A/N
I've actually been pretty motivated to write this! I hope you enjoy!
Chapter 4: Pining Heart
Ravenpaw had been to a Gathering once before. It was strange to see all the clans conversing like old friends, but it was nothing special. So why was he so worked up over this one?
"Someone's in a hurry," Duskpaw commented.
Ravenpaw was quickly going over the herb stores, making sure everything was in place and sorted. "I'm just being careful," he said. "See, if I hadn't then I would've let this sorrel go mixed in with the dock."
Duskpaw rolled her eyes. "You know I won't let anyone in, Ravenpaw." She had been forced to stay at camp for the Gathering for starting a border skirmish by marking on the ThunderClan side of the border.
"You'd be coming with me if you weren't so petty," Ravenpaw huffed, turning to face his sister. "It's your own hubris."
"Hey, if I gotta miss a Gathering just for sticking it to those squirrel fart-faces, then I will," Duskpaw snorted. "You get to go to every Gathering, unless you really piss off Hazelstripe."
"Look on the bright side," Ravenpaw said. "Fart-faces was the most tame swear you've said all day."
"Shut it, you fox-dung," Duskpaw scoffed, but there was a grin on her face.
"Oh, I take it back," Ravenpaw snickered.
"Keep being mean to me and I'll feed you deathberries in your sleep," Duskpaw teased.
"Are you ready, Ravenpaw?" Hazelstripe called, sticking his head in the den. "Snowstar is leading everyone to the Marsh Island now."
"Coming!" Ravenpaw said back. He turned to Duskpaw. "Remember, if anyone asks for anything, ask Sunfall. She'll probably know what to do."
He left the den before Duskpaw could answer, catching up to his mentor and walking at his side. "You've been in a good mood today," Hazelstripe commented. "Whitemuzzle only complained about your attitude once."
Ravenpaw flicked his tail. "I can be in good spirits every now and then. It's the Gathering after all."
"If you held on to that feeling, maybe you could be a little more gentle with your patients," Hazelstripe said.
Ravenpaw held back a groan. "Hazelstripe, can we not have this conversation again? Please." He was tired of getting lectured about his bad attitude.
The light brown tabby sighed. "Okay."
ShadowClan was closest to the Marsh Island, so it wasn't too long of a walk until the evergreens and pine trees became scarce and made way for the swampy clearing. Thick water lapped at the muddy ground, foaming with bubbles sparkling under the moonlight.
Ravenpaw followed Hazelstripe across the rocks to the dry land in the center of the marsh. The clan scents were stale, and they hadn't seen any other clans yet.
"Looks like we're early," Spiderwhisker said. She had been made a warrior a quarter-moon ago, along with her brothers, Snailspots and Eaglestorm. Spiderwhisker was widely regarded as a beautiful she-cat. Duskpaw had complained that all the toms were paying attention to the new warrior now because of her beauty. Ravenpaw couldn't see it. Sure, she was kind and always welcoming, but the concept of looking at a she-cat and instantly being able to tell if she was pretty or not baffled him.
"We often are," Pebblepelt said, looking about. "They'll be here soon."
Tigerpaw stuck close to her mentor, practically attached to his flank. Pebblepelt looked like he wanted to shake her off, but with no other apprentices for her to mingle with besides Ravenpaw and Mistpaw, he let her stay.
Ravenpaw was in the middle grooming his face and whiskers just when a grassy scent slowly filled the air. Fresh and warm, with the distinct smell of wildflowers; WindClan.
Sparrowstar was leading her clan across the rocks. Her long legs made leaping across them look easy, and soon she was on the dry land touching noses with Snowstar in respect. Ravenpaw found himself scanning the crowd with an eagerness he'd never felt. His heart skipped when he spotted him.
Runningpaw, the WindClan medicine apprentice. Just as clumsy and nervous as he had been the first time they met, he tripped and fell into the shallow water and quickly scrambled onto dry land. His mentor, Cloverwing, stopped to greet Hazelstripe and the two of them gathered in a thicket of roots where the medicine cats would meet.
Ravenpaw's eyes followed Runningpaw across the clearing, and it wasn't until he made it halfway across that he turned to look at Ravenpaw, probably having felt his eyes on him. Runningpaw glanced over to where their mentors were and then back to the ShadowClan cat and began trotting over to him.
A bit panicked, Ravenpaw quickly smoothed down his ruffled fur and waited for Runningpaw to approach him.
"Hey, there," Runningpaw said.
"Hey yourself," Ravenpaw said. Was that too rude? He thought to himself.
"Shouldn't we be over there?" Runningpaw flicked an ear in the direction of their mentors.
"We're only apprentices. We can still mingle with the other clan cats," Ravenpaw pointed out.
"I guess you're right," Runningpaw meowed. He still looked nervous.
"This is your first Gathering, isn't it?" Ravenpaw asked.
Runningpaw nodded.
"Just relax," Ravenpaw said. "It's pretty casual anyways. Mostly harmless clan flirting and conversation."
Just as Ravenpaw spoke, there was a rise in volume over where Spiderwhisker had attracted the attention of three WindClan toms. Runningpaw rolled his eyes as if it was usual behavior for those toms.
"Isn't it silly?" Runningpaw scoffed.
Ravenpaw watched as Spiderwhisker toyed with the WindClan toms. "What is?"
"Flirting," Runningpaw said, as if it was obvious. "Imagine seeing a she-cat and wanting to be her mate forever. That's so weird to me."
Ravenpaw's chest felt tight. He almost didn't ask the question he wanted to ask, but it was as if the words left his mouth before he even thought about it.
"What about a tom?"
Runningpaw blinked. "Um- h- huh?" He stuttered. He sounded confused, but Ravenpaw had a feeling he had heard the first time. He just wanted to make sure he didn't misunderstand.
Ravenpaw looked to the side cooly. "You know. If you looked at a tom, and wanted to be his mate forever. And you were also a tom."
Runningpaw looked caught off guard. "I don't think you can do that. Can you? I mean- there isn't some rule against it?" It was something he had clearly never thought about before.
"There isn't," Ravenpaw said. "Two elders in my clan are both toms. And mates. Well, they argue a lot, but they wouldn't share a nest if they didn't love each other."
"I don't think you can look at someone and just love them at first sight," Runningpaw said. He was looking back over at Spiderwhisker. The toms were still enamoured with her. "You have to get to know them."
"What about love at first conversation?" Ravenpaw asked. "They do something or say something and it's so endearing you just can't get them out of your head." He suddenly felt exposed. "Or, you know, whatever. Something like that."
Runningpaw started to reply, but stopped when the scent of another clan came in on the wind. A salty and fishy aroma followed the RiverClan cats as some swam in, and others jumped across the stones. Seedcloud was there, fur wet, but he didn't look drowned. Following him closely was a little blue-grey she-cat, still holding onto her kitten fluff. He made a beeline for Hazelstripe and Cloverwing, who greeted him politely.
Just moments later, masked by the scent of RiverClan arriving, came SkyClan with Alderstar, their newly made leader, leading them into the clearing. Honeypool glanced at Runningpaw and Ravenpaw for a lingering moment, before she too joined the other medicine cats for small talk.
The three WindClan toms who were hitting on Spiderwhisker dispersed to scout a new target, seemingly either bored of her or she finally rejected them.
"How shallow," Ravenpaw scoffed. "They know nothing will ever happen because it's against the code."
"They do it because it's against the code," Runningpaw said. "I think it's a thrill."
"The code doesn't apply to us the same way, you know," Ravenpaw pointed out. "We can do whatever we want."
"Within reason, of course," Runningpaw added. "Just because those rules don't apply to us doesn't mean we're lawless."
"Yeah, we're not allowed mates or friends basically," Ravenpaw scoffed. "Not that any she-cat remotely interests me. But to completely outlaw any meaningful relationships seems unfair."
Runningpaw stayed silent.
"I mean, how does Hazelstripe expect me to care about cats if I'm not allowed to get close to anyone?" Ravenpaw growled.
The sickly sweet, sappy scent of ThunderClan came finally, with Milkpool and Fallowpaw following dutifully behind their leader, Owlstar. The two medicine apprentices watched as the ThunderClanners began to mingle with the other three clans, and their fellow medicine cats met with them underneath the upturned roots.
Ravenpaw sighed, letting his frustrations go. "Sorry. We should probably join them now."
For a moment, he thought he felt Runningpaw's tail brush his flank. It felt comforting, but when he looked, Runningpaw looked away. He pushed the thought away.
"Making friends?" Cloverwing chuckled as the two apprentices trotted up. Hazelstripe had his eyes carefully trained on Ravenpaw.
Runningpaw swept in gracefully. "Ravenpaw was just telling me about all he's learned. You must be happy to have such a smart apprentice, Hazelstripe."
Ravenpaw himself was a terrible liar. It was written all over his face. But Runningpaw? He lied to their mentors like it was second nature, complete sincerity on his face as he showered Ravenpaw in praise and admiration.
Hazelstripe's judging look softened and he almost looked pleased. "I'm glad you two are getting along," the ShadowClan tom said. "Ravenpaw could use a friend like you."
Runningpaw looked a bit embarrassed, his anxious nature returning to his features. "Runningpaw still has a lot to learn," Cloverwing said. "Maybe I'll send him to ShadowClan sometime to learn the herbs that grow there."
"That sounds like a nice idea, Cloverwing," Hazelstripe agreed. "Send him our way any time."
Runningpaw? In our camp? In the medicine den? Ravenpaw glanced at the WindClan tom. He looked bashfully delighted at the idea. StarClan, help me.
"Runningpaw, Ravenpaw," Seedcloud spoke up. "This is Pondpaw. She's my apprentice now."
The little she-cat looked bashful but she flicked an ear in acknowledgement. Seedcloud bowed his head. "Forgive her, she's not too vocal."
"It's nice to meet you, Pondpaw," Runningpaw said kindly.
Ravenpaw bowed his head to Pondpaw slightly, her round green eyes staring at him curiously. It was obvious this was all incredibly new to her.
Owlstar climbed onto the dead, burned tree trunk first, with the other four leaders following. A hush fell over the clearing slowly as cats realized the Gathering was about to begin.
Owlstar spoke first, the eldest of all the leaders. "ThunderClan has recovered from yellowcough successfully in the past moon and we are strong once more. Sandpaw and Cherrypaw stand before us tonight as Sandheart and Cherrynose."
The ThunderClan leader paused, waiting for the cats to cheer for the new warriors before she continued. "Sadly, Mallowheart has passed due to yellowcough, and I have appointed Ivystripe in her place."
A young, agile looking grey tabby tom puffed his chest out as Owlstar finished. He looked competent, albeit nervous under the scrutiny of the other four clans.
Snowstar stepped forward next. "ShadowClan is prospering. Prey is running now the cold has gone," he spoke. "We have a new apprentice with us tonight; Tigerpaw."
The she-cat stood up straight and welcomed the attention of the other four clans cheering her name. She seemed to thrive in the spotlight like no other.
"Moundtail has given birth to three healthy kits and we know they will become strong warriors of ShadowClan in six moons," Snowstar announced. "That is all."
"RiverClan is doing well," Sapstar spoke. "The river is flowing and our medicine cat, Seedcloud, has taken an apprentice; Pondpaw. A border patrol reported scents of a fox near the ThunderClan border, so we advise ThunderClan to be on alert."
Owlstar nodded to the RiverClan leader. "Thank you, Sapstar."
"We have another new apprentice with us tonight," Sapstar continued. "Please welcome Streampaw."
Likely Pondpaw's sister, Streampaw glanced over to where the medicine cats were sitting and flashed Pondpaw a prideful smile. Pondpaw responded only in a slow blink.
Sparrowstar waited for the cheers to die down before she spoke. "Rabbits are plentiful and WindClan is growing in numbers. Blackpaw is now Blackstorm."
Ravenpaw noticed Runningpaw looking towards his clanmates scattered across the clearing, a smile on his face that didn't match the disconnected look in his dark blue eyes.
He didn't know what was bothering the tom, but regardless, Ravenpaw felt inclined to do something, however strange for him. Subtly, he flicked his tufted tail tip over Runningpaw's tail, tickling his fur enough to get his attention but not noticeable to others.
Runningpaw glanced at him, and Ravenpaw continued to lightly tap his tail to Runningpaw's. The WindClan cat's dark blue eyes mesmerized Ravenpaw, and he found himself wishing to be a RiverClan cat just to swim in those inky depths. Realizing he'd been staring far too long, Ravenpaw tore away and focused back on the Gathering.
Alderstar had already started talking. "-is running well. That is all SkyClan has to report."
It seemed Ravenpaw had caught the tail end of whatever the SkyClan leader had to say, though admittedly, he didn't care too much about their affairs. He nearly jumped out of his fur when he felt Runningpaw's tail brush along his flank.
"Uh- WindClan is going now," he said awkwardly. "I'll see you whenever Cloverwing sends me over?"
Ravenpaw urged himself to say something more. Ask him what was bothering him? Ask him to meet sooner? However, all that came out was a measly, "yeah, that sounds nice."
Idiot, Ravenpaw told himself.
"Okay- um- I'll see you then," Runningpaw mewed. He trotted up to Cloverwing and Ravenpaw watched his skilled legs leap from rock to rock without faltering.
"I'm glad you and Runningpaw are getting along," Hazelstripe said as he approached.
"Uh, yeah," Ravenpaw mumbled. To be honest, he wasn't totally listening. He was watching Runningpaw's mouth upturn in a laugh at something a tortoiseshell she-cat said, and his ribs felt like they were too weak to contain the thumping of his heart.
"Don't be like that," Hazelstripe said stiffly. "A friend might do you some good."
Ravenpaw twitched his tail and turned around to glare at Hazelstripe. "Be like what? Myself?"
Hazelstripe let out a heavy sigh. "Ravenpaw…"
"No," Ravenpaw growled. "Just don't. Let's go." He lashed his tail and joined the group of ShadowClan cats that were beginning to gather as the clans were dispersing.
Lucky for him, Hazelstripe didn't push the issue. He spent the walk back to camp dully listening to Mistpaw telling Tigerpaw about a story some RiverClan elders had told her. He let his mind drift aimlessly, and found himself reimagining what Runningpaw's touch felt like on his fur.
Everyone in ShadowClan disliked Ravenpaw. He knew it, and he didn't care. Runningpaw had seen his attitude and still talked to him. Something was different about Runningpaw from any other cat Ravenpaw had met, both tom and she-cat. And Ravenpaw was determined to figure out what it was.
A/N
Ravenpaw: I sure hope this doesn't awaken anything in me
Oh boy lmao