ch. 24 Lance is a no good dirty POV stealer
Lance groans to himself when he feels a tiny little puppy tongue dart in and out of his ear, "Keith, take your mobile q-tip." He commands, burying his face in his pillow to try and escape.
To his surprise, Keith says nothing.
Snatching the puppy up in a big hug to save his ears' virtue, he sits up from his spot on the floor and looks over to Keith's empty bed.
Now he's just confused.
Rover wouldn't be up here trying to get fresh if Keith was literally anywhere in the house. Or Pidge's house.
"Where the fuck did he go, Rover?" He asks, pulling out his phone. It's 10 in the morning, and Keith is gone.
Do you know where your children are?
Because apparently Lance doesn't.
There's also a random text from Pidge asking if Hunk is there, so he stands up and heads downstairs to see Shiro and Matt watching TV on the couch. No one else in the home.
Lance:
Dude I think Keith and Hunk ditched us!
Pidge:
WHAT? Those bitches ! If they went to the
Happy Ham without me there will be hell to pay!
Lance:
I have no clue what that is but I agree 1000%.
Should we head over there?
Pidge:
No, breakfast isn't being served anymore, so Keith
100% isn't gonna be there. There's only one other
place I can think he'd go to. I'm coming over, we're commandeering someone's car.
Lance:
We could just let them be and plan for the trip.
Pidge:
Oh hell no, that little fucker went to Happy Ham.
Revenge will be mine.
Lance accepts her declaration of war and goes to take a quick shower before she gets there. Once she arrives, she demands the keys to Matt's car and they head off. "So, you wanna tell me where we are going?"
"Keith and I have a few favorite spots in town. Happy Ham, a nearby 19th century cemetery, and a decrepit riverside...deck? I guess? That little fuck already went to Happy Ham and he's not so emo that he would go to the cemetery after his uncle died, so he's at that deck. On one hand it's gonna be cold as balls, on the other, it's a truly beautiful location. A great scenery to look at while murdering a traitor ." Pidge grumbles, driving them to a bridge before veering off the road onto a shockingly well plowed gravel path that leads into the woods. She stops short of the actual trees and Lance sees his own car and two figures on a dilapidated deck that juts out of the small hill they are on. "I told ya. No one knows Keith better than me. Not even him." Her look is pointed and Lance immediately knows Hunk and her discussed the same thing they did yesterday.
"Well if we ever need to track him down again I'll make sure to call." Lance rolls his eyes, getting out and heading over to the deck. The closer he gets the nicer it looks, honestly. It's made from stone that is now crumbling, but the part on the hill is still pretty solid and the stone benches look safe enough to sit on.
Well...the ones that are still in tact.
The view is gorgeous, overlooking the river with the perfect view to see for miles. Granted most of the river is frozen over, but the snow and stillness has a calming beauty to it as well.
Without saying a word, he sneaks up behind Keith and Hunk, who are on a bench close to the edge, looking at the river.
"Hel-"
"YOU BREAKFAST HARLOT !" Pidge screams, interrupting him and making Keith jump. "How dare you! Going to the Happy Ham without me!"
Keith looks back at them nervously, "Um...well, you see...we were hungry...and it was 8...so we just…"
"Likely story you Happy Ham tramp !" She huffs, "You strawberry shortcake slut- no, you know what, that one was too wordy. Give me a second."
Keith groans, "She's gonna be at this for a while."
"Hashbrown hussy!"
"Might as well just talk over her." He suggests and Lance laughs a little.
"You OJ HOE-J!" She hisses before Hunk laughs so hard he snorts.
"Oh, man, that was so bad , I love it." He exclaims, earning a self-satisfied grin from Pidge as Keith shivers beside him from the cold, covering his bright red nose with hisweak ass mittens.
"Sooo...what are you two up to?" Lance asks, pulling his scarf off to wrap it around Keith, "And so damn unprepared? It's winter you know." He narrows his eyes at Keith, "You doknow that, right? This stuff, at your feet? It's called snow. It requires a hell of a lot more than a fashionable coat and some cute but useless mittens."
Keith raises a brow as Lance shoves his own thick mittens onto his hands, "You know...you're still in the snow, too."
"Not for long! Get your asses up and get to the cars! We're taking Matt's back and then going to a haunted place for the night!" He demands and Hunk gives him a big grin and thumbs up from behind a clueless Keith, mouthing 'much better' to him. Not so subtly, though, because Pidge totally gives him a look after. He just rolls his eyes. It's not like she doesn't know anyways.
"What if...I sit this one out?" Keith asks, pulling the scarf up to cover more of his face from the wind, and muffling his voice. "Just this once."
" Absolutely not you idiot. Who do you think I found this place for ? Get your butt in a car, get some clothes from your suitcase, and get ready for an adventure that'll knock your socks off! But inside, so it'll be okay. We are gonna go there, stay the night and hunt for ghosts, and then go back to Shiro and Matt'srejuvenated, and there's nothing you can do to get out of it." He can only see Keith's eyes, but he knows he's pouting.
"I think I liked it better when you were overly doting."
"Not gonna happen." Hunk interjects quickly, receiving a glare from Lance.
"I'm still doting on you, just in a different way." Lance clarifies, eyeing Hunk, "If I wanna dote on a friend, I'm gonna dote on a friend. So shut up and take it." Yes, he is taking Hunk's advice, and he's calmed down considerably today, but mostly because Keith has as well. He doesn't look so small and scared. Still exhausted, though. No doubting that.
Regardless of any of that, he doesn't need Hunk thinking he can just tell him what to do. If he wants to dote on Keith, he fucking will. He's just gonna make sure not to cross any lines.
Which he never fucking did in the first place.
Got close, though.
Got... really close.
"Keith's coming with me." Pidge declares, sliding past Lance and grabbing Keith's hand, "We're gonna get Rover and everyone's stuff for the night. You guys check over the equipment and make sure we're ready to go."
"Gotcha!" Lance grins, watching as the two get into Matt's car and drive off. As soon as they're gone, he turns to Hunk, confused. "What were you two doing out here?"
Hunk shrugs, getting up from his spot on the bench, "I honestly couldn't tell you. We grabbed breakfast, like he said, because we couldn't fall back asleep and were hungry, but then he said he wanted to go somewhere else and brought me here."
Lance raises a brow, "Did he...talk about anything?"
Hunk sighs, "Well, when we were at the diner we ran into his ex...Francis? Guess he's, like, single now and decided to hit on Keith. Which, by the way, super rude considering he thought we were together. The asshole even gave him a kiss on the cheek!" He gumbles, "Like, yeah, I'm straight and we aren't together but he thought we were and straight up kissed my boyfriend? Not cool. Anyways, when we got here he filled me in on the dude. How they were together for a while, why they broke up, and how Francis got a girl pregnant and got married. After that, though, he just kinda...stared out at the water silently. Pretty sure he just brought me for a portable heater. Anyways, the moral of the story is we hate Francis."
Lance suddenly feels like his gut is twisting into knots, "Y-yeah. Fuck Francis…"
"Seriously !" Hunk exclaims, heading to the car blissfully unaware, "It's all good, though. I put him in his place. Gave Keith is big ol' kiss on the forehead."
Lance laughs a little, slightly relieved, but also slightly annoyed. He understands them joking around like that means nothing, hell he jokes with Hunk like that all the time, but right now? After he put some kind of momentary ban on Lance touching Keith?
"You alright, Lance?" Hunk asks, frowning, "Hey, if you don't want me kissing him just say the word. It's all in jest, but I totally get it."
"If I can't hug him, you can't kiss him." Lance blurts out and Hunk gives him a gentle smile.
"I understand." He assures, "Never again."
"Thank you." Lance mumbles, "And also...we're keeping him away from Francis."
Hunk laughs, wrapping an arm around Lance's shoulders and pulling him closer, "Absolutely. Fuck francis!"
"Yeah, fuck Francis ."
With that, the two head back to Shiro and Matt's place, bringing in all their equipment to look over and double check before they get ready to record.
"Okay," Lance begins, grabbing Keith by the shoulders and leading him into the living room as Pidge and Hunk set up the equipment in there, "You sit down riiiiiigghhhht here." He pushes Keith into a spot on the cushion before Rover jumps into his lap, "Excellent, and I will sit right here." Plopping down next to him, Lance holds up a folder filled with some pictures he printed using Matt's computer. "Ready guys?"
"Yup, we're all set." Pidge assures him.
"Ready...and…." Hunk points to them as the red light comes on.
"Hello everyone!" Lance exclaims, "First, allow us to properly introduce you to our newest member, the dirty fuzzball you met before, Rover! "
Rover perks up at his name.
"We didn't name him." Keith quickly adds.
"Yes, our tech girl Pidge did. Rest assured, we both have much better naming abilities."
"Although, to be fair, better than the name Rover is setting the bar pretty low." Keith teases, earning himself a tube of chapstick to the head.
"Keep talking shit, boy, I will beat your ass on camera!" Pidge warns from behind the lens.
"She's so violent," Lance muses, looking to Keith, "Why would you raise her like this?"
"Hey, she was fucked in the head before we met, thank you very much." He huffs, before holding Rover up, "Anyways, you all met him in the Arizona video, and the one following, of his first bath. Now it's time for a real introduction. He is a blue merle Pomeranian, previously owned by a homeless man who has since passed away. We don't know where the guy got him, but when we found him he was about 6 weeks old, he's 9 weeks old now. He's a very happy little guy who loves everyone and you can bet anywhere we can bring him, we will."
"Like today's location!" Lance chimes in. "We are currently in Keith and Pidge's hometown, that you don't need to know, and are gonna head out to The Shanley Hotel. It's an admittedly far drive from here, but, you know, why the fuck not."
"I could give you twelve reasons why the fuck not right now." Keith pipes in, going ignored by Lance.
"Now, I normally would give you the history once we are there, but this time we are gonna do it in the comfort of Keith and Pidge's brothers' house." He begins, "Now, The Shanley Hotel is said to be the most haunted place in New York State," Opening the little folder in his lap, he holds up a picture of the Hotel from the 1900s, that Rover promptly sniffs from behind. "It-" He begins, only to have Rover jump on the picture and tumble down with it onto his lap, " Really ? Keith, control your puppy." Lance groans to the laughing boy beside him.
"But Lance, he's helping. He is telling you to move onto the next picture."
"N-! Yo-! Ugghhh!" Lance scoops the puppy up, smothers him in kisses and then shoves him into Keith's arms, "Hold that."
Keith just looks at him with a wide smile, the first truly joyous one he's had since everything went down, and Lance can't help but smile back, "I'll do my best."
"You better." Lance warns, before pulling up his next picture. "In 1845 Thomas Ritch built a hotel, giving those from the city a nice and quiet place to escape to. Thanks to the nearby railroad, it got pretty good business. In 1885 he sold it to a new owner, Mr. Hungerford. His doors were open to the same clientele as Ritch had, but he also hosted a gentleman's club."
Pidge raises a brow from behind the camera, "Dude are you taking us to a whore house?"
"It's not one now, remember?" Hunk offers from next to her, "It's a hotel now."
"...Better not be using the same beds…" Pidge grumbles.
" .Ways. " Lance begins, glaring at them both, "It passed through a couple more owners before it was burned down by a quickly spreading fire that started at a nearby house."
"Oh thank god." Pidge sighs in relief.
"Pidge!" Lance scolds.
"I'm just saying, for the record and in the future; I do not wanna sleep in a whore house." She clarifies and Keith shrugs.
"Every hotel is a bit of a whore house, if you think about it."
"Would you both -!" Lance takes a deep breath before continuing, "In 1985 the Shanley hotel was built where the hotel had burned down previously, in 1906 it was purchased by James Louis Shanley, shown here with his family. There was a small incident in 1907, where a man named Charles Byrnes fell from a window, but he survived." He lowers the group picture and lifts a new one of two little girls, "In 1911, true tragedy struck for the first time. Sadly, it wouldn't be the last, either."
"Dun dun dunnnn." Keith mocks and Lance gasps.
"Keith ! People died!" He scolds, receiving a pretty half hearted apology before going on, " Anyways , in 1908, Shanley added onto the hotel, building a bowling alley, a barbershop, a billiards room and second floor apartments. In 1910 they opened the barbershop and hired a personal barber, Peter Greger, who lived with his wife Mary and daughters, Rosie and Florence, on the second floor. When Rosie was three, she wandered to a nearby farm across the street and fell down a well, drowning. They say her ghost still wanders the halls, and can be heard playing and giggling."
"Now, you see, that's…" Keith groans, "Who the fuck is looking away from their three year old long enough for them to reach a different residence and fall down a fucking well. That's just straight up bad parenting."
"Keith! You can't say that! Three year olds are fast little shits. It's not their fault."
"I don't know, Lance. I've seen three year olds. I've even wrangled up a few in my day, and none of them are all that good at mobility yet."
Lance tries to imagine Keith chasing a bunch of three year olds and forces himself to surpress the thought because it's too fucking cute . "Well, you're not a parent. You weren't there, either, so you can't judge."
"Too late."
Lance groans, "On the topic of parents, on January 6, 1912, James' wife Beatrice gave birth to their first daughter, Kathleen. Sadly, the baby girl didn't live to reach six months of age. She went on to have two more children, James Shanley, Jr who died before even reaching four and a half months and William Shanley who made it to a little over nine months. Her heart was broken by these losses, of course, and many guests claim to have witnessed a woman in period clothing wandering through the hallways, her sadness heavy in the areas she's seen. In life she was also known for her fragrant perfume and even now people claim to smell a glorious scent that many believe to accompany Mrs. Shanley's spirit.
Her suffering doesn't end there, however. When they moved to this hotel from New York City, Beatrice's sister Esther and her husband John Faughman joined them with their two daughters. Sadly, Esther died in 1918 of influenza, leaving Beatrice to care for her girls."
"Damn, poor woman couldn't catch a break." Keith mutters and Lance nods.
"Her life was truly tragic. Now, after little Rosie died, the barber and his family had actually moved out, and once the 18th amendment came into play, James decided to turn the family's old apartment into a bordello filled with ladies who would please the men that entered and that sweet, sweet alcohol no longer allowed."
"God damnit Lance, what did I just say!?" Pidge groans.
"God damnit, Pidge! If you interrupt one more time-!" Lance cuts himself off, because, really, he's got nothing to threaten her with. "Ugh , you're the worst . In 1932, there was a raid where the alcohol was taken and James and his business partner were arrested, but thanks to Beatrice being a friend to Eleanore Roosevelt, who was also a frequent guest of the hotel, they got away without even a slap on the wrist, really." He shuffles through his papers before holding up a picture of James, "In 1937, James passed away after suffering a massive heart attack, and Beatrice sold the hotel to Allen H. Hazen, who ran it until he passed away in 1971. In the next couple of decades it changed ownership a few times and even opened a tavern before closing down in 1991 for around 14 years. In 2005 Salvatore Nicosa bought it and worked on it from 2007 until his death in 2016, bringing it back to life for a new set of guests. There's many spirits that haunt this place, including a feline one, so get ready guys, cause this is gonna be exciting !"
"Oh boy." Keith deadpans before Rover jumps out of his hands and divebombs Lance's lap, scattering the pictures all over the place.
AN:
Lance, ya gotta stop taking other people's chapters, bro.
also im sorry rover last chaptwr i forgot you were a boy lawl
so first off: Happy Ham is based off a diner i used to go to called the Happy Cow. All the same except cow themed and I will forever be sad it closed down and turned into an auction building.
second: last chapter was garbage, so here is this! getting back into the ghost part of this story after forever, lol. Im gonna try and put Pidge's up as well before October ends abd i would liiiiike to have keith one up by then, too, but we are just gonna stick to Pidge for now. Its a 3(possibly 4)-for-1 Halloween special!