A/N (1) Previously on Chuck versus The Journey: We are in 2008, and the story picks up when Chuck is greeted by Bryce Larkin instead of the woman he wanted to see at the end of "Chuck Versus the Seduction". Their conversation was not pleasant - at least not for Chuck, who assumes (as Bryce is dressing and the shower can be heard in the bathroom) that Larkin and Walker celebrated a hot reunion. While I can't imagine what really happened, I am as curious as you, so we better take a look now at what Sarah's doing in the bathroom.
I don't own Chuck, and Sarah apparently doesn't either, or much of the show would have run differently.
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If she knew what she wants,
(He'd be giving it to her).
If she knew what she needs,
(He could give her that too).
If she knew what she wants,
(But he can't see through her).
If she knew what she wants,
He'd be giving it to her,
Giving it to her.
"If She Knew What She Wants" (Jules Shear)
Chapter 3: Chuck vs. The Lady In Red
She was 130 pounds of youth, beauty, and sex appeal. She wore the first with the self-understanding that is reserved only for the young, the second with subtle knowledge, and the last like precious lingerie from Victoria's Secret - and she hardly wore anything else.
To say she stepped right out of a Playboy shoot would have been an insult to her appearance, although the photographer's camera certainly would feast on her. The setting in the large bathroom with its high, white-painted double doors indeed would fit for such an occasion. The walk-in shower where a naked Playboy Bunny could frolic was complemented by an old-style freestanding bathtub that evoked dreams of bubble baths, flickering candles, and Champagne on a small side table.
Standing barefoot, a good deal of her 5-foot 9-inch frame was found in her elegant and finely trained legs, which would have made her the star dancer of the Can-Can troupe at the Folies Bergère. She wore nothing except red panties, her right hand holding an equally red dress to her chest, while the left smoothed it over her torso. She took a scrutinizing look at herself in one of the two ridiculously small mirrors.
"I wish I knew what we're up to. Especially which man I'll be with tonight," Sarah said as she kept checking out her red dress. "Bryce should tell us now. I hate surprises."
Another tall woman featuring red hair, lively green eyes, and a constant, slightly provoking smirk stood in the shower. She was naked and covered most of herself by pulling the greyish, leaves-patterned shower curtain over her body with one hand.
"Bryce knows that. He's playing mind-games with you," Carina said. "Always did that with you. He'll let the cat out of the bag soon, I'm sure, but he likes to keep you on your toes for a bit."
Sarah nodded silently. It had been much worse, but she couldn't speak to Carina about it – actually to no one.
"So, which one you want? " the redhead asked. With a generous expression, she added, "I'll take Chuck, so you can have your Bryce."
Sarah turned to face Carina, shaking her head slowly.
"He's not my Bryce. And we'll have to wait for orders."
"It's always like that, is it? We get all dolled up while someone else sets the rules for the game we have to play."
Sarah shot Carina an ironic look. "Is that why you always improvise?"
"Sure is, Sarah! I work best when I follow my instincts, when I'm free to do whatever I think suits the moment best. Speaking about freedom, that's a nifty dress. Show me the backside?"
Sarah wordlessly turned the dress in her hands around for a few seconds.
"Yeah, as I guessed, no bra, so, free them puppies," Carina commented. "Those two strings crisscrossing on the back will nicely hold the front like cups."
Sarah knew Carina was right. The front side supported her almost like a bikini top.
"But heaven help any guy if you lean deeply towards him." Carina let go of the curtain and threw both arms in the air: "Boom… another head exploded!"
Sarah laughed. It had been a while since the two were so comfortable together. The CAT squad had not always resided at the Hilton or the best place in town. Mission parameters dictated where they would stay. It was not the rule, but from time to time, they also shared a room, and it was always Sarah and Carina sharing. The older agent saw her as the squad's nestling and took Sarah under her wings, but she often had peculiar ways of doing so.
Sarah had dressed for a mission a million times before, but this time was different. For almost a year, she posed as Chuck's girlfriend. It would be natural that they went on this mission as a couple as well. Her spy senses told her that possibly she would not be his partner tonight, but she clung to the idea nonetheless. It would be risky and thoughtless if she suddenly appeared as Mrs. Anderson with Bryce.
So she made a conscious decision: She wanted to look special for Chuck Bartowski.
Sarah slipped into the red dress that clung perfectly to her curves. The reverse side was open almost all the way down to her hips. Chuck would get a magnificent view of her well-trained yet feminine back. She feared that he would only see her from a distance, but she hoped he would catch for whom she made the extra effort. Contentment filled her because she knew he would be reduced to this cute, goofy adoration that she had seen several times before, but never acted upon. She either ignored him or shot him down, confused by her own awakening feelings, which were so wonderfully exciting and terrifyingly scary at the same time.
"You're pretty enough, Sarah," the other woman from now behind the curtain shook her out of her reverie. "Larkin doesn't care what clothes or make-up you wear; it's other values he's interested in," she giggled.
Sarah was not in the mood for innuendo, especially as it was about the wrong man. "Why don't you drown yourself in the shower?" she recommended in a friendly fashion.
"No, really," Carina's voice came over the running water. "Bryce knows the package; no need to spend much time wrapping it. Tell me, is it strange now for you to be with him? I mean," she giggled again, "don't you feel necrophiliac when he boinks you?"
"I could switch on the hairdryer and throw it into the shower. Should work," Sarah riposted half-heartedly.
"Hey! You would miss my wit and wisdom. What about it now?"
Sarah was eyeing the hairdryer with growing interest, but once more tried to reason with her friend: "As an agent, I will work with Bryce when I am ordered to. As a man, I buried him a couple of months ago. Is that enough?"
Carina made a sound like an annoyed duck, "Geez, our little drama queen! You always were the one of us who took things too seriously."
Sarah's mind was somewhere else. She thought of the moment a few weeks ago when Chuck entered the Orange Orange and, after some chit-chat, got to the point why he really was there.
"You know, he asked me out on a real date," she mused.
"What? Bryce? Since when does he waste time on a romantic date?"
"No, not him."
"Not him… oh, him! The nerdmaster!"
Sarah snickered. "Nerdmaster," she mumbled affectionately. "It began as a nice evening-" she started, and Carina continued for her: "And ended as a hot night?"
If Carina only knew! Yeah, it ended as a hot night, but much differently than Carina suggested when Mr. Colt crashed the date.
I enjoyed the evening so much. I played with Chuck. Just a little, no harm done, no offense taken by him. As the evening progressed, I allowed my feelings to the surface. He was right: In a week, I would be at the other end of the world. What's more, he seemed to accept it. I assume he was simply trying to preserve a memory of me that was not bloody, sweaty, and fresh out of a fight.
While he talked and I teased, I became aware that I was falling. He was so incredibly cute, and I'm not talking about eight-year-olds. He was fantastic, and I told him so - all the things he endured from me and for the country. You have to be pretty fantastic to put up both with Sarah Walker and the US of A. But I was determined not to treat him as a one-night-stand and then vanish out of his life forever. Since vanish I had to, I would not sleep with him.
But my defense was crumbling faster than the fortune cookies we got. Chuck was so relaxed and, as always, quick-mouthed and openhearted. About everything. I would have known if he had ulterior motives, but there was no trace of a hidden agenda. It seemed OK to him whatever would or would not happen. The longer we played the charade, the more I knew this was dangerous ground. He was charming my pants off of me, and he didn't even know it. I loved it. I invited him with long, loving glances, my body language, and my voice. I can have a playful, dreamy tone with a tinge of husky erotic mixed in that is working better than a written invitation or giving a glimpse of what I've got. Did I play? Oh yes. I played the game of a woman who wants to have the date ending with breakfast. Did I act? Damn, no, I didn't have to act!
Then we were about to kiss. I leaned in to meet Chuck's lips half-way. I felt such tender, but until now stifled, desire that I instinctively knew: The moment that kiss ended, the rest of the night would begin. I would throw some uncounted money on the table, take his hand and a taxi to my hotel, and make memories we both would never forget. He would know that, while technically it was, it wouldn't be a one-night-stand. He would know that I will cherish this year with him, and due to my foolishness, only one single night together, forever. It would be the climax of a year of dancing around each other, teasing each other, fooling each other, hurting each other… wanting each other.
Carina's voice interrupted her thoughts, as welcome as an aching tooth the afternoon before you fly off to vacation, "So? Do I need to come out so you will tell me? Shot him down again?"
I hurt him so many times it wouldn't have mattered anymore, but not this time. Still, telling Carina the truth is out of the question.
"The question of shooting down does not come up in our situation at all, because-"
Disdain fizzed as richly out of Carina's voice as the water drops from the shower: "Yeah, the asset. Always business, some BS you give me. Whatever you did, you never did it with him, eh? You didn't have so many objections regarding Larkin."
No one could exasperate Sarah as fast as Carina. Ok, leave the top spot open for Chuck Bartowski when he acts like a six-year-old whose favorite toy had been taken away.
"Bryce was my partner, Chuck is my asset. What's so hard to understand?" Sarah curtly snapped.
Oh my God, I don't understand it myself. It's such a weak excuse. I'm such a wreck of a human being.
"Irrelevant, Sarah! What do they have in common?"
When Sarah didn't answer, the curtain was drawn back, and Carina peeked out, impatience written all over her face.
"They're men, my child, they're men. You know, those hairy things with a thousand hands. Both want you. If two men wanted me, I'd take both, but if you are keen on going exclusive, take your pick and have fun. Might be unhealthy, though, to live monogamously."
The curtain closed and swiftly opened again, a curious Carina looking out from the other side. It happened so fast one could think there were twins behind that curtain.
"Don't say you didn't bed the nerd because you're still pining for Larkin?"
Sarah slowly was getting annoyed.
"I wonder where you get those crazy ideas. I'm pining as much for Bryce as you want to become a nun, Sister Carina. It's none of your business, but the answer is no. Bryce is a fellow agent, and possibly, my cover husband on this mission."
He didn't tell me any details, but he mentioned our cover name, the Andersons, repeatedly, so I have to assume he already knows more than we do.
Carina was trying to wrap her mind around everything Sarah explained.
"So you didn't lay Chuck and didn't wait for Larkin. What did you do all year long? Cold showers or long showers?"
Sarah didn't answer, wondering if she should stuff Carina in the bathtub and find a lid for it to lock her away firmly, but the redhead was insistent.
"So, long showers, no need to answer. It's not too late, you still could join me here… again."
Sarah shuddered, her musings interrupted by the memory Carina was referring to.
Sludge, grime, and frustration had been the Cat Squad's constant companions during a three-week mission exploring several nickel mines in Brazil years ago. Rumors had it that Augusto Gaez and the "Gentle Hand" had their headquarters hidden in one of those mines, but the Cats came up with nothing but dirt. Amy was the lucky one: Suffering from a nickel allergy, she could stay put in her room. Not that the rooms they occupied in various small towns were something to write home about: Their cover as three back-packing college students on tour with their geology tutor explained why they visited some relatively remote locations. It also had other consequences: Sarah and Carina shared a room and a bed, and Zondra and Amy did likewise.
"I've had plenty of that for a lifetime, thanks!" Sarah replied dryly.
"You only know what you're missing when you try it!" Carina retorted.
The worst thing though was that in these places there was only so much water available each day. Consequently, to use the short time window when release from all the dirt was flowing, they had to shower together. Sarah had a hard time convincing Carina that the only way they touched each other was to rub the mire off their backs. She attended to the task stoically but had to fight off Carina's hands roaming more than her back repeatedly. The redhead's blunt advances continued into the bedroom, and Sarah fitfully slept the first couple of days. Those hypnotizing green eyes, and hands so obviously well-experienced were tempting, but Sarah was not interested. Her life was complicated enough. Most annoyingly, she sensed that Carina was messing with her out of mere boredom, as the hicksvilles from where they operated did not offer any kind of adequate male meat to devour for Carina.
"You were just bored out of your mind, Carina, because there weren't any men to have and none to rough-up either, just that endless dirt."
"But we did have fun, did we?"
The look on Sarah's face was comically astounded.
"Carina, your idea of fun certainly isn't what one gets when looking up the word in Merriam-Webster's. Do I need to remind you that we nearly lost you?"
On the fourth day, an overzealous Miller improvised once more and caused a minor landslide, which nonetheless would have been her end if Sarah had not pulled her out, reaching the limits of her strength. She dug into the earth with bare hands, found Carina's head, and pulled at her hair. Then Sarah used her arms to shove away layers of wet mire. After what seemed an eternity, she had most of Carina's body uncovered. She was unconscious, her face still smeared with dirt, her eyes and nose and ears full of it. Sarah checked her mouth and was relieved to find that it had been firmly closed, but worried that she did not breathe. Applying mouth-to-mouth respiration immediately, she found Carina's eyes suddenly staring at her. A moment of confusion was followed by a weak smirk, and a pained groan as the dirt in her eyes took its effect. Sarah leaned back, grabbed her field flask and a cloth, and began to clean her friend cautiously. When she had sufficiently completed the task, Carina began to tremble from the shock. Sarah found herself holding the other woman in her arms, wishing there was someone who could soothe her in those hours when she needed a friend. When the trembling waned, Carina locked her eyes with Sarah giving her a look she never saw before and would never see again. As impossible as it was, there seemed to be genuine gratitude and friendship. It disappeared as fast as it came. For the rest of the mission, Carina was a lamb. Although her mouth was as foul as always, there weren't any further attempts of intimacy. Not then and not anytime later.
Sarah took a last scrutinizing look at her face. The two wall lamps in old country house style were a bit too dainty to fit the appearance of the woman in front of them, but their smallish lampshades out of an orange-yellow fabric applied a faint, warm, and delicate tint to her skin. The make-up was perfect.
Sarah stooped to reach for her shoes and felt the long dress tightening over her, thus breathtakingly accentuated, derriere, at the same time showcasing her endless legs. The only wicked detail of tonight's attire was a slit on the side of the dress, but unless she had to kick some ass, it was up to her to literally step out.
Chuck would like that, would he? After all, he was a man. She knew he would not gape at her, but he would blush. She would see his crimson face and his reddish ears and be tickled pink about it. Right from the start, his response to her had been genuine. Chuck treated her with openness and respect she never had experienced before. Looking back, she conceived that she had subliminally welcomed his attitude from the start, long before she accepted it in earnest in the past few days. The recent ill-fated date had been a turning point that didn't materialize, but hopefully, she could re-establish the connection between them tonight.
Sarah was saved from further chit-chat when they heard voices outside.
"That's Chuck!" she exclaimed, surprised. "What's he doing here? Casey should call him over to Castle later!"
"Shh, quiet now," Carina fumbling for an orange towel hissed. "I'm gonna surprise him."
Sarah rolled her eyes towards the ceiling but was only too happy not to exchange any more quips. Chuck was here! Her mind was racing with possibilities as she put on her shoes. It couldn't be helped that there was Bryce as well, but still, she could find out how Chuck reacted to her appearance. While they were preparing for a mission, her room was a private setting where she could expect honest feedback.
Sarah took a deep breath, opened the door, and left the bathroom. Two male heads turned her way.
She looked out-of-this-world stunning. She wore more make-up than usual, yet had painstakingly avoided to paint herself sultry or too sexy. Her face was radiant with beauty, and the make-up emphasized her youth.
"Hey, guys! So how do I look like?" she asked, glancing at Larkin. But then her eyes shifted to Chuck. She rested a warm, hopeful, and almost shy smile on him, transporting a simple message: I like to be pretty for you.
It was totally lost on Chuck. He was quite worked up from his unpleasant conversation with Larkin. All he could see was Sarah Walker dressed up to the nines for her cover husband, partner, former, and, as it looked, current lover.
"Oh, yes, nice dress. Red's not my color, though, or salmon or is that an Orange-Orange orange, anyway, nice, nice, but I don't care too much for these colors. I have to refer to Bryce to judge this... garment."
He waved to the addressed man with a dismissive gesture and looked away. He could not stand to watch her.
Chuck thought, She certainly spared no effort to look strikingly beautiful for Bryce. I was a dreamer, nothing but a dreamer, to hope that such a woman would be interested in me. She sent me all those hints and hidden messages to keep me in line. I'm the asset, she's the handler, he's her partner.
Sarah was as shocked as if Chuck had slapped her in the face. Her breath became shallow. Her lips parted in disbelief and disappointment.
If Chuck only had bestowed her one single glance, the confused hurt in her eyes and her lost mien would have told him more than she ever could have said in words. Alas, he did not.
It was Bryce Larkin who followed the scene with narrowed eyes. He was a good spy, and he read both of them immediately. He chose to ignore it for the time being and smiled at her.
"Darling, you look wonderful tonight! C'mon, Mrs. Anderson, let's head over the Castle and find our wedding rings!" he fawned, extending his right elbow to offer her his arm. Sarah ignored him and walked to the door. He watched his empty arm with an arched eyebrow for a second and then followed her quickly.
Chuck stared at Sarah's bed as if it could tell him if anything happened there before he arrived when her parting words filtered through to him. Without looking back, she reminded him with a cold voice, "Don't take too long. Beckman will brief us in thirty!"
Bryce shouted over his shoulder, "But wait for agent Miller!"
And then they were gone.
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A/N (2) I am happy as anyone that Sarah seems to have done some deep thinking since the prologue, but looks like we need to work on Chuck's attitude and timing a bit until we can proclaim the happy end. That means I can't stop writing yet.
A/N (3) As the big guys and dolls always say: Feedback is welcome!