Ch. 20: Lance Discovers What's Underneath
"Alright, get the camera out Hunk! The Ghoul Crew needs to be filmed cleaning this puppy!" Lance exclaims as Keith and Pidge get the water ready, the latter practically in the former's lap so they can both be cuddling the dog.
It's….It's a little weird.
Cute.
But weird.
"Ghoul crew my ASS ." Pidge yells from the bathroom, "With you two idiots being the stars it's obviously Ghost Dorks."
Lance gasps, offended to the core, "Excuse you, little girl , I believe the only dork here is the idiot who thinks Rover is an acceptable dog name!"
"It is ." Pidge hisses as Matt and Shiro come into their hotel room. Earlier that day the couple (Shiro) finally caved (to Matt and Keith) and got them their own room for the night. Right next to theirs.
Shiro has honestly been a lot more...accessible since Keith talked to him and Lance kind of wants to ask what he said but he's fairly sure you have to be level Ten friend to unlock private brother arguments.
Lance is probably a level...two.
"Shiro! Ghost Dorks works for this group, right?" Pidge asks and Matt grins.
"With you in it? Absolutely."
The appalled gasp that comes from the small girl moves Matt higher on Lance's list of adults he wants to be like someday..
"I don't remember asking YOU !"
"As Shiro's boyfriend I have the right to speak on his behalf."
Shiro rolls his eyes, heading into the bathroom with a bag. "I got the dog shampoo."
"Awesome!" Pidge grabs it and looks it over, "Jesus, this is some fancy shit. How much did you pay for it?"
"More than all your hair care products combined." Shiro grins.
"To be fair, more than two dollars is pretty normal for pet shampoo." Matt teases, earning himself a large splash in the face when he enters the bathroom.
Lance and Hunk decide to wait on the beds for now. "So how are we gonna wash him?"
"He looks terrified." Shiro observes as the fuzzy ball of dirt trembles beneath Keith and Pidge's hands.
"Someone will have to go in with him." Pidge decides, handing the dog to Keith before standing up and grabbing the hem of her shirt.
"Whoa there!" Keith quickly reaches up and keeps her shirt where it is, thank god. "You are keeping your clothes on. Lance is right, this would be great to put on youtube, but no one here wants you in your underwear all over the internet."
Pidge scowls at him for a moment before letting out a heavy sigh, "I guess you have a point. So who goes in? Shiro, maybe? You know the real fanservice ?"
Keith rolls his eyes, "Shiro can't get his right arm wet, and it isn't exactly a comfort to a terrified dog." He sighs heavily and stands up, handing Pidge the dog. "I guess I'll do it."
" WHAT !?" Lance shrieks, flailing a little on the bed for reasons he can't exactly describe. All he knows is Keith being in his underwear is almost as bad as Pidge in hers. Definitely for different reasons, though. To his horror, Keith is fucking half naked before Lance can even emotionally prepare himself and he has to use all of his willpower not to ogle the idiot's annoyingly fit body. This is bullshit.
"Nice undies." Hunk teases and Lance glances quickly to see Keith's bright red boxers covered in motorcycles and almost immediately the flustered feeling is gone as he bursts out laughing.
" Looking good, Keith !" He cackles as Keith gets into the tub, sending him a dirty look.
"Shut up." The walking mullet grumbles before putting the dog in his lap.
"Here, you take the camera." Hunk says, turning it on and handing it to Lance, "I want in on the puppy cleaning."
Lance wants to say no for a second, but decides better when he realizes that puppy cleaning would mean getting way too close to a wet, practically naked, Keith's body. Which is basically the biggest fucking no ever . He gets closer as everyone prepares and begins to film the dirty dog in Keith's lap, a trail of dirt already forming around it in the water much to the mullet's evident disgust.
Everyone else puts some shampoo in their hands as Keith holds the puppy and Shiro holds the shower head with his left hand, rinsing after they all work out some dirt.
"I'm sooo glad you went in instead of me now." Pidge grins, earning an unamused look from Keith.
"Shut up, you little gremlin."
"At least I'm not covered in dirt."
Keith shrugs as he gets sprayed in the face by his brother, "What the-!?"
"Sorry, didn't mean to." Shiro apologizes, genuinely, and Keith grumbles under his breath as he pushes his bangs out of his eyes.
It takes Lance a full minute to realize he's recording Keith's face and not the dog.
Soon enough, thankfully, they have the dog cleaned up. Turns out it's not brown. The dog is a light greyish with black markings.
"What...is it?" Hunk asks and Keith smiles at the clean puppy in his arms.
"He's a blue merle pomeranian. Looks about six weeks old." Keith frowns, "And malnourished."
"He'll need to go to the vet." Pidge agrees, taking the dog in a plush towel and drying him off.
"We kinda figured it was a puppy from its size, so we got him some puppy food." Shiro says and Matt nods.
"And, equally as important, puppy pads."
Pidge frowns at the puppy in her hands, "I wonder how much the vet will cost.."
"We'll take him tomorrow." Matt says, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and pulling her in, "Consider it our treat."
Pidge grins at the camera, "You guys see this? The Ghost Dorks have a blue merle pomeranian! Expect Rover to show up way more!"
Keith looks at her confused, "What about houses that don't allow dogs?"
"We'll cross that bridge when we get to it!" She decides and even Lance knows that means she's gonna sneak him in.
"Hey, wait!" Lance glares, "I told you we're the Ghoul Crew! Who the fuck calls themselves Ghost Dorks!?"
"Dorks that hunt ghosts." Pidge grins, "Wanna arm wrestle for it?"
"You bet your ass I do!" Lance shoves the camera at Hunk, "You take this, I have a score to settle! Whoever wins gets to choose, no take backs!" He says, rolling up his sleeves as he meets Pidge on one of the beds. They have Matt bring over a little TV tray for their table and begin.
To Lance's surprise, Pidge is strong.
Like, scary strong for such a tiny thing.
Where the fuck is it coming from? He's literally never seen muscles on her.
He's worried, briefly, that he might lose, and finds himself secretly relieved when they tie.
"That's what you get for underestimating her." Matt says proudly, "Shiro and Keith have dragged us poor unassuming Holt siblings to the gym so often that now we're both pretty damn strong."
Lance sighs, "Nothing got solved, though."
Pidge looks to the camera, "Should we leave it up to the fans? Ghoul crew of Ghost dorks, which is it!? Leave your choice in the comments!" She says before motioning for Hunk to turn it off.
"They're gonna choose mine." Lance says, "It's cooler."
"Which is precisely why they won't chose it. Nothing about you is cool." Pidge teases before getting up and plopping down next to Keith so she can pet a now sleeping Rover.
"Ghoul crew is just as nerdy." Keith points out, ignoring the dark look Lance gives him.
" How. Dare. "
"Welp, on that note, we're gonna head to bed." Matt says, quickly grabbing up Shiro's hand, "See you in the morning~! Don't be too afraid if you hear something go bump in the night."
"Knowing you two are in the next room, I will absolutely be afraid if something goes bump in the night." Pidge grumbles and Keith goes pale.
Matt smirks, "Y-"
"Nope, no," Shiro covers Matt's mouth and begins to drag him out of the room, "We're going to sleep now."
Matt wrestles his hand off with a shit eating grin, " We're not going to sleep." He whispers loudly, enjoying the scandalized look on his boyfriend's face.
" MATT!" Shiro yells, bright red before getting him out and slamming the door shut behind him.
The room is pretty quiet when they leave, an awkward silence coming over all of them before Keith hands Pidge the sleeping puppy and goes towards the bathroom.
"Awwww, puppy Keith needs a bath now~" Pidge teases, earning her a middle finger as the door closes, "I'll be sure to send Lance in to help you with those hard to reach places!"
"PIDGE!" Lance exclaims, scandalized, "I am not some piece of meat for you to throw at that unruly puppy of yours!"
Pidge looks him over, slowly, before smirking, "You sure seem like it."
" Pidge, please ." Hunk begs from next to Lance on their bed.
"Fine, fine, I'll stop." Pidge grins, holding the now dry Rover up, "Now enjoy the cute fluffy pom!"
Lance and Hunk's eyes widen in awe. He's never seen something so small and fluffy. It's like a big fluffy cotton ball. " Dios mio ." His eyes narrow on Pidge, "Please do not call something so cute by something so stupid."
"I can call him Chip?" She offers and Lance dies a little inside.
"This poor, poor baby."
Soon enough Keith is out and they put something on TV to fall asleep to.
Except Lance can't sleep. He's not tired for some reason and can't stop thinking about the night they've had. The mining town itself was terrifying on it's own, but to find that poor little dog, stuck with a man who was dead for god knows how long, he has so many questions.
Did this man take it from it's mom? Was the mother dead? Were there others from the litter who died?
Maybe the local shelters found the mom.
He pulls out his phone and begins to search nearby shelter sites, facebook pet pages, everything he can think of because apparently sleep isn't coming until he does.
It's been about half an hour and he has gone through five pet pages on FB for locals selling or buying them, he's trudged through the skeeviness that is Craigslist and has found nothing (and regretted it entirely because at first it was just on Community and not specifically pets and dear godhe thought the sex adds on there were supposed to be gone).
He's a little relieved not to find anything on those pages, and decides now is the time to hit up the non-sketchy places; the animal rescues.
The room is dead quiet as he continues his search, lost in it until he hears a quiet voice.
"Rover there is no physical way to get closer to me please stop trying to shove your face in my mouth." Keith mumbles, but his voice is clear and devoid of any hints he's slept at all in this time.
"Puppy keeping you up?" Lance asks quietly and Keith groans in defeat, sitting up with the small thing now in his lap.
"...I guess…?" Keith looks at the ball of fluff in question, like that hadn't occurred to him in the last 2 hours. "Guess I'm not used to having something all over me and pawing at me while I'm trying to sleep."
Lance silently takes a moment to thank every god that Pidge and Hunk are asleep for that.
"So….why are you up?" Keith asks and Lance laughs a little.
"He's keeping me up, too, in a way, I guess." He holds up his phone and explains what he's been doing for the past half hour and Keith looks genuinely intrigued.
"So you haven't found anything?"
"No, I haven't found any pomeranians locally."
"You know he was a bum, they could be from a ways away."
Lance sighs, "Of course."
"We can search it more tomorrow on the ride home. No one's going anywhere tonight." Keith points out, handing Rover to Lance across the small bit of carpet between the twin beds, "Besides, judging by how disgusting he was when we got him, I would bet good money he found Rover as a very young baby. Probably used what little money he could find on puppy formula and dog food." He points out with a sad smile on his face as Rover licks Lance's hand, "He did his best to help a fellow creature in need."
Lance swallows hard, but cannot fight back some tears for the poor struggling man and his loyal puppy. "God damnit, Keith!"
"Wha-? La-Lance are you crying!?"
" Why do you think !? That's the kind of story you find on Facebook, but it's supposed to have a happy ending for them both!"
Keith shrugs, "Sorry, this is how the world normally works. Homeless people rarely get happy endings, and their good deeds go unnoticed. At least Rover made it out alive. He'll have a great life with all of us looking out for him, so that man's efforts were not wasted. We'll always remember what he did for Rover, tha-...you're drying aga-dude, do you need a tissue or something?"
"I hate you so much right now ." Lance hisses as he takes a tissue from Keith.
"Wha-? I thought I was helping!" The confused boy exclaims, earnestly trying his best and genuinely confused by Lance's reaction. It's endearing in a way.
In a really fucking annoying way.
" Ugh , you have so much to learn about human emotions." Lance grumbles and Keith huffs.
"You say that like I'm not human."
"Clearly you are some sort of alien hybrid."
"That's the dumbest thing you have said...in the last….foouuurrr hours maybe?" Keith says, unsure of his estimate.
Which, come on, rude .
"So tell me, if you are fully human, what do you usually do when you are upset?" Lance asks and the boy across from him thinks for a minute.
"Depends but usually lay in bed and stare blankly at the wall. Which I suppose is odd and your way is much more normal, right?"
"Right! You are supposed to indulge in all your guilty pleasures when you are upset!"
Keith lets out a small laugh, "I find it hard to believe the guy who shamelessly hunts ghosts has any guilty pleasures."
"Of course I do. Everyone does." Lance says proudly before realizing his idea of guilty pleasures and Keith's might be vastly different. "I-I'm talking about, like, television stuff by the way. Not, you know. You know. "
"Kinks?" Keith offers and Lance's face goes bright red, making him laugh a little "I know you're not talking about those, Lance."
"G-good! Just wanted to make sure we were on the same page!"
"Just because I hang out with Pidge all the time doesn't mean my head is in the gutter like hers." He looks to Lance with a mischievous glint in his eye, "So what shows does our avid ghost hunter feel embarrassed about enjoying?"
Lance blushes more, "Y-you can't tell anyone." He says, "Is Pidge definitely asleep?"
Keith raises a brow but turns to look at the girl behind him and nods, "Yeah, she's out."
Lance stretches some to peer over Keith at the girl, "How do you know ?"
"Well, I mean, she doesn't snore like you and Hunk, but when she is deep asleep her breathing is a very specific way. I don't know how to explain it, but she is 100% asleep."
"What if she's faking?"
Keith laughs, "She's tried to mimic it while pretending to sleep, trust me I know the difference."
Lance smiles a little at that, "You guys are really close, huh?" He asks as he cuddles more with Rover, "That's why you didn't put up a fight over who truly owned Rover, huh? Even though it's painfully obvious you want him just as much."
"There's certain things I can do that Pidge can't, no matter how hard she tries, which she has she just doesn't like to admit it." Keith says and Lance looks at him confused, "One day I will find a guy, fall in love, and move in with him to start a life together, just like her brother did. When that happens Pidge will truly be on her own, fending for herself. You'll find someone, Hunk will find someone, and I mean that's basically it for her friends. Besides Allura and Romelle from home, but they are already a couple. She can't form that romantic bond, no matter how many times she tries, no matter how much she likes the person it never takes that next step. Her deepest bonds are with gadgets and animals."
Lance smiles at him, "So you are making sure she has someone when-wait...are you...do you already like someone?"
Keith's eyes widen and there's an awkward silence for a full fucking minute before he sighs, "Yeah, I guess I do. I'm not going to...pursue it though. Too much of a hassle."
Lance gasps, "But! But you have to! You've had such shit luck in relationships you should absolutely go for it!"
"No, I'm not ready for anything yet anyways. Besides, things are finally good with this person I'm not gonna fuck that up. Not worth it." Keith shrugs and Lance sighs.
"I guess if you really don't want to…"
"That's right, don't think I forgot from the change of subject, Lance."
Lance pales a little, "F-forgot…? Forgot what? Who was changing the subject? Oh, hey while we're at it, what did you and your brother talk about?" He asks, pretty much jokingly but hey if Keith answers then awesome. If he doesn't it at least buys him a little more time.
"Ooohhhhh no, Keith's honesty time is over, Lance. It's your turn. I asked a question, I expect the answer." Keith teases and Lance buries his face in his hands and whines.
"You're terrible . Humans don't treat their friends this way!"
"Then I guess literally none of us are humans."
Lance laughs a little before glaring at Keith, "You tell no one."
"I tell no one." He repeats, like it's a vow, because damnit it is. Pidge can never know.
"You can't drop me as a friend because of it, either." Lance adds, "I've latched on, you have me there for life."
Keith's smirk drops, now a little concerned, but nods, "Yeah, alright."
"Okay! So, like, you know...telenovelas, right?" Lance asks and Keith nods, "Okay, so, I'm kind of following, like, five of them. Since I was six. Mom used to watch them and I got into them and she dropped them but damnit I can't, I love them ." He groans, hiding his face again, "I'm so invested in everything in them, they taught me more Spanish than my own family did." After the admission he peeks through his hands and blushes at the sight of the fond smile now on Keith's face. His heart plummets down to his stomach when their eyes actually meet, but Keith doesn't say anything.
"I-I guess since you're pretty much unfazed by that...um...my other one is...you know...those made for TV movies about killers?" He asks nervously and Keith thinks for a second.
"Umm...all I can think of are the Lifetime ones…"
"Yeah, those, I love those." Lance admits, "Sooo much, Keith. So much. I have a secret stash of DVDs for some of them that lifetime made in like the 90s. I think some are even from the 80s. Keith , it's so fucking bad . I'm obsessed." He lets out a heavy sigh and looks over to Keith sheepishly, "Okay, you can laugh."
"I want to, I really do," Keith admits, "But I feel like my guilty pleasure is worse…"
"Ohhh?" Lance asks, inching closer with a devilish smirk, "And what would that be?"
"Ooohhhh no, I already opened up enough tonight."
"You have to, Keith! It's bonding! Bonding! "
Keith groans and buries his face in his hands, "Alright, but just...remember...I don't really watch this movie...so much as I put it on to fall asleep. I have it in my netflix queue to help me nap, that is it ."
"Uhuh, uhuh, come on. Tell the class." Lance teases, enjoying the sight of Keith practically folding in on himself in shame.
"I...I watch Pocahontas 2... a lot ." Keith admits quietly and holy shit that is so much worse than he was expecting.
" Oh my god," Lance breathes, "You watch that !?"
"For naps, Lance! For naps!" Keith exclaims, "I know it's terrible, and it's not even historically accurate and I never stay awake long enough to even see her make it to London, but it's my go-to for naps. It's kind of nostalgic and nice but not good so I don't feel the need to stay up and watch."
Lance listens to the boy try to excuse his way out of it, and he can't help the shit eating grin on his face as he does, "So just how far do you usually make it before falling asleep?"
Keith shrugs, "Honestly? I rarely make it past the first song. I think the farthest I have lasted was when John Rolfe meets Pocahontas and they kinda butt heads, but I was pretty far gone by that point so I didn't see it, I just heard it."
"Have you ever watched the whole thing?" Lance asks, cooking up an idea.
"Seriously? I didn't even know it existed until I saw it on Netflix. I used to be so obsessed with the original when I was little, I even went as Pocahontas for Halloween when I was 5, 6, and 7, so I tried it...but I fell asleep almost immediately." Keith explains and Lance's eyes light up.
"You went as Pocahontas for Halloween? Oh my god tell me you have photos."
"No, Lance, don't you dare."
"Oh don't worry, I know not to go to you for it. I'll get them, though."
The raven haired boy crosses his arms and smirks at Lance, "You think Shiro will give you that?"
Lance smirks back, "I don't need Shiro to. Not when I have Matt ."
The look of horror on Keith's face makes it all worth it. "Lance, Lance no. Let's be reasonable here."
"Oh, also, free up some time when we get back because you and I are gonna watch the whole second Pocahontas movie." Lance grins, "No sleep allowed."
Keith looks confused, and extremely conflicted, "I...are we…? Are Pidge and Hunk gonna watch, too?"
"Nope, just us." Lance says, "I would rather die than let Pidge know I watched that."
"O-oh…" Keith's voice kinda squeaks, "Th-ok, that's...um...ok...I'll be free Wednesday night around 5. They work until 8, so…?"
"Sounds good. I get off work around 5 on Wednesday, too. We'll watch it at my place." Lance decides and Keith raises a brow.
"Why your place?"
"You'll be less likely to sleep on my couch. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a late night text to send Matt."
"Lance, NO! Don't be that guy!"
A/N:
A friend who reads this and I are disagreeing on their name. Ghoul Crew of Ghost Dorks? I vote the former, she votes the ladder. Tell me your pick and it'll be what they refer to themselves as! Both are excellent choices, and accurate.
Merry after the holidays~ well I mean New Years is next week but like eh. Honestly the holidays meant jack shit to me this year and now I'm moving on the 8th s S. Bt it's a cheaper place so I can buy myself a house in a couple of years. Wooo
Anyways, here's this.
I was gonna have Rover either look like my puppy Pidge, or my new pom Bijou, but Pidge is a sable pom and Bijou is a black and tan female so neither really seemed like Rover to me. Then I decided, obviously, it has to be a merle pom. I mean come on.
It's so obvious.
Anyways if you are readin these notes I want you to know I read and fucking live for all of the reviews, I'm just a lazy bastard who doesn't respond right away. But really thanks for putting up with my shit.