"Bad luck again, my chums. Such an improbable, purely coincidental shame. But you know all about long run odds, don't you? The longer you play the more things even out. I can't keep up this streak forever you know, perhaps if we play again you'll have better chances!" Langston lied.

Mr. Hugs waited for the Ethics meeting to begin and played marbles with a group of horribly unsuspecting titans. Naturally, he was cheating. While all the other smooth brained simpletons used actual marbles in the fashion that the child's game is 'meant' to be played, with 'sportsmanship', Langston used a ball bearing crudely painted to look like a marble. It was metal against glass. Langston's thorn ridden, ethically devoid frontal lobe against his foes' honor and integrity. The poor fools never stood a chance. Their fine collection of marbles were turning into glass dust as quickly as their hopes and dreams.

Langston sat with a full set of legendary gear and the exotic bow Le Monarque, finery he had obtained through equally honest means as he shattered his opponent's sense of self worth.

"It is old Wither's lucky marbles!" Langston had declared. "Sad lil' Withers couldn't be here today. If only he could keep his own marbles… metaphorically speaking of course these are legally mine now."

A wolf in sheep's clothing. But with balls.

Langston had collected the powdered glass of his enemies in a small mountain beside him, titans and hunters alike pounded their fists in frustration while the Warlocks sat apart from the group and played Dungeons and Dragons in the corner. One particularly foolish fool, stood in a rage. Billy, he was called.

"What is this?! Let me see that marble!" Billy demanded. His pride, his joy, the Cat's Eye marble that was coveted by every warrior in the crucible, had exploded before his eyes. Langston slipped the steel ball back into his inventory with the expert sleight of hand only a practiced con man could muster.

"Can't be done lad. It would break Mrs. Withers' heart if anyone but the legal bearer of her mentally shattered husband bore his precious marbles."
"YOU CHEATER!" Billy shouted.

"You accuse me - me - of cheating?! At an ethics meeting?! FOR SHAME SIR."

At that moment, Shaxx entered the room with a clipboard and a steaming cup of coffee. He strode to the podium at the front of the classroom. "Alright everyone, take your seats."

Langston raised his hand frantically, "Lord Shaxx, I must inform you that accusations of cheating have circulated prior to your arrival! It would be improper for me to mention Billy's name, and so the lowlife responsible should remain anonymous. However, my considerably spotless reputation has been tarnished."

Shaxx groaned and leaned his head on his hands. "Traveler… Billy, Langston, come here. What's the issue?"

Billy sprinted to the podium, furious, "This Hunter scum has been using loaded marbles!"

Langston raised his hands, calm, "I did nothing of the sort Lord Shaxx. I was merely using Mr. Withers' lucky marbles, as I am legally entitled to since the dissolution of his psyche. May his sanity rest in peace."

Shaxx put one hand out absentmindedly, "Let me see then."

"He won't let you sir," Billy said, sure of his cause. "Says that the wife or some sort would be indignant if anyone but him were to hold the marble! Bollocks I say! BOLLOCKS!"

"Nonsense," Langston said, smooth. "In the name of this ethics investigation, and with the noble Lord Shaxx presiding, I will of course make an exception. In fact, it's what Mrs. Withers would have wanted. By holding his lost marbles, I too am holding onto the last shred of Mr. Withers' dignity."

Langston pulled out an entirely different marble from before and plopped in Shaxx's hand. The horned legend inspected it. The name 'Seamus B. Withers' was scribbled on it in sharpie, a little heart dotted the "i".

Shaxx perked his head up at evidence of Billy's apparent 'violation' of ethics. "Looks above grade to me…"

"What?!" Billy exclaimed, panicked. He looked at this new marble. "But but but… no. No! That's not the same one!"

"OF COURSE IT IS!" Langston declared. He pivoted on one foot and gestured to the room. "Everyone saw it! Did I not speak of Mr. Withers' lucky marble? And does this not bear the name- 'Seamus'!? Look at the penmanship, the carefully crafted heart, it is something only one as soft and weak as Mr. Withers would have written!"

All the other guardians muttered in confusion, looking to each other to confirm what they had seen, or rather what Langston insisted they had seen. The marble certainly looked different, but by god if Langston wasn't certain it was the same. The Hunter thrust a shaming finger into Billy's face. "I demand my pound of flesh! He's resentful of his loss, resentful that I, not he, was given custodianship of Mr. Withers' estate! So he shames me, seeking to supplant me and comfort the beautiful Mrs. Withers as her husband lies infirm, and incontinent, in the asylum. How dare you, how dare you SIR! You attempt to take advantage of your mentally departed friend, and his WIFE?! I won't allow it. I won't stand for it!"

At this point, even Billy's friends were screaming for his head. The crowd was riotous, angry and incensed. The man was a philanderer, a gigolo, a monster.

"You're disgusting," Langston said.

"Truly," Shaxx whispered, shaking his head, ashamed. Billy looked around the room for any support from his fellows but stood alone. He hung his head and sat at a desk at the back of the room.
"A FINE NOTE TO BEGIN THIS MEETING!" Shaxx roared. Langston swept his powdered glass winnings into a plastic bag. This would make a fine gift for Mrs. Withers, whom Zavala had barred him from ever approaching. He stuffed it in his inventory, and sat at the front of the room, smiling and crossing his legs in a manner befitting the most honorable man in the crucible. Shaxx read out his clipboard.

"We are called here today to discuss the ethics of the crucible due to consistent and flagrant violations of the honor code. And I enter to find you trying to cheat at yet another game? Unbelievable."

Billy whispered like a flogged sheep, "But I didn't -"

Shaxx grabbed his cup of coffee and launched it with the speed of the greatest rail gun in humanity's history at the titan's head. It bore straight through armor and flesh and the concrete wall behind him. Billy respawned, despondent, another lashing to add to his fresh palate of mental scars. A frame sprinted into the room with a fresh cup of coffee and Shaxx took it without looking.

"SILENCE!" He yelled. "IS SPORTSMANSHIP A JOKE TO YOU PEOPLE?! I should have each of you ejected into the sun! Only Mr. Hugs here has proven himself to be a man above reproach."

Langston's smile widened. Typically the brutal annihilation of the reputation of others would be enough to satisfy him. But his unearned praise came from Shaxx himself, a man whose biceps alone had secured the Hunter's admiration and respect. At Shaxx's words of praise, something viscous and sticky coated Langston's thigh.

Shaxx cleared his throat, "Now, the metrics have told me that in games played with the people in this room, showboating is up by 80%. The highest percentage of which is crouching and uncrouching above the head of deceased opponents. Now, we've been having a bizarre issue with the security cameras lately. The servers are consistently slathered with peanut butter before each match. So I cannot say who exactly is responsible for this new phenomenon, but the sheer scale and consistency indicates that at least half of you must be engaged in such behavior!"

Langston tsked, which outwardly seemed to be a condemnation of t-bagging and server peanutbuttration, but which was actually his disbelief that his actions had only resulted in an 80% increase in shaming. He was sure it should've been 90. Shaxx went on.

"Other violations include exiting the map, pointing and laughing, and the strange encrypted message 'gg ez' sent enmasse."

Langston had done it all. It was all him. And the noobs knew it. Every one of them knew it. But where was the proof? The cameras, the servers, nothing but ruined electronics covered in a greasy condiment. How could they stand against a man so recently slighted and anointed by Lord Shaxx himself as honorable above them all? They stayed silent. A horrible and solemn realization overcame them of what exactly had been done to Billy's reputation. In their fervor, they had destroyed Billy. They had been wielded like flaming sheers against the balls of a steer. And in doing so, had ultimately castrated themselves. A crowd of sheep broken by a single wolf. In many ways, Langston was the steel marble.

Lord Shaxx bellowed. "You should all be ashamed of yourselves! Not since the Fuzz clan was first founded has there been such an uptick in crime in the crucible! And make no mistake, these are all acts of CRIME! Punishable by the Tower."

They bowed their heads, they knew they should feel shame. They were, truly, honorable guardians. What they had done to Billy deserved punishment, and if they couldn't find Langston accountable, they would take the punishment themselves.

"There are only so many options at my disposal when such a large-scale breach of ethics has occurred. By the tower you could all be banned from the Crucible. But seeing as this would destroy the sport for the next few years at least, I've decided to simply emphasize the consequences of your actions. BILLY!"

The guardian gulped. An entire crowd began to sweat in unison.

"Y-yes Lord Shaxx?"

Shaxx sprinted across the room, a scorched line of trampled guardians and shattered desks in his wake. He grabbed the titan by the scruff and held him aloft by a single arm.

"You shall be an example to all who disobey the HONOR and INTEGRITY of the crucible!"

"No, no please!"

"THIS IS A TEACHING MOMENT!" Shaxx yelled as he launched Billy through the wall of the Tower. His screams trailed away.

"Billy is henceforth banned from the Crucible, and sentenced to five years of community service in the sewers! Let this be a lesson to you Guardians."

Langston pumped his fist, glad to see the unethical scoundrel get what he deserved.

Shaxx watched the Guardian split through the air like a missile falling to earth. He put a hand to his ear and barely caught the tail end of a wet 'crunch'.

He turned back to the assembled guardians.

"Get out of my sight!"

Langston left the assembly, he looked up at the bright sun, felt the cool breeze on his skin, and whistled a cheery tune to himself. Another fine day.