Someone Else's Baby
May 7th 2021
"So, I'm confused. What the heck just happened?"
You and me both, bud, Edward thinks, rubbing the sore spot where Milo caught him with his fist while he was trying to get away.
"You said they were old friends," Lucas reminds him as they amble back toward their campsite, Sienna moseying along in front of them. "That kid did not act like you were his friend."
"I've never met him before," Edward admits, replaying the moment he tripped into the clearing and spotted Milo.
My hair. My eyes. My smile. Oh, shit.
My son.
Tipping his head to look at Lucas and meet his suspicious brown gaze, Edward musters a smile for his other son.
The last two weeks of wrapping his head around things and letting his emotions settle have done Edward a world of good. They've also allowed him to come to a conclusion that he now feels stupid for not reaching quicker.
Milo is his son. There's no denying that, especially not now Edward has seen him in person,
But so is Lucas.
Nothing and nobody is going to change that. Not mixed-up hospital bracelets, not twelve years apart, not even blood.
Squeezing Lucas's shoulder as their camper comes into view between the trees, Edward knows there isn't going to be a better time than now to 'fess up, as Lucas would say, thanks to his obsession with cop shows.
"Actually, bud...I need to talk to you about something."
"'Kay. What is it?" Lucas glances up at his dad before getting distracted, laughing as he jogs to catch up with Sienna. Edward watches him go, almost laughing as Lucas wrestles Sienna off the tattered, frayed piece of rope still attached to the stake in the ground that was supposed to keep her in one spot.
He's so innocent. So trusting. There's no sign of worry in his curious expression when Lucas looks up again, finding Edward watching him from the treeline a handful of feet away.
Will he still feel the same way about me? Edward wonders, lead weighting his feet to the earth. Will he still think of me as 'dad?' As his safe landing spot?
Swallowing hard, he wills himself to close the gap and drops heavily at the picnic bench near his son.
Will he want to go be with Bella? His...his mother, something he's never had?
There have been hundreds, maybe thousands of times in Lucas's life that Edward has considered whether his decision to have a child by himself was selfish. Other people have asked the same question, and until recently, his answer had always been that Lucas wasn't missing out.
Lately...
He's not so sure.
"You've got your exasperated face on, Dad," Lucas laughs, sliding onto the bench opposite him. His dimple pops, another stark reminder of his biological mother. "Am I in trouble?"
"No, buddy, not at all." Edward swipes a hand through his hair, ignoring the flash of a memory of Milo doing the same thing ten minutes ago as he got up off the ground. "It's...it's important and it might be...hard to hear."
"Oh, okay. Shoot."
Okay, shoot.
Huffing a humourless chuckle, Edward wishes it could be that simple.
"Okay. So, uh...you know that to have you, I had to get some help?"
Lucas's cheeks flame red. "Aw, Dad," he groans, palming his face and shaking his head. "You don't need to do this."
Edward's brows furrow. "Do what?"
"The, you know…" dropping his voice, Lucas hisses, "the sex talk. School has that covered." Rubbing his face, he mutters, "I thought you said this weekend was gonna be fun. I didn't know I was coming away with Principalward."
Despite the nerves tearing his insides to shreds, Edward can't help it. He laughs—no, he guffaws. The sheer mortification on his son's face...it's priceless.
And—"Principalward?"
Lucas shrugs, a small smile returning to his still-firetruck-red face. "That's what some of the moms call you." His smile becomes a smirk. "Lucy Walter's mom calls you 'hot Principalward,' which is kinda gross and funny."
"Right," Edward chokes, palming his jaw as heat rushes to his ears. "Well, moving on from that."
Lucas snorts and props his elbows on the table, chin resting in his cupped hands.
The earnest, trusting look he aims at his dad does nothing to quell the dread flooding Edward's body.
"Is this about Angela?" Lucas wonders, and Edward slowly shakes his head.
"No, it's not about Angela. But you know, what I'm about to say…it doesn't change things with her. She still cares about you, okay? That won't, this doesn't change that."
Lucas frowns. "Why would it?" For the first time, worry bleeds into his features. "Does she not wanna see me anymore?"
"Of course, she does! Buddy, don't even—Angela loves your lunch dates."
They were Edward's idea, way back when Lucas was just a toddler. Though hesitant at first, she and Lucas had grown to look forward to their every-other-monthly lunch date. One Sunday every couple of months, she picks him up and they go do something fun before having lunch at The Lodge. Having read umpteen books on the subject of surrogacy and children needing to know where they come from, Edward had pushed for them to have some kind of contact.
At the time, Angela had voiced concerns. Now, she often thanks him for letting her see Lucas and watch him grow up, for letting him know that he shares blood with her own four children.
They know otherwise, now. Angela had cried when Edward met up with her to explain what was happening. Like him, she's grieving the loss of the boy they created together, the shattering of their life.
Except now, now Edward has to shatter that illusion for Lucas, too.
"Son, I…" Reaching across the table, Edward wraps his hand around Lucas's forearm, giving it a gentle squeeze as he says, "There was a mix-up at the hospital the night you were born, buddy."
A hard swallow, a breath catching.
"Bella...Bella was there that night, too. She...she had a baby just a little while before Angela had...um, had a baby."
Lucas's brows furrow, but Edward knows that if he doesn't push on, he's never going to make it through what he needs to say.
"Someone, someone made a mistake when they were putting ID bracelets on you and—"
"Milo. Oh...oh, damn," Lucas breathes, all wide eyes and ashen complexion as he drops his arms and stares at Edward, the realization dawning before his dad has to finish the explanation. "You...he…" his throat bobs. "Did they...at the hospital…" Lucas's breath hitches as he stammers, "d-did they switch us?"
I hate this. I fucking hate this so much.
Edward scoots out from his side of the bench, rushing around to sit sideways beside Lucas. To Edward's relief, Lucas doesn't resist when his dad wraps his arms around him.
Nor does Lucas need an answer, tears already starting to stream down his face as his shoulders droop.
"I'm sorry, buddy. I'm so sorry," Edward chokes, face buried in chocolate curls, Lucas turning to press his face against his dad's chest. "I love you, Luke. This—nothing will change that. Okay? You hear me?"
Nodding his head just a little, Lucas croaks a "Uh-huh."
Rubbing a hand up and down his back, Edward just waits. He gives Lucas time, knowing his boy—knowing that he likes time to process big things.
And in the young boy's life, nothing has trumped this.
Life-changing.
That's what the hospital CEO had said in the most recent letter—one of many both he and Bella have received since that meeting a couple of weeks ago.
They're going to try to settle, his lawyer had said when Edward called to tell him. Bella's lawyer agreed.
Funnily enough, both Edward and Bella are in agreement—that 'settling' isn't good enough. They want someone, anyone, to pay. To suffer as much as they, their families, and their innocent children, will.
But when Lucas finally raises his head, wiping his damp face on the back of his arm as he meets the tearful gaze of his dad, Edward knows nothing will make up for this.
Nothing will make this better.
"So, I...that woman, Bella…"
"Bella is your biological mother, Luke."
The boy nods slowly, still processing, still frowning. "And...Milo?"
"Angela is his biological mother. You and Milo were mixed up in the nursery at the hospital."
"Right," Lucas mouths, looking down at the grass under his sneakers. "So, how come you didn't just tell me before?"
"We only found out recently, buddy. I swear to you—look at me." Only once Lucas has raised his gaze to Edward's face does he continue, trying to imbue his words with all the sincerity and honesty in his body. "Luke, if I'd known, if I'd even suspected, I would never have kept this from you. Not in a million years. Okay?"
"'Kay. I guess…" he blows out a big, shaky breath. "I guess I knew that, this is just…it sucks."
Snorting, Edward tugs Lucas back into him and feels a pang hitting him in the chest when Lucas doesn't protest the kiss his dad plants on the top of his head.
"Yeah, bud. This really does suck."