A/N
Oh my god three reviews for the previous chapter holy hell
Brambleflower: I have a special name in mind for Songkit actually! I wonder if you can guess heheh. In regards to if Hazelstripe knows about Duskcloud comforting Ravenwind, he probably inferred it? He's very observant.
WarrioroftheWolves: I already have decided on Runningpaw's herb, but there will be a tie in with Ravenwind's herb at one point. By the way, I personally adopted the headcanon of medicine herbs from the artist Gekkozilla! You can check them out on instagram or tumblr, their art is stunning.
Thunderlake (guest): I'm so glad this story reached you! I have a sequel of sorts in mind that takes place after the events of Bleeding Hearts, and it has a similar theme but it also has more gender exploration (with two ftm trans main characters). It's still in the works but I figured you might be interested in hearing about it.
Chapter 11: Certain Heart
A chilly, morning breeze cut sharply through the WindClan camp. Runningpaw shivered, his thun fur doing little to keep him warm. The heather that surrounded camp was a bit frosty, but it grew strong even in leaf-bare. The purple and red was harsh against the white snow that covered camp. A group of warriors were pushing the snow out of the clearing so the elders could sit in the sun.
"Aren't you going to go help them?" Cloverwing purred in amusement.
Runningpaw was jolted out of his thoughts. "I was, but…" He trailed off.
"Ah, you're worried about Turtleheart," she inferred.
Runningpaw nodded. "She's been training Harepaw and I know she really wants him to pass this assessment. It would mean a lot to the both of them."
Cloverwing sat down beside him. "Harepaw is a very talented young apprentice," she said. "And Turtleheart has trained him well. I have faith Sparrowstar will pass him."
"I know Turtleheart trained him good, but he's only been an apprentice for five moons," Runningpaw pointed out. "And given Furzepaw's death, who knows what Sparrowstar will do?"
"We need capable warriors for leaf-bare," Cloverwing said. "And Harepaw and Sandpaw have more than proved themselves as such."
Runningpaw sighed heavily. "Turtleheart is just so ambitious. I know she'll be so disappointed if Harepaw doesn't pass."
"He'll pass," Cloverwing said confidently. "Warrior apprentices train for a much shorter time than medicine cats do after all. My littermates were only apprentices for four moons before they became warriors."
"What about Sandpaw?" Runningpaw asked.
"Oh, she'll do fine as well," Cloverwing said. "Lilynose has trained other apprentices before her."
Runningpaw opened his mouth to say something, but tasted the air instead. The scents of Harepaw and Turtleheart came in on a breeze, along with Sandpaw and Lilynose.
Runningpaw sat up straight and his ears perked up. "They're back!"
Turtleheart was first to emerge through the tunnel into camp, wearing a serious look on her face. Runningpaw was worried for a moment, before Harepaw came through with two well-sized rabbits with dappled leaf-bare coats. It was then he noticed Turtleheart was carrying rabbit kits in her jaws, likely from the rabbits Harepaw caught.
Sandpaw came in next, carrying a fledgling dove. Behind her, Lilynose carried dove eggs in her mouth. Sandpaw looked exceptionally proud of herself.
Harepaw and Sandpaw brought their catches to the fresh-kill pile, which was somewhat scarce. Runningpaw made a move to go to Turtleheart, but she and Lilynose made a beeline for Sparrowstar's den, where the leader was resting.
"They have to consult with her," Cloverwing reminded them. "Why don't you give one of those dove eggs to the nursery?"
He knew she was only trying to distract him, but he obeyed, grabbing one of the eggs in his teeth gently and carried it to the nursery. Moonblossom's kits nearly bowled him over once he entered.
"Don't kill our medicine cat!" Moonblossom exclaimed with a purr. Her kits halted in their tracks.
"We thought it was an intruder, mama," Oatkit said, shuffling her paws.
"No, you just want to play," Moonblossom said. "But it's too cold. I don't want you getting sick."
"Well, I have something that might cheer you up," Runningpaw mewed, dropping the dove egg.
Moonblossom gasped. "Oh my! Is that a dove egg? Which apprentice found it?"
"I believe it was Sandpaw," Runningpaw answered. "She was carrying a dove when she came back from her assessment."
"Well how do we eat it?" Brightkit demanded, tilting his head.
"Maybe you could ask him," Moonblossom suggested. "Nicely."
Brightkit blinked up at Runningpaw. "Could you open it for us?" Moonblossom gave him a stern look. "Please?" he added.
"Sure thing," Runningpaw meowed. "It's easy, watch." Steadying it with a paw, he rolled it over onto its side and held it. He leaned down and bit down into the shell. Carefully, Runningpaw began to bite and spit out the eggshell bits, creating a hole in the egg. Once it was big enough, he stepped back.
Oatkit, Brightkit, and Reedkit eyed the cracked open dove's egg cautiously. "Go on," Moonblossom urged them. "Runningpaw was nice enough to crack it open for you."
"Is it good?" Reedkit asked in a meek voice, sniffing it.
"Well, I've only had lapwing egg myself," Moonblossom admitted. "But it's very good for you."
Oatkit was the one who took the bold step. She dipped her muzzle into the egg and began to lick the inside. "It's delicious!" She exclaimed.
"Move over then!" Brightkit said, pushing his littermate over to stick his head into the egg to lick the yolk. Oatkit and Brightkit tussled over it until Moonblossom cuffed them both over the ear.
"You can all share," she said. "There's more than enough for the three of you." The queen watched with a careful eye as her rambunctious kits took turns eating up the egg, making sure they didn't shove each other again.
"Was this the only egg?" Moonblossom asked.
Runningpaw shook his head. "No, there were three. I can bring you one, if you like."
Moonblossom purred. "Yes, please."
He slipped out of the nursery to see Turtleheart and Lilynose leaving Sparrowstar's den. They both looked extremely delighted. He quickly picked up one of the eggs from the fresh-kill pile and brought it back to Moonblossom.
Moonblossom nodded in thanks and began to bite the shell and crack it open.
"I think Harepaw and Sandpaw are getting made warriors," he said.
She was licking the yolk. "Really? Well, they deserve it. This is amazing." The queen stuck her muzzle delicately into the egg once again, this time chewing. "Lucky me," she purred through the tender meat.
Runningpaw bowed his head in a quick goodbye and left the nursery to sit below the Highhill, just in time to see Sparrowstar exit her den and climb up to address her clan.
"Let all cats old enough to run across the moor gather beneath to Highhill to hear my words!" Sparrowstar yowled.
WindClan cats began to assemble, whispering in curiosity. Runningpaw sat close, eagerly waiting. He felt someone sit down beside him. It was Turtleheart.
"You know, Harepaw is my apprentice," she teased. "Why are you so nervous?"
"I'm nervous for you," Runningpaw said, flicking an ear.
"Well, don't be," Turtleheart said. "I'm confident in my apprentice. And in what I taught him."
"It's my job to worry," Runningpaw huffed.
"Right now, your job is to shut up and watch my apprentice become a warrior," Turtleheart snarked back, with a grin.
"I, Sparrowstar, leader of WindClan, call upon my warrior ancestors to look down on these apprentices. They have trained hard to understand the ways of your noble code, and I commend them to you as a warrior in their turn."
Harepaw and Sandpaw stood a few mouse-lengths away, bristling in anticipation. Sandpaw was kneading the ground, and Harepaw's tail was lashing back and forth. Gorsesky and Rainpuddle were looking on with pride.
"Sandpaw, do you promise to uphold the warrior code and to protect and defend your Clan, even at the cost of your life?" asked Sparrowstar.
Sandpaw gave a serious nod. "I do."
"Then by the powers of StarClan, I give you your warrior name. Sandpaw, from this moment you will be known as Sandsky. StarClan honors your decision making, and we welcome you as a full warrior of WindClan."
Sandsky dipped her head respectfully and gave Sparrowstar a brisk, nervous lick on the shoulder. WindClan cheered her new name.
"Sandsky! Sandsky!" Gorsesky looked exceptionally honored.
It was Harepaw's turn next. Runningpaw saw a shiver run down the lithe tom's spine.
"Harepaw, do you promise to uphold the warrior code and to protect and defend your Clan, even at the cost of your life?" asked Sparrowstar.
"I-" Harepaw gulped. "I do."
"Then by the powers of StarClan, I give you your warrior name. Harepaw, from this moment you will be known as Hareleap. StarClan honors your forethought, and we welcome you as a full warrior of WindClan."
Turtleheart was cheering his name before he had even licked the leader's shoulder. The rest of the clan joined in after her. Hareleap looked a bit nervous from all the clamoring, but he ultimately gave Sparrowstar his respect, and leapt off the Highhill.
"Now that I've finished training Hareleap, Sparrowstar has no good reason to look me over for deputy," Turtleheart boasted.
"I can think of one," Runningpaw pointed out. "Perchfur is still alive."
"He could retire!" Turtleheart huffed, embarrassed. "It's not like I want him to die, obviously. And maybe he becomes leader and then I'm Perchstar's deputy!"
Runningpaw rolled his eyes. "Whatever you say, Turtleheart."
"Oh!" She exclaimed. "I almost forgot. Yewtail was acting strange earlier. He said he was really tired and out of breath, and it's got me worried he's caught whitecough or something. He's too stubborn to ask for help, though."
Runningpaw sighed. "Why you chose him to be your mate, I'll never know."
Turtleheart giggled. "Oh, come on. He's sweet, funny, and he really loves me. What more can I ask for?"
"A brain?" Runningpaw retorted.
Turtleheart gave him a smack, but she was grinning. "Alright, you feather-brain, go fix him now."
"Fine, fine," Runningpaw sighed playfully.
Runningpaw made his way to the warriors den, which was completely empty aside from Yewtail. The moment he got close, a rancid scent hit him, and he bolted in.
Yewtail was laying on the ground in an awkward position, like he had just fallen over. His chest was still.
"Yewtail!" Runningpaw gasped. He ran forward and turned him on his back. He's not breathing! He pressed an ear to the tom's chest, and heard his heart beating faintly.
Runningpaw pressed his paws on Yewtail's chest and began pumping in an effort to get him breathing again. He knew he needed to call for Turtleheart to get Cloverwing, but he didn't want to frighten her.
"Turtleheart!" Runningpaw shouted. "Fetch Cloverwing!"
The tortoiseshell poked her head in the den. "What's wrong? Is he okay?"
Runningpaw sharply looked over his shoulder, not stopping his working on Yewtail. "Just do it!" He hissed.
The blood was roaring in his ears. Everything felt painstakingly slow with every pump he pressed at Yewtail's chest. Then, Yewtail's body spasmed and he inhaled sharply. Runningpaw let out a heavy sigh of relief.
Cloverwing raced into the den moments later with Turtleheart at her heel. "Is he…?" Turtleheart sounded horrified.
"No!" Runningpaw said quickly. "He stopped breathing, but he's alright now. I don't know what happened, though."
"Help me move him into the medicine den," Cloverwing said. She lifted Yewtail up, and Runningpaw steadied him on the other side. Turtleheart was following with a deep, anxious look in her eyes.
They settled him in an extra nest in the edge of the den. He was still unconscious, and his breathing was shallow. Turtleheart was practically attached to his side. She wiped away bile that was dripping from his mouth.
"What could have made him collapse like that?" Cloverwing wondered aloud. "Was he conscious when you entered the den?"
Runningpaw shook his head. "No, he had already stopped breathing. I probably got there just in time." He gave Yewtail a sniff. "He smells sick, but it's unfamiliar."
"Turtleheart, did he eat anything? Could he have eaten something rotten?" Cloverwing asked, turning to the tortoiseshell.
She was quiet for a moment, thinking. She shook her head. "No, the prey all smelled fine. We ate before I went out for Hareleap's assessment."
"Well, it has to be something he ate," Cloverwing whispered to Runningpaw. "He's bringing up bile."
"What exactly did he eat?" Runningpaw asked.
"Um, a rabbit," Turtleheart replied. "He caught it on the dawn patrol. It was fresh."
"DId you share with him?" Cloverwing asked. "How are you feeling?"
"I feel fine," Turtleheart said. "But I didn't share it with him. He ate with Applewhisker."
"Go find Applewhisker," Cloverwing said quickly to Runningpaw.
Luckily for him, Applewhisker was easy to locate. Nearly all of his time was spent in the nursery with Moonblossom and their kits. He was giving Oatkit a badger ride as Moonblossom lounged sleepily in the sun.
Applewhisker saw the urgency on Runningpaw's face. "Oatkit," he mewed, letting her down. "Go show your mother that hunting crouch you've been practising."
Oatkit scampered off, completely oblivious.
"What is it?" Applewhisker asked.
"Do you feel sick?" Runningpaw asked. "You shared food with Yewtail, and he's fallen ill."
Applewhisker shook his head. "I feel alright." He sat down. "That badger ride tuckered me out, though." The dark ginger tom's flanks were rising and falling quickly, as if he was struggling to catch his breath.
"Come with me," Runningpaw said quickly. He didn't wait for Applewhisker to even answer. Instead, he tugged him up and practically dragged him to the medicine den.
"Shortness of breath," Runningpaw reported with Applewhisker in tow.
Turtleheart stood up. "You too?"
"Let me listen to your breathing," Cloverwing mewed. Applewhisker obeyed, casting Yewtail a worried glance. Turtleheart was looking fretfully between her brother and her mate.
Runningpaw was wracking his brain for anything he could think of. The sickness didn't smell like anything he'd smelled before, and by the looks of it, neither had Cloverwing.
Suddenly, a chill gripped him. It wasn't from the wind or cold. Instead, this creeped on him from the inside, spreading throughout his body. He staggered a bit, surprised. He shivered, and when he blinked up, he saw fields.
What? Runningpaw looked around. His heart was pounding. Focus. Focus! He told himself. The moors were dotted with purple flowers. They had bloomed recently. Beyond the flowers, he spotted a mountain.
Wait… No. It wasn't a mountain. As he got closer, he saw the faces of Yewtail and Applewhisker. They were the bodies of his clanmates, stacked high. Turtleheart was among them. No!
"Dandelion," a voice whispered in his ear. He didn't recognize it.
He spun around. There was no one there. His heart was pounding.
"The roots," the voice spoke again. It was a tom, calm and gentle, like a green-leaf stream. "Act fast!"
Runningpaw gasped. The chill left him. Cloverwing was staring at him expectantly. It took him a moment to get his bearings.
"What just happened?" Turtleheart meowed. Her mew was laced with anxiety. He had never heard her sound so scared. "Is he okay?"
"A vision," Cloverwing answered. She approached Runningpaw delicately. "What did you see?"
"Those flowers," Runningpaw mewed. He was struggling to hold onto what he saw. Cloverwing hasn't been out of camp in a while… she wouldn't know. "By the ThunderClan border, some purple flowers took seed. They're poison."
"Purple flowers?" Cloverwing echoed. A flicker of recognition sparked in her eyes. "Meadow saffron!" Her mew was grim. "I'm a feather-brain!"
Runningpaw cocked his head. "What's meadow saffron?"
"An incredibly deadly plant," she replied. "It used to grow on the twoleg nest between ShadowClan and SkyClan. Silverwater once told me birds would spread its seeds and he'd have to dig it up. When the twolegs left their nest, they got rid of it and haven't dealt with it since."
"It must have come from some other twoleg nest," Runningpaw meowed. "I was told to get dandelion roots."
"It must have been Silverwater," Cloverwing mewed. "Take a patrol with you to get rid of every last flower. I'll check the rest of the clan for symptoms."
"What if someone I take is sick?" Runningpaw asked.
"Take anyone who hasn't eaten," she answered. "Sandsky and Hareleap would be good choices. And get rid of all the prey. It could be poisoned too."
Nodding, Runningpaw darted out of the den. He spotted Blackstorm reaching into the fresh-kill pile. "Don't!" He cried out. She dropped the rabbit in alarm.
Sparrowstar looked up from her prey at his shout. "What's the matter, Runningpaw?"
"The prey is bad," Runningpaw said. "Yewtail and Applewhisker are sick. All of it needs to go."
Sparrowstar stood up immediately and shoved her finch away. WindClan cats only stared at Runningpaw blankly. "Do as he says," she growled to her clan.
"It's meadow saffron," he explained to her. "I had a vision." He turned to Hareleap, who was sharing tongues with his parents. "Have you or Sandsky eaten?"
"No, we have to sit vigil tonight," he said.
"Fetch her and come with me to destroy the flowers," he growled. He turned back to Sparrowstar. "You need to bury all the prey. Deep so no foxes or badgers can get it either."
Sparrowstar understood immediately. The last thing they needed was a sick, rotting carcass of a fox or badger on their territory. She barked orders at her clan, and they followed them with haste.
"What about the eggs I brought back?" Sandsky asked.
"We can keep those," Runningpaw meowed. "The meadow saffron won't be inside them."
"Cats may go hungry tonight," Sparrowstar announced, "but it's for the greater good. Better hungry than dead."
"Is Applewhisker alright?" Moonblossom cried. Her fur was bristling with terror.
"Cloverwing is tending to him," Runningpaw answered. Though he wasn't lying, he didn't quite answer her question. Without that dandelion root, he'll die for sure.
"Where's that plant?" Hareleap asked.
"Down by the river," Runningpaw answered. "On the ThunderClan border. Dig up all of it, even the roots. We have to make sure it can't grow back."
The new warriors nodded dutifully and took to a sprint out of camp. Runningpaw headed in the opposite direction, towards the RiverClan border, where a stretch of dandelion grew best.
He hurried across the snowy moor, flinging up snow behind him. He tasted RiverClan in the air, but it was stale, likely from the dawn patrol. Dandelion puffs blew in his face as the breeze shifted.
Runningpaw had to force himself to dig the dandelions carefully, so as not to destroy new buds taking root. He was so filled with dread it threatened to overtake him. Everything happened so fast. What do I do if I'm already too late? He was fighting back the fear that was blossoming in the pit of his stomach.
Silverwater gave you that vision, he told himself. Trust his knowledge. He dealt with this poison in life. He knows what to do.
Runningpaw gathered roots from the swaths of dandelions dancing in the frigid wind. He was carrying more than he thought possible, but he knew stocking up would be their best option, as most of the clan had eaten prey before showing any symptoms.
Hareleap and Sandsky were making their way back to camp at the same time as him. They were covered in dirt and sweat. He dropped the roots to speak to them.
"We threw them in the river," Sandsky said. She sounded out of breath, but not from the saffron poisoning, just exhaustion.
Runningpaw nodded. "They'll go downstream and out of our territory. Good."
"And we figured fish wouldn't eat it," Hareleap added. "We also did an extra patrol to make sure there wasn't any more anywhere else in the territory."
Runningpaw felt a surge of second hand pride. Turtleheart really did train him well. Not that I doubted her. "Clean yourselves up," Runningpaw said. "Best to wash in some water, though. You handled the herb and we don't know if touching it is dangerous."
Hareleap and Sandsky nodded obediently and circled around camp to a pond behind the elders' den. Runningpaw picked up the heap of roots again and hurried through the heather tunnel into camp.
Snow shook off the heather and fell onto his back, making him shiver. He saw most of the clearing was now empty. He made a beeline for Cloverwing's den.
More cats had poured in since he had left. Yewtail was still unconscious, but now Turtleheart lay beside him, her breathing ragged. Applewhisker had gotten worse as well, but his eyes were still open.
He gave half of the roots to Cloverwing. "I can get more if we need it," he meowed.
Cloverwing shook her head. "No, this is more than enough."
Cloverwing held Yewtail's head and managed to get his mouth open. Runningpaw smeared the pulp onto the warrior's tongue. It took a moment, but they saw his throat bob, indicating he had swallowed it.
Runningpaw was about to give some of the dandelion root to Turtleheart, when Mousethorn let out a scratchy yowl.
"Sparrowstar stopped breathing!" He cried.
Cloverwing tore from Turtleheart's side to rush to Sparrowstar. Runningpaw made a move to help her, but Cloverwing hissed, "stay with Turtleheart!"
He gave a shaky nod. He inserted the paste into Turtleheart's mouth and waited to see her throat bob. It took longer than it did with Yewtail, and his heart clenched. Then, her throat moved. He let out a small sigh.
Cloverwing was still pumping on Sparrowstar's chest. It was strange to see their leader in such a helpless state. It made his stomach twist.
Sparrowstar's whole body shuddered, and her eyes fluttered open. To everyone else in the den, Cloverwing had started her breathing up again just like he had done with Yewtail. But Cloverwing and Runningpaw both knew that Sparrowstar had lost a life. That left her on her last, and only life.
Cloverwing cast him a grim look. Sparrowstar's eyes were bright again, but Runningpaw approached and ground up a small bit of the dandelion root for her.
"To keep up appearances," Runningpaw whispered, so only she could hear.
Sparrowstar nodded and swallowed the pulp. She rested her head back down onto her paws, looking tired. Runningpaw felt empty at imagining WindClan without Sparrowstar. She'd been leader all his life. What would WindClan be like when she was gone?
Runningpaw tore himself away, turning to his next patient. Applewhisker's eyes were starting to look cloudy.
"Swallow this," Runningpaw ordered.
Tiredly, Applewhisker leaned forward and allowed Runningpaw to feed him the dandelion root. He was barely strong enough to swallow it. The dark ginger tom blinked his gratefulness. Runningpaw could see the fear rounding his eyes.
Weakly, Applewhisker stood, and with a heaving chest, positioned himself up against his sister's side. She had been resuscitated sometime while Runningpaw had been gone, and like Yewtail, had yet to wake again.
Turtleheart let out a soft noise as Applewhisker cuddled up next to her. Runningpaw was vividly reminded of his days in the nursery with them, playing games of moss-ball and begging their fathers for badger rides. All of a sudden, Turtleheart and Applewhisker became Turtlekit and Applekit, curled up together for warmth with Runningkit.
"They'll be okay," Cloverwing whispered to him, snapping him out of his daze.
"I know," Runningpaw muttered. It still hurts to see them like this, though. He was harshly reminded of his sisters. Mousekit and Sorrelkit had succumbed to greencough like their father, Whitewhisker, at five moons old. Turtleheart and Applewhisker would sleep with him to keep him warm in their absence in the nursery.
Runningpaw collected his thoughts. "Should we warn the other clans?"
Cloverwing bowed her head. "Yes. We'll tell them at the Moonfall tonight."
Runningpaw's body tingled. The Moonfall… Would Silverwater have anything to say to him? He figured Silverwater spoke to Cloverwing, but he had never seen the elusive medicine cat himself. He was only assuming it was Silverwater who delivered the vision to him, but given how he didn't see him, it could have been anyone. Well, it wasn't Whitewhisker, I know that.
His thoughts drifted. At the previous half-moon, Ravenwind received his full name. Runningpaw had wanted to say more to him, but given he had already done his extra training time in ShadowClan, he had no excuse to go and see him. He felt like he could fly at the thought of seeing Ravenwind. For whatever reason, he had been absent at the Gathering a quarter-moon ago, and Runningpaw felt himself yearning.
"StarClan to Runningpaw?"
He snapped back. Cloverwing was trying to get his attention.
"Oh! Sorry, Cloverwing," he said. "I'm a bit… tired."
She cracked a weary smile. "That's alright. But most of WindClan owes you their lives today. You should feel proud."
Runningpaw wasn't sure what he felt. Currently, he was fretting over Turtleheart and Applewhisker, who were like littermates to him, thinking about his vision, and hoping to see Ravenwind. He wasn't sure there was much room for pride in his mind.
Cloverwing sensed his hesitance, and she let out a quiet sigh. "What were you daydreaming about?" She asked. It was an innocent question as she tried to change the subject, but ultimately made Runningpaw's stomach do flips when Ravenwind entered his mind.
"I was- um, you see-" What's wrong with me! I'm usually so good with lying! "It's complicated, and I-"
Cloverwing cut him off before he could finish his stuttering. "It's alright, Runningpaw. I understand."
He blinked, shutting himself up. "You do?"
"Seeing someone you love on the edge of StarClan is frightening," she said. "But you mustn't let feelings cloud your judgement."
"I won't- I mean, I'm not," he said quickly. "I'm just… really worried." He glanced over his shoulder. Applewhisker had his chin resting on Turtleheart's shoulder. Everything about them screamed sad and sickly.
"It's only natural," Cloverwing meowed. "However, as medicine cats, we must remain unbiased."
Unbiased? Runningpaw grew confused.
"You're grown, and it was bound to happen," Cloverwing continued. "But I feel I need to remind you of the rules. Medicine cats cannot take a mate nor bear kits."
Runningpaw felt his paws freeze to the ground and his heart sunk to the pit of his stomach like a large rock. Oh. My. StarClan. Cloverwing was looking in the direction of Turtleheart. She meant love as in… no way! Turtleheart?!
"What? No!" Runningpaw gasped. "I'm not- I don't- she's-"
Cloverwing cut him off once again. "It's alright, Runningpaw. The feelings are harmless. Everyone gets a crush sometimes. Well, not everyone, but you know what I mean."
No, I don't know what you mean! His throat felt dry. I'd never be in love with Turtleheart! She's my best friend! She's like a sister to me!
"Uhh… yep. You got me," he lied. It's better she thinks I love Turtleheart than… than what? "B- but she's got Yewtail, and I just want her to be happy." I do want her to be happy, but the last thing I want is to be mates with her! I love her to death, but never!
Cloverwing purred. "Sometimes I wonder when you got so mature."
"Somewhere between almost getting mauled by a fox and having ThunderClan attack me when I went to their camp," Runningpaw answered wryly. Cloverwing looked more baffled than amused.
"I'm just glad you agree," Cloverwing sighed. "Silverwater had a difficult time helping me understand the rules."
Runningpaw distinctly remembered his mentor mentioning she fell in love once, though he guessed right in the fact she would never elaborate further.
"That life doesn't interest me," Runningpaw answered. At least, it didn't used to.
"You know, I'm very proud of you, Runningpaw," Cloverwing purred. "You're an exceptional apprentice."
Surprise flashed through his pelt. "You're- you're an exceptional mentor."
The sun had set before he knew it.
Hareleap and Sandsky were standing vigil, while Grasswing and Blackstorm carried out the clan duties for Sparrowstar and Perchfur. They were some of the only cats who didn't have a brush with death. The unlucky souls who ate before knowing it was tainted were resting, on orders from both Cloverwing and Runningpaw.
The evening was brisk. A breeze rattled the bare branches as the two medicine cats made the trek to the Moonpool.
Night was brittle with cold. Frost had driven most creatures into hiding, and their pawsteps were the only movement that disturb the frozen, still earth. Snow crunched under them. Pawprints from other medicine cats were printed into the snow.
"The waterfall isn't frozen," Runningpaw noticed. He was surprised. Everything seemed like it had frozen over, but the water was cascading down brilliantly.
"The Moonfall never freezes," Cloverwing said confidently. "It would have to be much colder than this."
Runningpaw shivered at the thought. He slid down the slope to greet Seedcloud and Pondpaw. They were the only ones there.
"You're looking well," Seedcloud commented. His heart twisted when he saw the skinniness in the RiverClan cats.
Runningpaw dipped his head. "We have news, but it goes for every clan."
"We will wait," Cloverwing said as she leapt down.
"For what?" Fallowleaf asked in a deep voice. He looked a bit out of breath. He had been trying to catch up with them.
"Where's Milkpool?" Pondpaw squeaked.
"She's got a fever," Fallowleaf said. "I thought it would be better if she rested."
Cloverwing dipped her head. "Send her my well wishes."
"I will," he said. "Though, ThunderClan has been quite buzzing lately. Do you remember the farm cat I told you about at the last Gathering?"
Runningpaw recalled it hazily. He listened for Fallowleaf to refresh his memory. "The one you took in?"
"What happened?" Seedcloud asked. "Did he hurt anyone?"
"No," Fallowleaf shook his head. "Actually, he died. He got real sick and started coughing blood. Milkpool believes it was an advanced form of greencough that just destroyed his lungs."
"That sounds terrifying," Pondpaw whimpered.
"It was quite upsetting," Fallowleaf admitted. "I really thought we could help him. Maybe even get him to join ThunderClan. We could use some new blood."
"At least he hasn't infected anyone, right?" Cloverwing asked.
"No one has shown any symptoms," Fallowleaf confirmed. "Only Milkpool's fever."
"Do you need some borage?" Seedcloud offered.
Fallowleaf purred his thanks, but he shook his head. There was a noise at the top of the ridge, and they looked up to see Ravenwind sliding down the snowy slope. He was helping Hazelstripe down, who had difficulty with his limp.
"Good evening!" Runningpaw purred. Elation made its way down his spine.
Ravenwind's eyes were regaining their light. "Hi," he purred back. "How are you?"
"A little tired," he admitted. "You weren't at the Gathering last time. Where were you?"
Ravenwind's eyes widened. "Oh! You're never going to believe this. Duskcloud is pregnant."
Runningpaw's jaw dropped. "What? Your sister?"
Ravenwind chortled. "I know, right? I never thought anyone could love her, but I guess she tricked Shadeflight into it because he's barely left her side the whole time."
"Whoa!" Runningpaw gasped. "Her former apprentice?"
"You two gossip like elders," Hazelstripe broke in, laughing.
"You're the only elder here," Fallowleaf shot back with a sly grin.
"Low blow," Hazelstripe scoffed.
"Anyways," Ravenwind continued. "She was having bad cramps so I stayed in case she went into labor. She didn't. She's even refusing to move into the nursery until she has the kits."
"We have three queens," Hazelstripe sighed tiredly. "We can only hope the kits wait until new-leaf to be born."
"Sorry I'm late!"
The medicine cats looked up to see a frazzled Honeypool scrambling down the slope. "You're fine," Cloverwing said back. "The moon isn't high yet. We're just early."
"Why are we here so early anyways?" Runningpaw wondered aloud. The mentors fell silent. He looked between them, oblivious. "What?"
Cloverwing stepped forward. "I, Cloverwing, medicine cat of WindClan…" This isn't happening. "...call upon my warrior ancestors to look down upon this apprentice." She's really going through with it. "He has trained hard to understand the ways of a medicine cat, and with your help he will serve his Clan for many moons."
Runningpaw's breath was stuck in his throat. His heart was racing, echoing in his ears. He saw Ravenwind out of the corner of his eye. 'Breathe' he mouthed to him. Runningpaw took a deep, calming breath.
"Runningpaw," she continued, walking closer. "Do you promise to uphold the ways of a medicine cat, to stand apart from rivalry between Clan and Clan and to protect all cats equally, even at the cost of your life?"
His heart was in his throat, and it blocked his words. He swallowed. "I do."
"Then, by the powers of StarClan, I give you your full name as a medicine cat."
Runningpaw held his breath. What if I hate it? What if it doesn't fit me?
"Runningpaw, from this moment on, you will be known as Runningshadow," Cloverwing announced. "StarClan honors your adamance and resolve. Your skills will save many lives to come."
Runningshadow let his breath out. Runningshadow. He looked to Ravenwind. He was grinning for him. I love it.
"Runningshadow!" Ravenwind yowled. "Runningshadow!" The others joined in, and Runningshadow looked down at the rocks, feeling hot in the face. Even though it was just a small group of them, he felt too put on the spot.
"I'm honored, Cloverwing," he said. He gave her shoulder a lick. "You surprised me."
"You showed me today that you are more than ready to handle the responsibilities of a full medicine cat," Cloverwing purred.
Runningshadow blinked. "Oh! That reminds me!"
He launched into a detailed explanation of the meadow saffron, the dangers, symptoms, his vision, and the cure. The other medicine cats listened with equally serious looks on their faces.
"And don't leave even the tiniest leaf, root, seed, whatever," Cloverwing added. "It's a very resilient plant."
Honeypool bowed her head deeply. "Thank you for the warning. I'll keep an eye out for it now."
"Actually," Runningshadow cut in. "It's better to look even if you haven't seen it. It pollinates quickly and spreads far."
The moon grew to its peak, and the medicine cats all nodded to each other. "It is time for you to share tongues with StarClan as a full medicine cat," said Cloverwing.
Runningshadow could hardly believe it. He forced himself to lie still. His tail lashed in anticipation, but as the crashing of the waterfall filled his ears, he felt the familiar tug of sleep.
His eyes opened on lush greenery. It was warm, and the sweet smell of rabbit pierced his sense of smell. Green-leaf breezes coddled him and he looked around the open fields for any sign of StarClan.
"Boo."
A voice whispered in his ear, and Runningshadow let out a yelp of surprise, jumping up into the air. He spun around to see a pale grey tabby tom smirking like a kit. A red poppy clung to his left ear.
"You're Silverwater," Runningshadow said, exhaling in relief.
The former medicine cat licked a paw. "What gave it away?" He pointed to his poppy. "Was it this?"
Runningshadow shook his head. "Featherleap told me you like to play pranks. And you have the same eyes as her."
A purr resonated in Silverwater's throat. "She always liked to spoil good fun."
"Are you here to give me my herb?" Runningshadow asked.
SIlverwater smiled. "I already did." He pointed to a stream, and giving him a look, Runningshadow peered into the water to see his reflection. Pale leaves hung from his left ear.
"You put it there when you scared me!" Runningshadow exclaimed.
"They're vanilla leaves," Silverwater said calmly. "It symbolizes longing."
Runningshadow frowned. How fitting, he thought sourly.
"Oh, don't give me that look," SIlverwater sighed. "It symbolizes visions, too. Powerful ones." He winked.
"It was you who gave me that vision, wasn't it?" Runningshadow asked firmly.
Silverwater shrugged. "I like to keep an air of mystery."
"Do you do the same with Cloverwing?" Runningshadow demanded.
"Sure," he meowed casually. "Why would I change who I am in death?"
Runningshadow sighed. "Well, alright." From all he had heard about Silverwater, the medicine cat was nothing like he had expected. "Is there anything you have to tell me?"
Silverwater raised an eyebrow. "Is there anything you want to hear?"
"What- what am I doing here?" Runningshadow asked. The words poured from his mouth like a river. "Why am I here at all?"
"To receive your herb," Silverwater replied.
Runningshadow's nose twitched. "That's not what I asked, and you know it. Is there something I'm meant to do? Is there something out there for me?"
Silverwater looked sympathetic, but there was a cautious undertone to his expression. "No one's path is predetermined."
"There has to be something more!" Runningshadow pleaded. "It feels like I'm missing something. I thought it would pass, but it hasn't. What am I meant to do?"
"I cannot give you the answers you seek," Silverwater replied solemnly. "You must find them yourself."
Everyone else was already awake. Runningshadow sat up abruptly.
Ravenwind sniffed him. "You smell good."
"Um- it- it's the vanilla," he stammered.
"It looks good on you," he purred. His amber eyes glowed with moonlight.
"So does yours," Runningshadow mewed.
"Doesn't smell nearly as sweet as you-" his eyes widened a bit. "I mean- as yours."
Runningshadow's heart was racing. But he was calm as ever. Ravenwind seemed to have an effect on him that no one else did. He used to not have a name for it.
I know what it is now.
"Let's walk to the border," Runningshadow meowed. "Together, I mean."
Ravenwind chuckled. "We always walk to the border together." Nonetheless, their pelts were brushing as they walked, and their tails grazed one another with every flick.
Cloverwing and Hazelstripe were involved in a deep conversion on why tansy was better than chickweed for preventing greencough. Neither Ravenwind or Runningshadow were paying attention. They were playing a dangerous game.
I know what I'm missing. And I know exactly what I have to do to get it. When the full moon comes, I'll have the answer to the question he asked, all those moons ago.
A/N
Am I subtle? No. Do I ever plan to be? Also no.
Leave your thoughts in a review for me ;) i want to know what you think is going to happen.
WindClan
Leader: Sparrowstar: a brown she cat with a lighter chest and white speckles
Deputy: Perchfur: a dark grey tom with white paws
Medicine cat: Cloverwing: a light grey tabby she cat with green eyes
Apprentice: Runningshadow: a brown tom with white spots and blue eyes
Warriors
Grassclaw: a dark grey fluffy she cat
Bramblepelt: a brown mottled tom
Apprentice: Silverpaw
Fernfoot: a silver tabby tom
Gorsesky: a fluffy light grey she cat
Tangletail: a rusty tabby she cat with a thick tail
Applewhisker: a dark ginger tom
Apprentice: Mosspaw
Lilynose: a silver tabby she cat
Sandsky: a dark grey she-cat with yellow eyes
Mousetalon: a dark brown and white tabby tom
Brownthistle: a white she cat with brown splotches
Dawnfeather: a light grey tom
Yewtail: a light ginger tabby tom
Turtleheart: a tortoiseshell she cat
Hareleap: a light grey tabby tom
Rainpuddle: a blue-grey tabby tom
Blackstorm: a solid black she cat
Apprentices
Mosspaw: a dark grey she cat with white paws
Silverpaw: a grey tabby she cat with white paws
Queens
Moonblossom: a white and black dappled she cat (mother to Oatkit, Brightkit, and Reedkit)
Elders
Rabbitear: a thin brown and white tom
Featherleap: a silver tabby she cat
Mallowpool: a dark ginger tabby tom
Kits
Oatkit: a dark ginger she kit
Brightkit: a white and ginger dappled tom kit
Reedkit: a black tom kit with white paws
ShadowClan
Leader: Snowstar: a large white tom
Deputy: Sootflower: a rugged dark she cat with black flecks
Apprentice: Nightpaw
Medicine cat: Hazelstripe: a light brown tabby tom
Apprentice: Ravenwind: a black dappled tom with a grey underbelly
Warriors
Sharpheart: a black tom
Apprentice: Mothpaw
Redhawk: a dark ginger tom with black stripes
Tigersnag: a brown tabby she cat
Snailspots: a mottled brown tom
Spiderwhisker: a long legged white she cat (expecting Darktail's)
Apprentice: Patchpaw
Mossrock: a grey tabby she cat
Duskcloud: a grey she cat with black flecks (expecting Shadeflight's)
Shadeflight: a dark grey tabby tom
Brightstep: a white and ginger tabby she cat
Pinepetal: a dark brown she cat
Quickfoot: a dark silver mottled tom
Mistsnow: a blue grey she cat with a white chest and underbelly
Dewstorm: a light blue grey tom
Apprentice: Brownpaw
Pebblepelt: a dark grey tabby tom
Apprentices
Nightpaw: a black tom with white ears and paws
Mothpaw: a light grey tabby she cat
Patchpaw: a black and white she cat
Brownpaw: a light brown tom
Queens
Sunfall: a strong golden she cat (mother to Stormkit, Fennelkit, and Songkit)
Elders
Stonewater: a blue grey tabby tom
Whitemuzzle: a thin white tom
Willowdusk: a lean, silver dappled she cat
Kits
Stormkit: a dark grey tabby tom kit
Fennelkit: a golden tabby tom kit
Songkit: a dark blue-grey she kit
ThunderClan
Leader: Owlstar: a white and brown tabby she cat
Deputy: Ivystripe: a silver tabby tom
Medicine cat: Milkpool: a white and grey patched she cat
Apprentice: Fallowleaf: a light brown tom with darker paws, ears and muzzle
Warriors
Sandheart: a dusty ginger tom
Apprentice: Volepaw
Jumpwing: a black and white she cat
Apprentice: Branchpaw
Lilacpool: a silver tabby she cat
Redwhisker: a dark ginger tom
Apprentice: Mothpaw
Molefoot: a light brown tom with coarse fur
Lionwhisker: a golden tabby tom
Cherrynose: a ginger she cat with white paws and ears
Apprentice: Dustpaw
Fernleaf: a brown tabby she cat
Apprentice: Beechpaw
Olivebelly: a light brown tom
Leafstripe: a grey tabby tom
Apprentices
Volepaw: a golden and white she cat
Branchpaw: a dusty ginger she cat
Mothpaw: a golden tabby tom
Dustpaw: a silver tom
Beechpaw: a ginger tabby tom
Queens
Blossomfur: a ginger and white spotted she cat (mother to Amberkit)
Morningfoot: a golden tabby she cat (expecting Redwhisker's)
Elders
Larchtail: a grey and white she cat
Sparrowfall: a light brown tabby tom
Kits
Amberkit: a ginger and white tabby tom
RiverClan
Leader: Sagestar: a dark grey she cat
Deputy: Duckfoot: a grey tom with large paws
Medicine cat: Seedcloud: a cream tabby tom
Apprentice: Pondpaw
Warriors
Jumpfeather: a light grey she cat
Heronclaw: a brown tom with white flecks
Apprentice: Oakpaw
Swampclaw: a dark grey-brown speckled tom
Briarleap: a beautiful brown tabby she cat
Creeksnow: a white she cat with silver flecks
Apprentice: Flypaw
Yarrowpool: a light ginger tabby tom
Reedwing: a beige tabby tom
Brooktail: a light grey she cat
Apprentice: Mosspaw
Gingerclaw: a dark ginger she cat
Fernbranch: a white and cream she cat
Apprentice: Smokepaw
Bluestripe: a silver tabby tom
Apprentices
Pondpaw: a blue grey tabby she cat
Oakpaw: a brown tabby tom
Flypaw: a calico she cat
Mosspaw: a light ginger tabby she cat
Smokepaw: a dark ginger tom
Queens
Streamtail: a silver tabby she cat (mother to Silverkit, Goosekit, and Flurrykit)
Perchwing: a black she cat (mother to Rainkit, Cloudkit, and Stonekit)
Elders
Hailbreeze: a thin white she cat
Darkwillow: a black she cat
Fuzzyheart: thick-furred cream tom
Kits
Silverkit: a light silver tabby she cat
Goosekit: a dark grey she kit
Rainkit: a black she kit
Cloudkit: a black tom kit with a white chest and ears
Stonekit: a brown tom kit
SkyClan
Leader: Alderstar: a broad shouldered brown tabby tom
Deputy: Redfoot: a white she-cat with ginger paws
Medicine cat: Honeypool: a golden mottled she cat with amber eyes
Warriors
Ashleaf: a solid grey she-cat
Apprentice: Olivepaw
Willowfur: a silver tabby she-cat
Apprentice: Sheeppaw
Cedarpool: a brown tabby tom
Apprentice: Mintpaw
Ducktail: a little grey and white she-cat with a stubby tail
Dewnose: a white tom with golden patches
Apprentice: Ferretpaw
Rockfoot: a dusty brown tom
Shadefall: a black tom
Cloudfern: a white she-cat with black paws
Apprentice: Dawnpaw
Gorsewhisker: a light grey and white tom
Antheart: a light ginger tom
Apprentice: Stagpaw
Daisypetal: a calico she-cat
Apprentices
Olivepaw: a black and brown tom
Sheeppaw: a fluffy white she cat
Mintpaw: a grey and white tom
Ferretpaw: a dusty brown she cat
Dawnpaw: a calico she cat
Stagpaw: a dark brown tom
Queens
Tigerfur: a beautiful ginger tabby she-cat (expecting Dewnose's)
Kits
N/A
Elders
Vinestep: a dark grey she-cat
Ivyshadow: a silver tabby she-cat