I've heard it said,
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn.

And we are led to those
Who help us most to grow if we let them.
And we help them in return.

Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you.

"Nicky, I know you don't want to go back to treatment," Marka sighed as she took a seat in the corner of her hospital room. She swept her hair out of her eyes, sneaking a quick glance at her watch. "But the fact of the matter is you were supposed to be in treatment for at least three more weeks. I can't drop everything to stay home with you and clearly you're not ready to be by yourself. So I really don't see another solution."

Marka didn't want to be the one telling her daughter this. It felt as if she was the villain in every chapter of Nicky's book. Yet all those years of giving her exactly what she wanted without a second to think, what had they gained her? Maybe it was too late to be laying down the law, but she had no choice. She was an adult, but she was still her child. Moreover, she didn't see Nicky's father rushing to be by her bedside, yet she was the bad guy. She would have been lying if she said it didn't get her hackles up to think about.

Nicky stared at the cream ceiling, her eyes blurring. She forced herself to stop the tears before they had even begun and turned her head on her pillow. "You can't cancel one business trip?"

"It isn't one business trip!" Marka snapped. "How the hell do you think I afford all of these treatments for you? I can't just drop everything because I have responsibilities, Nicky...one of them being you."

Nicky scoffed. "I stopped being your responsibility the day I turned eighteen. Not that you were there."

The night before her eighteenth birthday had been spent partying and dabbling in many different drugs but it had still stung when she'd returned home the next morning, the morning of her birthday, to an empty house. A birthday card sat on the dining table, carefully placed on top of a present, but she would have rather had her mom's presence than presents.

Marka ignored the slight, mostly because although Nicky was being obstinate she still felt guilty about not being there that day. Still, she didn't appreciate the untrue accusation when she was the only one sitting there.

"If that were true," Marka said tightly, "I don't think I'd be here, would I?"

Nicky tried to ignore the bolts of pain shooting down her leg. It was hard to move with the bulky plaster around it and she was getting more uncomfortable by the minute.

"I can't believe you're trying to force me back there," she grumbled, shuffling upwards to get more comfortable. "You know you can't make me do anything? I have to sign myself in. I'm an adult."

Marka rolled her eyes. "If you spent less time proclaiming that you're an adult and more time acting like one I'd have less of an issue leaving you alone," she said. "But you're right. I can't make you do anything. Just remember what we agreed to, though."

"You always hold everything over my head," Nicky complained. "Don't you ever care how I feel about stuff? I don't want to go back there."

Marka tried not to sigh. "Of course you don't have to go back to that specific one," she said patiently. "Do you think I want you to go back there? They're negligent at best. Why would I ship you off somewhere that let you fall off a roof?"

At least, Marka had hoped she had fallen and hadn't jumped. It had been a bone of contention between Marka and the rehab that their CCTV was less than adequate.

The CCTV had been checked, but as Luschek was in charge of fixing it the last time it had broken down, naturally it hadn't been done. He'd told Nicky that as soon as he had seen her, when Marka had left the room to get a cup of coffee earlier that morning.

Nicky had watched wordlessly as Marka thanked him profusely for rescuing her, despite Marka's prompts for her to thank him too. He'd shrugged it off, playing the hero. She didn't mind. Groggy from surgery, she couldn't find it in her to feel much at all.

"Lucky for you you're a lazy bum," Nicky quipped to him in a hushed whisper. She crossed her arms against her sore chest. "So, what do I get for my silence?"

Luschek stared at her, his face a picture of disbelief. "How about your life?" he hissed. "Who stands on the edge of a roof anyway? I thought you were just a regular junkie, not an adrenaline one."

Nicky shrugged, looking away. "Someone who's past caring, I guess."

Luschek's glare faded. "Well, you'd better start caring," he said, his tone softer than it had been before. He raised his eyebrows. "This job is the best one I've had. They never check anything. I don't want you blabbing and losing it for me."

Nicky managed a smile. "I'm keeping my mouth shut, Luschek."

"Good," he said, stretching his neck out awkwardly. "Keep your mouth shut and your chin up, okay?" He reached out and quickly squeezed her hand. He whipped his hand away as quickly as he'd offered it to her, but she appreciated it despite his sweaty palm.

"Yeah," she said hoarsely, nodding. "I will."

"Where am I going, then?" Nicky asked, craning her neck to look properly at Marka. "If I'm not going back there, and I can't go home, where the hell am I going?"

Marka shifted in her seat. "I...don't know," she admitted. "But I will figure it out. So don't spend time worrying about it. Okay?"

Nicky turned her head on her pillow away from Marka. "Fine," she muttered. "You can go now. I'm going to catch up on sleep."

Marka's eyes lingered on the back of Nicky's head for a moment before rising out of her chair. She set down the small bag she'd packed for Nicky next to her bed and hovered for a moment.

"I'll be back later," she said. She waited for a second but no reply came, so she quietly slipped out of the room.

She walked the hospital corridors with her head firmly down, thinking about the meeting she had to rush to. It wasn't something she enjoyed, juggling home life with work, yet she'd grown accustomed to it. Ever since her husband left when Nicky was twelve, things had been like this. They'd steadily gotten worse until...well, now. Marka forced her mind to clear as she walked through the set of automatic double doors.

She was halfway across the parking lot when she heard her name being called.

"Mrs Nichols! Is that you?" a familiar accented voice called out.

Marka looked up in surprise. Upon seeing Red, she stopped and tried to sort out the mess she'd made of her hair by running her fingers through it.

"Galina," she said, smoothing down her skirt as she drew closer. "I didn't expect to see you here today."

Red nodded at Marka. The woman looked so tired. She recognized that weary appearance, the sigh that punctuated every sentence. It was a mother being tested to her limit with no thanks or gratitude. But at least she still had her child.

"I've come to see Nicky," she said needlessly, gently tapping the tupperware box under her arm. "I thought she could do with a bit of cheering up. She was...she was very upset last night," she said tentatively.

"She was groggy from surgery," Marka said. "I think that kind of trauma would shock anyone. I'd be more worried if she wasn't upset."

Red nodded again. After a moment's hesitation, she continued. "She really doesn't want to go back to treatment, you know."

Marka rubbed her forehead. "I know," she said, without a hint of annoyance. "I'm working on it. But Nicky expects miracles from me."

"I don't think she copes very well in those kind of places," Red offered. She knew she was pushing it now. If anyone had interfered like she was doing now with her children, she knew she would have resented it. She couldn't even bring herself to prickle when Marka heaved a rather obvious sigh.

Marka twirled an ankle in front of her, trying to get circulation back after standing too long in tight heels. "Yes, I've had Nicky telling me all this five minutes ago."

"She's not a bad kid," Red said.

"I know."

Red reached inside her purse. "Look, if you tell me to go to hell for this I will understand, but I found an outpatient day treatment center. I printed the brochure out at the library."

She fished out a well thumbed through stack of papers and handed them to Marka, bracing herself for them to be thrown back at her.

"It's pricey, but I think Nicky could really-"

"Thank you, Galina," Marka said shortly, cutting her off with a smile. "I will definitely look into that. But for now, I have to get to a meeting. Thank you for visiting Nicky, too. I think she could do with cheering up too. Got to dash!"

Marka quickly walked away as Red was left reeling. She watched the blonde disappear into the crowd, her lips pressed together. She saw Marka like she saw Nicky; lost and trying to find her way. Only Marka was older, and more closed off, and seemed less outgoing than Nicky did.

Red let out a little sigh but continued onto Nicky's hospital room. As she pushed the door open, Nicky glanced up. She lifted her head in surprise.

"Red," she murmured, a smile taking over her features. "I didn't know you were coming today."

"Of course," Red said. "I brought you some treats. You've gotten so skinny lately. Now, do you want something sweet or salty?"

"Oh, I just ate," Nicky lied. "I'll have something later."

Red glanced at her with a worried look in her eye but nodded without pushing it. She placed the tupperware box in the bedside table draw next to Nicky's bed.

"Are you comfortable?" Red asked, going over to stand by Nicky's bedside. She plumped her pillow gently. "These feel like rocks," she complained. "You need something softer. Should I go get the nurse?"

Nicky let out a tiny laugh, a huff of air through her nose that could have been construed as a sigh. "They're fine," she confirmed.

Red nodded and pulled a chair over closer to the bed. There was a need deep inside of her to just do something. Even if it was fluffing pillows or brushing hair. It gave her a task to take her mind off of the things she couldn't do for Nicky. And that felt like a mountain right now.

"Marka wants me to go back to treatment," she said numbly. "She's not listening to me. Not like you did."

"Nicky…" Red drew out her name with a small sigh. "This is temporary. Your mother just wants you to be safe. I shouldn't have promised something I couldn't guarantee."

"I'm going to be in one of these places forever," Nicky griped. "I don't think she'll ever think I'm sober or mature enough to make my own decisions."

"Give it time," Red soothed. She reached over and pinched Nicky's cheek gently. "I think your mother is trying. Maybe she'll find something that works for you." She rubbed the back of Nicky's hand.

Nicky nodded wordlessly. She stared at the ceiling once more. By the end of this hospital stay, she thought, she would know every tile on it by heart. With each blink her eyes grew heavier. Red watched as she fought sleep.

A small smile flickered over her features. It reminded her so much of her boys when they were young and she let them stay up past their bedtimes. They never could manage it. Dmitri would always carry them into their beds, safe and sound...she pressed her lips together. At least Nicky was safe here. From that perspective, she could understand Marka.

"Don't fight it," Red said softly. She reached over and ran her fingers through Nicky's hair. "It's your body trying to heal itself. Let it do its work, hm?"

"Will you stay with me until I fall asleep?" Nicky asked, her voice tailing away.

Red hated the fact she felt the need to ask. Of course she would stay with her. "Mhm," she said quietly. Her fingers still worked through Nicky's curls. "Just close your eyes, malyshka."

Later that morning, Red walked out of the hospital with a heavy heart. It was a crisp morning, bordering on a little chilly. She wrapped her coat around her tighter and decided to make a quick stop off before she went home.

At this time of year, the cemetery was - for want of a better phrase - a ghost town. Too far from Christmas to be dressed up in festive tributes and not close enough to summer to be bursting with spring blooms, it was, to be frank, even more depressing than usual. Red trudged down the well worn pathway. She could have walked that path with her eyes closed.

Guilt washed over her when she finally reached the bare grave. What little change she had brought out with her had gone on a cup of lukewarm coffee at the hospital, but now she wished she had kept it for an admittedly sparse bunch of roses the man on the side of the road was selling. She heaved a sigh as she swept away some garbage and straightened the cross.

"Tricia," she murmured. "It's so quiet without you."

Without her boys and Nicky in the house to fill the silence, she was beginning to find it almost unbearable. Her life had never been so quiet. So...empty. This was more than empty nest syndrome. She felt it in her bones. She yearned to be wanted, to be needed. Swallowing hard, she brushed against the small wooden cross; the closest she could get to touching Tricia ever again.

"Did I do the right thing?" Red's voice caught in her dry throat. "With Nicky, should I have held on tighter? Maybe if I hadn't let her go, she wouldn't be in hospital now…"

Red looked heavenward, running her fingers under her jaw. A few tears trickled down her cheeks. All the emotion she had been forced to hold in when talking to Nicky poured out whilst she stood over the grave.

"I'm sorry," Red finally choked out. She wiped her eyes and sucked in a breath that hurt her lungs. "You wouldn't want to see me like this." She let out a small laugh. "You always tried to make me smile. Never liked to see anyone upset…" she trailed off and heaved a sigh. "No. I should be grateful for what I have. Dmitri. Three healthy boys. Nicky, with only a broken leg after that huge fall...and you."

Red stared at the cross until her eyes blurred again. She closed her eyes after a moment.

"I don't regret a single moment with you." An unsteady breath left her lungs. "I wish things had been different. But I am who I am because of you. Anyway. I'd better go, honey. I know Dmitri is probably wondering where I am. I miss you. I love you. And I promise I will visit again, sooner this time."

Red opened the door to her apartment feeling brighter. Getting all of that off her chest helped. Visiting Tricia helped too. On her way back, she had picked up some groceries. She planned on whipping up a delicious meal for her and Dmitri. Maybe something classic, maybe a home comfort meal….her mind whirred with possibilities. After dinner she would soak in the bath with some of the products the boys bought her for Christmas. She wiggled her freezing cold toes in anticipation as she ascended the steps. Then maybe she would curl up with a good book, with Luna by her feet.

"I'm sorry I was so long, Dmitri, it's just I-"

"Galya," Dmitri cut her off before she said anything further. Sat at the kitchen table, he looked somber. "You have a visitor."

Red looked at the other end of the table.

"Mrs Nichols," Red said in surprise. She set her shopping down on the counter and looked from Marka to Dmitri. "What are you doing here? Is everything alright? Nicky...she's okay, isn't she?"

Marka looked stiff and uncomfortable, but managed a tight smile.

"Nicky's fine," she said, nodding. "It's just...I have a favor to ask, Galina."

A/N:

Thank you for reading! I hope you liked the chapter. I know the ending of this fic now and I think I will have it ended fairly soon so I'm happy about that. Let me know what you thought. I hope everyone is doing well.

- Star xo