aww you all are so nice in your reviews! I was going to update last night but the election had me stressed. Your kind comments make me feel much better and I'm glad I have this story to focus on and that there are people who enjoy it. please keep reviewing! xxx
"Come Dear," Cora pulled Regina into her bed chambers, neither one of them aware that Granny was just in the adjoining room gathering the Queen's linens to wash. Somehow her mother knew her way around the castle though she'd only been there was. Knowing Cora, she probably had been watching the happenings of the castle for months now via some form of magic. Growing up, she had always been lingering or lurking, waiting for Regina to mess up so she could call her out on it.
"Now get out of those riding clothes, you're filthy," Cora's voice was tinged with disdain as she nudged a lethargic Regina towards the bed. She felt lifeless, like every movement took all of her strength. She'd been so close to freedom before it and every shred of hope she had was ripped form her.
When they'd entered the castle Leopold was sitting in the receiving room, rushing towards them with his best concerned expression and exclaiming that the whole castle was looking for Regina. Cora's fingers dug into her hold on Regina's upper arm deeper at the knowledge that her daughter's attempt at running away was noticed.
Luckily, David was out at the stables with his guards, getting ready to form a search party according to Leopold. He had motioned one of the guards inside to go and tell the others Regina was back and safe, but Cora had drug her up the steps before any of them came inside.
Regina felt numb as she looked down at her riding clothes and began to unfasten the buttons to get herself out of them, remembering the black corset she'd worn earlier tonight. The wine she'd drank before trying to seduce David was wearing off now and a headache was setting in. She felt on edge but completely placid at the same time; like she was drowning but too deprived of oxygen to try to come back to the surface.
Cora was rooting around in Regina's bedchamber, surveying the closet, jewelry box and the quality of the bed linens, "Look at all of this, Regina. You should feel so lucky you live this lifestyle," Her mother came back over towards her with a nightgown she'd pulled from it's hook on the wall.
"I hope you've shown your gratitude to the King for all he's done for you," Cora added and Regina would've scoffed if she'd had the energy or the emotion, but she just stared at her mother expressionlessly. There was no point to fighting her anymore.
"Should I be expecting a grandchild in the near future?" Her mother gave her a grin after nudging her to put her arms up and pulled the gown over her head. The question made her sick to her stomach. Children were another thing she'd long since given up on having. Along with love, freedom and her dignity.
Regina only looked at her mother blankly, still not answering. There was too much going on inside of her head and not enough energy to process it and reply accordingly. She saw Cora's eyebrows draw into a frown and her perfectly painted red lips press into an impatient line.
"Listen to me, my dear girl," She put a hand on Regina's arm and pushed her backwards until she sat on the bed and Cora leered over her. "You will go to the King and you will apologize for being foolish, and from now on, you will conduct yourself as a Queen should. Do you understand?"
There was a bite to her words that promised living hell if Regina did not do as she said. Still she felt nothing, she didn't care to reply to her mother. Her purpose here was to simply be a pretty object next to the King, her life a shell. Cora grew impatient as she waited for her to reply.
"Stupid girl," She muttered with thunderous eyes and Regina only looked at her, "I'll go apologize to him myself for your behavior. And the next time I see you, you had better present yourself so regally I don't recognize my ungrateful brat of a daughter in you."
Granny gripped the towel she held a little tighter as she stood in the doorway of the bathroom, watching Cora go out of Regina's chambers with a firm slam of the door. Dreadful woman.
She watched as Regina's squared shoulders sagged when her mother left the room and she stared into space. The girl was pale, carrying a numb expression that Granny understood too well. She was past heartbroken, she was losing her will to fight. She'd seen David do the same thing after Snow White's death.
"I'm sorry, honey," She stepped out into view, coming into Regina's chamber, "I didn't meant to eavesdrop, I was just in the bathroom." Regina didn't even jump or startle, just lifted her head up to look at Granny. She watched her try to force a smile at her, but her eyes welled with tears and her bottom lip quivered.
"It's okay to cry, girl. Let it out," Granny approached the bed but Regina lifted a hand up to warn her to stop. She couldn't help but notice the bruising fingerprints on Regina's upper arm and her sympathy tripled for the young woman.
"No it isn't, I'm fine," Regina steeled her emotions and Granny could practically see the invisible wall the girl was building around herself. "You may go now."
She shook her head, letting out a deep breath at how absent the sweet and innocent Queen who'd first shown up at the castle seven months ago was. Granny worried if she'd ever be the same.
"Regina," The King entered the room without a knock, swinging open the door as his big frame stepped through it. He looked at her with an expression of relief when he took a few seconds to catch his breath.
"Call for me if you need anything, Your Majesty," Granny nodded with an adamant look at Regina who only bit her lip in reply. She glanced to the King who had only taken a few steps inside the door and was still looking to his Queen before excusing herself to leave the couple alone.
"Regina," David repeated as he came towards the bed, noticing the way she wouldn't look at him or make eye contact. Her shoulders squared and she turned her head to look towards the window at the darkness outside. "What happened? Talk to me."
"There's nothing to talk about," She replied in a tone that eerily mimicked her mother. David had just spoken with Cora who reassured him that her daughter would behave appropriately and he'd only half listened as he tried to get away from her to go speak with Regina.
"I understand why you ran," He took the liberty of sitting on the edge of her bed, reaching for one of her hand which she quickly retracted without looking at him and laid in her lap. He supposed he deserved it. "During my darkest times I would get the urge to run away from it all. But that won't solve anything."
He watched the Queen who still had her face turned away from him slightly scoff and clench her jaw. She was angry, she was battling the darkness, and he'd neglected her for too long. "I'm sorry I haven't been here for you like I should have. I'm sorry I haven't been your partner in this."
"It's not your job to babysit me," Regina gave a shrug and crossed her arms before looking at him with a disinterested expression, "Honestly, you don't have to feel guilty. I'm a big girl, I can take care of myself. I'm not some charity project you have to fix."
At least she was biting back now instead of ignoring him. It meant she still cared. "I never said I wanted to fix you. Hell, I can't even fix myself," David reached out to rest a hand on her knee that she surprisingly didn't push away, "I'm sorry for earlier. I just want to understand what's going inside that head of yours before we make any big steps like that…" He looked at her pleadingly, praying she'd understand.
"We're not in a real marriage, we don't love each other," She stared at him blankly, "I get it. I don't expect anything from you, David. And I'm not a child, I'm old enough to decide if and when I want to sleep with someone."
"And that's the only reason you came to me tonight? Because you wanted to?" He stared her down, holding her gaze to let her know he wasn't going to let her skirt around the subject again.
She eyed him for a long moment, wheels turning as she tried to determine whether or not she should tell him about Leopold. He probably wouldn't believe her and even if he did, what good would it do? She'd already tried to run away, she didn't need to split up a family. "Yes. I made the mistake of thinking you may have wanted to as well. Now can we drop this subject so I can retain at least a shred of my dignity?"
"I'm sorry," David decided not to press her any further, biting down on his bottom lip as he contemplated her mood, "What would you say if…if we made a deal to get to know each other better? Make a real effort…"
"I don't want your attention because you pity me," She laughed bitterly, lifting her chin up. Her face was inevitably flushed, the memories of his rejection earlier haunting her, but she tried desperately not to show how humiliated she felt.
"Regina, I haven't been there for you lately because I knew if I was, there's a good chance I would fall for you rather quickly and I didn't know if I was ready for that," He admitted, watching her eyes shift to her lap momentarily before looking back at him. "I'm saying now, that if you have any interest in it at all, I say we try. What do you think?"
"I think I don't trust you," Regina gave him a frown, "You said months ago that if nothing else we should at least be friends, yet I've seen nothing of you," She smiled bitterly and gave a roll of her eyes.
"I know, that was unfair of me," David pressed his hand against the bed to lean on it as he glanced down, "I really am sorry, there was just a lot that I had to work out for myself…but I hope you'll give me another chance."
She looked at him and felt her resolve lessening the more he spoke. Her mother manipulated her loneliness to bend her to her will and she hoped David was not trying to do the same. Still, she was wary of everyone at this point and she'd learned her lesson with believing people would do what they claimed they would.
"Let me make it up to you," He looked at her sincerely one last time before he stood from her bed. He could tell she had had all she could take in one day's time and needed to be alone. She stiffened when he brought a hand to the side of her head, cupping it lightly as he leaned down and pressed his lips to her forehead in a gentle kiss. "Goodnight."
She didn't answer, just looked up at him with a troubled expression when he pulled away. He knew there were a million thoughts running through her anxious mind and that she needed space. He gave her one last glance when he opened her bedroom door to leave, seeing her staring off into space again. Granny was right, he'd waited too long to be there for her for his own selfish reasons. Regina needed someone to care for her; a reason to carry on. He hoped it wasn't too late.
"You're still here?" David tried not to frown as he walked into the dining hall, seeing Cora at the table with Emma having breakfast the next day. He'd smelled the breakfast from the second story and had been looking rather forward to it until he realized who it would be shared with.
"Yes, thank you for extending the offer for me to stay last night," Cora gave him a sweet smile that made his skin crawl. Though he only knew one or two stories about this woman from Regina, he knew she'd made his wife's life hell.
"It was late, I couldn't have you going back at that hour," David gave a nod, trying not to seem over welcoming as he sat down. He certainly didn't want Cora to think she was welcome here anytime. That was up for Regina to decide how much she wanted her mother around.
"Emma was just telling me she is taking riding lessons," Cora smiled with a false politeness as she looked at the girl, "And I was just getting ready to tell her that her step-mother enjoys horseback riding as well."
Emma's eyes flitted up from her plate with an evident pang of annoyance at the term Cora used before looking to David who pressed his lips into a firm line in warning to be polite. He could tell his daughter was not impressed by her step-grandmother and for once he couldn't blame her for her opposition.
"Of course, Regina was never disciplined enough to become a truly great rider. She always found herself getting…distracted when it came to the stables," Cora added with an edge to her voice that reminded David of her evil deed in crushing Daniel's heart in front of Regina. His blood started to boil at the nerve of the woman to invite herself into his wife's home so casually after what she'd done.
"Good morning," Regina announced her presence at the other end of the table as she approached it, taking a seat opposite David. He could tell by the square of her shoulder's she was irritated by her mother still being there and had probably even heard her comment.
"Good morning, Dear," Cora looked up to her daughter with the same falsely adoring smile she'd given Emma just a moment ago. This woman was a snake. "It's about time you graced us with your presence."
"Good morning, Regina," David ignored Cora, making Regina look at him and giving her a genuine smile in an attempt to make her feel secure. It seemed to work somewhat, seeing a small smile returned to him in her acknowledgement of the gesture.
"Here you are, Your Majesty," Granny came bustling out of the serving kitchen with a steaming plate for his wife. It warmed him to see that Regina had at least one woman who cared for her like Granny did. He watched as Regina glanced up at Granny with an almost apologetic smile when the older lady sat the plate in front of her on the table.
"Thank you," His wife said in a low voice to which Granny responded by putting a hand on his wife's shoulder that suggested she needn't be sorry. He didn't know what happened between them, perhaps Regina had been short with her the night before. Whatever it was didn't seem to bother the older woman.
"Eat up now, girl," Granny fussed, pouring Regina a goblet of juice to go with her breakfast, "You're skin and bones. You need fattening up," She added, making David chuckle.
"I do have to say, this place has done wonders for Regina's figure," Cora piped in then, putting a damper on the motherly exchange she no doubt witnessed going on between Granny and Regina, "I'm sorry, dear. But you know you've always been a little thick around the hips," She chuckled and flashed a playful smile at Emma and David to make it seem like it was all in good humor.
He took a deep breath at the jab, looking up at Regina who diverted her gaze down to her plate with a half-hearted smile to hide her embarrassment. "I think she's perfect," He stated plainly, throwing a pointed look to Cora who visibly shrank back in her chair at a glare from the King.
When he looked back at his wife with a gentle gaze he found her lips were parted slightly in a pleasant surprise at him. She appreciated such simple gestures that it angered him to think what she'd been put through to make her expect so little from those who should care about her. David knew he'd never let himself fail to give her anything but the best again, "Now if you're done being petulant Cora, my family would like to enjoy breakfast."
His mother in law's jaw nearly hit the table on its way to the floor and he heard Emma snicker under her breath. He'd never correct her for it when it came to Cora either. They all waited for a comeback from Cora, a hateful wrath of some sort. Instead she suppressed her glare and picked her fork back up, leaving David to smile smugly at the Queen who returned a grin from ear to ear.
Regina felt relieved when her mother finally left, but the heaviness of depression still weighed her down on her. Though she was quietly relishing in the fact her husband took her mother down a few pegs during breakfast like nothing she'd ever seen before. A wicked smile graced her lips as she replayed the scene in her head on her way to the stables to see if Rocinante had found her way back home yet.
She no longer felt as numb as she was the night before, though she didn't know if it was worse to feel too much or nothing at all. As much as she tried to suppress her emotions, they coiled inside of her and threatened to come out. She tried to be cold and distant, but she failed with people like Granny who showed her genuine kindness. The light and darkness inside her were in constant battle and it was sending her moods haywire.
With each passing day the darkness grew. It brought up old memories of Daniel, of her mother's abuse, of her father's cowardice, of Leopold's threat, of David's rejection. Her heart was full of anger but ached for love at the same time. There was a constant twisting and turning in her gut; the anger making her want to do something about her situation and the feeling that she was trapped making her anxiety skyrocket.
David had claimed he was going to make an effort, but she didn't believe him. Not yet. He was still in love with Snow, otherwise when she'd been in his bed the other night they would have consummated their marriage without hesitation. When they'd left breakfast this morning he'd even been called out by one of his councilman to attend to an issue involving the kingdom and she assumed that he would go back to busying himself with things outside of the castle. He meant well, at least.
As she made her way into the stables she heard activity on the inside, taking a deep breath when she came close enough to hear Emma's voice talking in a soft tone. When she came into the stable's enough to see her, all thoughts of her step-daughter was forgotten as she found the horse Emma was groomed was hers.
"Rocinante!" Regina said with a smile as she quickly approached the horse and pressed her forehead against her muzzle, "Good girl."
"This is your horse?" Emma asked, causing Regina to lift her head and remember that they weren't alone. "I came to go for a ride and found her waiting near the stables. She was a little muddy and her hair was tangled so I…" The blonde didn't finish her sentence, just shrugged towards the mare's finely brushed coat.
"Thank you," Regina found herself saying to the girl she had envisioned falling off a horse to her death multiple times. Irony really was a bitch sometimes.
"You're welcome," Emma replied as Regina made over Rocinante, cupping her muzzle in her hands and kissing her nose, not noticing the girl watching her curiously, "So your mom...has she always been like that?"
Regina was surprised at Emma attempting conversation with her but she lifted her head to reply anyways, "Yes, that's Cora," She pressed her lips together with a frown, "I'm sorry if she said anything to offend you." There she goes, apologizing to the little twit again.
"No, she was too busy insulting you," Emma raised an eyebrow as she turned to run the brush over Rocinante's side again, "My mother would've never said anything like that to me."
She glanced over the mares muzzle at Emma, watching her using the hand brush, "I've gathered your mother was very loved. She must've been a good person," Regina inquired gently. Although it was different circumstances, she understood how it felt to long for a mother.
"The best," Emma smiled weakly, keeping her gaze focused on the horse and her hands busy while Regina stood near the mares head, lazily stroking her. She had to admit it was nice to see this side of the girl after bickering with her for months. "The castle used to be full of fun and laughter when she was around."
"So I've heard," Regina nodded slowly, "I know your father misses her terribly."
Emma glanced towards Regina at the mention of her father, "He likes you, you know."
"He doesn't, he's just being nice to me is all. He's good man, but you have nothing to worry about," She reassured the girl, hoping to build at least one ally here with her.
"I mean it," She let out a breath as if she didn't want to admit it, "I've seen a change in him. He's not as grumpy, he actually speaks to me now. And while you two were avoiding each other he got grumpy again."
Regina tried to stamp out the ember of hope that flamed up in her chest at Emma's words, "Thank you, but I don't think that has to do with me."
Emma rolled her eyes, "I'm not trying to trick you or anything. I just hope you like him too because he doesn't open up very often and I don't want to see him get hurt."
"I would never intentionally hurt David," She reassured her with a frown.
"You better not," Emma leveled with her seriously, making irritation spike in Regina at the insinuated threat before the blonde let out a laugh. "Wanna go for a ride?"
Regina raised an eyebrow when she caught on that the girl was only joking, "I was already going on a ride, I suppose you could join me."
"All right," Emma turned to put the brush down and make her way over to her horses stall, "But this doesn't make us best friends or anything."
She caught the hint of playfulness in Emma's tone before replying with her own, "Never."