Opportunity's Knocked Up

"I don't know why you aren't panicking. If it was me, I'd probably be panicking."

Chandler looked over at Ross and scoffed. The two men were seated on opposite ends of the orange couch that they were accustomed to having available to them whenever there were at Central Perk. Chandler had made it a habit to meet Ross for an afternoon cup of coffee whenever he was in the city for work. It gave them a sense of familiarity and distracted them both from the fact that is has been almost a year since the entire group were able to sit together, at the same time, in this very same coffee house that, for so many years, was like a second home to them.

It became even more rare to see any of them at Central Perk, now that Chandler was the only one between Monica and himself that still worked in Manhattan. He has become the only representative from their little family on days like this. Monica used to have an early cup of coffee with Rachel before some of her shifts while she was still working at Javu, but ever since she had opened up her own restaurant, which was nestled in their little Westchester town, she had not stepped foot in the city. Her and Rachel now relegated to a few phone calls a week and promises of getting together at some point in the near future.

Chandler looked down at his coffee. "Well, dairy does tend to give me gas, but it's nothing I'm panicky about."

Ross huffed and rolled his eyes. "No. About the baby!"

"Oh. That. Actually, I feel pretty good about it. The twins will be closer to two when the baby is born, so they should be pretty self-sufficient by then."

Ross started to choke on his own tongue as he flailed his arms around incredulously. "What? Do you have any idea how much worse it is going to get? You guys are still in the good part right now, but once they start walking, it is a whole new ballgame."

"Really? I figured that once they started walking it meant they could get their own drinks and stuff."

Ross began to convulse wildly, his eyes widened in disbelief. "What! Are you insane? They're going to get into everything, and it won't be like it is now, where you can pick them up and strap them into something. Once they learn how to walk, they just want to move all the time. You just walk around behind them; it is like some crazy sleep deprived parade. And there is always something you forgot. A chair that they walk into, a door left open, the toilet seat up, your favorite novelty sabretooth tiger fang broken in half and stuffed under the couch."

"That last one sounded kind of specific to you."

"And then they don't sleep as much, and they learn one word and say it over and over and over. They eat more, and they make messes and then there is the size of the poop. I swear to you man, you've never seen anything like it."

Chandler smirked into his coffee cup and the sarcastically mocked a stunned expression. "Babies poop? Okay, now you're scaring me."

Ross ignored Chandler's sarcastic tone and continued. "And then, before you know it, they're two. Do you know what kind of a jerk a two-year-old can be?"

"You know what? Now that you mention it, I distinctly remember when Ben was two and he stole my wallet."

Ross shook his head and settled back into his chair. "Okay funny guy. Laugh it up now, but by this time next year, you'll be all, 'Oh, Ross, you were so right' and 'Ross, I'm so sorry' and 'Ross, I was wrong to call your book boring'." Ross picked up his paper and began to sulk for a bit as he shook his head.

Chandler reached over, smugly chuckling to himself, and took up his mug of coffee for a sip. "You know, I actually think Monica is more worried than I am."

"Really? Monica?"

"I know. I guess maybe with the restaurant, the twins, and how tired she has been lately."

Ross nodded. "Yeah, those first few months really knock them out. I remember how Rachel was with Emma. Any time she was sitting still, she fell asleep." He put his paper down and leaned forward again, trying to speak discretely. "Well, is, uh, you know, is everything else okay? Medically?"

Chandler nodded reassuringly. "Yeah. Monica's new doctor got all of that stuff from the place we used to go to here, and he seems to think all our issues were with conception. He didn't see anything in our paperwork that's a cause for concern, but, that's probably worrying her too."

"Wow. A worried Monica? What are you going to do?"

"Well, I'm trying to do as much as I can to lighten the load for her. I'm trying to convince her to let us hire some help for around the house."

Ross screwed up his face. "Like, to clean?"

Chandler nodded. "Yeah, maybe, or a nanny."

"You know Monica will see that as a betrayal. You will never live it down."

"I know. It didn't work out so well the last time I tried to hire a house cleaner, but I think we need more professional help than my dad or your mom. I mean, look how we all turned out. Jack and Erica should at least get a fighting chance at being fully functioning members of society."

Ross glared at Chandler, and insulted expression washed over his face. "I'm a functioning member of society!"

"Ross, you are about to enter your fourth marriage."

Chandler sat at his desk and was having a hard time concentrating on the materials he was given this morning to go over prior to the staff meeting that he was going to a few hours. Despite his jocular attitude earlier today with Ross, he was worried. He felt that he and Monica could barely keep up with the demands of the twins, and now they were adding a third child to the mix. How were they going to handle that?

It had only been a week since the doctor gave them the official, no doubt about it, you are one-hundred percent pregnant diagnosis. It was not real to him until that moment. Three kids. A house to maintain. Operating a small business that he had already projected to lose eight-hundred dollars this month. The sheer amount of stress that they will endure over the next nine months was daunting to consider. The Chandler Bing of only a year ago would have been driven mad with panic and doubt. But the Chandler Bing of today has a secret weapon that is more powerful than panic and doubt.

His phone began to ring which knocked him out of his reverie and back into the real world. He shook his head and picked up the receiver.

"Chandler Bing."

"Hey, Chandler. Can I see you in my office?"

"Sure. I'll be right there."

Chandler hung up, grabbed the paperwork for today's meeting, assuming his boss want them to discuss something about it in greater detail, and made his way from his cubicle to Steve's office down the hall. Chandler knocked lightly on the open door and his boss looked up, signaling for him to come in.

"I hope this isn't where you tell me bad news."

Steve smiled and motioned for him to sit down. "No. As a matter of fact. The opposite. We have this new client that we just signed, and it is really important we get this first proposal right. it could open up a few new areas to our firm and they have a really large catalog of products. If we want exclusivity with their entire portfolio, we really need to knock their socks off with this first one. We will be meeting with the art director in about two weeks and I wanted to give you the first crack at it. You've been doing a great job and I think you could do well with this product."

Chandler allowed a half-smile to cross his lips as he began to feel a swell of pride. "Wow. Thank you, sir."

"Also, we will be looking to add two new senior copywriters this fall from our internal staff and I think you could really help yourself in getting one of those spots by tackling this. Now, it might mean you have to come into the office a few more days than you have been over the last year. Maybe put in a few extra hours, but I really think you can handle this. Whoever takes the lead on this one in our group will probably get an early inside track on that promotion."

Chandler allowed his fingers to dance along his chin for a moment. "Wow, Thanks for thinking of me sir. I uh, you know. I just have to discuss this with my wife. The extra hours. Well, see, she has this schedule and pretty much every minute is accounted for. If she knew we were having this meeting right now, without it already being pre-authorized, well, she would probably kill me."

Steve shook his head, "That's fine, but I need to know soon. We can't hold off on this. Can you get back to me first thing tomorrow morning?"

"Of course. And thanks again. I really appreciate you thinking of me for this."

"You've earned it."

Chandler fidgeted in his seat on the train, unable to sit still. He was bubbling over with excitement that he had been carrying around with him ever since his meeting with Steve. He could not wait to get home to tell Monica about his day at work. He knew she would be excited as well, after all, she was the main reason that he was working at the ad agency in the first place. Without her encouragement and patience while he was unemployed, he probably would have gotten his old job back, re-configuring data and analyzing statistics. Ever since he first got the internship, she has been heavily invested in his progress at work, and he enjoyed how proud she would be of him whenever he had good news.

He looked at his watch and shook his head at the idea that he still had almost an hour to go before he got home. He knew he could not wait another hour. He slipped his phone from his jacket pocket and began to flip it open and closed and he thought about what he wanted to do. He hated the idea of not seeing her face when he told her about the chance to move up again so quickly at his firm. He finally nodded to himself, pressed down a few numbers on the keypad, and put the receiver up to his ear. It rang for several seconds until he heard his wife's voice on the answering machine's outgoing message. He closed the phone again and sighed as he decided not to leave a voicemail.

He looked at the phone one more time, opened it, and dialed again, listening to it ring as he waited for someone to pick it up. "Hey, Ross. How's it going. I know. I just got this great news at work and I had to tell somebody."

Chandler walked into his home and found it enveloped in an almost eerie sort of quiet. He placed his coat on the back of the chair in the den and started to look around the house. Finding that there was no one downstairs he made his way up to the second floor and slowly opened the door to his bedroom.

"Mon?"

A groggy voice called back to him. "Hmm. Oh. Hey sweetie. I am so glad you're home. I've been terrible today. I just have no energy and I've been so nauseous. I brought the twins up for a bath but I just needed to lie down for a minute. They're playing in their cribs right now."

Chandler came over and sat on the edge of the bed, and when Monica moved to sit up, he put his hand gently on her shoulder, insisting she lie back down. She smiled and rolled over on her side as she closed her eyes. Chandler placed a kiss on the top of her head, to which she hummed in response. "Oh, I'm sorry you don't feel good. Did you go to work?"

"Just for a little bit, but I couldn't be in the kitchen. I had to have Javier take over and run it and I spent most of the day hiding in the office. How am I going to cook if I can't be in the kitchen?"

Chandler gently ran his hand up and down her waist and placed one more kiss on her worried brow. "Well, maybe let someone else handle that for now. Can Javier run the kitchen for a few weeks until this passes?"

"I don't know. Maybe. I don't even have the energy to get up. Could you give the twins their bath? They should still be up. I put them in their cribs with some toys about twenty minutes ago."

Chandler nodded and gave her one last kiss, he worried about her; ever since she became pregnant, she had made a habit of repeating herself when talking to him. Almost like she was running on such a low battery that she was starting to have problems even keeping her thoughts in order. "Sure. Did you eat anything?"

"No. I've been so busy with these two. I don't even know what I can eat without it making me feel like I am going to throw up."

Chandler stood up and started to remove his tie and roll up his sleeves. "How about you get a nap in. I'll get Jack and Erica ready for bed and later you come down and I'll make something like pancakes and we will see how those go down."

Monica mumbled a few words, already falling back asleep and Chandler quietly slipped from the room.

A few hours later he returned to the bedroom with a folding tray that had some food and a glass of water on it. He placed it on the edge of the bedside table and began to shake her gently. Her eyes fluttered open and she yawned as she stretched. "Oh, what time is it?"

"Eight-thirty. Why don't you sit up and have some of this." He reached over and grabbed the tray, propping it up in front of her once she straightened up. She looked down at the food he prepared, a few pancakes, some sliced banana and a couple of pieces of lightly buttered toast. She picked up a piece of toast and began to chew it down slowly. "Thanks. I'm so sorry I left you alone with those two. Did they go down easy?"

"Jack did. Erica needed a little persuading though. Here, I brought your vitamins and a glass of water up too. Why don't you just stay in bed and after you're done eating, I'll bring you some of that decaf tea you bought and I'll grab your book. We can just hang out in here tonight and take it easy. Sound good?"

Monica, still munching away on her toast, nodded and smiled. "I'd kiss you if I wasn't so hungry right now."

"It's not the first time a woman chose food over me."

Monica weakly smiled up at her husband and finished swallowing another piece of toast. "How do you do it? How are you so calm?"

"Well, I kind of have a secret weapon."

"What is it?"

Chandler looked down and flashed an almost embarrassed smile. 'Well, when I start to think about all the crazy stuff going on, or start to worry about how we are going to handle this and if we are doing the right thing. I close my eyes and I put myself back in the doctor's office, you know, when we heard the heartbeat. It kind of soothes me." He placed his hand on her stomach just above her waist and smiled again. "It makes me feel good. To know what it sounds like. I can hear it so clearly. It's the best sound I ever heard."

Monica's face melted into a sweet smile as her eyes watered a bit around the edges. She grabbed at his hand and placed a small kiss on his knuckles. "I'm really lucky to have you. You know that? I don't know what I would do if you weren't here." Chandler could only offer back a bashful smile in response.

Chandler kicked his feet up onto the coffee table in front of him while he waited for Ross to meet him at Central Perk for a quick cup of coffee. He only had about an hour for lunch, but he figured it was enough time for a quick chat and a drink. He heard the door to the shop open and turned his head to see Ross greet him with a nod as he entered.

Ross walked over and dropped his coat on the chair. "Hey, two days in a row. It's almost like you never left." Chandler chuckled and nodded. "So, how did everything go with the whole new job opportunity thing you were telling me about yesterday?"

"Oh that? Yeah, that fell through."

"Oh? How come? I thought this was a done deal for you. You seemed pretty excited."

"Uh…well, the client wanted to go in a different direction I guess. It's fine though. I think Monica really needs me to be around more so it all worked out in the end."