Tea
"Are you your brother's keeper?"
"Leave him alone!"
Emile could not remember what happened after his unfortunate stage freeze. He found himself in his new office when he awoke. To fill in the gaps, he had to rely on his sister's word. Sadly, whatever Maddy says is either a fantastical farce or an honest explanation hidden beneath layers of fable. Whatever comes out, however, is usually entertaining.
"Well, the party was fun. There was food, drink, songs, and the fire…" his sister trailed off, "…yeah, it kind of ended when a firework got caught in one of the banners. Burned a couple of stalls down before we could put it out. Luckily, no one got hurt, so I say it was an overall success."
Yep, she's hiding something, Emile thought.
Three days had passed since the fantastic entrance ceremony fiasco. It took a while for the pair to settle into their new headquarters. The pair took a private tour with Akashi, the little sneaky cat merchant, who was also a repair- ship on the side. They explored the docks further, noticing the various warships moored along the harbor with various small birds performing some sort of maintenance on them. Akashi would explain that these ships basically serve as astral projections of the girls' true forms and could be manifested into rigging via the wisdom cubes. Also, the little birds are called "manjuus." Adorable little things.
What was intriguing to the siblings was how the whole base resembled something familiar. They were shown the dorms of the various factions. Everyone greeted them with various formalities and informalities as they went along. They toured the munition depots, the oil extractors, the cafeteria, the lecture hall, the courtyard, and there was a bookstore that sold special training textbooks. Sponsored by Akashi and Shiranui, respectively, 30% off your next purchase of gems. The pair quickly deduced the kind of operation they were given command over. The whole setup of Azur Lane resembled a high school. With, of course, Emile and Maddy acting as principle and vice-principle. Of course, a commander and a principle had one important thing in common…
"Hey Em, I got another batch of papers," Maddy spoke, hiding behind a towering stack of various documents as she entered her brother's office.
"Just put it on floor in front of my desk," Emile gestured, but was hidden behind an absolute mountain of paper which covered every inch of his desk. Towers upon towers lined up every side of the humble office. Several windows were covered, the couch was buried, and some stacks were positioned to resemble furniture themselves.
"Holy, Hell," Maddy huffed as she set down the latest stack, "We really gotta figure out how to sort this shit out."
"You're telling me," Emile spoke from behind the paper wall. Maddy playfully hopped around to try and get a peak over the stack, "I wanted to hang up some posters but it looks like that dream is dashed. Luckily, most of the documents here are just for logistics and contracts."
"Eh, so just the boring stuff then," The older sister spoke, but a small hand waved 'no-no' from the side of the desk.
"Not quite we still have the mountains of letters and requests from the ships," Emile pointed to a particular stack of letters on the corner of his desk. Maddy found amusement in the attention that her brother received and gave a hearty laugh while peeking at one of the letters.
It was sealed with a heart shaped wax seal with a kanji print. It was from Taihou.
"Oh wow lil bro, not even a week has passed and you're already scoring," Maddy said, amused as she opened the letter. Her eyes skimmed through the words as her grin slowly morphed into a concerned frown. The armored Sakura carrier had chosen quite the vocabulary for expressing her devotion towards the Commander. It greatly disturbed Maddy.
"This girl has issues," Maddy said, speaking. Concern and dread decorated her voice. Her brother waved his hand in response.
"She's enthusiastic I'll give her that," Emile said, with a hint of nervousness, "She has even more letters scattered in the pile."
Maddy took a second look at the stack of letters Emile mentioned and saw that he was right. She spotted the same seal in many of the letters as well as… Maddy took a light sniff of the letter in her hand. The scent of a very potent perfume penetrated her nose as she coughed. Yep, they were all laced with perfume, perhaps to attract her brother. The elder sister made a mental note to keep a very close eye on Taihou when she was around the Commander.
"Oh, that's not the only concerning letter," Emile spoke, "I received a letter from Queen Elizabeth."
"The lovely little Queen of the Royal Navy," Maddy chuckled a bit as she exhaled the perfume. She had quite enjoyed messing with the monarch ever since they met, "Is she requesting for some Catholics to burn?"
"Umm… no," Emile answered, "It's actually an invitation for me to attend one of her tea parties…"
"… and a demand for your immediate execution." Emile added.
"Oh." Maddy replied, wide-eyed, "So she hates me that much huh?"
"Don't worry sis," Emile said with reassurance as he finally got up from the desk, "I have a cunning plan that will save your head and gain us a friend."
The brunette's bushy eyebrows quirked in amusement, "Please, do tell me this cunning plan."
"It's simple really. We put on our finest clothes, we go to the tea party, I butter her up with skillful diplomacy, and we then convince her to assist us with the paperwork," The little commander presented the plan excitedly. His face beamed as he posed to emphasize his confidence. His sister answered with a chuckle.
"You're not going to faint during the meeting, are you?" Maddy teased as Emile's enthusiasm was slightly deflated and replaced with red cheeks.
"No." Emile answered back as he recomposed himself, "I do quite fine in face-to-face conversation. Besides, the Queen is my height anyway. She doesn't scare me."
That's something Maddy could believe. Her younger brother felt more at ease in the company of people his height. He suggested that ships make appointments with him for one-on-one conversations. When compared to speaking to large groups of people, it was less stressful. The little Commander found that talking to ships was so unlike the simulations. Their massive size, when compared to him, was intimidating as they could easily crush him with their grip strength alone. Luckily, his rank and childlike appearance managed to save him from such a fate. He also discovered the variety of unique personalities each ship possessed. Some meek, some stern, some crazy, but all of them entertaining. Now if only the pair of siblings could figure out how to stop Taihou and Atago from overfilling the reservation list. And the mail.
Coming back to the present situation, Maddy nodded her head and said, "All right, let's go with the plan."
She clapped her hands in confirmation before pointing finger guns towards her brother, "Let's keep my head firmly on my shoulders."
Maddy began to walk out the door before her brother caught her attention, "Wait sis!"
She turned around, "Yeah?"
"We have to wear the clothes," Emile clarified.
"You're right," Maddy began to walk out, but doubled back, "Which ones?"
"The fancy ones." Emile clarified further.
"You don't mean I have to…" Maddy spoke with dread, her pupils dilated.
"Yep, the dress," Emile confirmed.
Maddy's pupils disappeared.
It was a clear, sunny day at the Royal Navy gardens. It was perfect weather if one wanted to throw an absolutely splendid tea party. Luckily, Queen Elizabeth has managed to seize this opportune moment. On tables laced with the decals of the royal house, atop them were elegantly decorated teacups, pristine plates, and cake toppers. The garden added to the wonderful scenery as different colored flowers lined up the pathways, bees buzzing along them, but no one minded. Various ships took their seats around their colleagues, knights of the King George the V class dined, the Illustrious class gossiped, even destroyers such as the C class found their tables. The maid corps dashed from table to table, serving treats and tea wherever they were summoned. It was truly a splendid sight, befitting of the title 'Royal.'
Queen Elizabeth herself was seated with her colleagues, Warspite, and Hood. They quietly sipped their tea and ate cakes as they awaited the arrival of some important guests. Guests who had just entered the garden.
"Uugghh," Maddy groaned, "I can already hear Vivaldi's Spring Symphony."
"Quite appropriate for such a lovely setting," Maddy scoffed at her brother's innocent quip.
Emile had insisted that she wear that fancy dress that was rotting away in her wardrobe. She hated looking at it, so she buried it under her uniforms. And she absolutely despised wearing the damn thing. It looked like a mix between the dress Cinderella wore and a formal corset from the 19th century, all topped off with a dainty bowed hat. The dress was too long, too refined, too proper. She suffered with every step she took, as the long dress prevented her from taking her usual strides, lest she trip.
She couldn't help but be envious of her brother's apparent ease. He only had to dress in a plain blue suit that resembled a fancy variation of the standard commander's uniform. He also wore a top hat. Maddy also wanted one. Lucky him.
The pair felt the eyes of many Royal Navy ships land on them as they entered the garden. Many were impressed by the choice of attire they wore. Appropriate for someone wanting to please their Queen's taste.
Maddy felt slightly uncomfortable due to her outfit contrasting heavily with her usual attitude, but she felt especially bad for her brother. He covered his eyes with the rim of his hat in order to ignore the attention he was receiving. Maddy could understand why. She could see and feel the many hungry eyes of the various Royal Navy ships observing him, judging him, sizing him up. She especially noticed the heavy breath of that Ark Royal ship on the far table.
Luckily, the eyes peeled away as they got closer to the Queen's table. Belfast, the head maid, and Sirius, another platinum-haired maid, were there to help them find their seats. Emile was grateful for the service, but he was a little uneasy with Belfast's breasts getting so close to his face, so he tried to hide his blush. Belfast, on the other hand, was having fun with their interaction before dismissing herself.
His brunette sister, on the other hand, rejected the service and attempted to sit herself down. Sirius fumbled a bit before apologizing profusely, begging Maddy to punish her. She obliged by telling her off, which the flustered maid obeyed. Grumpiness had already taken hold of Maddy's being, definitely from the dress. All the while, Queen Elizabeth observed the whole scene. Needless to say, she was not amused but tried to keep her Royal composure for the meeting.
"I welcome you to our most splendid garden," The Queen greeted, although her tone was a little insincere, "You should be thankful that a lowly servant like you would have been invited at all."
"I am most thankful indeed your highness," Emile greeted back with a bow and a tip of his hat.
"Yeah, yeah, nice- ooofff" Maddy winced as her brother kicked her shin, "- I mean, I am most humbled to be in your presence, your majesty."
Maddy also gave the same action as her brother, but the Queen could tell she was straining herself. Hood gave a little chuckle before taking a sip of tea and observing the rest of the formalities. The Queen was annoyed but slightly impressed that the commander's dog could be housebroken.
"Well yes, greetings, good and all that. Let's get on to the topics at hand," Elizabeth took a more serious stance, "Your sister's execution."
"Whatever anyone said, I didn't do it," Maddy defended herself.
"Silence cur," Elizabeth shot.
"What? I didn't say anything," Maddy shot back. The lieutenant commander could see the Queen's face beginning to redden. A smile slowly crept back onto the brunette's face.
"I'll have your head if you open your rancid gob again," Elizabeth threatened with finality.
"Well it's right here. Come and take it," Maddy jokingly gestured. Elizabeth was this close to ripping off the Lieutenant Commander's head. Warspite made a move to try and calm down her monarch before the Commander's voice rang out.
"That's enough Lieutenant Commander!" Emile sternly snapped. Maddy looked upon her brother with wide eyes. She tried to respond but Emile spoke once again, "You are to behave yourself while I negotiate with the Queen."
Maddy tried to retort but stopped herself from doing so. She nodded in acknowledgement and immediately straightened herself. The three opposite them were colored impressed with the way the little commander handled his fiery sister. Queen Elizabeth especially. The commander turned his head towards the Queen with an apologetic expression.
"My most humble and… deepest apologies your majesty… she's a little miffed about wearing a dress that…" Before he could finish the Queen raised her hand. She finished sipping her tea before responding.
"I must admit, you know how to handle her leash. I accept your apology for now," The Queen looked Emile straight, "I want to inform you that I have no intention of executing the lieutenant. Despite her uncouthed attitude, she is still a valuable servant."
"Thank you for the mercy, your highness," Emile bowed his head, "But why did you…"
"Let me explain. You see, our navy has the finest maids, the finest knights, and the finest warriors in the world, and who do we have to command us?" The Queen eyed the pair, "A mad hound with the manners of a bent mule and a short cake with the natural charisma of a used piece of tissue paper."
Maddy suppressed her urge to say, "woof."
"You are very kind, your majesty," Emile happily responded. The Queen raised an eyebrow before continuing.
"Quite," The Queen simply said, "I wonder how in the world you two were chosen to fulfill my request for a servan- I mean commander?"
"Well, it's a long and complicated story," Emile simply answered, "A story that... I... I'm not so..."
"A story we'll tell another time, eh bro?" Maddy jumped in to save her brother.
Yet, the young boy was still stuck in a sort of speech paralysis. Both Warpite and Elizabeth exchanged worried glances before returning their gazes to the Commander.
"Emile, please snap out of it," Maddy urged as she gently shook his shoulder.
"We can continue this conversation later if you want," Elizabeth chimed in reasonably.
Thankfully, Emile snapped out of his daze. Before regaining his bearings, he shook his head furiously. Belfast sighed a breath of relief in the background as she prepared to assist. The maid stepped back and returned to serving the other guests, who were keeping a wary eye on their Commander.
"No... I'm fine. It's just a small migraine," he tried to assure them. They weren't fully convinced.
"Do you know of Admiral Kesselring?" Emile asked the Queen, whose eyebrows perked in curiosity.
"I know the names of several high-ranking officers, but this 'Kesselring' does not ring a bell," Elizabeth answered while jogging her memory. The name sounded familiar to her, as if she had heard it before, however… wait.
"Is this Kesselring a woman?" The Queen asked, Emile answered yes with a nod, "And she has an accent from Iron Blood, correct?"
"Correct," This time it was Maddy who responded. Her face turned serious at the mention of the mysterious admiral's name.
The Queen placed an inquisitive finger on her chin. Her mind searched every nook and cranny for any matches to the mysterious admiral's description. I have memories of past visits from high ranking admirals along with unpleasant memories of dealing with them. Elizabeth swore that every single one of them was a closet pervert. However, a new image came to mind. An inspection of the naval base was conducted by several high-ranking officials. She recalled seeing a woman in the background, a woman with a sinister grin on her face.
"I think I've seen her in mingling around the corner's during officer inspections," Elizabeth commented, "Other than that, she looks to be quite the cryptic sort. Plus, she had an unconformable smile on her like a child predator. "
"You're completely right with your observation," Again Maddy piped up. Everyone at the table was quite surprised at how serious the commander's sister sounded.
"You see that Ark Royal over there still creeping on my brother," Maddy pointed towards the huffing aircraft carrier who immediately composed herself and pretended to sip her tea.
"Oh right, she's quite the character," The Queen said in deadpan, and a comical sweat drop ran down her head. Warspite also followed suit before Hood drew their attention back to the pair of commanders.
"Well, imagine her, but a hundred times worse," The brunette used her hands to emphasize the amount, "I mean, this woman will go after everything smaller than her. Little girls, Little boys, puppies, kittens, hell even fish."
Maddy's audience of three were a bit shocked by her unsaviory description. In Warspite's case, shrunken eyes. Hood was horrified considering how touchy her colleague Ark Royal could be, yet the woman being described to her sounded atrocious. The Queen silently shared the same sentiment. Emile remained silent.
"If I may ask, did she take an interest in your brother?" Hood inquired as her teacup shook a little in her hand.
"Yup," Maddy confirmed, "That perverted bitch wanted something from him and, in exchange, she promised him something worthwhile in return."
"As to what that is..." She turned to her brother, "Do you know, bro?"
"That's classified," He answered, before quickly shutting up.
Maddy groaned angrily, as she was irritated by her brother's secrecy. She was irritated by the prospect of Kesselring interacting with him. More than any fancy dress could ever achieve. The Queen and her entourage were silent as they pondered something. While the tea in their cups cooled, their minds processed the information given to them. The rest of the party goes on as usual, with the exception of a few ships who occasionally tune in to their table's conversation. Maddy's mind began to play Vivaldi's summer symphony.
"Commander," Elizabeth addressed Emile, who perked up, "Who exactly is this Admiral Kesselring?"
"Well…" Emile scratched his head nervously as the eyes of the whole table were on him, including Maddy, "All I can say is that Admiral Kesselring is heavily involved with the research on the Sirens and their technology."
The petite monarch wasn't too surprised with the revelation. Iron Blood and Sakura had been dipping their toes into Siren tech for quite some time. The Iron Blood sharks even managed to manifest aspects of it into their rigging, giving vicious sapience to their equipment. Even their allies in the Northern Parliament integrated Siren tech into their rigging out of desperation. Yet despite all that, the queen hasn't heard a word about Kesselring from any of those factions.
"I don't know the specifics of what she does," Emile continued, "Other than the fact that she keeps track of the Sirens' movements and studies the mystery of the wisdom cubes."
"The only information I was able to pick up from her was a mention of two projects," The table leaned in, curious of the information that was about to be disclosed, "One project called 'Ship loli-project' and another called 'Looking Glass through Fact and Fiction."
Emile struggled to remember what the last codename meant as the information was caught in a garble of noise when he listened to a private conversation with Kesselring and someone else. He could probably guess what the first project entailed, but he wasn't sure what the second one entailed either. He took one final sip of his tea to calm his nerves before his cup went empty. The Queen did the same, her cup was emptied as well. The others had finished their drinks, which prompted Elizabeth to signal her maids for a refill.
"It's wonderful knowing high command is investing in such important matters," Elizabeth spoke with a sarcastic tone, "Otherwise they would probably send someone with actual competence instead of a child and his dog."
Maddy chuckled at Elizabeth's quip, "Well, our bosses are probably Sith Lords anyway."
"Sith Lords?" Warpite and Elizabeth asked simultaneously, not knowing what the mad brunette was referencing. Hood smiled in inquisitive amusement but didn't get the reference either.
"Oh it's nothing to worry about," Emile reassured the two super-dreadnoughts and battlecruiser, "We'll tell you about it some other time. Hey, tea is here."
Right on time too. A piping hot kettle was brought over by the ditzy Suffolk and the bombastic Kent. The hot liquid was poured with as much elegance as the two could muster into the cups of the five. Queen Elizabeth hummed happily as she eagerly sipped her tea first, followed by Maddy. The two simultaneously recoiled in disgust before spitting the hot liquid onto each other. Hood and other witnesses covered their mouths elegantly in surprise while Emile and Warspite's eyes shrunk. The two cruisers who served the tea panicked while stringing several apologies together. However, Maddy and Elizabeth didn't listen. Both were seething on the inside as they looked at each other with an understanding. That wasn't tea.
A giggle was heard emanating from the bushes. A tiny blonde figure emerged from the foliage, carrying a mischievous smile. It was none other than Abercrombie, the monitor-class prankster.
"Heehee, my sesame oil switchroo prank was a success," The tiny ship boasted proudly in front of her two victims, "Gotcha *wink*"
The monitor was horrified as Maddy and Elizabeth's necks snapped inhumanly towards Abercrombie's direction. Their eyes were filled with a calm fury. Elizabeth, on the other hand, gathered herself in time to give her subordinate a proper reprimand. Maddy, on the other hand, lacked the petite monarch's restraint. The brunette let out a rousing roar before charging at the monitor, who flew in the opposite direction in terror. Emile had no choice but to let his sister go while awkwardly sipping his tea and facing the Queen.
"Oh dear, I'm going to make sure nothing terrible happens," Hood stated before standing up and giving an elegant curtsey of farewell to the Queen. She quickly walked towards a ridiculous chase scene that was unfolding in the garden.
Elizabeth shook her head and said, "Honestly, she really does act like a mad hound."
"Well it is in her name," Emile responded nonchalantly, while taking glances between the two dreadnoughts and the scene unfolding in the background.
"It really is a wonder how she managed to land herself the second highest ranking position in the base," The Queen genuinely wondered.
"She didn't give me the details, but High command relented in offering her a subordinate decision under me," Emile sighed. Her older sister still never told him how she managed to convince the higher ups. He assumed that it probably wasn't very legal.
"Wait, was Kesselring involved in any way?" Warpite piped up with curiosity.
"No." Emile answered.
"I think she's was only interested in me and me alone. In fact, the Lieutenant was highly opposed to, quote on quote, 'taking that creep's offer,'" Emile explained. Warspite nodded her head in understanding before a loud crashing sound drew cause the 'ears' on her head to stand.
A scene unfolded in the middle of the tables. The Lieutenant Commander was holding Abercrombie by the collar and attempting to forcefully pour the sesame seed oil into her mouth. Hood and the maids were trying in desperation to separate the two. However, Maddy's rage gave her enough strength to hold onto the monitor for a few seconds before Sirius and Belfast managed to pull her off.
"Wahhhh! Auntie Hood, save me!" "Yer gonna drink this tea and yer gonna like it ya little ferret!" "I'm not an Auntie."
Elizabeth and Warspite witness the scene with deadpanned eyes. Elizabeth took a small bite out of a cake before addressing her equally sized commander.
"How do you tolerate her?" The Queen asked Emile.
"Alcohol." Emile spoke.
"What?" Elizabeth and Warspite sounded.
"Just kidding," giggled while biting a cake, "Besides it's just who she is anyway. If she wasn't such a hotheaded maniac, then I would never have survived the academy..."
The Queen's eyebrow perked as Emile leaned slightly back reminiscently. The times Maddy saved his ass from the other candidate, students, and faculty was too many to count.
"Afterall, she's basically my knight," Warspite perked up at Emile's statement.
"A knight with the mannerisms of an ogre." Elizabeth joked, giggling like a high born.
"True she's more of a berserker. Even Lancelot from Monty Python would stay clear of her. But…" The little admirable gave the two a sincere smile, "She's always been there for me, putting herself into trouble even if it's unnecessary. It's sort of like you and Warspite."
"Uh…no…that's not the same." "Yes, your majesty… I'm just her retainer…" Elizabeth and Warpite fumbled and flustered their words at the comparison. It's not accurate but Emile seemed to hit a note with the superdreadnoughts' relationship.
"One more thing your majesty," Emile spoke, grabbing the attention of the flustered pair, "I would like to make request."
"I'll tolerate your hound, but I won't forgive her transgressions," The Queen answered preemptively.
"Actually," The little commander got up from his seat and kneeled down in front of Elizabeth.
"I was going to ask if I can become your most humble servant in exchange for your secretarial assistance," The request caused the Queen to studder and her eyes to light up. Her attention was fully drawn to the slightly kneeling form of her commander. Her heart raced with satisfaction and pride from the recognition of her royalty, it made her embarrassed.
"You see, I would like to learn from your near limitless charisma in hopes that one day I'll become a servant worthy of your presence," The little Commander's words caused a faint blush to form on the Queen's face. Her ego was being filled to the brim, which caused her chest to puff up with pride. Emile kept his grin hidden with the bow of his hat and continued his little request.
"I also hope that your grace and ladyship will one day reform my brute of a sister into a worthy knight," Emile continued to ramble. Warspite was well aware of what the commander was up to. Feeding Elizabeth's ego was a sure way to gain her favor, even if it was sometimes to her detriment. Nonetheless, the Grand Old Lady chose to participate in the charade in order to remain by her Queen's side.
"Hmmm, that is quite the difficult endeavor considering…" The Queen postured as she looked over once again to the Abercrombie situation.
"Now now~, say you're sorry Abercrombie." "okay auntie Hood." "I'm no-" "I'm sorry Lieutenant Commander, I promise it won't happen again." "It better not! Otherwise I'll get you and it's gonna look like a bloody accident."
"She still has a long, long, long way to go before she can be even considered a squire," Elizabeth turned toward her closest colleague, "Waspite, I'm going to need your assistance."
"Of course, your majesty. I'll always be the sword at your side," Warspite answered with an attitude of dedication. The Queen proudly grinned at her compatriot.
"Excellent, would you mind adding Warspite as well? After all, a queen should always be escorted by her most loyal retainer. The Queen requested with an air of pride. Warspite also joined in with her Queen's attitude. Though slightly flustered by the praise.
Emile's grin extended across his whole face for a split second before recomposing himself and lifting his head. 'Two for one deal!' his mind screamed. With the Queen acting beside him, he had some leverage within the Royal Navy, which meant he could better influence the faction. In addition, he made some new potential friends with whom he could play video games.
"Thank you, oh so much your majesty," Emile humbled the monarch, "Now for the first order of business…"
Back in the office, a titanic stack of letters thumped in front of Elizabeth and Warspite.
"… Help me separate Taihou's mail from the rest." Emile politely asked the two.
The two super dreadnoughts stared at the pile with shrunken eyes.
"Warspite, take care of this mess," Elizabeth commanded.
Warspite's eyes disappeared from her face.
It was the dead of night in the Naval Base. A small lamp dimly illuminated the room in which Commander Emile resided. He was sitting on his bed reading a private letter he kept hidden from his sister. It read:
Congratulations on your first command, little Emile. I heard your arrival at the base was quite an unusual one. A report sent to me suggested that you fainted on stage in front of every female in the base. Quite adorable, I expected you to be devoured the second you stepped foot on shore.
Nevertheless, your presence there has managed to stabilize the tension between Azur Lane and the former Crimson Axis. Hopefully, you will have the ability to bridge the gap between the two. Otherwise, I would suggest you take less scrupulous measures to ensure stability. Or will I?
In other news, there has been a lack of Siren activity as reported by our observation teams and sensors. They seem to have lightened their assaults ever since your command assignment. My team is attempting to find any correlation between that and any previous actions the Sirens conducted. I suggest you use this respite to settle into your new post. Remember our deal, Commander Emile.
-Admiral Kesselrin