Eddie stands in astonishment, frozen after watching his best friend crumple like a leaf in front of him. It takes only two more seconds for his training to kick into high gear and he's shouting at the top of his lungs for his team and hitting his knees on the gravel near Buck's prone form.
"I need some help out here!' Eddie shouts behind him as he checks Buck over. He heard the sickening crack of his skull bouncing off his car frame on the way down and upon closer inspection he can see a patch of red mixed in with Buck's blond locks. He panics internally because he doesn't even know if Buck is still on his blood thinners or if he's been taking them as he should!
For one dreadful second Eddie's breath catches and his heart skips a beat because he can't see if Buck is still breathing. It was only a moment but in that moment it was as if time came to a stand still. Finally he caught a glimpse of the sure sign of life as Buck's chest rose and Eddie let out a harsh exhale. He gently rolled Buck from his side to laying flat on the ground and stabilized his neck as best he could while carding his fingers through the blond's hair to check for further signs of injury. Finding none other than the gash behind his ear which looked a lot less intimidating once the initial panic drained out of him, Eddie let out another tense breath. Hearing footsteps pounding on the gravel Eddie looked up in time to see Hen and Chim approaching with their kits at speed.
'What the hell happened?' Chim asks while kneeling next to Eddie, already examining Buck's head wound in much the same fashion.
"I don't know. We were just about to talk and he said he needed a minute. He just fell!' Eddie claims at a loss for more intelligible words. He takes one of Buck's wrists in his hand searching for a pulse. He stops short at the feeling of Buck's thin wrists and notes the protrusion of his bones. When he looks up it seems both Hen and Chim had come to the same conclusion as him.
After a moment Hen speaks up with, 'I think we all understand now. Wake him up with some of the salts and we'll get him set up with an IV for electrolytes and nutrients. I haven't seen him eat today, have you?'
Chim follows Hen's instructions already thinking along the same lines as Eddie continues to sit on his ankles still studying Buck's wrist. He snaps out of it only when Hen calls his name in askance.
He looks up sharply and shakes his head. He had not seen Buck most of the day he realized. The one time he was in the kitchen area with the man had been when Buck was stowing clean dishes and replacing the towels with clean ones. He hadn't thought then to offer to sit down and share a meal with him. He's been too wrapped up in his own thoughts. Again.
A cold pit of dread opens up in his stomach. Had Buck been starving himself? It didn't make any sense! Why would he think he needed to do this? The man was fit as a fiddle. Sure he was more preoccupied with his looks than most of the people Eddie knew but there was no reason for the man to feel fat by any means!
As Eddie's inner monologue takes over he observes as Chimney returns from the ambulance with some smelling salts, an IV line and several bags of electrolytes and nutrients to put some pep in Buck's step. He watches as Chim waves the small container under Buck's nose and braces when the man in question comes to groggily. He's still got Buck's arm securely in his grasp and he wasn't planning on letting go for a long time.
Chim's speaking now, softly encouraging Buck as he resurfaces from the fog. 'There you go Buck. We got you." He's got Buck's other arm in one hand ready to steady the man. Buck groans and it's next to the most blissful sound he's ever heard because it means the man hasn't gone and died on them. He frowns at the memory of every other time he's found himself in this position next to Buck's broken, injured or sick form.
'How are we doing?' Hen asks crouched in front of Buck. Buck looks up with glassy eyes unable to fully focus on his team mate. He tries to raise a hand to the back of his head but it's the one Eddie still has firmly grasped and he's not quite willing to let it go yet. As the commotion settles Eddie vaguely realizes that Bobby had manifested himself nearby watching the scene unfold. He had a hard look on his face. One that Eddie couldn't read.
'Huh? Wha.. I don't understand.' Was Buck's only response to Hen's question. While Buck was awake he was still really out of it.
Eddie and Chim braced as Buck prepared himself to sit up with or without their assistance. "Whoa there! Take it slow. You cracked your head pretty good there.'
"What? I feel fine.' Eddie was quite sure if Hen's eyebrow arched any higher it would take flight. Instead she again crouched in front of Buck's now sitting form and in no uncertain terms laid out his instructions.
"You are not fine. Ah! Don't even." She pointed a threatening finger at Buck as if he was Denny or Nia trying to get into a cookie jar. "Fine people don't pass out. So we are going to take you inside and patch you up. And then you are going to sit on the couch and eat something. Got it?"
Buck only nods in response and the team can't help but think he looks exactly the part of a chastised child with his lip jutting out in a near pout. Bobby waves Chimney ahead and takes the man's place at Buck's side. Together the two of them haul Buck to his feet, sharing a look at the surprisingly light load between them. Bobby tamps down this alarm and they pass a silent communication between them to talk about this after Buck is taken care of.
They make their way slowly back into the station and escort Buck up the stairs. It's a slow process with Buck managing to miss every other step almost as his vision continues to swim. Once they reach the threshold of the loft Buck is entirely exhausted and doesn't bother to put up a fight when he is forced onto the couch. Hen sits on the coffee table opposite of him and begins prodding at the wound with her expert hands. By the time she's finished with the examination, starting the IV and patching him up she turns and says to the team, 'He's clear. I don't think there is a concussion but we should err on the side of caution. We should take him to the hospital to get checked out."
Buck comes back to life at this, 'No! No hospital. I'm ok really. I have a headache but I'm fi- I'll be fine!" Buck corrects himself quickly at Hen's sharp look.
Bobby looks skeptical but finally decides with a sigh, 'Fine you'll stay here though. On that couch. And you won't play with the IV and you're eating this." Bobby says holding up a bowl of soup and a few bread rolls.
Buck nods gratefully at Bobby's agreement, but his look turns to confusion at the meal being offered. He asks, 'It's for me?' in such a heartbreakingly small voice that Bobby can only bring himself to nod. He fills with shame at the realization that they had iced the younger man out so effectively that the offer was met with stunned and cautious acceptance.
Bobby passes the bowl to Hen who sets it on the coffee table beside where she is perched. Chimney had since shown up and was currently tucking a half dozen blankets around his pseudo brother who couldn't seem to stop shivering. He doesn't even attempt to shoo Eddie from the other side of the couch. He hasn't been able to say much since they sat down, too busy in his head and watching the examination of Buck.
Bobby excuses himself then, 'I'll be back in a bit. I'm gonna call dispatch and have them put us on back burner rotation so that someone can be here to keep an eye no Buck for the rest of the night." As he's retreating to his office he only just hears Buck's whispered question to Hen. "Is this- Is this really for me?' He asks while pointing towards the bowl hesitantly. As if it would be snatched away from him. As if this was all just a cruel and elaborate prank. Bobby breathes out in a rush, unable to face the reality of what's been transpiring in his firehouse for the last two months just yet.
Hen nods with a saddened smile. "It really is Buckaroo and you really need to eat it ok?'
Buck shares a little smile with the woman he has come to refer to as an almost sister. 'No one has called me that in a long time.' As he settles into the nest of blankets provided to him by Chimney, he doesn't recognize the emotional bomb he just set off in his teammates. He leans forward to pick up the bowl realizing that Eddie still has a firm hold on his wrist. "Uh Eddie?"
Just then the closing of a car door echoes in the loft and Buck suddenly sits up like a rod. "I need to finish cleaning the truck!' He hurries to unravel himself from the cocoon pulling his wrist from Eddie's grasp finally. As if the trance has been broken Eddie finally speaks up, pushing a hand to Buck's chest. "No, you need to eat right now."
Buck sits back down as commanded and nods silently, almost afraid that he had upset the older firefighter. He takes the bowl being offered to him and Eddie squeezes his arm gently trying to convey to the younger man that he was not angry. As Buck begins to eat, it hits him just how tired he was from the day's events and the fitful sleep he had managed the night before. Buck has only managed a few spoonfuls and a bread roll before he's nodding off on the couch.
Eddie only just manages to rescue the half bowl of soup from meeting the floor as it slips from Buck's lax grasp. He smiles fondly at the man and tucks one of the blankets back up around his shoulders.
Chimney appears next to him, readying to shake the man awake when Bobby's hand lands on his shoulder. He shakes his head and says, 'Let him rest for now. We have an alternative team coming in to pick up the rest of the shift. We will take him home in a bit.'
Chimney nods accepting the situation and each team member agrees that they have one of their own to take care of right now.
Buck ends up sleeping on the sofa for over 2 hours while the rest of the team handle pass on to the other shift and completing the daily chores to keep the firehouse running. By the time they are ready to head home, each one of them have a greater appreciation for the amount of work Buck has been putting in for several weeks now.
After everything is wrapped up the team meet in the loft kitchen. Bobby hands out steaming mugs of coffee for each member of his team smiling at the too sugary sweetener that is usually reserved for Buck. He was the only one who could stomach that stuff. It was more like he was drinking hot chocolate than coffee by the time he was finished preparing his beverage.
Hen is the first one to broach the conversation after they've all spent a solid few minutes just staring at their sleeping team mate. "What's going on with him? He's skin and bones now.'
Chimney chimes in as well, 'He's not himself. He's always sad now."
Bobby winces at the comment, entirely aware that this was his fault. The team had been following his lead by giving Buck the cold shoulder for the last two months. Every one of them recalls the first week that Buck had been back at the station with them following the lawsuit. He had shown up that fateful day with his usual chipper energy exponentially increased at being back in his second home.
They had all stood by and watched as that energy and euphoria drained away from the younger man as every day passed with the distance between him and his family growing ever wider. They were all still too consumed with anger and hurt to let Buck back into the fold. When had his own personal rain cloud manifested? When had Buck abandoned his youthful euphoria for silence?
The team silently came to a group decision that it was well past time that they let go of the hurt and show Buck that he still has a family in them.
Hen takes a few steps forward reluctant to wake their sleeping peer as he obviously needed the rest. She shakes Buck awake gently calling, 'C'mon Buck. We're gonna take you home." Buck's eyes flutter open and when faced with Hen's statement he looks up clearly confused, 'But..I still have chores to do. I can't leave them unfinished.' He begins to stand, making as if to go complete these chores when he's stopped both by Hen's sharp look and Chim's hand suddenly resting on his shoulder.
"It's already done my man. It's time to go home. Captain's orders." Buck's face crumples at this and he manages a jerky nod. Hen and Chim exchange a confused look at the sudden change in Buck's expression, wondering just what's going on in his head. Buck stands and begins his trek to the staircase. All the while Eddie is on his heels trying to not make it obvious that he's worried Buck will disappear or fall down the stairs, or get hit by a train, or any number of bad things that always seem to happen to him.
He follows Buck all the way to the locker room watching as the man in question fishes a key from his pocket and opens the lock. 'What's up with that anyway?' He says suddenly, curiosity getting the better of him. "You've never used a lock before."
Buck only nods as if that's all the answer Eddie requires before piping up with, 'Yeah, I'm just being safe. I only have so many uniforms, you know?" Eddie in fact did not know where this statement was supposed to bring his conclusion to. Everyone is issued a certain number of uniforms when they start the job and if you lose one or damage it beyond being able to work then it is the responsibility of the firefighter to replace it. Unless it happens due to a work related incident that is.
"Did you lose one?' Eddie pushes trying to squeeze more of an answer from his best friend.
"In a way." Is Buck's only reply as he swings his bag onto his back and again pockets the key. Eddie notes he goes so far as to stow the lock in his bag as well leaving nothing in the locker overnight.
Buck then heads out of the station towards his jeep. Eddie notes that someone had thought to close his car door but can't recall who from the spectacle that occurred on the gravel hours prior. Buck is approaching his Jeep with keys in hand when Bobby catches up to the pair. 'Hey, hold up there! You can't drive yourself. You took a hell of a hit to the noggin earlier. We'll get you home."
Buck turns towards the older man, biting at his lip unsure if he should ask the question on his mind, "Does that mean I'm not fired?"
"What? Of course you're not fired!" Bobby can only pinch the bridge of his nose as his frustration with himself mounts. "I'm sorry that I made you worry about that. You aren't fired kid. I just don't want you driving yourself right now."
Buck again nods as he's bustled into Bobby's car, guided by a gentle grip on his elbow. He's fastened in with a seatbelt like a child and Bobby climbs in the other side. He shrinks into himself a bit at the knowledge that he's now effectively trapped in a small space with the man who has been hating his guts for months now. He knows that Bobby would never hit him but there are other ways to hurt someone. Buck was all too familiar with these ways growing up.
Buck notes once they're moving that Bobby makes a right out of the parking lot to go towards his old building and tries to correct him without incurring his wrath, 'Uh Bobby? My place is the other direction." Bobby glances over at Buck, almost skeptical and even more worried that they had maybe missed a concussion. Buck was quick to elaborate with, 'I uhm- I moved a few weeks back'.
"Oh, ok. Where am I headed then?" Bobby tries not to let it slip into his expression how awful he feels to have not known about this move. Buck rattles off the new address and Bobby calls the rest of the team on his car's Bluetooth to share the new address with them. Hen and Chim had carpooled that day and Eddie was already on his way to the new address when Bobby called so they came to the agreement to meet up outside of Buck's new building.
As they pull into the parking lot, Buck's face burns again with shame, knowing that this part of town comes with certain… connotations . Taking in the dilapidated building as they climb from their respective vehicles the team make eye contact sharing an incredulous look over Buck's head as he's gathering his duffle from Bobby's back seat. Chimney mouths a silent, What the hell? to the team as they take in the sight.
As Buck resurfaces from Bobby's back seat he mutters a quiet thanks to the team and assures them that he will be able to manage on his own from here on. "I don't want to put anyone out anymore than I already have today. I'll be fi- ok from here." Buck again corrects himself at Hen's arched eyebrow.
Chimney is the first to speak, too much a combination of worried and curious. "Nonsense. We'll walk you up. I want to see your new place man!" Buck tenses a bit, knowing that the place is a far cry from the standard of living they were used to from him. He tries to quell the situation by stating, 'Really it's nothing extravagant. I just down sized. Besides, I haven't even finished moving in.' Buck hates himself for the little lie but it would be too big a can of worms for them to broach the topic of his missing furniture and homely accents today.
Chimney brushes his comebacks off, easily shouldering Buck's bag himself and gesturing for him to lead the way. Buck reluctantly leads the group into the building. They take in the small reception-like area housing a small office, a bank of mailboxes and a lot of dust. The place is barren of any real invitation that would classify it as a dwelling. As they move toward the stairs, the team notes the presence of an elevator however based on its appearance and a weathered sign it has been out of order for a long time. They're passing the mailboxes when an elderly woman holding a cane in one hand and a small bundle in the other calls out to their youngest team member.
"Evan dear! They put your mail in my box again." She passes him the bundle and whispers conspiratorially , "there's some oatmeal cookies in there for you too but don't tell Greg. He'll demand ransom for letting you into the building!"
Buck smiles warmly at the woman whispering back in turn, "Thanks Delia, that's really nice of you!"
Delia pats him on the arm and says at a normal volume, "No worries my dear, you can pay me back with more of that lovely music later this week hmm?" She smiles gently and gives him a final pat to the cheek in grandmotherly fashion before retreating to her own apartment on the first landing.
He offers no introductions or explanation, instead opting to lead the team up the flights of stairs to his door seemingly accepting his defeat. He keys into his unit and ushers the team in one by one. As they each pile into the small entryway they take in the small living quarters. It's entirely stripped as if the move had been done just the day prior. There is nothing on the walls to indicate that there is someone living here nor are there any personal artifacts loitering the counters. There's a small stack of boxes piled in a corner that they can see paperwork peeking out of and some personal treasures like Christopher's artwork, cards from thankful families and photos.
There is a small case leaning against the wall next to the stack of boxes and in the corner near the radiator is a pile of sleeping bags which presumably have been Buck's bed as of late. There's evidence that the sleeping bags have been used lately and unless there is a hidden room in the small unit this must be where Buck's been laying his head every night. It makes the bunks at the station look more homey and brings Bobby right back to that night so many years ago in that crappy little apartment drinking away his troubles.
Beyond what they can see the apartment is devoid of any furniture. Buck is rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly with his cheeks burning a bright red when he says, 'Sorry I just moved in so there's nothing here yet. I told you there wasn't much to see." He shrugs in explanation.
Chimney searches the wall for a switch to turn the lights on as the sin was setting by now and casting dark shadows across the unit. He throws Buck a look when he flicks the switch and nothing happens. In response Buck utters quietly, 'Uh yeah I haven't gotten the power sorted yet. There's some candles around here somewhere.'
They watch as Buck bustles around the small kitchen pulling open drawers as he searches. He retrieves a few candles that have clearly been well loved and a lighter. He places them on the counter surface with a glass barrier to prevent any accidents. Ever the firefighter.
The team stand in unsure silence as they process the conditions that Buck has been subjected to as of late. He wasn't convincing anyone that he had just moved in. He's been living like this for a while and no one wants to think how long that while has actually been.
"I'm good now guys. Thanks for bringing me home." No one can bring themselves to comment on the rough quip to his tone on the word home .
Eddie is finally the one who takes a step forward, slow and cautious as if approaching a wild animal. "Buck.. you can't think that we'll let you stay here.' He doesn't say that they won't let him stay there in general, not just for the night.
Buck falters looking down at his feet and asks in a small voice, "Why?"
It's Hen who speaks up next, every bit the mother she is. 'Buck I can't as a medical professional leave an unattended patient alone with no electricity and a possible head injury."
Buck keeps his gaze on the floor filled with remorse at having burdened the team again. "Oh. It's ok, I'll invite someone over.' Buck's voice holds the slightest hesitation on the word someone realizing that he doesn't actually have a someone who would stay with him anymore. He could invite Delia over but he has nothing to give her but the cookies he was just gifted in addition to some more crackers. Even if she accepted the invitation the elderly woman uses a cane for mobility. She would need somewhere to sit and Buck couldn't provide her with that. Not to mention she couldn't handle the stairs and he wouldn't want to ask to stay at her place downstairs. From what he's learned of the woman she's always letting her good for nothing grandkids sleep on the sofa there and they end up walking off with most of her money or belongings, no doubt to score something in one of the back alleys around town. Delia is kind though and would never turn anyone in need down. He couldn't use her for that kindness though.
Buck's musings are interrupted by Eddie this time, "Just come spend the night at my place. Christopher would love to see you." Eddie knows he's playing dirty dangling his kid like bait on a hook but he's near desperate to get himself and Buck out of this place. He meets Buck's uneasy and guarded gaze at these words. "I can see him?" is all that Buck can manage to get out.
Eddie is only able to bring himself to nod, swallowing hard at the guilt clawing its way into his chest. It had been so many weeks since Buck had seen Christopher. Buck nods jerkily, not brave enough to say anything that might make Eddie retract the offer. Buck blows out the candles and again leans down to grab his bag when he realizes that he doesn't have his car.
He curses under his breath and meets the team's gaze admitting, 'I left all of my clothes in my car." All of the pieces slid into place now as they remembered Buck's newfound laundry habit. He didn't have a washer or dryer set up in this place nor does it look like the place would support it.
Eddie nods along with his statement replying with, 'That's alright. We'll figure it out. Let's go?" Eddie doesn't want to rush him but the longer they remain in this small apartment barren of anything that would make the place a home, the more dots are being connected and the full picture being assembled is screaming the team's failures when it comes to their youngest member.
Eddie's eye catches sight of the case leaning on the wall once more as they each make their way out of the unit. On a whim he reaches out and snags the case. By the time he reaches his truck Buck has already climbed into the cab and he stashes the case in the back stealthily. He wasn't sure yet how the night was going to go but he was more determined than ever to repair what's been broken between them.