"DODGE CITY, KANSAS NEXT STOP"
With the conductor's announcement ringing in her ears, Kitty stared straight ahead trying to get hold of the flood of emotions hitting her full force. Leaving Matt was the hardest, most wrenching thing she'd ever done, but along with leaving him she'd left a life. She thought she'd never see dear Doc again, or hear him squabble with Festus. There'd be no more visits to Bess on her farm, arms filled with gifts for her children. So many others - Mr. Jonas, who stocked French perfume in his store just for her. The Delmonicos, and the recipes they shared, so she could cook a special dinner. 9 months ago she disappeared, unable to say a proper goodbye, or let folks know where she was going. And the Long Branch. She would have sold it somewhere down the line, but after building it up for so many years, selling so abruptly just felt wrong. Leaving the way she did wasn't easy, in fact it was damn hard, but she did it because she thought it best for everyone. She had to make Matt understand that.
"PASSENGERS FOR DODGE CITY PLEASE MOVE TO THE EXIT"
Kitty took Nellie's hand and smiled. "This is my stop, I'd better make my way to the exit." She double knotted her shawl around her neck and lifted Matthew from the Nellie's arms. "I don't know what I would have done without you. A day and a half on a train with a baby, is a challenge." Kitty snuggled Matthew carefully into the sling. Nellie's kind, old eyes rested on Kitty's face. "My dear it's been my pleasure. Thank you for listening to all my stories. I barely let you get a word in edgewise, not that you tried." Nellie squeezed Kitty's hand. "I don't know what's troubling you, but I know you love that baby, and I know you love the man named, Matt, you call for when you doze off to sleep. Kitty, whatever you're going through remember, we all make mistakes, sometimes big ones, but love will win. Take it from an old lady who has made plenty of mistakes and forgiven plenty too."
Unexpected tears formed in Kitty's eyes. "Thank you Nellie, I appreciate that more than you know." She grabbed her small suitcase and got to the end of the car just as the train rocked to a stop. The conductor reached up and helped her down the steps to the platform. She inhaled deeply – Dodge. Standing alone, she glanced around. Everything looked the same, but she felt uncertain. She knew the Dodge rumor mill better than anyone, and showing up with a baby after being gone for 9 months would get people talking, even if she was Mrs. George Monroe. She steeled herself for questioning eyes and headed down Front Street. 10am was not the quietest time of day in Dodge, but it was far from the busiest. She hurried along, eyes straight ahead, and rushed up the steps to Doc's office. Her tap on the door was answered quickly. The emotions that flashed across her old friend's face, squeezed her heart. "Kitty, I am overjoyed to see you. Come in, come in." He looked down at the baby in Kitty's shawl, and gently ran a finger down a soft, round cheek. "Before Matt left, he said you married a man named George Monroe. I'd say Mr. Monroe is a lucky man, this little one is .…" Doc paused and frowned, "but – but you've only been gone 9 months and this baby is at least a few months old. Y-you must have been pregnant when you left." Doc's eyes widened. "Kitty, I have to ask. Is that Matt's child? And is your husband with you?"
Kitty sank down into Doc's big, leather chair and wrapped her arms around the baby. She looked up at Doc. It was time to be honest. "Matthew is 3 months old, and he is Matt's child. I don't have a husband. There is no George Monroe, or there was, but I never met him. Doc, there's a lot to explain, but right now I have to speak to Matt. Please, get him for me right away."
Doc scratched his ear. "Kitty, Matt's in New Orleans. He wired that he found you, why are you in Dodge looking for him?"
"He did find me Doc, and we had a conversation – well not exactly a conversation. I spoke and then he spoke and then he stormed out. By the time I got to his hotel to have a talk, he'd checked out – left. I know he must have come back here. I have to talk to him Doc."
Doc frowned and grabbed a slip of paper sitting on his desk. "Listen to the telegram I got from Matt about a day and a half ago. He adjusted his glasses and read aloud: Saw Kitty. Have to stay longer. Moved to a cheaper hotel. Doc shoved the telegram into his pocket, "Kitty, Matt didn't check out of his hotel because he was leaving New Orleans. He checked out because he was staying, and needed a cheaper room. I imagine he went back to see you, and thinks you ran off from him." Doc shook his head. "Strange that he didn't mention the name of the cheaper hotel he moved to. It's not like Matt to leave out an important detail. Of course, seeing the baby must have been a shock and Kitty, Matt hasn't been well the past couple of months."
"Oh Doc." Kitty's eyes grew moist. Doc took her hand. "And I'm sure you've had a time of it yourself. Kitty, I wish I'd known you were pregnant. I would have liked to have been able to help."
"Doc, when I figured out I was having a baby I was surprised and happy, but also worried and scared. I'm not sure why, but I didn't tell a soul. I didn't even go to you or Bess to get advise. As for Matt, he'd always said he couldn't see his way clear to marriage and a family while he wore the badge, and I agreed to wait until he took it off. When I knew I was pregnant, that thought gripped me, and that thought alone. I couldn't think of anything else. It's hard to explain, Doc. It's as if my mind created a version of Matt, that was made of stone. The more I fretted and worried about my situation, the bigger that version got. So - I ended up denying the living, breathing, flesh and blood Matt - the man I love so much - the chance to be a real father. " She fought back tears. "I have to get on a train back to New Orleans, but what if he's left? What if…."
"Hush." Doc put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "I'll tell you what's going to happen at this very minute. You are going to calm down, get cleaned up, and put on fresh clothes. I am going to Delmonicos to get us something to eat. Then we will sit and talk while we eat, and figure out what you should do next." Kitty nodded. Relief washed over her, "Thanks Doc. That sounds good – real good." He squeezed her shoulder. "I'll be right back with a nice tray of food."
As soon as Doc closed the door behind him, Kitty set Matthew on the examination table, in the middle of the room. How many times had she seen Matt laid out on that very table, with Doc cutting him open to dig a bullet out. Those times were hard for her, and she often wondered how Matt managed to set his pain and fear aside, and go back to do the job again. If Matthew grew up to be half the man his father was, she'd be proud. She got a cloth from Doc's cabinet and dipped it in cool water. Eyes closed she wiped her face and neck, and then turned her attention to Matthew. She changed his diaper and quickly washed him up. Humming softly she rubbed his back, and watched him drift off to sleep. She couldn't help but smile. Matthew never looked more like his father, than when he was sleeping soundly. Moving quietly she shed the clothes she'd been wearing for the 36 hour train ride, and put on a fresh skirt and blouse. Feeling better already, she pulled out a brush and briskly brushed her hair. It felt good to be with Doc. Maybe she should have gone to him before leaving Dodge 9 months ago. Maybe she should have asked for his opinion – maybe. She set the brush back in the suitcase. The time for maybes and what ifs was over. She had to get to Matt, and figure out where to go from here.
Doc made his way up Front Street, deep in thought. He paid no mind to the questioning glances that came his way. Word of Kitty's return had spread. Folks, no doubt, wondered why Kitty, who they heard was married to a George something or other, had arrived in town with a baby, and was up in Doc's office.
A mess of thoughts rumbled through his head. Seeing Kitty was pure joy. Seeing a baby was something of a shock. When Kitty left Dodge, she'd given no indication that she even suspected she was pregnant. Now things were indeed in something of a mess, but first things first. Kitty needed a meal and someone to talk to.
"Doc, Doc." Adams looked up and froze in his tracks. His jaw dropped. "M-M-Matt. What are you doing here? How are you here?"
"Darn it Doc. I was in New Orleans and Kitty ran away from me, and like 9 months ago, she didn't tell anyone where she was going. I had all sorts of ideas about waiting, or searching in San Francisco, but it occurred to me that if I flashed my badge around the train depot, I might be able to find out where she bought a ticket to. I lucked out. A clerk clearly remembered an attractive redhead with a baby, buying a ticket to Dodge City. Pretty clever of her to think I'd never look for her here. Anyway, an army captain owed me a favor, and gave me a lift on a military transport train. Saved a lot of travel time. Like it or not. Kitty is going to talk to me. Have you seen her?"
"Now, slow down Matt. Kitty wasn't running from you. When she went to your hotel and found out you'd checked out, she figured you went home to Dodge. That woman spend 36 hours on a train, with a baby, to come and talk to you."
"That baby is my son. Kitty hid that from me, she…"
Doc grabbed Matt's arm. "Blame about who shoulda done what when, and said what before, won't get anybody anywhere. Golly bill, Matt, the future is what has to happen now." He nodded sharply for emphasis. "Don't ya see?"
Matt stared at Doc, eyes wide. A smile tugged at his lips. "Doc, if I didn't know better, I'd say you were taking speech lessons from Festus. But, I see your point and agree. Kitty and I have to figure out where we go from here, what's done is done. That doesn't mean we won't ever talk about it, but that part can wait. I'm guessing she's in your office. Let's go."
Kitty stood over Matthew, still sleeping soundly on Doc's exam table. He'd always been what folks called a good baby, meaning he didn't cry or fuss much, and he had a smile that lit up like the sun. She gently stroked her son's cheek, "Oh Matthew, where is your daddy?"
She heard a light tap on the door and straightened up. "Come on in Doc. I'm cleaned up and changed. You were right, I feel a lot better." The door opened and she turned. Her eyes widened. "M-M-Matt, how …." Doc hurried over to Matthew and scooped him up. "I'm heading out to the Ronnigers, and I think I'll take this little one along. They'll be delighted to meet him." Holding Mathew over his shoulder, Doc hurried out the door. Matt and Kitty stood a few feet apart staring at each other.
TBC