Audrey Page huffed.
She'd been standing on the street corner for... she checked her phone. 30 minutes. And the police still hadn't arrived.
"I hate this town sometimes."
She glanced down at the villain she'd caught, hands tied up and leaning against the pole. "Villain" was a bit generous- weirdo in spandex was more accurate. A drunk weirdo at that. The man rolled his head around limply, giggling to himself.
"Heyy... what's the G stand for... heh heh... gazongas?"
He spit as he talked. Audrey raised an eyebrow in disgust.
"Uh, no. It's Golden. As in, Golden Girl. Can you just be quiet? The cops should be here any second."
The man groaned like a bored kid.
"It's been like an HOUR! Where in the, fuckin... FUCK are they?"
She raised her hands in exasperation.
"I dunno! Just... hush up!"
As if on queue, a cop car slowly pulled up to the corner. Two fat cops slowly stepped out, trundling over to where Golden Girl had apprehended the drunken baddie. One of them took out a notepad and started writing, while the other looked to her.
"Alllrighty, missy, we'll take it from here. Thanks for the assist."
He tipped his hat as Audrey sighed.
"Yeah. No problem."
She turned, walking off as she heard the cops slam the car doors and peel off onto the road. She climbed a fire escape to the rooftop of a dilapidated brick building and built up a running start before leaping to the roof of the building next door, then the next and the next. Her almost comically large breasts swayed even in her tight sports bra and even tighter costume, and she thought back to the drunk villain's comment earlier about her... gazongas. They were progressively getting more and more in the way of both her hero work and her real life. It was hard to believe that only a few years ago she barely had any breasts at all.
"Well", she thought. "That's puberty for you."
Audrey did a triple somersault off the building she was on, tucking her body tight as she passed through the open window of her apartment and bouncing on her plush bed. Turning around, she closed the window behind her and slid the curtains shut before changing into her "civilian" clothes.
Only a few minutes later, just as she was settling onto the couch to watch some TV, her phone started going off. She glanced over. Unknown caller. Who would be calling her that wasn't already in her contacts? Maybe it was a supervillain calling to threaten her. Had she really made it to the point where villains would start noticing her? Nervously, she picked it up, accepting the call.
"H-hello?"
She winced as she stumbled over her words. For a few seconds, it was nothing but static on the other end until a voice suddenly came out.
"Heya! This is Hunter... from Mrs. Baker's class?"
Audrey sighed in relief for a moment before getting confused. Why was the guy that sat next to her in Algebra calling her? Where did he even get her number?
"Oh, uh... hey Hunter. What's up?"
She heard clanging in the background on the other line.
"Not much. I actually had something I needed to talk to you about, could we meet up in person? It's kind of important."
Audrey raised an eyebrow.
"Uhhhh... suuuure. Okay."
The two hammered out the details while Audrey's mind raced. What was he possibly talking about?
About an hour later, the two were sitting at a booth at Futzruckers. Audrey awkwardly sipped her strawberry shake as Hunter tapped his finger awkwardly on the table. After an unbearable minute, he finally looked up.
"Look, Audrey, there's no easy way to ask this, but... you're a superhero, aren't you?"