When she next awoke, she was alone in that same room she had been brought to. She felt groggy and sluggish, opening her heavy eyelids to soft golden light. She found it harder to tell herself that it wasn't real; it felt real and it felt right and it felt wrong.
Part of her would rather go back to where things made sense. Not to say she enjoyed waiting in Master's chambers every night, or that she knew what Master wanted or what he was thinking, but expectations were clear - even when she fought against them.
But another part of her didn't want to leave. Here, she was cared for; here, people spoke to her with familiarity; here, Master's body guard, the elf who always felt like a piece of her own puzzle, was an intimate aspect of her life; here, she had a name. Despite the gaping hole on her memories, everything fit in a way she couldn't explain.
Perhaps that was why she couldn't escape; she didn't want to - not really.
She spread her fingers against the soft maroon fabric beneath her, enjoying the feel of the bizarrely familiar bed. Everything in this dream was too real; the sensations were too solid, too consistent; the emotions were too strong, too up-front.
Perhaps this was the real world. Perhaps she had just woken up from being trapped the Fade. It would explain a few things - the familiarity for one. Perhaps she had been trapped by a demon these past few months who was devouring her memories to fuel its power, so these other mages had to go to a place of power to bring her back. But her collar was real, still ensnaring her neck like an anaconda.
Besides all of that, none of the demons seemed to fit this kind of dream. The two most likely suspects, Desire and Sloth, would not have gone to such lengths to make her prison believable. Plus, once she had called out the demon, it should have revealed itself.
There was another idea that she didn't like to entertain: perhaps this wasn't the doing of a demon, but her master. Perhaps he crafted a fantasy life for her that held some similarities to the gaping hole in her mind to lull her into a sense of security and eventually break her. She wasn't sure where to place the possibility of this, as although Master was clever and crafty he was also cocksure and much more likely to believe that he wouldn't have to go through such extreme measures to cut her down.
A soft knock sounded from the door. She didn't move. After a few moments, the door opened and light padded footsteps crossed the room. The middle aged dwarf with a brown hair and beard came up by the side of her bed.
"Ah, so you're awake," the dwarf observed, "You slept the whole day away, messere; you must have been absolutely exhausted. Are you feeling alright?"
Her tired eyes gazed at the dwarf, then after a few moments, she relented with, "Better. I think."
He gave a soft smile to her then and said, "Very good. I know you can take care of yourself, but I admit, you worry me when you go out on your excursions. I'm sure you're famished, so I'll just get some fruit together while I prepare something more substantial. Take care of yourself, milady." With that, he gave a short bow. As he turned around to leave the room, she sat up in the bed with a disbelieving look on her face, but she didn't stop his departure.
That last word lingered in the air, incapable of penetrating beneath her skin. Minutes passed and she was unable to move from her spot. When the dwarf finally returned, he had a large silver tray filled with grapes, blackberries, elderberries, and strawberries, each sorted into silver dishes with delicate floral embellishments crafted along the rims.
"And here you are," he said, placing the tray on the bed before her feet, "Summer's finest. Your healer companion Anders also asked me to let him know when you woke up. I just sent my boy down to his clinic to let him know. Is there anything else you need?"
She was too dumbfounded to speak, so she opted to simply shake her head.
"Very well, messere," he said, "Take your time and let me know when you would like your bath." With that, he left the room. For a few moments she gazed at the fruit left for her; Master may have treated her well compared to the other slaves, but a silver platter just for her was something new. The idea brushing against her skin now, probing her, was that she wasn't a noble's guest but a noble - with servants!
But still there was a small nudge in the back of her mind telling her that this, too, was appropriate, even if the rest of her mind couldn't wrap around the concept.
Though she couldn't decide if this was a dream or real, the sudden pang of an empty stomach she felt was surely real enough. She grabbed a handful of blackberries and shoved them in her mouth, chewing only a few times before swallowing as much as she could, then reaching out to stuff some elderberries in her mouth. It wasn't until she finished the grapes and half of the rest of the fruit when she started to slow down and gradually enjoy the food she was brought.
By the time Anders came to her room, the dishes had been long since emptied and she had resorted to wiping the inside of the bowls and licking the remaining juices off her fingers.
"Well, you certainly look better," he said with an amused smile, taking a seat down further from her on the edge of the bed, "It's a wonder what sleep can do for the body, really. If you're feeling well enough, I recommend a walk outside next."
There were a few moments of silence between them as she debated in her mind how to approach her situation.
"Anders?" she finally asked for clarification and he waited with an interested look in his eye.
"Fenris referred to the two mages who brought me here as 'abomination' and 'blood mage.' Which are you?" she asked.
His eyes got wide like saucers and he managed out, "You... don't remember? Hawke, we've known each other for years!"
"I don't recall ever meeting you," she responded carefully.
"Maker," he breathed, "What about the others? Merrill? Varric, Isabela, Sebastian? Aveline?" She shook her head in response.
At that moment, there was a call from the door of, "Pie!" A blond dwarf with pale blue eyes and a dopey expression walked into the room with a fresh tray filled with scones, sausages, and bacon. He stopped a foot in the door and stared directly at her, his gaze suddenly shifting as if he was watching her soul breathe.
"Wrong," the dwarf said in a haunting voice that sent a shiver down her spine.
"Yes, Sandal, something is wrong with Hawke," Anders said patiently, "Do you mind taking a look at this collar?"
The dwarf stepped forward again until he reached a space beside the bed between Anders and herself. The expression he wore became both sad and slightly horrified when he saw the silver around her neck.
"Bad enchantment," he whispered.
"Do you think you could do something with it?" Anders asked.
Sandal shook his head.
"Well that's not the answer I was hoping for," the healer muttered, then asked, "Any idea how to get it off then?"
Sandal looked at the mage and said, "Not enchantment." Without another word, he swapped the new tray with the one on the bed and left through the door, Anders and she watching as he did.
Anders turned his gaze back to her, "I was hoping he would have been a bit more helpful. I suppose I'll have to study it - maybe get some of the others to look at it too and see what we can find. In the meantime, I would like to examine you."
"I just had an examination three days ago; I don't need one!" she insisted.
"I just want to be sure that what happened in the cave didn't leave any other ill effects," he pressed gently.
She drew her legs in on herself and said, greatly irked, "I don't need one!"
"A physical then," he offered, "Nothing invasive, and if you're really uncomfortable, I can wait a few days."
The two stared at each other for a few more moments, her eyes with steel and his with patience. When it became apparent to him that she would not be humoring him anytime soon, he sighed and stood from the bed.
"Take some time then and come by my clinic when you're ready; or have Bodhan send for me," he said, "I'm going to go see the others, then back to the sewers. Take care of yourself, Hawke." With a short wave, he turned around and left the room, closing the door behind him.
After leaving the Amell estate, Anders went to Lowtown and stopped by the Hanged Man, updating Isabela and Varric. Shortly afterwards, he took a stop by the Alienage and knocked on Merrill's door, but the elf not only refused to answer it, she had locked it. Not that he could blame her; he still wanted to just crawl in a hole until his headache went away. He finished his trek to the clinic, lit the lantern, and walked inside.