Another set of bad dreams, full of anxieties and spirits, the incomprehensible and irrational. It's put him in a rotten mood, not that anyone could ever guess, how could someone like Egon Spengler be susceptible to something as meaningless as a nightmare? Well, if one were someone like Egon Spengler, one would probably be aware of the connection of the metaphysical and physical, the seen and unseen, existing at once in the same place and the same time from the beginning to the end of all things, intertwining and co-mingling, creating and destroying, in some terrible and beautiful cosmic dance of dichotomies. Life and death, existence and non-existence, quantum being, so on and so forth. In short, a nightmare could, and most probably does, mean something.
In short, he wasn't a superstitious man, but he was a founding member of the Ghostbusters.
He finds a gray hair on his temple and suddenly all the vague and barely perceptible discomforts have a focus. He isn't ignorant, this isn't news to him, people die every day. Still. He can hear Dana and Peter downstairs, you'd think a firehouse would have thicker walls, but this place was never as structurally sound as he would have liked. They argue here rather than at home, away from Oscar. Momentarily, Egon will wander downstairs, and they'll look up, unaware that anyone was in the firehouse so early in the morning. In all honesty, he hasn't left since three days ago, but he won't correct them.
He muses upon the uniquely human aversion to change, how well-practiced people become at deflecting and avoiding the ultimate conclusion that they cannot survive as they are, and in order to continue, must adapt. What evolutionary origin does this own? Perhaps it was an oversight, a mistake in nature, overzealous adaptation takes over, makes mankind too smart, too fast. He wonders how these behaviors are reflected in ghosts. Are spectral behaviors natural to the deceased, or are they an inheritance of their Earthly, human forms? He wishes he could find a prehistoric human spirit, but perhaps Ray's theories are correct, and the less humanoid ghosts were once humans, and time has degraded the spirit.
Not even the dead are immune to time.
Not too long from now a new threat will come to their understanding of reality. A demon whose name is Legion, for it is many, will declare war upon the Ghostbusters and their main weapon, science. Legion, who is as old as the oldest living star, believes in a balance between life and death, accusing the scientists of throwing that natural order into chaos. Righteous, Legion enters into a supernatural arms race against them, seeking destruction of the living over re-establishing the balance.
All things die, Legion says, why not let it all die now?
Peter will be glib in the face of total annihilation, he'll make some snarky comment that the humorless Legion will not understand. Peter will smirk and take a heavy step towards the transdimensional monster, and he will be thinking of Dana and Oscar. Winston will think of his parents, and Ray will put his hand on Egon's shoulder. Egon will look, and Ray's face will be both sad and happy, proud and dismayed. Ray will force a smile and grip harder on Egon's shoulder, and it'll be like they're back in college, sneaking around stealing lab equipment, hunting ghosts. Them versus the world.
And Egon will be calculating the necessary energy needed to convert the demonic quantum field and invert it. He will be trying to remember his Samarian, and recalling the designs of demon circles he saw back in his parents' basement in their ancestral home.
And he will think, ever so briefly, about how emotions are untapped energy sources. That unseen to their eyes, auras are spiraling out from their bodies like solar storms, interacting and exploding around them. Peter's remorse and fear and love. Winston's bravery and familial attachments. Ray's overwhelming selflessness, and his intense desire for more time. They will collide between them, palpable but wordless.
Egon will think that he could linger on his own emotions. He could indulge in the passions for just a moment and be terrified, and angry, and loving. But these things are not necessary. Bathed in the humanity of his friends, he's already decided what he will do. Demon circles require a blood sacrifice, some more than others. And when his time comes he will not be afraid.
But that moment is far from this moment. This moment is in the early morning at the firehouse, where Dana and Peter are arguing, and Egon is making himself coffee. Dana, unnecessarily embarrassed and rightfully frustrated, leaves, she's got work at the Museum which she now curates. Peter is left alone and asks for his own cup of coffee. He sighs and puts his head down on the table. Egon serves him and hovers above him.
"Yes, mom?" Peter asks.
"What you're doing is unsustainable." Egon tells him.
"How did I know you were going to say that?" Which in Peter-speak means "Shut up."
"Dr. Venkman, you are the founder and owner of your own successful business, a renowned New York celebrity, the discoverer and one of the four main authorities on a new science more vitally important to the human race than perhaps any other science, and you have saved the world on multiple occasions. When will that be enough?"
In the far off moment, when the Ghostbusters are fighting Legion, Peter will lock eyes with Egon from across a deteriorating cavern. A light will shine through a demon circle from another dimension and consume Egon. And Peter will think of these words, "When will that be enough?"
Egon Spengler's parents never lived to old age, but he suspects they haunted the halls of their New York apartment. Establishing communication proved futile, and in time, he felt their spirits slip away. Where they went he cannot be sure. They were scientists themselves, partners who used science and alchemy. They died in a demon circle too. He was too young to know the details, but as he pricks his own finger and writes in his own blood, he recognizes the design he creates. It's a protection circle.
Egon told Ray and Peter about his parents one night in their university dorm. They were celebrating Peter's passing grade and had combined their money to buy as much cheap beer and champagne as possible. Egon was on his bed, his back straight against the wall, it was cold on his exposed neck. Ray complained about his parents' not understanding his ambitions, and Peter grumbled something about a deadbeat father, and Egon, believing it only right to divulge similar information tells them of the gruesome demise of his parents, and the even more gruesome discovery of them as broken blood stains on their basement wall. He talks about their wandering spirits. The moments the kettle would turn on randomly, or when his textbooks would fly across the room. He talks about the nights he'd go to bed, and he'd see his parents as dark shadows, watching him from the corner of his room.
Peter and Ray stared at him, and cautiously Ray asked "Egon, are you trying to find your parents?"
He had not considered this.
But from then on, he gets invited in Ray's Thanksgiving and Christmas, where he gets to spend time with Ray's normal family, who ask uneducated questions about their new business and discipline. They laugh politely at what they think are Egon's jokes. And when they're both tired of social pleasantries, Ray goes out onto the porch for a cigarette and Egon joins him. They watch the snowfall and don't have to say anything at all. It is here, Egon Spengler is his happiest. Because this is enough.
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