We are so close to the premier and I'm literally bouncing in my seat. The first couple of episodes (it seems) will be heart-wrenching, but I'm hoping for a beautiful resolution. I've accepted the writers will have drama for the sake of drama, but I'm holding out hope they will keep Upstead in character.

So, without further ado, here's the penultimate chapter.

Rated [M]

Hailey

One year later…

"Good morning."

I wake up to Jay's arms wrapping around my waist, his hand rubbing up and down my back in small circles. Warm lips caress my skin, placing light pecks here and there. Every muscle in my body relaxes at the sweet contact. I smile with my eyes shut, enjoying these few stolen moments.

Some might say my life is predictable, but predictability suits me just fine now. I get up, I go to work and then come home. I have friends who are like family, and I have a life and work partner who makes my world brighter, sweeter even.

It's my rut and I like it.

Back in my other life – and it's difficult to even imagine now – everything was so chaotic. I wasn't living; I was just existing. And what a depressing existence it was. Every day, I hoped that my grief would rise up from my heart and disappear like a balloon into the sky. But that didn't happen; instead, the pain and the shame festered inside my chest until they became toxic.

In retrospect, Jay spilling the beans about the miscarriage at the bar was a watershed moment in my life. It was painful, but it forced me to confront my past and deal with the trauma and grief I had carried around for years. It's been a long road with many ups and downs since then. But I've found myself happier, healthier, and hopefully wiser than I was a year ago.

I turn to face Jay and the early morning light casts a soft glow on his freckled skin, each dot beckoning me to run my fingers over it.

"What time is it?" I ask.

"Time to just feel." The gruff tone of his voice vibrates over my skin.

I laugh softly. "Is that right?"

"It is," he hums, slipping his arms around my waist and tugging me closer. My body reacts with a wave of heat. It spreads from my stomach through my limbs to my hands and feet.

"It's a good way to start the day," he adds, tracing his finger down my arm, causing goosebumps to race across my skin. "See?" he says, looking rather smug about it

I roll my eyes and bury my head against him.

"It's just a natural reaction," he whispers against my skin, eliciting even more goosebumps.

I glance up at him – he's grinning like he just won the lottery.

"You seem real bummed about it," I say, turning my back to him and hugging my pillow. I shiver when he kisses my back. The softness of his lips makes me sigh with pleasure.

"Yeah, really hurts a guy's ego."

He brushes the hair away from my neck, placing small kisses there. I close my eyes as his hands roam my body. I can feel his smile against my skin.

"Hailey?"

"Mmm…"

"Are you holding your breath?"

"Uhh…"

"Breathe."

He moves his hands over my stomach, then down lower and my body involuntarily arches against him. It scares me sometimes how desperate I am for him. When his mouth lands on mine in a long, soft, drugging kiss, my fingers curl against the sheets. Just like every other time, I half sigh into a wide river of languid need while my other half sizzles with a desire that crackles and fizzes and demands satiation. I like it when we're like this. Connected. Overwhelmed. Eager.

After removing all the air from my lungs, Jay pulls his lips back the tiniest amount. His blue-green eyes meet mine, searching before he leans over and takes my lips again in a soft, gentle kiss.

"What do you think we should do with our weekend off?" he asks.

"This?" I suggest, only half-jokingly.

He grins and sinks his teeth into my bottom lip. "You won't hear me protest. I will gladly do this forever."

Forever.

There it is. With just one word, and my heart flutters, and hope sinks in. Slowly I take in a long inhale through my nose. Every muscle and bone in my body becomes mush, sagging with this small declaration of forever.

"I'll take forever with you," I reply.

Our breaths mix as we both let our words hang between us, then his lips are back on mine and his hands are threading into my hair as he delivers the kind of kiss that sizzles. For the next few minutes, Jay does nothing but make me feel. In fact, for the past year, he has done nothing except make me feel seen, loved, and safe. He makes me feel like I can do anything – like I'm invincible.

Later, we lay for a while in the snug afterglow, feeling lucky, and sated, and very reluctant to part. I think I whine when he eventually pulls away.

"As much as I would love to just stay like this and wreck the sheet even more," Jay begins. "I think we should do something."

"Like what?" I ask.

"What if we drove up to the cabin?" he suggests.

I draw back and stare up at him. "What, today?"

"Yeah, we can spend the night and drive back tomorrow."

"You know it's still fifty degrees outside, right?"

"We can get the fire going, and use the hot tub," he suggests, eyebrows wiggling. "It will be a nice change in scenery. We've been working nonstop this past week; I think we can use a small getaway."

I don't disagree. "You know what? Let's do it."

"Okay," he replies with a smile that splits his face in two. "Let's pack then."

We throw a few items inside our travel bags and hit the road, stopping only to buy groceries. The drive-up feels nostalgic. Some of my happiest memories were made at the cabin. There is a palpable current of energy in the air that is both breathtaking and electrifying, especially when you're away from everything and everyone. It makes you feel weightless and free. Like anything is possible.

When we arrive, I feel so happy, but beat. The fatigue of the past work week has finally caught up with me and I feel like my body weighs three hundred pounds.

"I'm so tired I can't decide what I want more: the hot tub, food, or bed."

"I can help you make that taxing decision," Jay says, a sexy twinkle sparkling in his eyes.

"Can you, now?"

"Oh yeah."

His smile will never cease to make my stomach flip over. It should be declared a weapon of mass destruction.

Grasping my hand, Jay leads me inside. Not much has changed since I was last here. The large room with the fireplace is still furnished with crude furniture, including a solid oak table and tall wooden chairs. The open kitchen is exactly as I remember, and it still holds that warm-cozy feeling I loved so much.

"Not much has changed, huh?"

"I guess not," he says, pulling the sliding glass door open to the private deck. He then walks over to the hot tub, pulls back the cover, and starts the Jets.

"Did I make the right decision?" he asks with a grin before pulling off his shirt and shucking his pants. I don't even bother trying to stifle the low appreciative wow that rolls out of me. I will never tire of being able to see, touch and taste his body.

"What about our bags and the groceries left in the car?"

"They can wait," he says as he lifts off my shirt, pulling it easily over my head. He pauses, staring at my lacy red bra. "I love it, but as much as I want to admire you, the jets are bubbling and we're wasting electricity. The bra has to go."

"If it's in the interest of the environmental sustainability…" I undo my bra and attempt a sexy shimmy to wiggle it off my shoulder, but the move is inelegant and I end up giggling. "I'm so tired I have no clue what I'm doing."

"It doesn't look that way to me," Jay says appreciatively. "Keep going."

Laughing, I twirl my bra, step in close, and place it around his neck, pulling his head down to mine. We pull away and jump into the tub. The warm water bubbles around us, and Jay pulls me into his lap. He begins rubbing my shoulders, his fingers pressing and kneading, releasing the knots of tension that the last week of work has put there. Under his expert ministrations, my muscles loosen and my shoulders drop.

He then massages my scalp before moving methodically down my neck along my spine. His thumbs dip between each of my vertebrae with subtle pressure until they reach my hips. Suddenly his hands are doing amazing things to my thighs and every muscle in my body sags with bliss. I lean against him for support, my back against his chest, and let my eyelids flutter close.

I forget everything, feeling relaxed and warm.

He drops his head to my neck, his lips sucking and soothing, his tongue flicking and teasing my hot, wet skin until every cell vibrates with lust. My breathing hitches as his hand moved to my front, massaging my belly in concentric circles, and then he is cupping my breasts with a pressure that is neither tender nor rough.

I hear a low, guttural sound and realize they are coming from me. They are moans of delight as slow, delicious pleasure meanders through every nerve ending. His fingers then find my nipples, and a sharp bolt of need dives deep, imploding every languid feeling. With a throaty cry, I swing around fast to face him, my body aching and impatient for him. He smells of musk, testosterone, and sex, and his eyes are every shade of blue-green just like the lake water.

"You good?" he asks.

"Yes, please."

Panting, my mouth finds his – wide and hot and greedy – and I claim it with my own impatience, welcoming the flood of his hungry need. I want to wrap myself around him so our skin overlaps and no space exists between us. Lifting my arms up around his neck, I link my fingers and wrap my legs around his waist until all of me is touching him.

Without breaking the kiss that threatens to suck the air from my lungs, his arms move underneath me, gripping my butt, and then he lifts me over him.

A soft, high-pitched, involuntary squeal leaves my mouth as he slowly lowers me gently onto his cock, opening me bit by bit until I'm filled to the hilt.

"Oh," I breathe out, tightening around him and feeling him everywhere.

"Is that a good oh or an I'm not sure oh?"

"Good. Really good."

He smiles a secret sort of smile as if he knows something I don't.

"Okay then."

Watching my face, he rocks into me and I rock back. I expect frantic, hot, bone-shaking, sex, but this is gentle. No, that isn't exactly the word, it was – Oh God, I have no clue how to describe it except it is like the tantalizing opening of a present wrapped in layer upon layer of fine handmade paper.

The orgasm doesn't explode unexpectedly; instead, it creeps up on me – delicately, deliciously, daringly – until a ripple becomes a riptide. As it pulls me into the pleasure realms, my fingers dig into his shoulders and I scream his name.

Jay follows – his entire body tensing and shuddering against mine, his chest heaving. We sink into each other, waiting for our breathing to slow, and for a moment neither of us say a word.

Jay moves first. "My legs have gone to sleep."

"Sorry." I roll away from him, but he grabs and pulls me in close.

"Don't be sorry." He kisses my shoulder. "That was amazing."

When we both feel recharged, Jay stands up, shuts off the jets, and hauls me to my feet. He flicks a towel off the waiting pile and wraps it around me like I'm a kid. Then he wraps a towel around his waist and we both pad towards the kitchen.

After Jay hauls the grocery bags inside, I sift through them, then look over my shoulder, seeing him standing tall in the doorway, looking damp and delectable.

"What are you making?" he asks.

"Pasta?" I say, lifting a box of uncooked spaghetti.

He takes that as his cue and sweeps into the kitchen, lifting me onto the counter. He pours me a glass of wine and says, "Drink this, while I'll handle that."

I have no choice but to comply.

Later, with full bellies, we sit in front of the fireplace enjoying its warmth from the glowing embers, which crackle now and again.

"You got big plans for us tomorrow?" I ask, feeling my eyes growing heavy with sleep. "You said you wanted us to do something?"

"Being here is already doing something. So, we can do as much, or as little as you want," he says, pressing his lips into my hair. "But how about we call it a night?"

"No, I'm good here."

He responds by running his fingers through my hair and pulling my head closer so that he can place a kiss on my lips.

"C'mon, let's go to bed. You're already falling asleep," he insists.

When I nuzzle further into his chest, he picks me up and carries me to the bedroom. He gently lays me on the soft bed and pulls the sheet over me. I watch him turn off the lights and return to the bed. He climbs in and pulls me close, then stares into my eyes. I look at him and we both smile, and I lay my head on his chest and listen to his heartbeat. I am so happy to be back here. Snuggling against Jay's warm body, I close my eyes and immediately fall asleep.

x

The next day the sky is clear and the sun is shining. It's not officially summer, but it's warm enough to sit on the deck and enjoy the day. After breakfast, we go for a hike and then take the canoes out on the lake. Jay suggests we take a swim, naked, of course. Despite knowing that my opposition to his idea is meaningless, I still shoot him down. Only for him to tackle me into the lake's icy waters. The swim leads to more love-making and afterward, we spend time warming up in the hot tub.

After sitting in the frothing bubbles for several minutes, I say, "Coming here was a really good idea."

Jay smiles, kisses my shoulder, and hugs me close. "I know."

I laugh and roll my eyes. "We should probably start packing up. It will be dark soon."

I'm about to get up, but Jay stops me, grinning deviously and counters, "We still have time. Now, where was I?"

His lips are back on my shoulders and I giggle, playfully poking him in the chest.

"How about this," he begins. "I will run to the store to grab a few things, while you take a shower. We'll eat and then we hit the road. Does that sound good?"

"We don't need more food. We still have leftover pasta from yesterday."

"I feel like eating something different," he says.

"Okay," I shrug.

I hop in the shower and when I'm done, I towel off and put on a pair of jeans, a shirt, and a sweater. When Jay returns, he takes a shower too, then we begin packing.

"So, what are we eating?" I ask.

"Getting hungry?"

"Famished," I say.

He smiles. "C'mon then, I want to show you something first."

"What?"

"C'mon," he says, taking my hand.

He leads me down the deck, then down a slope, and there, hidden under an arching branch of two trees overlooking the lake, is a table set for two with white linens, flowers, and a bottle of champagne in a bucket.

"I thought we could have one last celebration."

"Is this why you wanted to run to the store?" I ask.

He flashes me his shy smile. "Maybe."

"I love it," I say. "So, what are we celebrating?" I ask, pointing to the champagne bottle.

"Celebrating us, being here, together."

"I love that." I push up on my toes and grab him by the neck to pull his head down. I kiss him softly, letting the moment linger, and when I pull away, the space between us is practically nonexistent. "Did you have this planned all along?"

"Maybe," he replied coyly again.

Jay pulls out a chair for me, and I sit down. He takes a seat across from me and reaches for my hand. Before he can speak, I have to ask, "When did you have time to do this? I was in the shower for like 10 minutes."

He shrugs. "It's nothing fancy. Just a table, chairs, and sandwiches."

I chuckle. "I'm good with sandwiches."

He hands me one and we sit in silence munching away while watching the sun slowly set on the horizon. The air is crisp and clean and redolent with the spicy scent from the evergreens surrounding us. I look at Jay and see his smile outlined by the fading sun. His eyes glitter and I feel a grin spreads across my own face.

I reach out and touch his forearm. His warmth radiates through the soft cotton of his shirt, tickling my fingertips. It feels good – he feels good – and my heart instantly kicks up.

Our gaze meets and he smiles.

Jay's smiles are practically etched in my brain – ironic smiles, smug smiles, bemused smiles, teasing smiles, and the occasional shy smile – but this one is different. It's guarded and uncharacteristically nervous.

He takes my hand in his, brings it to his lips, and kisses my knuckles. "Thank you for being here."

I smile. "I forgot how much I love this place."

Jay exhales, relaxing. He squeezes my hand and gives me a relieved look. "I forgot how much I loved it, too. I didn't know how much I missed being here."

He scoots his chair over so we are sitting side by side, looking out at the lake. He wraps his arms around me and I lean into him. His love circles me and flows into me, and an unwanted tear slips out of my eye, followed by another.

I quickly wipe them away and clear my throat. "When was the last time you were here?"

"The last time you were here," he answers softly. "Haven't been back."

I look up at him, understanding. We made a lot of memories here.

We fall into a comfortable, cozy silence, filled with bliss and awestruck by mother nature's sunset spectacle – a kaleidoscope of color.

"Hailey?"

I lift my head to look up at him. "Yes?"

He smiles tenderly and touches a wisp of my hair, gazing into my eyes. "You know I'm crazy in love with you, right?"

I straighten up and turn to face him, noting the solemn tone in his voice. "I'm crazy in love with you, too," I say, feeling something rising—a sensation stirring, a fluttering feeling inside my chest.

Jay captures my lips, kissing like there is no tomorrow, kissing me as if he will never get enough like he wants a lifetime of this.

Forever.

He pulls back and smiles, a big, wide over-the-moon kind of boyish smile.

"Hailey, I don't want to wait anymore. I know this might be too soon, but you're the only one for me. You understand me, you love me for who I'm and, most importantly, you make me strive to be a better person… a better man."

His tender gaze is my undoing and pesky tears mist in my eyes again. I know where this is headed and adrenaline begins humming through my veins, blood singing in my ears, as the last streaks of sunlight disappear into the lake.

"I love you more than I can put into words, and I don't want to live my life without you. You're the love of my life, Hailey."

Jay pulls a small box from this pocket and my breath catches as he gets down on one knee. "Hailey Anne Upton, would you make me the happiest man on earth and marry me?"

The air leaves my lungs and my hands cup over my parted lips. Tears fill my eyes, the kinds stirred from a skipping heart and stolen breath. I can't stop the waterworks because I feel loved – truly and unconditionally by Jay.

"So?" he asks, soaking in my overcome expression. "What do you say?"

I drop my hands off my mouth. My heart is racing, nearly floating out of me.

"Yes, Jay. I'll marry you."

Jay places the ring on my finger and I take his handsome face in my hands, crashing my lips with his. His hands skim up my sides and lace through my hair. Pulling him against me, my arms draw him closer still, finger kneading the muscles on his back, up and over his shoulders, down his arms and back again. When we break for air we're gasping, our chest rising and falling in unison, lips swollen and red, breathing heavy, and heartbeat sputtering a mile a minute. As he leans into me and I arch into him, every physical indicator declares, I want you, I want to marry you.

His hand encases my cheeks. "I love you."

There is a beautiful glean in his eyes, and I'm pleased to be the one who put it there. I want to always make him this happy.

"I love you, too."

He inhales, his forehead pressing to mine. I thread my fingers through his soft hair. We kiss again. This one is sensual and tender, and as our lips pull back in a breath, we giggle like two teenagers – happiness bubbling up from our throats. We continue laughing, unable to stop the flow of emotions because this feels so good, so right.

Forever.

Later, we open the champagne bottle, the cork popping, and bubbles spilling out. We toast to our future, and at a second chance at our happy-ever-after.

Thank you for reading. Reviews? Epilogue coming Wednesday.