As Ginny donned her Quidditch robes, a grim expression on her face, she considered the situation. For the past excruciating half hour she had had to witness Angelina shooting Luna soppy glances and appraising looks and, even worse, had had to keep her mouth shut. What could she have said? Stop looking at my girlfriend sounded weirdly possessive, We're going out, did you know was equally bad and Don't think I don't know what you're doing sounded utterly paranoid. Really, she should just leave it be: Angelina was going home at the end of the day and on top of that Luna loved her and would clearly never cheat. But some uncomfortable itch burned away inside her- Angelina had been Luna's first crush and Ginny had an ominous feeling Angelina was gearing up to ask her out. While she knew Luna would say no, what if the incident rekindled the old passion she had felt for the chaser? Ginny polished her broomstick, listening to the cheers outside, feeling anxious. There was nothing for it. She would have to attempt to crush Angelina Johnson at the Alumni vs L6 match, one of the best Chasers she had ever met, crush her so badly she would be too embarrassed to ask Luna out. She turned to Fleur Bonard, a wiry Ravenclaw seeker who was pulling her robes over her head. 'Be honest, how do you think we're going to do out there?'

'Well since the Alumni team have hundreds of excellent players to pick from and we don't have enough players in the Lower Sixth to even have a full team, fabulously I'm sure.'

Ginny looked surreptitiously around the room, realising for the first time that her year was unnervingly unsporty. There were only five players in the entire year. Despite the obviously doomed outcome of the match none of her teammates §seemed to be at all nervous, cheerfully waxing their broom handles and joking amongst themselves.

'I mean it's not like this is a proper match', said Hua Liu, scraping her hair back into a ponytail. 'I think I'll just have fun'. Ginny stared at her teammates desperately.

'No we cannot just have fun! I need to crush Angelina Johnson!'

…

'Gosh', said Luna, staring worriedly at her girlfriend. Still in a coma, she was lying in bed in the hospital wing, her long red hair spread out around her head like a halo and a large bruise on her forehead.

'I never realised that she would just fly straight into that tree', said Angelina. 'She was screaming something at me, that's why she was distracted. It was really strange, it sounded like get your hands off my girlfriend but I don't think that could be right, such a weird thing to say. I didn't even know she liked women.'

'Mmm, it was in the first twenty seconds of the match too, poor thing. And I don't think she could be saying that either, it just doesn't make sense. Perhaps she was yelling Getyerand Ofmygyrfred. He's a famous half mermish, half Gryffin Quiddtich player, maybe she's a fan and thought you might be too.'

Angelina was silent for a moment, attempting to digest the concept of a half mermish half Gryffin Quidditch player. Not allowing herself to be deterred, she began to clear her throat, preparing to do what she had been planning to for many hours now. Her mouth had just began to form the word Luna when the girl spoke.

'You know, when I first started dating Ginny I didn't know anything about Quidditch. But she loves it so much she sort of infected me with her passion for it too and now I always read the sports section in The Quibbler.'

Angelina swallowed down her shock and disappointment, the jigsaw pieces clicking into place. Luna, completely oblivious, was still listing made-up Quidditch players she had read about in her father's magazine- 'and then there's Infonius Glub, she's a swamp monster and in an interview talked about how badly swamp monsters get treated by wizards, that article made me cry it was so sad'- and, as she did so had begun to gently stroke Ginny's forehead. Well, thought Angelina, if she had been beaten she would be so gracefully and be utterly gallant.

'It's been so nice to chat to you Luna, thank you for such a lovely day. I hope Ginny feels better soon.' As Luna smiled and lifted her hand to cheerfully wave, a photograph fell out of her pocket. Angelina picked it up, hoping it wasn't a photo of Ginny and Luna smiling soppily at each other (her pride couldn't take it), and instead was greeted with an image of the most beautiful man she had ever seen in her life. All thoughts of the blonde haired girl disappeared immediately in the oceans of his eyes. Her heart pounded madly in her chest and she almost swooned. 'Luna', she managed to gasp out, 'who is this?'

'Oh, that's Daddy. I took it last Christmas, you can see he's wearing one of those paper hats you get in a cracker. And he's wearing his special occasions tie, with the dancing polar bears.'

'Could I- could I have his phone number?'

'Daddy doesn't use the telephone but he likes to communicate in gong. You just have to use floo powder to get to the fireplace so he can hear you and play a gong very loudly. You can strike it in morse code or just play expressively so he can just feel your message instead of having to bother with reading it.'

'Wow', said Angelina. 'That's so dreamy. ' Off she walked, her head filled with his perfect face, her heart hopeful that one day such a man could love her. Luna looked after her, perplexed but cheerful as Ginny started to come to.

'Did I miss anything?', she asked, rubbing her eyes blearily and wincing in pain as she accidently brushed her bruise.

'Yes, Angelina's going to play her gong to Daddy'.

'Oh, another suitor? Poor Xenophilius, he really has to fight them off with a broom doesn't he?' Although she had been unconscious and only woken up as Angelina walked off, Ginny could plainly see what had happened. Inwardly she cheered her excellent fortune, breathed a heavy sigh and patted herself on the back for her wonderful Quidditch skills. Clearly she had impressed Luna so much with her flying that Luna had immediately turned Angelina down. Sometimes it was a lot of pressure to be so skilled, but then, someone had to do it.

As you can tell this was a very silly episode… perhaps I need to write another crackfic to get the surreal humour out of my system. Anyway, I did have a lot of fun with the idea of Xenophilius 'gonging' people, an idea I am both proud and a little afraid to say was spawned entirely from my own imagination. Hope everyone is having a good September!