud right after he had said it, honestly. Until he saw the horror come to Lance's face when it had fully sank in.

"So you think I'm pretty?" Lance finally asks and Keith shuts down for a minute.

Sure, Lance is attractive, but honestly he doesn't really think of him as pretty.

Handsome, yes.

Cute? From time to time.

Hot?

….He pleads the fifth.

Never pretty, though.

….

Well, maybe his eyes. Those are kind of the clearest blue he's ever seen and when they light up with excitement one might call them pretty.

His smile can be pretty, too. The way the corner of his mouth tilts up some when he knows what he's talking about and the pride he exudes when someone praises him or he tells the stories for their series, even when he was being an idiot about the Amelia Earhart story his smile was pretty.

Beautiful, really.

Keith blinks as what he just thought tries to sink in.

No.

Nope.

Moving on.

"It's alright," Lance offers with a smirk. A very not pretty smirk. Downright hideous, really. "I'm a pretty guy, after all. Friends can find friends pretty."

Keith twitches, "I don't-" He begins before noticing how guarded Lance's expression really is right now, "...Plan on feeding your ego any more by calling you pretty."

"Too late!" Lance practically beams at him, "You already did."

"Ughhh," Keith groans, turning away and lowering his head to bury his face in Pidge's shoulder, "End my misery."

"Nah, dude, this is gold." Pidge laughs.

"You are the worst." He hisses before turning his attention to Shiro on her other side for help.

For some reason Shiro looks pretty stiff, his eyes a thousand miles away. Like he's seen one of those ghosts Lance is so obsessed with.

"Awww, don't worry, Keith," Matt speaks up from across the table, "Lance is a pretty guy."

"Awww, thank you for noticing!" Lance grins at Matt from beside Hunk, "You are a man of exquisite taste."

"Ah, yes, as is Keith, I see." Matt adds and Keith chucks a fry at him, his face barely peeking out of Pidge's shoulder.

"This is such bullshit. I have the perfect older brother. How did I end up with an extra pair of shitty siblings I'm not even related to?" Keith grumbles, earning a mocking pat on the back from Pidge.

"Just lucky, I guess."

He waits a few seconds for Matt's rebuttal, and when he doesn't hear one looks over from his now admittedly comfortable perch on Pidge's shoulder to see the man looking at him...emotionally. "Wha…?"

"Oh my god," Matt breathes, his eyes getting teary, "You called me your brother!"

"A shitty one." Keith points out, "A very shitty one."

Matt wipes his tears and looks at him starry eyed, "It's the first time you've called me family!"

"Oof, Matt's getting emotional." Pidge grimaces, a look Keith is no doubt mirroring, "You know if you're Keith's brother you can't be fucking Shiro, right? This ain't no Game of Thrones. Ya gotta choose."

Matt gasps and looks to Shiro, who seems to have come out of his daze enough to raise a brow at him curiously, "I'm sorry, Shiro, but we must end this."

Shiro laughs a little, "Yeah? Gonna drop twelve years of friendship and ten years of dating just to be Keith's brother? Trust me, it's not all it's cracked up to be." He teases and Matt shrugs.

"Can't miss this chance, I've always wanted an emo baby brother."

"Hmmm, well, I guess you've also always wanted to sleep in his old bed, since, you know, we're siblings now."

Matt gasps, "But you slept with Keith all the time! You can't play favorites like that!"

Shiro rolls his eyes, "If anyone is my favorite, its Pidge."

"Hah!" Pidge exclaims, "I knew I was the favorite!"

Keith just smiles to himself, looking back at Lance who seems just as relieved as him for the change in conversation. The two share a small smile before Lance bats his eyes and blows him a kiss with an exaggerated wink, making them both burst out laughing.

"At least if you two aren't together we have two less dorks making googly eyes at each other." Pidge groans, effectively ending Keith's muffled laughter against her shoulder.

"Excuse you, we haven't been that bad inyears." Matt huffs, crossing his arms.

"That's true, they are their own special brand of disgusting." Pidge admits.

"Stronzina." Keith hisses, sitting up to get a good glare at her before looking to Matt, "Shouldn't we be leaving now?"

"Whatever you want, baby bro." The older Holt grins, pulling the keys out and holding them up, "You wanna drive? Or make googly eyes some more in the backseat?"

"He wants to drive." Shiro says quickly, reaching over the table to grab the keys and toss them to Keith, "Now everyone we are going for as few bathroom breaks as possible, so try to go now."

"Yes dad." Pidge groans as they all get out of the booth.

"You all go first," Matt says, grabbing Keith's shoulder, "We'll clean up and go last. I doubt there's enough stalls for all of us guys anyways."

Keith raises a brow but just nods as the others go. He helps Matt move the table he and Lance brought over earlier, before they grab the trays and toss out the garbage. By the time they finish everyone is out, Shiro taking the keys back from Keith so the rest of them can go wait in the car.

"Ah, wait right there, Keith." Matt calls when Keith heads for the bathroom himself.

"For...?" Keith prompts and Matt laughs a little, wrapping an arm around his shoulders.

"Look, I've been wanting to talk to you mano-a-mano-"

"You know that's hand-to-hand, right?" Keith narrows his eyes, "Your Italian ass knows that's hand-to-hand."

Matt shrugs with a sheepish grin, "Maybe. Anyways, I've been wanting to talk since you guys were down for Christmas but we literally never get the chance."

Keith eyes him suspiciously, "So...you decided the lobby of a Dairy Queen was the way to go?" He looks out to the van, "With everyone waiting in Shiro's- Is something wrong with Shiro!? Is there a reason he's been acting so damn weird this trip!?"

"Well, I mean, yeah, and I guess that's kinda what I wanna talk to you about, but, um, not the Shiro part…"

"Matt, seriously, everyone is waiting and I actually have to pee, so if we could just-"

"Okay, so, I'm not going to say anything too much, because it's your life and you should go at your own pace, but I think we all know where…" He gestures to the van, "This is heading."

"...Yeah, Arizona." Keith deadpans.

"No, you smartass, I'm not talking about the van, I'm talking about the pretty Cuban boy in the van." Matt points out and Keith frowns.

"Nothing's heading anywhere, I'm not interested in-"

"Not interested my ass. You are so obviously attracted to him."

"Sure, he's attractive. You know who else is attractive? The barista at my favorite coffee shop, the mechanic who works on my car, that one new guy at the public library…but I'm not interested in any of them."

"I saw you two in the back seat, you know. You were sound asleep yet still clawing at him and clinging to him like he was some sort of security blanket."

Keith frowns because, well, he really has no excuse for that. He's not a cuddler, nor has he slept with Lance enough to reasonably seek it out.

It's just...Pidge and Hunk, and apparently the universe, keep shoving Lance at him. For sleep. It doesn't help that Lance is soft and warm and not at all an abrasive cuddler.

Also, he smells good.

If Lance were to share a space with him smelling like sweat and draping himself over Keith obnoxiously, you can bet he'd be running for the hills, but he doesn't, so Keith enjoys his presence.

When asleep.

"Look, my point is that you should go at your own pace," Matt looks him in the eyes, "But don't ignore this. I don't see Shiro encouraging it, because he's in hardcore mom mode, but luckily for you, I'm here to tell you. So, if you have any issues or concerns or just in the middle of the night need someone to talk to about this who knows what it's like to suffer through a crush on their friend, give me a call or shoot me a text."

Keith eyes him wearily, "How do I know you won't report all of it to Shiro?" He asks before going bright red, "Not that there's anything to report or that I, you know, have that problem. Because I don't. He's attractive and fun to hang out with but, like, so is Hunk. The only difference is one has a thing for a girl and the other…"

Matt pats him on the back, "Like I said, take your time. Have fun and when you need some advice or anything, hit me up. And don't worry, I won't tell Shiro," He shoots Keith a lopsided grin, "Because you're my favorite."

Keith laughs a little, "Yeah, okay. If I have any gay panic with Lance I'll let you know."

"That's all I ask."

The group is back on the road soon enough and thanks to Shiro's insistence, Keith is driving. Leaving Matt and Lance in the back together.

With Bluetooth connected to the van.

Which...is a very bad idea.

Keith groans as the fifth Cher song in a row plays, and he hates himself for singing along under his breath with Shiro as the rest of the car belts the whole thing like it's a screaming contest.

At least they can't hear him.

He is not a fan of Cher, for the record. His mom is...er...was, though. Cher sort of leaves him with a warm but empty feeling these days and he's honestly not sure how much more he can take.

"Guys, I'm begging you," Keith begins from his spot in the driver's seat, "Please stop playing Cher."

He can see from the rearview mirror that Lance has other plans, but luckily Matt picks up what he's putting down and begins whispering with Lance about what to play next.

For a brief moment, Keith is happy.

Until he hears an oh so familiar G note.

"Dear god," Keith whines, because he doesn't want to be cliche emo trash, but here he is, ready to fucking belt this song out whether anyone else sings with him or not.

Luckily everyone but Shiro joins in and his voice is drowned again. After the song, Matt speaks up to the group.

"So how far down the rabbit hole do we wanna go today?"

"All the way fucking down." Pidge says, "I wanna reach China with our emo rabbit hole."

"You got it!" Matt grins, playing a few more MCR songs before playing one you never play.

If you don't wanna cry.

The Ghost of You starts and Pidge even looks at her brother in horror.

"You went to far!" Pidge gasps.

"Abort! Abort the emo rabbit hole!" Lance exclaims and Matt just smirks.

"Fucking take it, kids."

"I love this song," Hunk admits, "But it hurts so bad."

"So good," Matt corrects before shooting a concerned look up to Shiro, "You good with this, babe? I'll change it if not."

He just huffs out a small laugh, "A little late into the song to change it now." His voice is light and he makes sure to turn in his seat and smile at Matt, "It's fine."

They play a few more MCR songs, like Helena and I'm not Okay (which even Shiro sings), before Lance takes the helm.

"Alright, if we are going the emo route we have to do it right, guys. It's not a true emo fest without this song." He declares and waits for everything to be silent for a moment before a familiar song plays, making Pidge start cackling like a maniac and Keith die a little inside.

Evanescence blaring through his speakers with Bring Me to Life is not something he thought would ever happen again.

Yet here he is.

"Fucking jesus, Lance."

"Oh shut up, like you weren't obsessed with this when it came out." Lance smirks and Keith...wants to deny it.

He does.

"This boy was a straight up slut for Evanescence." Pidge says, earning possibly the most pained noise from Shiro that Keith has ever heard.

"Pidge!" Shiro cries and she shrugs as Lance literally dies in the back seat with Matt from laughter.

"Whoops, I meant...he was obsessed."

"Thank you!" He buries his face in his hands, "I'm too sober for this."

"We could fix that." Pidge offers and Matt shakes his head.

"Dude costs a fortune to get drunk. Seriously, he and Keith are on the complete opposite sides if the spectrum. Shiro never gets drunk and Keith is a giggling mess after two wine coolers."

Keith groans, "Are you ever gonna let me live that down?"

"Nope."

"Was that, like, his first time drinking?" Hunk asks and Matt smiles.

"Yup, and every time after that."

Lance and Pidge start laughing as Hunk give him a sympathetic look.

He's honestly not sure which is worse.

They go on after that in relative silence for about six hours, before stopping to grab some food. It's kinda late now and Keith is getting pretty tired so when they all finish eating he makes a beeline for the backseat where Lance is currently getting situated.

"Are you done driving?" Shiro asks and Keith just nods, plopping down next to Lance.

"Yeah, I think I'm gonna nap a bit. Matt, you can take over." Keith yawns and Matt give him a thumbs up.

"You got it."

"Why don't we have someone else drive?" Shiro offers, his eyes zeroing in on Lance, "You get places pretty fast, why don't you drive for a bit?"

"Really?" He asks, eyes shining as Keith hands him the keys.

"Aw man, so close." Hunk sighs and Pidge nods.

"This is so sad, Matt, play Despacito." She says grimly and Matt nods, sliding in next to Keith before playing the song.

"You guys are the worst." He grumbles, crossing his arms and sinking into his seat.

"Ah, ah, ah, Matt." Lance calls from the driver's seat, hooking his phone into the iPod jack and turning off bluetooth, "Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cakehole!" He grins before the slow realization that Matt is no longer the one next to him sets in and he turns to an unamused Shiro, "I mean...whatever you wanna listen to, buddy."

Matt snickers in the back as Shiro takes the phone and plays his favorite band: Muse. "Lance, you are a huge dork and I fucking love you." He says, "I fucking love Supernatural. Keith used to have the biggest crush on Jenson Ackles."

Pidge scoffs, "Used to? He still has a Supernatural poster in your room."

"I-it has all of them, jesus!" Keith stutters.

"Oh please you still go all wide eyed whenever you see him on anything. I've literally never seen you so awestruck by anyone." Pidge laughs and Keith feels his face heat up.

"Ugh, shut up! Jenson is hot, okay? I'm not the only person who thinks so!" Keith looks to the driver's seat to see Lance hyper focused on the road, "You agree, don't you Lance?"

"Yeah, yeah," Lance grumbles, "He's great. He's great."

Keith looks at him curiously for a moment before looking to Pidge, "See?"

"Oof, that was pretty cold, man."

"What are you talking about?" Keith sighs, giving up when she just silently shakes her head.

The rest of the ride is quiet, kind of awkwardly so, and he soon falls asleep against the window. He's not sure when they finally reach Arizona, but as soon as they do Lance, Pidge, and Hunk cheer, waking him up. Matt probably would have, too, if he wasn't currently drooling on Keith's shoulder.

Which, you know, fucking gross.

How Lance put up with him drooling all over his chest is beyond him. The guys is just too nice. Or maybe just a pushover.

Still, they finally reached Arizona, the cheers waking Matt up (thank god) so he can join in. Earning him a dirty look from a tired Keith.

"I've got a hotel all picked out," Shiro says gently once everyone stops, "It's two beds and a pull out couch this time."

Matt yawns next to Keith, stretching a little, "Pidge and I will-"

"Pidge is mine." Keith grumbles, "You sleep with your boyfriend."

He notices the hurt look in Shiro's eyes as they drive into the hotel parking lot.

"Why don't you want to sleep with me?" Shiro asks and Keith scowls at him.

"You are so used to sleeping with Matt now, you are too clingy, it's annoying." He crosses his arms, "Since Lance needs someone to sleep with, I can't sleep with Hunk, so it's obviously Pidge." Keith sighs and looks out the window as Lance parks, "Besides, she's honestly the best person in this van to sleep with, since she's not as touc-"

Matt subtly cuts him off, "Alright, alright, we get it. Pidge is your favorite."

Keith frowns some, "For bed, definitely."

"And in general?" Lance prompts as they all get out and grab their bags.

"Shiro, obviously." Keith answers, smirking at him, "You didn't think it was you, did you?"

Lance laughs, "Definitely not. Figured Shiro and Hunk were tied."

Keith scoffs, "Please, no offense to Hunk but if anyone was tied with Shiro it would be Pidge. She's not, though, her and Matt are tied for second."

"And me and Hunk?"

"Tied for third."

Lance rolls his eyes, "What's with all the ties for everything but number one?"

Keith shrugs as they head for the door, "No one else is as important as Shiro, so you can all pretty much be lumped together."

"Oof," Lance places a hand on his chest, "You wound me, Keith."

"You'll live."

"If I don't, though, remember; we have a standing date for my ghost to smack you in the face."

Keith laughs, "Right, of course, I'll be waiting."

"Ahem," Shiro not-so-subtly clears his throat, making both of them look back to see that they are far ahead of the others, "Keith, could we...talk for a moment?"

Keith narrows his eyes at his brother, wondering if he's going to get the same talk as he had with Matt, because if so it's gonna be a hard pass. "Do we...have to?"

Shiro sighs, "I'm afraid so."

"Are you sure? Because bed sounds really good right now."

"You realize since we're the smallest we will be sleeping on the pull out, right?" Pidge asks and Keith cringes.

He honestly didn't.

Fuck.

"Alright, fine, let's talk or whatever." Keith sighs, following his brother back to the van, Shiro taking the driver's seat this time.

"So…" Shiro takes a deep breath, "Alright, um...you see, Keith...um...when…when two people-er-well t-two guys like each other…"

Keith watches his brother, face flushed and clearly terrified, for a moment before raising a brow, "Are you...trying to give me the sex talk right now, Shiro?"

"Look, I see how you and Lance interact, and I mean, you should have this talk anyways, so-"

"You know...dad gave me the sex talk when I was, like, eleven. Told him I was gay, he went through everything, and even covered straight sex in case I turned out to like more than just guys...so…" Keith looks to his brother, "I seriously don't need this."

"Well, I just-"

"Any of this, Shiro." He says, narrowing his eyes at the man, "I don't need a sex talk, I'm not a kid anymore. Also, might I just add since you and Matt seem to be misguided here, I'm not going to be dating Lan-" Keith stops for a moment, when it suddenly dawns on him, "Wait...is this...is this why you are being so weird with Lance? Because you think-? Oh my god, Shiro! The kid adores you and you are being difficult with him for nothing!"

"You fought when we first met and then you called him pretty earlier. That's not nothing." Shiro points out and Keith raises his arms in exasperation.

"So what!? So he's pretty! I don't always think he's pretty! In fact, of all the ways he's attractive, it's probably the one that pops into my head the least, but none of that matters! We're friends! I think Pidge can be pretty, too! Are you gonna act weird around her, now? Maybe even Hunk!? His eyelashes are, like, enviably long and his smile is probably one of the brightest things in the universe. Are you gonna start keeping us apart?

"I may not look it, and most of the time I don't really act it, but I'm an adult, Shiro! I can make my own decisions and do what I want with my friends. If I want to argue with one and get up in each others faces over stupid little disagreements, I will! If I want to hang out with him on a 30-something hour car ride, I will! If I want to share a bed with my fucking friend, I will! I have three friends of my own, Shiro, stop trying to separate me from one! Just because you're afraid, what? I'm gonna date?

"He's not like Alex, you know. If I want to date him, I will. He's a good guy and pretty fucking attractive, I could do so much worse. Honestly he's probably out of my league, looks wise. I like hanging out with him, too, so we'd have stuff to talk about. After all we genuinely enjoy each other's company. Lance isn't going to hide me because he's ashamed or get too clingy too fast, he's a respectful guy who would absolutely treat me right and-oh my fucking god why am I thinking about this?" He give Shiro a harsh glare, "Why are you making me think about this!?"

Shiro just silently watches as Keith sorta loses his shit, waiting for him to go silent, which he definitely is now. "Look, I...I know he's a good kid. I like him, I do."

"I know you like him!" Keith blurts out, "Which is why this is so confusing! Why are you so-!?"

Shiro raises a hand and Keith goes silent, "I'm worried, Keith. You...when you were younger and you dated you weren't quite comfortable with it yet. You didn't know how two guys were supposed to work and you still felt awkward about being gay. There was always a part of you that had one foot out the door. Despite that, though...I know you really like Francis, that second boy you dated. Pidge told Matt and I how you broke up and when you told me that you didn't want to be blamed for him being into guys it broke my heart, but I know it broke yours far more."

Keith looks away, uncomfortable, "It just made sense. We had a fun summer, that's all that matters."

"Except it isn't. I heard you when you cried in your room after. I saw the pain on your face months after. Hell, last year when Colleen told us he had gotten married to her co-worker's daughter I saw that second of hurt in your eyes." Shiro sighs and rests his forehead on his steering wheel, "I know you weren't fully invested in him, but I know that now...the next time you date someone you will be all in. You're comfortable with yourself now, and don't feel bad about being with a guy or 'making him gay', so if you were to date Lance you would get attached and if it didn't work out you would-"

"So, what, you don't want me to date? You want me to stay single and closed off forever so I don't get my heart broken or something? Shiro, that's easily the most childish thing I've ever heard you say!"

"Alright, first of all, I didn't say that. You did." He points out, giving Keith a stern look, "I am absolutely not saying don't date. I want you to date and experience life, I do. I just...when I look at you two interacting I see just how close you are and how close you could be if you dated and it's conflicting. On one hand I see how happy he could make you, but on the other hand all I can think of is how badly he could hurt you, and it makes me...act out with him, I suppose."

Keith groans and buries his face in his hands. He wants to be mad at Shiro, and a part of him still is, but god damnit the bastard is such a mother hen. "Look, I...guess I get it. I mean most siblings just tease the other in that sort of situation, but your such a fucking mother hen you can't help yourself. If it makes you feel any better, Lance and I will not, I repeat, not, be dating."

Shiro smirks at him, raising a brow, "Are you sure about that? You set up some pretty convincing points on dating him. Almost like you've thought about it."

Keith lifts his head from his hands and give Shiro a dirty look, "Mother hen or annoying older brother, you get one."

Shiro laughs a little before reaching out and ruffling Keith's hair, "I'll be nicer to him, and stay out of your way."

"Seriously, Shiro, throw the kid a fucking bone. I think you're, like, his hero or something." Keith sighs as Shiro laughs harder.

"What? How?"

"Fuck if I know. He doesn't know you well enough to know you're a complete mess?" He offers and Shiro playfully nudges his shoulder.

"Watch it."

"Or what? You can't ground me anymore."

Shiro scoffs, "The hell I can't."

Keith just rolls his eyes, "Whatever old man, let's go inside."

The two head into the hotel and up the elevator to their room, where Pidge let's them inside. They see Matt has already claimed a bed for him and Shiro, having placed all his bags on the one away from the other bed and pull out couch, but the man himself is currently in the midst of a pillow fight with Lance over who is going to get the ice from the hall.

"That's the man you love, Shiro." Keith points out, "That idiot who didn't even think to ask us to grab ice, is the love of your life."

Shiro just smiles and pats Keith on the shoulder, "Sure is, good thing you don't like an idiot currently pillow fighting, huh?" He leans over and whispers in his brother's ear, "Perhaps one you mistakenly think is out of your league?"

Keith goes bright red and moves to punch his brother, but Shiro is already at the door.

"I'll get the ice, guys!" He calls, earning a cheer from Matt and Lance, followed by groans from Pidge and Hunk.

"How are we gonna figure out who gets the last reese's now?" Pidge whines, her concerns going ignored by everyone but an equally suffering Hunk.

Matt quickly goes to collapse in his bed, Lance doing the same in the one he and Hunk are sharing, both giggling like school girls as Pidge walks over to Keith.

"So, what did Daddy Shiro want?"

"To never be called that again." Keith groans, trying to ignore Pidge's snickering next to him.

"But seriously, is everything ok?" She asks, frowning.

"Yeah, it's fine." Keith sighs, "He was just voicing some concerns that honestly aren't even a problem," He says, his eyes following Lance's movements, "For now, at least."

Pidge gives him a knowing smile and pats him on the back, "Well, if it does become a problem, that's for future Keith to deal with."

Keith laughs a little, "Yeah, fuck that guy. I bet he's not stuck in a hotel with five idiots. He'll have time to deal with it."

"You best mean four idiots, emo boy." Pidge warns and Keith smiles innocently at her.

"I can count, Pidge. I stand by my fi-GAH!" He screams, getting tackled by the tiny idiot.

A/N: Stronzina=Little (female)asshole

I will fucking DIE FOR CHER KEITH LETS THROW HANDS

...the music scene in the car ride is heavily influenced by a day last week at my work (and some suggestions in a chat on Amino I'm in). I made my friend play Welcome to the Black Parade and was genuinely shook by The Ghost of You and SHOCKED when she played Evanescence. But damn, she was right. Those were part of our emo high school years.

Also Shiro is Concerned™ hooo boy is he concerned.

(Also I just want to thank you guys for all the nice comments you are send like omg you're killing me ((but don't stop, this is how I want to go)))