I don't know what to say to my family across the pond except I'm so sorry, and I'm sending you all my love. Please stay safe.
Someone Else's Baby
April 11th 2021
Twisting the cap of her water bottle around and around on the picnic table, Bella watches Milo running on the grass with Jacob's three-year-old twins and their furball German Shepherd brother.
With the sun bringing out the red in her son's hair, she wonders if she's been wrong all these years when she assumed his sperm donor had red hair. Meeting him on Halloween when everybody was in costume meant she'd only seen what he wanted to show her. He'd gone to the party dressed as Khal Drogo from Game of Thrones, a long black wig on his head and a scratchy fake beard stuck to his face; the latter had slipped off so many times while they danced that he'd eventually ripped it off and tossed it in the trash.
Tall, fit, and with rippling muscles that had called to a tipsy Bella, he'd introduced himself as Jamie and shown her a great time.
Maybe a little too great, seeing as she'd wound up taking seven positive pregnancy tests five weeks later.
It took her a month to track him down. She finally found him through a friend of a friend of a friend, and hadn't been wholly surprised by the text she received a few days after leaving a rambling voicemail informing him that she was knocked up, and he was the father.
I can pay 2 take care of it? let me no
And so, with tears in her eyes and nausea that was less morning sickness, more all-day sickness, she drove from Las Vegas to Washington to let Sue and Harry know they were going to be grandparents.
"You have options," Sue had said, but there was no way Bella was taking Jamie up on his 'offer,' and she already knew she'd never be able to carry a baby to term only to give him or her up, so she'd forced a shaky smile onto her face and told Sue to decide if she'd rather go by 'Nana' or 'Grandma.'
After Milo was born, Bella sent Jamie a photo of him along with a request for his address so she could forward the paperwork for him to terminate his parental rights. Her lawyer called a week later to say it was done.
Milo was hers, and hers alone.
Until ten days ago.
"Dad, look!"
"I'm looking, Sammy!" Jacob yells back as he carries the baby monitor out onto the deck, burp cloth still draped over his shoulder, sleepy smile on his face until he spots Bella and concern replaces contentment. "I don't like this."
Bella knows what he's talking about without having to ask.
"I don't either, but it's necessary, Jacob."
Shaking his head and dropping onto the seat beside Bella's, Jacob sighs, "He's coming tomorrow?"
"Uh-huh."
Bella's eyes follow Milo as he jogs around Jacob and Claire's big back yard, the twins and the dog chasing him. Before heading to the salon for her first appointment of the day, Claire trimmed Milo's wild red curls into a more respectable style with short back and sides, locks left longer and wavier on top. He looks grown up; less boy, more pre-teen, especially with little Benji and Sammy running behind him.
"I'll come with you. You shouldn't go alone," Jacob decides, and for once, Bella doesn't tell him off for making decisions for her.
"Okay."
His dark brows lift. "You're not arguing?"
"Not this time." She huffs a humorless laugh. "I'm so scared he'll…"
"He'll, what?" Shifting closer, Jacob slings a long, heavy arm around Bella's shoulders. "What are you scared of?"
"Everything?" Bella breathes, forcing a smile onto her face when Milo glances over at her. "I'm so scared I'll meet this guy and he'll...he'll look like Milo."
Jacob winces like he hadn't thought of that. He probably hadn't, but Bella has been freaking out about meeting this guy and seeing Milo in his face since he suggested that they meet up in person to discuss their impossible situation. She agreed, still in shock over hearing that this boy, Edward's son who might actually be hers, has the same heart condition as her.
Then she received a text message during second period yesterday that knocked the breath from her lungs.
Edward Cullen had booked himself onto a late-afternoon flight today.
"Is he, uh, bringing the kid?"
Bella pulls her lip between her teeth. "I don't know. I didn't want to ask."
Breathing another big sigh, Jacob squeezes her around the shoulders before jumping up when the boys demand he come join their game.
As Bella watches them play, she reminds herself that tomorrow might change nothing, that Edward Cullen's son might have nothing to do with her and this might all be a crazy coincidence.
In her heart of hearts, not even she believes it.
~ oOo ~
"So, why aren't you working today, again?" Milo asks suspiciously, eyeing his mom as she turns into the school parking lot.
With her stomach a knot of anxiety and her heart pounding in anticipation of what today might uncover, she forces false cheer into her voice and repeats the story she invented last night when she realized her son would notice her absence, being in the same building and all.
"I told you, I've got a bunch of appointments today and I don't know how long they're all going to take, so I talked Principal Ashman into letting me take the day off."
Milo hums, scooping his backpack out of the footwell, setting it in his lap. "What appointments?"
Crap, crap, crap.
"Uh, at the, um, the bank?"
Bella doesn't mean for it to come out sounding like a question, but as she winces, she realizes it might help distract him—not that she thinks he'll guess what she's really up to today. This is crazy movie stuff. The sort of thing that happens to other people.
It's not the sort of thing that happens to ordinary people like her and her son.
Milo's unconvinced expression gradually shifts into another as she shoots quick glances at him until they pull up outside of the school. When Bella engages the brake, turning her head to face him, he's got a smirk on his face and a twinkle in his green eyes.
"These appointments don't have anythin' to do with my birthday coming up, do they?"
Bella's heart thumps unevenly, her mind casting all the way back.
Almost thirteen years ago to a short-staffed hospital and a newborn baby boy.
A newborn baby who might have been handed to the wrong family just hours after his birth.
"You'll just have to wait and see, won't you?" she says brightly, leaning over to kiss his cheek, breathing him in. "Have a good day, Miles. I'll pick you up right here."
"'Kay." Climbing out of the car, he slams the door and spins back around before she can pull away. Ducking through the open window, he flashes her the grin she's adored since the very first time he wore it.
.
"Look atchu go, Miles!" Jacob laughs, watching Milo cruise along the edge of the couch.
The little boy giggles and bounces, then grunts and whines when he tries to get Bella's cell but finds that he can't quite reach.
Bella steps back into the room, drying her hands on a towel, as Jacob swaps it for a toy phone that lights up and plays loud music. Swiping her cell while her ten-month-old is distracted, she slips it into her pocket and drops down onto the floor to lean against the sofa so she can watch Milo playing with Jacob.
"Good day at work?" he murmurs after a few minutes, both of them laughing when Milo starts 'dancing' to the music, bending his knees and bobbing his head.
"It was okay," Bella yawns, all sleepy smiles as her boy cruises along the sofa toward her. Her entire body aches, but it's all worth it to get home and see her sweet baby boy. He's hyper after a whole day playing with Uncle Jacob, the Cheeto bag in the trash and Milkybar wrappers littering the coffee table giving away his less-than-nutritious dinner.
Bella opts to pick her battles, just this once, and chooses to ignore it all.
"It's better now, huh, Miles?"
"Mama," he mumbles, and her exhaustion takes a backseat when he fixes bright green eyes on her and flashes a new version of the smile that's stolen her heart in recent months.
It's slightly crooked and shows off the single tooth in the top of his mouth. Her heart expands, all her stresses melting away as she scoops him up over her head and presses kisses on his belly, delighted when that crooked smile becomes a frequent feature in the photos that grace the walls over the years, her sweet baby growing into an affectionate little boy.
.
"Love you, Mom. Have a good day."
Her heart melts now as it did all those years ago, and she watches him head into school with the fondest of smiles.
For a moment, just a brief speck in the kaleidoscope of her mixed emotions, everything is okay.
Then her phone pings with a text.
Hi, Miss Swan. I'm just leaving my hotel, so I'll see you shortly. Edward Cullen.
~ oOo ~
True to his word, Jacob finds Bella just down the street from the coffee shop she suggested when Edward asked if there was anywhere neutral she'd like to meet.
The Daily Grind popped into Bella's mind and spilled out of her mouth before she could second-guess herself.
Now, as Jacob drapes a heavy arm around her shoulders and reminds her that they can leave whenever she wants, Bella kicks herself for potentially spoiling one of her favourite places to take Milo.
They do milkshakes that are 'the bomb,' according to her twelve-year-old, and their cookies are 'f-awesome.'
Bella has tried valiantly to curb his habit of picking up Jacob's cursing. Choosing to say nothing about it when he shortens them that way is another battle she doesn't see the point in fighting.
"Are you ready?"
April in Vegas isn't particularly hot, especially not this early in the day, but Bella feels cold sweat beading on the back of her neck as she stops just shy of the coffee shop, just out of sight. There are a handful of cars in the parking lot—none stand out, and she has no idea if he's even got a car here.
A cool breeze sweeps over her as she sucks in a big breath, bolstering herself, and nods. "Let's get this over with."
Every step toward The Daily Grind is harder than the last. It's like somebody has strapped lead weights to Bella's feet, her heart in her throat and her chest squeezing when they make it to the doorway and the bell dings cheerily as they enter. Overhead fans thump and whir, the smell of coffee beans and fresh pastries turning Bella's stomach. Usually, she'd beeline for the counter for her black coffee and a cookie.
Today, her eyes are nowhere near the counter.
With a big breath held in her lungs, she leans into Jacob's side, drawing comfort from the easy familiarity as her eyes slowly search the room. Besides the short line, there are five people in the shop.
A woman tapping furiously on her laptop, a teenager adding creamer to his coffee, an elderly couple Bella recognizes from her almost daily visits, and…
Oh.
Her trembling hand flies up to catch her gasp, tears filling her eyes as they soak in a familiar, but not, face.
.
A man in a rumpled sweater and sweatpants skids into the waiting area before slip-sliding his way over to the desk. He's tall with dark hair smashed under a ball cup and multi-colored Chucks on his feet. They look like a kid took a Sharpie to them, covered in squiggly lines and a mish-mash of shapes.
"Cheney. I'm here for Angela Cheney. She called and said—"
The nurse grins at him and laughs. "She's in room four, Edward. She was only at three centimetres but Dr. Gerandy decided to keep her in. She's waiting for you, so go on in."
Bella smiles at the relief on the father-to-be's face as he rakes a hand through his hair, heaving a big sigh. "Thanks, Michelle."
He shoots Bella a quick smile on his way past her, his eyes dipping to her belly as she winces and sucks in a breath in anticipation of another contraction. "Good luck."
.
"It's him."
"Him, who?" Jacob asks, bringing her back to the present with a thud.
"I saw him, at the hospital." She nods toward him, too nervous to move closer. He hasn't noticed her yet, too busy typing something on his phone, all broad, tense shoulders and furrowed brows over eyes she can't see from this angle. "He ran into the hospital while Sue checked me in."
She'd spent days trying to recall that day, that night, after Edward Cullen's first call. She'd tried to remember anything that might help her put a stop to this nightmare.
She hadn't remembered him, though.
Not until now.
Oh, God.
Memories flood back, and her legs wobble as she recalls bumping into him in the halls of the maternity unit that night. If the babies were swapped, it would already have happened. When they'd offered each other bashful, commiseratory smiles each time they passed one another, their babies had already been switched.
If it's true, Bella thinks, locking her knees into place.
Suddenly, as though he can feel her stare, he looks up from his phone and catches her like a rabbit in headlights.
Bella's heart gives an unsteady thump, tears burning her eyes. When Jacob mutters "Fuck" under his breath and squeezes her just a fraction tighter, she knows he's seeing exactly what she is.
Milo's bright green eyes in the face of this stranger.
"Miss Swan?" he asks haltingly, rising stiffly from his seat. None of the tension leaks from his body as she forces herself to approach, extending a shaky hand over the table.
"Mr. Cullen. I…" she trails off, not really knowing what to say.
It's nice to officially meet you?
It's nice to see you again?
I'm so glad you could come?
None of them are true.
All of them mean that something terrible happened on what she's always thought was the best day of her life.
"Thank you for meeting with me," he finally murmurs, and she nods, dropping into the seat opposite him as Jacob handles his own introduction while she catches her breath, organizes her thoughts.
Once they're all seated, he flicks his eyes toward the counter. "Can I get you anything…?"
Bella waves her hand, feeling a little lightheaded. "My stomach is in knots. I can't…"
His frown softens into a faint, sympathetic smile. Or, empathetic. She realizes with a start that this must be just as difficult for him. A strange sort of camaraderie settles over her as she stares at this man.
This man who has her son's eyes and straight nose, his dark hair streaked with copper and his smile just slightly crooked when he admits that he almost had to use one of his anxiety pills meant for flying to get him to this coffee shop.
"You're a nervous flyer?"
"Always have been," he sighs, self-deprecation strong in his rueful shrug, curiosity taking its place when Jacob releases a big breath through his nose and mutters another curse. Eyes flicking between Bella and Jacob, Edward lifts one eyebrow. "What?"
Bella swallows around the lump in her throat and starts making a mental list.
Eyes.
Hair.
Nose.
Smile.
And now…
Fear of flying.
"My son, he's always been a nervous flyer," she says after a brief hesitation, her words soft, slow, as his eyes widen.