Standing just inside her door, Kitty gazed up at the second floor landing, as Gabrielle described the tall, blue-eyed lawman, who was waiting there. Seeing the growing panic on Kitty's face, Gabrielle gasped, "Oh no, I hope I didn't do wrong by letting him in." Kitty slowly shook her head. "No, no Gabrielle, you did fine. I'll go on up."

Matt watched the baby sleep soundly, breaths gently moving in an out. 3 months old, and Kitty left Dodge 9 months ago. Was there any way on earth, this child wasn't his son? But, that couldn't be. He knew Kitty. She would never hide their child from him. She would never just leave to raise their child without him. Kitty wouldn't live a lie. And what about George Monroe? Who the heck was he?

Kitty gripped the bannister, and step by heavy step went up the staircase, weighed down by the dread of seeing the man she ached to be with. She'd convinced herself he'd never find her. Now that he had, it was up to her to quickly send him on his way. She reached the top of the stairs, pasted on a smile and pushed open the nursery room door.

"Hello Cowboy."

He turned and looked at her. Standing there in a royal blue satin dress, she looked the same but different. Her eyes were tired, her waist a bit thicker and her breasts fuller than they'd ever been, but her skin was glowing and red hair dazzling. He didn't speak. The air between them thickened.

Her smile faded. The attempt at a light greeting had fallen flat. Matt's eyes were unreadable. She felt like she was drowning. Finally he broke the silence with a voice that was scarily soft and steady. "Hello Kitty. Congratulations on the baby. What's his name?"

An obvious question, but she stammered. "It's - it's Matthew." She hesitated for a beat. "Matthew Monroe."

Matt nodded. "I understand that your husband, George Monroe, has passed. My condolences. I'm puzzled though. The kind woman who let me in, Gabrielle I believe, said Matthew is 3 months old. You've been away from Dodge for 9 months. That means you gave birth to the baby 6 months after you left. I hope you don't mind me asking, but when did you meet and marry George Monroe?"

Kitty felt her face begin to crumble. She thought she'd never see Matt Dillon again, and wasn't prepared for the tornado of emotions twisting inside her. He stood as motionless as a sculpture, waiting for her answer. She sighed heavily and pointed to the armchair.

"Sit down, Matt."

"I'll stand."

She sank down into the armchair herself, and tried to gather her thoughts. She'd hoped this talk would never come, but here it was, and she had to choose her words with care. She had to make him understand. "Matt, after I turned Will Stambridge down, you and I talked a lot about our future together. You were set against marriage and family while you wore the badge, and you weren't ready to take it off. I accepted that. We loved each other, and I had a good life, so marriage and a home could wait." She glanced over at the crib, and a smile touched her lips. "You've always been great with kids, Matt. Children take to you." She sadly shook her head. "I always thought that becoming pregnant was not in the cards for me. My monthlies have never been regular, we both know that. And Doc thought there was a good chance that the things I went through with men, when I was 12 or 13, damaged me." She ran a hand across her tired eyes and wished her mind felt sharper. Nursing a baby during the night takes a lot out of a woman, and Matthew was a big eater. She let out a sigh. "9 months ago, when you set out for that trial in Topeka, I'd already skipped my monthlies twice. That wasn't unusual in itself, but then I started having morning sickness, and felt changes in my body. I knew – a woman knows. I was with child, and it felt almost like a miracle. Matt, you weren't ready to take off that badge, you aren't ready now. But I know you, if I told you I was having a baby, you would have given up the badge and married me. You would have stopped doing the work that means so much to you. It would have been another case of Matt Dillon doing his duty, no matter the cost to him. Matt, I didn't want to be another duty you had to fulfill, and I certainly didn't want that for my child. You would have resented us. You wouldn't have said it out loud, but you would have resented me, our marriage and my child. I couldn't live like that, so I left before I started to show. Matt, leaving you was the hardest thing I ever had to do. In fact, I knew I wouldn't be strong enough to do it when you were in town, that's why left before you got back. As for George Monroe – Matt, we both know how society treats unwed mothers and their children. I had to find a way around that fate. I picked up a newspaper, on the train to New Orleans, and read about a recent crash on that very train line that killed several passengers. One of the deceased was a man named George Monroe. He was about 40, and as far as anyone knew, left no will and had no next of kin. He became my solution. As soon as I got to New Orleans, I bought myself a cheap platinum ring in a tiny jewelry store, and then claimed to be George Monroe's widow – his bereaved wife who was with child. I figured no one would dig too deep, or ask for proof. After all, there was no will or anything material to be gained. I was right. Everyone accepted me as the widow of George Monroe. A man who sadly died in a train crash, before his child was born. With one lie and a cheap wedding ring, my unborn child and I became socially acceptable." She lifted her chin. "My decisions were damn hard Matt, but they were best for all of us. I'm sure you can see that." Kitty pushed herself to her feet, and waited for a response. It came quickly.

"How dare you."

"W-w-what?" Matt's words were so soft, she was sure she hadn't heard right.

"How dare you think you can decide, all on your own, what I would do, say, think, and even feel? You hid our child from me, and gave him another man's name, and you think that's all right because you decided that you know best. You just figured you're so wise and knowing that you – you - you…." He sputtered and ran his hands through his hair. "Kitty, remember when I came back from Arizona – and Mike?" He waited for her nod. "It was a long and lonely ride, with a lot of time to think. At first I thought it best to hide the truth, and not tell you what happened between me and Mike. I knew the truth would hurt you, even given the circumstances and the explanation. Besides, if I was truthful, I knew there was a chance you'd leave me. Or that even if you stayed, you might hold an anger in your heart, that could harbor there forever. But, the closer I got to Dodge, the more I realized that I owed you the truth. You deserved the chance to follow your own mind and heart. Kitty, I loved and respected you enough to give you the truth, and I thought that that love and respect went both ways. I was wrong." Matt shook his head. "Do you even realize that when you speak of Matthew, you never say our baby? It's as if you decided from the start, that he's all yours and yours alone."

Kitty stood speechless. She'd been trying to do the right thing for everyone, and the effort was exhausting. She felt like her brain was coming apart. All along she'd been so sure that everything she'd faced, and done, and gone through by herself was worth it. Could she have possibly been wrong?

A bead of sweat ran down Matt's cheek. He felt his fever rising. There was no way on earth he was going to appear ill or take one of those pills in front of Kitty. He moved past her and grabbed the door knob.

"Matt, where are you going? This conversation can't end here."

"I have to get back to the Oak Haven." He turned to look at her, "Funny, now you want a conversation. You always knew where I was." He stormed out the door feverish, angry and still in shock.

Kitty stared at the empty space Matt occupied seconds before. Her eyes clouded with tears of sadness, frustration, anger, regret and emotions that had no names. Matthew whimpered in his crib. She hurried over to pick him up, as much for her comfort as for his. "That was your daddy, your real daddy." She sat back down in the plush armchair, and held the baby close. "When I heard he was here, my first thought was to get rid of him quick, and then forget he ever found us." A sigh escaped her lips, "Seems your mama's been so stuck in her own head, and her own way of thinking, there were things she never considered – important things." She brushed a dark curl from Matthew's forehead. "But, just because I may have been wrong about some things, doesn't mean he's right about everything. So, my sweet, we're gonna give your daddy an hour or so to cool off and get used to what he learned, then we'll go to his hotel to have a talk, a good long talk." She blinked back fresh tears. "I think we need him Matthew, and I'm pretty sure he needs us too."

TBC