Summary: Inuyasha Sins and Virtues Week.2021.
A/N: Due to the r related stuff and a sudden, unplanned visit to a little world I have created with my best friend in high school, this year I'm adding only one story for Inuyasha Seven Sins Week event.
Purity
A miko strives to be perfect and pure. She tends to the shrine and those under her care. She worships her kami and fends off youkai, that prey on the meek. She is the epitome of grace, kindness and wisdom. For her virtues, sacrifices and self-control the kami bless her with strong reiki.
This was the truth she had always followed, the path she had never ventured off of She'd lived her entire life, striving for the elusive perfection, sacrificing her daydreams and working so hard to maintain the favor of the kami, the purity and virtue that miko ought to embody.
Kikyou had been humble, kind and generous, patient beyond words, dignified and serene. And yet, her powers waned, her life ended prematurely ad she hadn't have anything she'd ever wanted.
And now she was forced to see that girl child and the injustice of life after already suffering through so much.
How could she, that foolish girl, be blessed more than Kikyou had been? How could she behave as she did and yet still retain reiki so strong and pure?
She ate so much, not even trying to hide how much she consumed and loudly asking for seconds. Kikyou had always tried to eat so little, so she could make sure that she could share with others.
She was so lazy, taking so long to collect the shards, that many suffered because of it. She needed to be woken up every morning long past dawn and took the unnecessary breaks to slip into the old dry well. Kikyou in her life had always woken before dawn, working diligently and quickly.
Even when she was on the mission, she couldn't focus on her work, she got distracted by men fawning over her and flattering her unnecessarily. She even sought the physical contact and intimacy with Inuyasha. She held his hand, touched him so casually, kissed him, while Kikyou had been too afraid to even think about him in a way a woman thinks of her husband.
She truly had no shame, loudly boasting about every little victory, as if she was the one that had done all the work. She looked people in the eye without dropping her gaze, as if she was some princess, not a usurper tot he title of Shikon Miko. Kikyou had always been humble, taking silent joy in performing her duties well and not looking for recognition or praise.
And she always wanted more. More praise, more food, more items, more attention from Inuyasha. How could those people stand her bossy, greedy behavior? Kikyou had possessed so little, she had never voiced her dreams to have something. Only once she had told someone of her desires and all it had brought was misery and death.
She had so little control over her emotions and let the rule her. Her anger flared so often, at the slightest bit not going her way. Compared to the disciplined miko Kikyou had been in life the girl was like a spoiled child throwing a tantrum every half an hour.
She had seen the look in the girl's eye every time she crossed her path, the envy that shone darkly in her heart. It was only right that the girl was jealous of her dignified, silent power, of her beauty and purity. She had all that Kikyou had ever wanted, a chance of a normal life and recognition as a good priestess, but she risked it away by indulging in sins and not working to get rid of her flaws.
Even in her dead heart something hurt when Kikyou spied on the girl and her friends. How could this foolish creature get so much more than she had had without paying the same price as her?
Life wasn't fair.
The kami were capricious beings, bestowing power upon humans regardless of their purity, it seemed.
Resentment and regret filled her dead heart as she walked away from the camp fulled with light and laughter, where her former lover and her reincarnation played a foolish card game against their friends.
She had sacrificed her daydreams, She had worked so hard to retain her waning power. She had done her best to live up to the expectations the society had for her.
She had died alone, feeling betrayed and used. She had lived reattached from everyone, looking down at every weakness in herself and in others. For what had been her efforts? She had never asked for what she wanted, she had pushed deep inside every speck of what made her herself.
And now she was forced to watch this foolish girl child, who didn't shy away from others, who embraced her weaknesses and accepted others despite their flaws. Who yelled at Inuyasha, but never left him to deal with his traumas and wounds alone. Who scolded Miroku going too far by groping Sango, but who had no trouble offering and accepting physical contact appropriate to the situation. Who forgave Sango's betrayals because she understood the deep despair and sisterly love that pushed Sango to do so. Who willingly became a mother to a youkai kit, never sinking into the blind hatred towards all youkai because of the vile deeds of some. She accepted the impurities in others and spoke about her desires with freedom Kikyou had never experienced.
Kikyou couldn't understand the future-born girl's actions, the source of her pure reiki beyond her comprehension. She made mistakes and yet, her power grew by day while Kikyou had been so focused on being the perfect, pure miko, grasping desperately at her waning reiki. How could it be that this stumbling child ha not only more power, but also all the little and great things Kikyou had never dare to dream about?
Where was the error of her ways? Was her desire to be pure not the right way to achieve it? Should she have done it like her reincarnation did, accepting her flaws and embracing her true self?