"I'm surprised you're letting anyone stay in her room," Dmitri said as he buttoned up his shirt. Red sat at the end of the bed, covering her dark circles with makeup and painting on a red smile with lipstick.

"Mm," Red replied. She didn't want to think about Tricia, or the fact that she hadn't slept in that bed in such a long time. She brushed the knots from her hair and smoothed it down, glancing at Dmitri in the mirror. "She needed a place to sleep. You can't sleep off that shit on a couch." Her thoughts went to Nicky, and she wondered if she'd be awake yet. The anxious expression on her face gave away what - or, more accurately, who - Red was thinking about, and Dmitri rubbed his neck. Besides, Red thought indignantly, Nicky wasn't just anyone.

"It's happening again," Dmitri said. He raised his eyebrows, fixing the collar of his shirt. "You said after her you'd never get attached again. You said you couldn't do it again," he insisted. "Not for someone who couldn't be saved. You said you couldn't love them."

"I said that about you too, a long time ago," Red sighed. She slipped out of her dressing gown and Dmitri stood behind her, his hands caressing her waist.

"Well, I always loved you," he said, running his hands down her bare hips. Red rolled her eyes. "Every inch of you. Ever since we were nineteen."

Red glanced at herself in the mirror, wrinkling her nose. She pinched her stomach, disheartened that she didn't see the figure of a teenager in the mirror anymore. "There's more inches to love on me now."

"You'll always be my krasnaya roza," Dmitri promised. "But I'm worried about you, Galina. What happens next?"

Red stepped out of Dmitri's grasp and pulled on a blue sweater. It was old and frayed, but comforting. It reminded her of home. Of her mama cooking in the cold, her cheeks rosy from the borsch steaming in the well used pot. She needed reminders of better times, she thought, shimmying into a pair of dark pants.

"What happens next?" Red asked. She raised her eyebrows. "Do I look like a psychic, Dmitri? I know you don't put things away often, but I'm not hiding a crystal ball in those drawers." Red shut her eyes for a moment, counting to five in her head. "I know you're worried about me," she relented, a grimace sweeping her features. "But who worries about her?"

Meanwhile, in the room over, Nicky sat up in bed. She blinked in the harsh sunlight coming through the window and wondered why there weren't drapes up. The whole room looked different to the rest of Red's home, and if Nicky had been feeling better, she would have snooped a little more. Rubbing her eyes, she felt the all too familiar feeling of coming down swirling in her stomach. That's where she always felt it most. Taking a deep breath, Nicky pushed down the feeling of vomit rising in her throat. She groaned. Would she ever learn? She thought, because as her whole body ached, she still craved another hit.

Her head span, but she could hear Red making noise in the kitchen. Her curiosity got the better of her and she wondered what Red would say to her this morning. If she'd keep her word on wanting to help. And truthfully, Nicky was scared. Scared that Red would throw her out. Because pushing boundaries was what Nicky did best, and pushing people away was easier than letting them in.

"You're going to NA this afternoon," Red announced over breakfast. Nicky paused, the glass she was holding suspended mid-air. She felt the scrambled eggs she'd manage to stomach churning. She sprang from her chair, and made it to the sink as she began to retch. Of all the things she'd expected to hear from Red, that wasn't one of them.

Red stood behind her, rubbing gentle circles in her back. The older woman bit her lip, steeling herself for an uncomfortable situation. As she held Nicky's hair back, she wondered how the rest of the conversation would go. Not well, she imagined.

Nicky stumbled back to her chair, taking a sip from the water she'd abandoned just a few moments ago. The cooling liquid calmed her stomach and her skin, but not her fiery temper. She crossed her arms against her chest. "I'm not going to NA. No fucking way."

Red continued to sip her coffee, her grip on the mug tightening. She stood, resting against her chair, and stared down at Nicky. Her white knuckles were the only indication of her emotional state, and she hid it well. "Yes, you are."

"This is bullshit," Nicky said. Her eyes hardened. She licked her lips, a vein bulging in her neck. "This is bullshit!"

"No," Red continued, finally placing the coffee mug down with a shaking hand. "This is consequences for your actions." The way Nicky blinked at her, completely taken aback, almost made Red want to take the words back. But the image of Tricia's lifeless body flashed through her mind, and she reminded herself - she was doing this so that she could give in to other things in the future. Because God damn it, this girl would have a future.

Nicky's brow furrowed. "You can't tell me what to do. You're not my mom," she insisted. She sounded like a child and she knew it.

Red's whole expression softened and she let out a small sigh. "If I was your mother, you never would have turned to that shit."

"You think so?" Nicky said. There was still an edge to her voice, but her expression had lost its angriness. "I was always hopeless, Red."

Red's gaze lingered on Nicky. "We'll see."

When four o'clock rolled around, and Red stood by the door ready to leave, Nicky stayed sitting. Luna was curled in her lap, and the cat purred as Nicky absentmindedly ran her fingers down her fur. Nicky locked eyes with Red across the room.

"Come on," she said firmly, tilting her head towards the door. "There's still a lot of snow on the ground. It'll take awhile to walk it."

"What about your back?" Nicky asked, making no effort to get up. She scratched behind the cat's ears, not looking at Red.

"I'm not worried about my back," Red said, inwardly rolling her eyes. "I do have a pain in the ass, though."

Nicky's eyebrows shot upwards. "I could go on my own."

Red suppressed a sigh. "But then I'd miss the stale cookies and watered down juice," she said. She checked her watch and opened the door a crack. "Now come on. Luna will be here when you get back."

Nicky finally stood, letting the cat curl up in the space she left behind. With one last glance back to Luna, Nicky reluctantly looped her arm through Red's. "You're seriously gonna make me do this?"

Red closed the door behind them both. "You're not going to refuse a woman you crippled, are you?" She turned so Nicky couldn't see the smile she couldn't hide.

Nicky huffed, but helped Red carefully down the few steps they had to navigate. "Not when you put it that way."

Nicky rubbed at her wrist as Red opened the door to the NA meeting. The dimly lit room looked dingy and dirty. Even Red cringed as they sat on the plastic chairs, settling down as they creaked. Nicky regarded the crowd as she inched towards the table on the far side of the room, picking up a cookie and a watered down juice. She sidled back to Red, passing her the drink and snack with a smirk.

"Looks delicious," she grinned. "Enjoy NA's generous proffering."

Red rolled her eyes but took them, and patted the chair next to her. "Come on," she said quietly. "Sit down, they'll be starting soon."

After a seemingly endless stream of stories and experiences, Nicky was ready to leave. She glanced at Red, who made no effort to stand. The cookie and juice remained untouched in her grip.

"How about our newcomer? Would you like to come and share your story?"

Nicky looked up. It took a moment for her to realize the newcomer was her, and she ran her hand over her bare arm, shrugging. "Oh, um, I don't know. My story isn't exactly exciting. Doesn't end with barbeque sauce on my tits or anything." Nicky stared at the blank faces around her. "Never heard that one?" She shrugged again, raising her eyebrows. "Okay. Um, well. I guess I could share."

Nicky stood and pulled her shirt down self-consciously as she made her way to the podium. She'd never been shy or afraid of crowds, but revealing the worst of her in front of Red made sweat prickle on the back of her neck. That, and the detox her body had been plunged into yet again. She didn't meet Red's eye as she started her story.

"I guess when people know you're on drugs, they expect a drama. A rock bottom story. I don't have that. Unless you count right now. But I don't think I'm at rock bottom," Nicky said. She inhaled deeply. "I just like it. No, I love it. I haven't loved many things in my life." Nicky kneaded the wooden podium as she thought of what to say. "That first hit...it felt like I'd found my missing piece. Everyone seemed to have everything figured out. They were going to college, getting jobs. Their families were helping them become who they were supposed to be."

Red swallowed. She could have wept upon realizing that Nicky could have been no older than twenty when she first turned to drugs. Drugs hadn't even been on Red's radar at that age, they had just been something people did in a different life to the one she led, something distant and horrible. Done by lonely, haggard people, ugly from years of mistreating their bodies. Not pretty young girls with their whole lives ahead of them. Not smart young women who had the world at their feet. And not the people she cared about.

"It...it kinda felt like it loved me back." Nicky laughed hollowly. "I know it was just the buzz. But it was different, you know? I wasn't used to feeling that...it was nice." Nicky looked to her feet. She scuffed the threadbare carpet with the toe of her equally worn Converse. "But hey, I'm sure there are loads of things that can make you feel that, right?" Nicky nodded. "Family, your parents. Lovers. Friends." She flickered her eyes to the small crowd listening intently. "You think that's easier to score than heroin?"

Red rubbed her head as she listened. It was worse than she thought. Maybe Dmitri was right, maybe she was bringing trouble to her doorstep and it was more than she could handle. But then she heard her name.

"You know, I didn't want to come tonight. But Red - she's right there, in the back row - she made me come. And um, well, no-one's ever cared enough to do that. My mom sent me to rehab a bunch of times, but that was to get me out of sight. Outta sight, outta mind, right? But Red's right there. And she won't appreciate the connection, but she's a bit like my heroin right now. There when I need her." Nicky rubbed the back of her neck. "So, yeah. Thanks, Red."

The man leading the group gave Nicky an encouraging smile. "Thanks for sharing that. Now, shall we say the Serenity Prayer.."

Nicky looped arms with Red again as they made their way out of the old building, filled with more hope than either of them expected to leave with upon entering the downtrodden place. Nicky looked up at the blue sky, letting the winter sun hit her face, and Red knew it was useless. She'd never be able to let her go. Even though they'd just met, Red felt a desperate longing to help her. Despite Dmitir's warnings, she knew she was becoming attached. A faint smile crossed her lips.

"I'm not giving up on you," Red said, smoothing a piece of hair out of Nicky's eyes. "You know that, don't you?" She fought the urge to tuck the scarf tighter around Nicky's neck, knowing she'd push her away.

Nicky breathed in the crisp afternoon air, and without opening her eyes said, "They all say that, you know."

Red nodded. She didn't doubt that they had said it, but she did know that she wasn't them. "You'll see," she said lightly. "They'll all see."

A/N:

Hi my lovelies! How are you all?
I hope you enjoyed the new season. Let me know your thoughts!
Please leave a review telling me your thoughts on the chapter too.
Hope you're all well and happy.

- Star xo