Part 3

A Day in the Life

May 11th, 2003

Ross carefully walked through the labyrinth of noisy, reckless children who were running wild inside the warehouse that was converted into a kid's birthday party venue. He stepped over soft plastic blocks and rubber balls that bounced haplessly across the room. He danced past watchful parents in hopes to avoid bumping into them as they stood in vigil, monitoring their children who were jumping on trampolines and inside inflated bounce houses. He shook his head disapprovingly. He swore to himself that he would never book a birthday party for Ben in a place like this, especially when there were so many museums that they could have visited instead. As far as Ross was concerned, eight was the perfect age to start broadening one's horizons beyond bounce castles and ball pits. He couldn't fathom why they were here when Manhattan was an amusement park of scholastic adventures waiting to be explored.

Ross paused in the middle of the room and smiled as he fondly remembered his first trip to The Museum of Modern Art back when he was Ben's age. While his parents frowned a bit at his request, hoping for him to show interest in something more athletic, they dutifully acquiesced to their favorite child's demands. He was overwhelmed by the exhibits. He felt as if he could have spent hours at MoMA, long after it closed. Regretfully, it seemed that his son was not going to follow in his father's footsteps. Something he felt he could only blame on Ben's mothers.

He always felt like he was in a cold war with Carol and Susan over exactly how to raise Ben and what interests they should inspire him to take up. Often, the two of them would encourage their son to make his own choices before Ross could intervene and offer up his opinion. He had no doubt that was why Ben picked a party venue that would have him jumping, running, and bouncing all afternoon. When Ross finally caught wind of where his son's birthday was going to be, and he tried to steer him towards a more educational theme, Carol and Susan brushed him off and told him to let Ben have his fun. It struck Ross so odd. He would have assumed the gay couple would be the one who would want to infuse some culture into their child.

Suddenly, a purple, soft block hit him on the side of his face, shaking him from his reverie. He looked around in stunned umbrage as he rubbed his cheek.

"Who threw that!"

He narrowed his eyes as he saw both Rachel and Phoebe pointing at each other. He shook his head, realizing it would be a fruitless endeavor to try and ascertain which one of them was the guilty party. Instead, he turned his eyes forward and focused his attention on Chandler, who, was staring wistfully at a baby in a stroller that was next to him.

Ross watched as Chandler began to make faces and blow air from his lips in an attempt to entertain the infant. He seemed to get frustrated that it wasn't working, so he started to flap his arms about and bob his head, which made him look like he was imitating a chicken. It forced a chuckle from Ross's lips and he thought about how lucky a baby would have been to have such a silly man for a father. Then he frowned and silently cursed whatever force was cruel enough to make having a baby almost impossible for Chandler and Monica.

It wasn't fair. There may have been a few times, early on, when he doubted Chandler's ability to be the kind of man that his sister would need him to be for them to ever possibly spend the rest of their lives together, but now, those doubts were long gone. Chandler was the one. They were perfect together. They no doubt would be amazing parents. His sister so organized and in control. Chandler's total lack of awareness at how ridiculous he could be. The child would basically be raised by Mary Poppins and Peter Pan. What kid wouldn't want that?

Ross swiveled his head about trying to see if he could find Monica, yet, he could not locate her. He wondered if perhaps being around all these children so soon after receiving their devastating news was too much for her and she simply had to leave the room, overwhelmed by grief and frustration. He wondered if Chandler was simply trying to maintain a brave face for the two of them so no one else would suspect their melancholy.

When he first found out that they couldn't have children, he had wanted to visit them, or at least lend a sympathetic ear, but Chandler had kept everyone at arm's length for the first few days after he had told them what their fertility test results had revealed. Then, with Ben's birthday fast approaching, the Barbados trip to plan for, and a keynote speech to write, Ross simply could not find the time to stop by their apartment and check on them. He was stunned they were both here. It was over a month ago when they first accepted their invite to the party, long before their doctor's appointment; there would have been no hard feelings if they backed out after everything they had been through. They never asked. Here they were, faithfully celebrating his son's birthday.

He took a few more moments to watch his brother-in-law struggle to make the baby next to him react to his elaborate gestures. His movements were becoming more demonstrative and absurd. Ross decided that maybe Chandler needed some rescuing, or at least, the baby did. He stepped closer to him and flashed him a weak smile. He saw that Chandler noticed him walking over and he looked at him with sympathy in his eyes. Chandler took one more glance at the baby in the stroller and then hopped over to meet Ross halfway. Ross took a deep breath, unsure of what to say.

"Hey."

"Nice party." Chandler looked back at the baby. "Some of your guests though can be real stiffs. I was giving that kid some of my best stuff."

Ross chuckled and looked around. "I'm glad you guys came, but you know you didn't have to, right?"

"What?"

"You know. With everything going on."

"Oh. Right." Chandler looked down and a slow smile formed on his lips.

Ross looked around again. "Where's Monica? Was this too hard for her? Did she have to leave? Did she need a good cry? I wouldn't blame her…"

Chandler started to laugh, cutting his brother-in-law off. He placed his hand on Ross's shoulder for support as he doubled over. Ross's eyes widened as he started to get annoyed at Chandler's over-the-top display of amusement.

He finally gave Chandler a light shove. "What's so funny?"

"I…just…you…" Chandler started to cackle loudly as he leaned against Ross.

"What? I'm worried about my little sister you jerk."

Chandler finally composed himself, straightened up and wiped a tear that his convulsive laughter had squeezed out.

"I'm sorry. It's just, man, you really don't know Monica, huh? You think she's depressed and ran away to be alone?"

Ross scoffed. "No. Well, yeah. Why is that so strange?"

Chandler rolled his eyes. "Here, I'll show you."

He gestured with his head for Ross to follow him, and Ross, with incredulous eyes, shrugged his shoulders and walked behind Chandler.

"Okay, you have to promise not to say anything because Monica wanted us to tell all of you later when we got back."

"Tell me what!" Ross began to seethe again, hating to be left out of the loop when it came to his sister.

Chandler spun around and put his hand over Ross's mouth. "Will you shh! And calm down."

Ross, mumbled underneath Chandler's hand and pointed at it as it was still covering his mouth. "I do not like this."

Chandler removed his hands and gestured for Ross to keep his voice down.

"We decided to adopt."

"What! That's great!" Ross grabbed Chandler and hugged him roughly.

Chandler rolled his eyes and shook his head at his brother-in-law's boisterous behavior. "Thanks for keeping your cool."

Ross released him and backed away. "I'm sorry, it's just, wow, that is so great. Have you guys already started looking into it?"

"Are you kidding me? She's already given me three books to read on the plane ride to Barbados."

Ross nodded and laughed. "Wait, but that doesn't explain where she is."

"I'll show you."

Chandler turned and walked over to a clutch of trampoline courts. Ross followed and could hear excited yelling, enthusiastic squeals and the slap of a rubber ball as it hit its target. He wrinkled his brow in confusion, and he tiled his head as he heard a familiar voice taunting people with loud shouts.

"Come on kid! I can do this all day."

He peered into the court and saw Monica coil her arm up as she threw an oversized, red ball, which crashed into a young kid's leg. The ball bounced back towards Monica and she snatched it up with one hand. She gestured with her thumb towards the entrance to the park.

"You're out too Ginger, why don't you go join Mary Ann outside and you can cry to Joe."

The kid, no more than fifteen, rubbed his leg where the ball had hit him. "Joe? Joe who?"

"Joe Momma! Who's next?" She pointed at a fair-haired teen who seemed to be shaking under her aggressive stare. "You want some Red?"

Ross looked back across and saw three more teenagers who looked to be covering their faces in fear of being her next victim on the court.

Ross turned to Chandler and gestured towards Monica with a confused look on his face.

"She's been in here for forty-five minutes. Some older kids walked by and made a comment about this being a party for babies. They said something about playing dodgeball and before I knew what was happening, Mon was talking trash and challenging them all to a game."

"And you didn't stop her?"

Chandler gestured back towards the birthday party. "Hey, at least she isn't Joey. He's been stuck in the foam pit since we got here."

Ross looked over and nodded somberly. "Yeah, we probably should get him out of there."

Chandler waved him off. "Ahh, he'll be all right."

"What about Monica?"

"Well, as long as nobody presses charges after this, she'll probably be done in time for cake."

Both men winced as they heard Monica bellow loudly again.

"You're out Red!"

Chandler turned to Ross.

"Maybe she'll be done sooner than that."

May 11th, 2004

"Oh! There are my new grandbabies!" Judy Geller rushed across her living room to meet Monica and Chandler as they attempted to work the new double stroller through the door.

Monica, watching her husband struggle with finding the right angle to fit inside, shook her head. "I told you we should have taken them out first."

Chandler rolled his eyes and Judy quickly grabbed the front end and helped them bring the stroller into the house.

"Jack! Erica and Baby Jack are here!"

Monica looked at her mother. "And Monica and Chandler are here too."

"Of course darling, but we see you both all the time! Now give me those babies."

"Okay, just…"

Before Monica could finish, Judy had unbuckled Jack and pulled him into her chest as she cradled him. "Hello Jack. I'm not going to let you go. You're staying right here with grandma all day."

"Mom!"

Chandler leaned over to hush his wife. "Shh. Maybe she doesn't remember how much these things poop. I could use a break."

Monica shook her head as her father bustled into the foyer. "Erica!" He undid her strap and pulled her close to him. "Come with me baby girl. Have I shown you my collection of 45s? I have every Motown single released from 1965-1968."

Chandler looked at Monica. "Does he think she works for a record label or…"

Monica looked down at the empty stroller. "I say we let them keep Jack and Erica and we leave right now. I bet that Best Western we saw on the expressway has a room available. We could be asleep in thirty minutes."

"Hey! You made it!" Ross looked down at the empty stroller and then back up at Monica and Chandler. "Uh, I know you two are new at this, but you're supposed to bring the babies in with the stroller."

Monica mocked laughter and narrowed her eyes at her brother. "Ha, ha. Mom and Dad got them."

Ross laughed and reach over to give her a quick hug. "Oh, okay, well how was traffic?"

"It was fine. I just still have a hard time remembering where Mom and Dad's new condo is. Is there enough room in here for Ben's party?"

"Yeah, but it'll just be family. I promised him I'd take him to a water park this year with some of his friends instead of a big birthday party."

"Is he here yet?"

"Yeah, Carol and Susan are up there in the living room with Rachel and Emma. How are you guys?"

Monica and Chandler looked at each other and exhaled.

"Exhausted."

"Hungry."

"Tired."

"A little crazy."

"Sleepy."

"I never know what time it is anymore."

"Drowsy."

"A little smelly."

Monica snapped back as she looked at Chandler. "I am not smelly."

"From the spit up."

"Well, change your shirt once in a while."

"Why? So they can spit up on a clean shirt. Oh no my friend. I'm on to their game. They won't rest until all my shirts smell like sour milk."

Ross bit his lower lip pensively. "I take it that means it's going well."

Monica laughed. "It is. I mean, it isn't. At all. But we're getting into a groove. Right Chandler?"

"Sure, if by groove you mean losing my mind. Then we are definitely in a groove."

Ross chuckled. "It gets easier."

Monica grabbed him by the collar. "How do you know that! What if it never does!"

Ross uncurled her fingers and winced as he felt some of his skin get pinched in her grasp.

"I thought you were getting into a groove."

"I lied!"

"It's twins Ross! Twins!"

"I know Chandler…"

"We haven't had more than two hours of sleep."

"Let alone time for, you know, canoodling."

Monica turned to face Chandler and shook her head. "I told you, we will have sex again when they are old enough to have their own apartment."

Ross turned around and gestured for them to follow him. "Well, word of advice, take advantage of mom and dad. I know whenever I needed to write a paper, I'd just come see them and they'd play with Ben while I got a few minutes to myself."

"That's a good idea."

Monica nodded. "Maybe I can take a nap."

"Or have a hot meal."

"Oh, and coffee that didn't go cold."

Chandler widened his eyes and turned Monica to face him. "We could have sex!"

"Chandler, if you can do it without waking me up, then go for it."

Ross shook his head. "My little sister everybody."

May 11th, 2005

"Oh Monica! Let me see!" Rachel rushed towards Monica as she entered the restaurant.

"See what? There's nothing to see. I'm only about eight weeks pregnant."

Rachel waved her hands in front of her eyes as an attempt to stifle tears.

"I know. I just need to look at you. Are you glowing yet?" Rachel glanced at Chandler. "Is she glowing yet?"

"Uh…."

Monica shook her head and chuckled. "Rachel. Please."

"I think you're glowing." She hugged Monica tightly and then wrapped her arm around her as she led her to the table.

"I guess I'll just wait here."

Monica looked over her shoulder and let out a silent laugh at her husband before turning back towards Rachel. "Honey. What are you doing?"

"I'm just so happy for you. And excited. I can't believe it! You're going to have a baby!"

Monica smiled a she looked down at her stomach. "Neither can I."

"How did it happen?"

Monica pointed over at Emma who was sitting in a booster seat. "I think you already know how it happens."

"No, I mean, did you guys do anything special…or…"

"We just had a lot of sex."

"Ooo. What's that like?" She then pointed at Monica's stomach. "I'll tell you, if this kid is anything like Emma was when she was two, you might as well just put a closed sign on it, because regular sex is not happening."

"Thanks Rach. I don't know what bothers me more. Hearing about my brother having sex or hearing about my brother not having sex."

"Oh I can't wait to give you all my old maternity clothes and see you get fat again."

"You really know how to bring a party down Green."

Rachel laughed and shook her head as she pulled out a chair. "Have you guys thought about names yet? Oh, do you think the baby will get your hair? I hope so. Oh, and maybe Chandler's eyes…."

"Rach!"

"What?"

"Look, I know everyone found out when my brother blurted it out back at the opening, but I kind of want to wait a bit before we start looking at colleges, okay? At least until the second trimester."

Rachel nodded. "Okay, okay. Well, how do you feel?"

"Tired. Nauseous. Dizzy."

"Yeah, I remember those days. Make sure you sit down when you get dizzy. I fell down once and freaked out until my next doctor's appointment."

Monica nodded as she watched Chandler walk over and smile at her as he took a seat across from her. She then looked around the table.

"Where's Ben?"

"Oh, Carol and Susan are bringing him. They aren't here yet. He's having a big party this weekend, but Ross wanted to have a family dinner with him on his actual birthday."

Monica looked around. "Here? I mean, it's a nice place, but not exactly somewhere a kid would eat."

Rachel rolled her eyes. "I know. I think Ross forgot what it was like to be ten."

Monica looked around once more. "No, actually, this looks like the kind of place he would have picked out at ten."

"Oh, we have to plan a shower!"

"Rach, please. Let's slow down, okay. I just want to get to twelve weeks first."

"Okay, but you have to register early if you want to still get clothes from the fall line."

"The fall line? We're talking about a baby."

Rachel reached over and touched Monica's stomach lightly. "A fashionable baby."

"Monica smiled and chuckled. "It is nice to get all this attention."

"Oh, you have to milk that honey. You need to make Chandler do whatever you want. Wait on you hand and foot until this baby is born."

"You know I can hear you, right?"

Rachel turned to look at Chandler. "I'm not talking to you."

"But I can hear you."

Rachel turned back to Monica and Monica shared a glance with Chandler as they both smiled and shook their heads. A quiet conversation between husband and wife with just a few facial expressions.

"Who's going to be the godmother? Do not say Phoebe!"

May 11th, 2006

Ross dropped a stack of pizza boxes down onto the table in his parents' dining room. He spread out some paper plates and looked over at Carol and Susan.

"Okay. I think I bought every pizza on Long Island. If this isn't enough for Ben and his friends, then we may have to have them checked for parasites."

Carol chuckled as Susan shook her head. "Ross, Ben's a growing boy. He's eleven. If you think he eats a lot now, wait until he is a teenager."

Ross grabbed his stomach as his face turned green. "Don't remind me. In two years, I'm going to have a teenager. How the hell did that happen."

Carol and Susan both shared a smile as they glanced at each other. Susan stepped towards the door to the basement and ran her hand across Susan's shoulder.

"Okay, I'll go get the kids. Ross, why don't you set up the pizza for the adults in the kitchen."

"Fine. Fine."

Ross walked into the kitchen and felt a buzz in the air as Rachel, Chandler and Monica were in the corner speaking low. Their smiling faces and nervous body language belied their hushed tones. Ross walked over and leaned in with a smile on his face.

"What's going on?"

Monica leaned into Chandler and he wrapped his arm around her.

"Okay, don't tell anyone yet, because we wanted to wait to announce it later, but, well, we got a call from the adoption agency and…"

"A girl in Texas picked us!" Monica clapped her hands together as she cut her husband off.

"Really? Oh wow, that's great. Congratulations. Wow. Three kids. Stupid, but great."

He reached over and gave his sister a hug.

"So, how far along is she, when do you guys get to meet her?"

Chandler looked down at Monica and she nodded. "Well, she is only in her third month, and she is very young, so the family decided on a closed adoption."

"What's that?"

Monica squeezed his hand and smiled. "It just means we probably won't meet the mother. We'll just get a call telling us when we should go down."

"Yeah, and things can still go wrong, she could decide she wants to keep the baby…."

"Baby!"

All four of them turn and see Ben standing in the entranceway of the kitchen. He looked frustrated as he stared at his aunt.

"You're having another baby!"

Ross stepped towards his son and smiled. "Adopting Ben. You're Aunt Monica is adopting another baby. Isn't that great news?"

"Well, yeah, I guess, but why does she always have to do this on my birthday?"

"What do you mean."

"Every year all we ever talk about is Aunt Monica and her babies. She keeps….I don't know…stealing my thunder."

Rachel blurted out a laugh, but quickly quieted herself when Monica shot her a stern glare. Monica then walked over and leaned down to talk to Ben.

"Oh, honey, I'm not….." she paused and looked off to the side. "Ah, who am I kidding, that's right. I finally stole someone else's thunder. Me."

"Uh, honey, you know your talking to an eleven-year-old, right?"

Monica waved her husband off. "That's just how it is now Ben. Who knows? Maybe next year, we'll announce your Uncle Chandler is pregnant. The first man to get pregnant, on your birthday!"

Chandler started to look at everyone with shock and horror in his eyes. "What? Why? Why?"

Ben started laughing. "That would be funny. His belly would get all big."

"I know. That would be funny."

"I didn't agree to this."

Monica looked back at her husband and chuckled. She then turned back to Ben.

"I'm sorry that it always seems like this stuff happens on your birthday Ben. We don't mean to steal your thunder."

"It's okay I guess."

"Yeah?"

"Sure. I love my cousins, and this just means that I get a new one every year."

Chandler looked nervously at Ben. "Uh, not every year kiddo. I think we're stopping at three."

Monica laughed and then reached out for a hug. "Thanks for being such a good sport about this."

Ben hugged his aunt and smiled. "You're welcome. Hey, maybe I'll get to meet my new cousin on my next birthday."

"Well, maybe sooner than that. I don't know if I can wait a whole year to introduce our new baby to his amazing cousin Ben."

Ben turned and started to walk out of the kitchen with a slice of pizza in hand. "Yeah. You're right. That wouldn't be fair. I am pretty amazing."