Chapter 15: Secret Tunnels
Obi-wan Jakoby and his four clone commandos finished off another legion of B1 battle droids. Whether they were up against one or one hundred the result was always the same, boredom. Destroying the Separatists' battle droids had become easy.
The greatest challenges of the war came not from the droid army, but from the organics that partook in opposing the Galactic Republic. Such as Mako Woundo's leader, President Umberto. The search for President Umberto had been slow and agonizing. Mako Woundo was only known for its unrelenting hailstorms, but under the surface there was a huge underground system of cities, tunnels, and caverns that kept providing the Separatist cowards with opportunities to prolong the fighting. What made the situation so slow and aggravating was that the Confederates had been planting mines and detpacks in the tunnels to kill anyone who tried to get through them. Teams of expendable Kaminoan worker droids were used as minesweepers to allow the GAR to continue onward in the deep dark depths of Mako Woundo.
Jakoby used Force push to knock over a trio of battle droids. He then ran up and sliced off their heads while they were still on the ground. Another droid tried to avenge his fallen comrades, but has decapitated by the Jedi Weapon Master.
"Go go go!" Tai waved on the squad of Kaminoan worker droids to begin their inspection of the upcoming tunnel. Jakoby and his commandos had made a game out of seeing when they could send the makeshift minesweepers while they were still fighting the battle droids and not get any of the Kaminoan worker droids killed. There were still eight operational B1 battle droids fighting when the Kaminoan worker droids set out for their task. Eight battle droids was a new record, the previous one being six.
The commandos quickly finished off the hapless B1s with no difficulty. A clone trooper sergeant by the name of Gnasher came up from the tunnel Jakoby had originally emerged from. "Sir," the clone saluted.
"What is it, Gnasher?" Jakoby asked.
"A message from the Jedi Council." The clone sergeant handed Jakoby an imagecaster. Jakoby watched the recording. This deep underground, communications were easily disrupted and the GAR had to make due with runners to deliver messages. Sending runners was time consuming, but the only reliable means of long-range communication. The message instructed Obi-wan Jakoby to quell unrest growing on the planet Kalaan before it evolved into a full-scale rebellion against the Republic.
"The old folks want me to go fix Kalaan? I haven't finished with this miserable planet yet."
"We are making progress, sir. It shouldn't be much longer," Ace spoke.
"You said that two days ago," Jakoby reminded the clone commando.
"Sooner or later I'm going to be right sir."
As Jakoby and Ace conversed, Kicker kicked battle droid parts around the cavern while Jack cleaned his rifle. Tai looked over to see how the Kaminoan worker droids were progressing with the new tunnel and noticed that he didn't see any signs of movement.
"Ah, General, I think something happened to the worker droids," Tai said.
"What? Impossible. I made sure they got past the battle droids. They were fine."
"There's no activity in the tunnel sir." Tai pointed.
"Let's check it out," Ace ordered.
"You stay here," Jakoby told Gnasher. The clone sergeant gripped his DC-15 shotgun, wishing he could join the others.
The clone commandos turned on their floodlights and had their weapons at the ready as they entered the new tunnel.
"Look, the droids, they've been shot up." Jack observed as they went further in.
"There's no one here." Kicker was disappointed; the clone wanted another fight.
"Perhaps the clankers that shot them ran off," Tai suggested.
Jakoby looked around the tunnel, yet saw nothing. Suddenly, he felt a disturbance in the Force. "Get down!" Jakoby knocked Tai to the ground as a blaster bolt flew the clone's way.
A spelunker probe droid, as known as a chameleon droid, appeared from out of nowhere. Having given its position away, the droid saw no need to continue to use its camouflage.
"Blast it!" Ace yelled.
Two more chameleon droids appeared, but they were on the ceiling. The three droids rained down fire at the clone commandos. Kicker destroyed one with his anti-armor attachment while Ace, Jack, and Tai blasted the other on the ceiling. Jakoby rushed in, moving left to right in quick bursts to throw off the remaining droid's aim. Obi-wan Jakoby decapitated the droid that had attacked from the ground.
"These droids might have planted mines. We need to get another squad of Kaminoan worker droids in here," Jack said.
"Great, now this will take even longer," Kicker whined.
"So you want to sweep for the mines yourself?" Ace asked.
"No," Kicker answered.
"Patience," Jakoby cut in. "The Seppers have only bought themselves some time. They are running out of places to hide from us."
"Hey, a moment ago you were the one who was getting impatient," Ace accused his Jedi General.
"Yes, but this changes things. They're sending their higher-quality droids against us now. That means we must be getting close to the President."
Another group of Kaminoan worker droids was brought in and swept the tunnel for mines and other traps. Once the Republic droids reached the end of the tunnel and the opening to a new cave they turned around and beeped an all clear signal to the clones, and then were immediately blown apart.
"We're running out of droids," Jack said.
Jakoby used the Force and rushed forward to where the droids had been blown up.
"Sir!" Ace exclaimed. "Wait for us!"
Jakoby ran out to the new cavern. A pair of mortars came down on him and the Jedi rolled out of the way just in time.
Jakoby looked to see two thermal detonator battle droids on the top of a steep hill. The gray-colored droids launched another pair of mortars that forced the Jedi to move again.
"You run better than you shoot," one of the thermal detonator battle droids said.
"We defeated you before and we'll do it again," the other droid grenadier taunted.
Obi-wan Jakoby took in what they said and couldn't believe it. "It was you two that destroyed my heavy AT-TE!"
"Yes," the droid grenadier DG-13 answered.
"It was quite easy," TDD-14 added.
"Do you tweezers have any idea how expensive that thing was? I'll be the laughing stock of the Grand Army for losing it to a couple of battle droids!"
"You're about to lose more than just that dumb walker," DG-13 threatened.
"I'm not losing anything. But you two are about to lose your heads!" Jakoby broke into a run towards the two droids. In his haste, Jakoby tripped over an antenna sticking out of the ground and a retail droid sprang up. The retail droid shot at Jakoby, but the Jedi rolled out of the way, into another antenna sticking out of the ground. Another LR-57 combat droid sprang out of the ground. The two droid grenadiers started firing off their mortars again, this time aiming directly at the ceiling. Rocks were broken lose and fell all around the cavern, but Jakoby was able to avoid all tumbling obstacles.
"You idiots are going to bring the whole planet down on us!" Jakoby criticized the droids' attack plan.
"Just on you!"
The clone commandos finally caught up and started shooting at the backsides of the retail droids. The commandos weren't damaging the droids fast enough.
"Tai, droid popper!" Ace ordered.
Tai tossed an EMP grenade between the two retail droids, temporarily stunning them. Jakoby turned around and quickly sliced the LR-57 droids in half.
The commandos ran up to their General, and the group of five charged up the hill to the mortar droids.
But the two thermal detonator battle droids had disappeared.
"Where'd they go?" Tai asked.
"They couldn't have disappeared," Jack exclaimed.
Jakoby reached out with his feelings, letting the Force flow through him. The Jedi walked over to a specific part of a wall and pushed an odd-looking embedded rock. A secret passageway opened up. "This way." The group made their way into the new passage.
"Should we send someone back to tell the others what happened?" Tai asked.
"They'll figure it out," Jakoby said. "We can't lose those battle droids."
As the squad continued walking, the pass way kept getting darker and darker. Kicker stepped on a soil slug. The creature made a high-pitched squeak as it was crushed.
"Be quiet! You want to alert the entire droid army of our presence?" Ace scolded.
"I can't help it. These things are everywhere. Besides, if they were here I'm sure we'd here the clumsy battle droids crushing these things left and right."
The narrow, dark passage opened up to a larger cavern. The group walked along a narrow path that ran parallel to an underground river. "I wonder how deep that is?" Tai asked to no one in particular.
"Let's not find out," Jakoby said.
The new cavern was enormous. The winding river, rock formations, and giant stalactites and stalagmites made the area confusing and obscured the route the droids had taken.
"All right we better stop," Jakoby admitted. "The others won't be able to find us through all this. The group stopped and sent Jack back to get the other clone troopers.
"What do you think will happen to us when the war is over?" Tai asked the group as they waited.
"We provide security for the Republic's citizens," Ace answered.
"How boring. I wanna fight," Kicker declared.
"I'm sure Separatist remnants will pop their heads up now and again," Ace said. "Then you can swat them down."
"It won't be the same as fighting a gigantic droid army."
"Just how long do you want the war to last?" Tai asked.
"Until the end of my life," Kicker honestly answered.
"Lucky you. We're all going to be killed in this war at some point," Ace stated.
"I meant at the end of my natural life. I don't plan on losing to these droid chumps."
"There's nothing natural about our lives. We age at an accelerated rate. We aren't going to last that long," Tai was solemn. "Damn Kaminoans could have at least cured the accelerated aging process when we reached maturity."
"Then we'll have to visit Kamino sometime and persuade our creators to fix that little problem," Kicker said evilly.
"I agree," Jakoby cut in the conversation. "You all deserve that much for your service to the Republic."
It took Jack twenty-five minutes to return with a small army of regular clone troopers. Jakoby and the three other commandos had stayed put the entire time, basically guaranteeing the two droid grenadiers a successful escape.
"Big place…." Gnasher looked around.
The group's clone commander approached Obi-wan Jakoby. It was Lancer, a clone famous for striking three IG lancer droids in a single swipe during a speeder bike joust. Unfortunately, the clone's affinity for speeder bike combat didn't help in Mako Woundo's underground.
"General, we've brought four squads of Kaminoan worker droids," Lancer reported.
"Good, very good. We have some exploring to do."
A pair of mortars flew threw the air and demolished the new Kaminoan worker droids. The clone troopers scattered and took cover where they could.
"If you were smart you would have aimed at me first!" Jakoby yelled at the grenadier droids.
"We did aim at you," a droid yelled back, but Jakoby couldn't determine from where.
"Well, your aim sucks!" Jakoby hollered at the droids.
Suddenly, super battle droids and E4 baron droids started appearing out of nowhere. The clones fought back, but were vastly outnumbered.
Jakoby used the Force to jump up, and came down on a super battle droid, slicing it down the middle. It was a trick he often employed against B2s, as their heads were buried in their torsos, they had no neck and couldn't easily adjust to quick changes in a target's elevation. Clone jet troopers could also exploit the weakness, but it was a favorite maneuver of young, athletic Jedi. The B2s' lack of a neck was one of the things that kept the old B1s in service.
Obi-wan Jakoby started turning the tide against the droids. The clones were now the ones ganging up on the droids rather than the other way around. Mortars began raining down again and Jakoby broke off from the main fight to find their source.
The Jedi found the two droid grenadiers perched atop another hill. The two droids stopped firing their mortar tubes when they realized they were spotted. But instead of running, they started throwing V-1 thermal detonators down at Jakoby.
The Jedi kept evading but the droids kept throwing more explosives. DG-13 and TDD-14 had an entire crate of V-1 thermal detonators with them and weren't about to run out anytime soon. Jakoby couldn't even get near the droids as they kept throwing the grenades.
A clone lieutenant broke off from the main fight to assist the Jedi. "Minecar, get me that crate," Jakoby ordered.
Lieutenant Minecar complied, firing his ascension cable at the crate. It hit, but before the clone could drag it off, DG-13 grabbed onto the box. Minecar and DG-13 were engaged in a game of tug-of-war while TDD-14 continued to throw thermal detonators at Obi-wan Jakoby. But with only one opponent throwing bombs at him, Jakoby was able to make his way closer to the droids.
When he realized how close the Jedi was getting, DG-13 let go of the crate and the contents spilled all over the place. TDD-14 tossed one last thermal detonator onto the floor, causing all the spilled explosives to ignite.
Minecar was able to take cover behind a boulder and Jakoby outran the explosions with the aid of the Force. The two grenadier droids hooked their mortars onto their backs and left through yet another tunnel.
Jakoby kept running, all the way back to the big fight. He ran up behind a baron droid and slashed it apart from behind. Then he realized it had been the last droid.
"Easy, General. They're just droids," Ace said.
"I saw the tunnel the two grenadiers went through. Come on, we have to hurry before they set up defenses again."
"Yes sir. You heard the General boys, get moving," Lancer told the clones.
The small clone army marched towards and through the new tunnel, but was met with a surprise when they came out the other end. There was an enormous cavern with a crystal mountain on the ceiling coming down at a crystal mountain on the bottom. Various artificial light sources lit up the area and made the two mountains glow various colors.
"This is it, Mirror Horizon," Tai said.
"I thought the locals were lying when they mentioned this place," Lancer admitted.
"How is that even possible?" Gnasher asked.
"Enough sightseeing, here they come!" Ace yelled.
B1 and B2 battle droids began firing on the clone intruders. The clone army was quick to break ranks in order prevent becoming a large, easily targeted mass of bodies.
A pilot droid set up a BR-1 repeater and immediately massacred six clone troopers. Jack threw and thermal detonator which Jakoby guided with the Force to the repeater's location.
The clone army began to push the droid defenders back, but the closer they got to the crystal mountain the more battle droids there were.
"They've found us," Umberto complained to the command droid SRAM-13. SRAM-13 had been one of the command droids in charge of the Trade Federation military during the First Battle of Alaris Prime, but he had been defeated by the Wookiees and evicted from the moon. Most recently, OOM-9 had assigned him to protect Mako Woundo, another task at which he was performing poorly.
"We'll pull you back to safety, Mr. President," SRAM-13 answered.
"Safety? We're never safe as long as those clones keep coming after us. And we're running out of places to hide. You will deal with this now," Umberto badgered the command droid.
"I intend to." SRAM-13 waved on a group of droidekas to attack.
A giant subterranean millipede decided to crawl through the firefight. Jakoby and his commandos ran up and took cover behind the meter-tall bug. The droids simply shot the millipede full of holes and the creature screeched and died. The corpse still gave the clones cover.
The clone army used up the supply of EMP grenades stripping the droidekas of their shields, but the destroyer droids were easy targets without them. Safely out of harms way, DG-13 and TDD-14 started launching mortars again when they saw that the droidekas were losing.
Jakoby pulled ahead of the battle and headed straight for Mako Woundo's Head of State.
"Ha ha ha! You're dead Jedi!" Umberto exclaimed.
"What are you laughing about? Even if you do defeat me, how will you take back the planet from the clone army?"
"Shut up!" Umberto shouted. "Kill him," Umberto ordered a Neimoidian brute. Neimoidian brutes were giant beings genetically modified to be dangerous killers. Equipped with a heavy vibro mace, the brute charged at the Jedi.
Jakoby rolled out of the way but the brute followed his movements and swung again. Jakoby was able to block it just in time with both his lightsabers but was knocked back by the sheer force of the strike.
The colossal Neimoidian charged in and missed once again. The brute brought up his giant mace and smashed it into the ground where Jakoby had been a second before. Jakoby rushed in to slash at the Neimoidian's torso but the brute backhanded him before he could make contact.
SRAM-13 and two dwarf spider droids joined in on the fight. The spider droids were in rapid-fire mode and killed many clones. The trio was dangerous enough that they halted the clone army's advance.
"Get the Jedi! Get the Jedi!" Umberto yelled at SRAM-13. The command droid and two dwarf spider droids turned around and headed towards Obi-wan Jakoby.
The fight between the Jedi and the Neimoidian brute was getting dangerously close to DG-13 and TDD-14, but the two droids still continued to fire their mortars at the clone army.
The brute swung his mace again, prompting Jakoby to flip up and decapitate the mighty warrior. As soon as Jakoby was done with the Neimoidian, SRAM-13 and the spider droids started shooting at him. Jakoby deflected their blasts back at them, convincing the spider droids to break off.
SRAM-13 duel-wielded an E-5 blaster rifle and SE-14 blaster pistol, and was convinced one of his blaster bolts would eventually strike the Jedi.
Jakoby leapt into the air and came down at the battle droid, slicing off both his arms at once. An armless SRAM-13 wobbled around for a moment, then Jakoby Force pushed him into DG-13 and TDD-14.
The thermal detonator battle droids got back up and helped their armless commander to his feet. Jakoby moved in to finish them off but was stopped by a chameleon droid that appeared from out of nowhere.
As the spelunker probe droid kept the Jedi busy, SRAM-13, DG-13, TDD-14, and the two dwarf spider droids ran for another tunnel to escape from the battle. President Umberto was separated and couldn't keep up with the retreating droids. Umberto finally stopped when Gnasher pointed a DC-15 shotgun at him. "I give up," he told the clone.
Jakoby destroyed the chameleon droid and was joined by his clone army, which had finished wiping out the droid army. Together, the Republic mass ran after the droids.
However, SRAM-13 and his cohorts escaped through the new tunnel.
"Stop!" Jakoby ordered his army. The clones immediately obeyed.
"They're getting away, sir," Minecar said.
"They like running so much, I think I'll show them a fate worse than destruction at the hands of my marvelous clone army." Jakoby called on the Force with all his might and caused a cave-in, sealing the tunnel through which the droids had gone.
The droid group stopped and turned around to examine Jakoby's handiwork.
"What did that idiot Jedi do?" DG-13 asked.
"Why'd he do that?" TDD-14 was confused.
"Umberto said this way was a dead end," SRAM-13 said.
"We're trapped!" TDD-14 exclaimed.
"How would the Jedi know this way was a dead end?"
The two dwarf spider droids beeped in disapproval.
"What do we do now?"
"We blow ourselves out," SRAM-13 declared.
"I'm out of mortars," TDD-14 said.
"Me too," DG-13 added.
"What about V-1 thermal detonators?"
"Depleted," both grenadiers answered at once.
"Then I guess we have to dig ourselves out."
"But sir, you don't even have any arms, and the spiders can't dig."
"Then you two better get started."
Author's Note: SRAM-13 appeared in Star Wars: Galactic Battlegrounds.