Chapter 19: Withdrawal.

"John, what have you done to yourself now," was the first thing he heard when he entered the control room twenty minutes later, and for reasons he couldn't explain, it irritated him no end – causing his already pounding head to pound even louder.

"Sorry Teyla, but I found a wraith who fed on me and then Todd turned up and shot it through the head and then he gave me back the years that the other Wraith had taken from me," he told her through gritted teeth.

The look she gave him as she spoke was a look of concern and anger all rolled into one and he didn't like it, "and why is there still a feeding mark on your chest?"

He winced at her tone of voice because she sounded angry with him, "sorry Todd didn't want to get me hooked on the enzyme, so he couldn't heal me completely. Although I wish he had because it hurts like hell.

Teyla sighed and her voice softened – and he wondered whether it was a good thing or not, "I remember what you went through the last time Todd fed on you and then restored your life and I would not want to have to witness that again, so how about we head down to the infirmary to see Maddie?"

He looked at her and smiled. She had no idea how he was feeling right now and there was no way he wanted to worry her with it, "thanks for understanding sweetie because there is definitely no way I would want to go through that again."

They were about to leave when Torren came into the room with Charlie and Dave. His immediate reaction was to try and cover his chest so that the children couldn't see, but unfortunately, Torren had already seen it. Luckily, the children seemed oblivious, but he knew by the look on Torren's face that his son had realised that something was going on.

Torren turned towards the children and smiled, "Hey kids, why don't you take Teyla and show her what we have discovered today?"

John was disappointed when Teyla nodded at the children, "Yes children, how about you show me what you have found while Torren and John have a conversation?"

Once the children had left, John turned to look at Torren, "okay Torren, whatever you've got to say just say it."

Torren looked at him with compassion and it was a look that he hated from his son, "what happened to you Dad?"

The last thing he needed was sympathy from his son, so he put on a brave face as he answered, "well, I got fed on by a Wraith and then when Todd found me and shot it, he gave me back the years that the other Wraith had taken – it's simple really."

He really didn't want to continue the conversation because for some reason he felt jittery, he knew that it had something to do with the wraith enzyme in his system, but what he couldn't figure out was why. The last time it had happened Todd had fed on him four times before his life had been restored, so at the time he had every reason to feel jittery, but this time he'd only been fed on once before he'd had his life returned. Perhaps he would ask Todd about it later, but he certainly didn't want to discuss it with Torren.

Torren's voice pervaded his thoughts and he had to wonder why his son was shouting at him, "Dad, are you listening to me!"

Glaring at him he gave him a one-word answer, "What!?"

"I said is this kind of thing normal for you because you have been injured or we have been under attack ever since you arrived in this time period."

He was fast losing patience, so he plastered a fake smile on his face and spoke as calmly as possible, "Torren I really don't want to talk about it right now, so how about you get back to finding Teyla and me a way home and I'll go to the infirmary and see Maddie – although I think I'd rather go to my room."

"Well, if you don't go straight to the infirmary, I'll send Maddie to look for you," Torren stated firmly.

"Fine!" He spat out before walking off.

By the time he reached the infirmary, his skin was beginning to crawl, and he was sweating profusely. I shouldn't be having withdrawal symptoms, he thought before taking a deep breath and entering.

Maddie was immediately in his face, which left him feeling more than a little agitated, "John, Teyla tells me you've been fed on by a Wraith. How are you feeling?"

That had to be the stupidest question that he'd ever heard, and the answer was he was feeling like crap, but there was no way he was going to tell her that, so he used his usual answer, "I'm fine, so if you could kindly patch me up so that I can go and do something useful?"

"I don't think so!" She stated forcefully, "you're sweating, jittery and agitated. It seems to me as you're going through withdrawal."

There was a sledgehammer wreaking havoc in his skull so he really didn't want to have this conversation right now, "don't be so stupid how can I be going through withdrawal; I was only fed on once and then Todd gave me back the years straight away!"

Maddie was brutal in her response, "you have just proven my point, so put these scrubs on and get in that bed straight away!" She told him in no uncertain terms as she thrust the scrubs into his hands.

She gave him her no-nonsense look and put her hands on her hips, he knew that he should do as she asked, but he still wanted to argue.

Before he had a chance to say anything else his stomach cramped up and pain shot through his entire body and all he could do was double over in agony. The cramp only lasted seconds, but by the time it had finished, he was sitting on the floor and breathing heavily.

"Alright, John let's get you changed and into a bed."

"I think I can change myself!" He shouted.

The look in her eyes as she spoke could only be described as one of compassion – why was everyone looking at him like that today? "Yes, I'm sure that you can, so why don't you do it, then I'll help you get settled and then I'll give you something for the pain."

Once she had walked away, he tried to calm himself and somehow, he managed to get changed and lie in the bed. By the time that Maddie returned his body was trembling all over and his nerve endings were on fire.

"Okay John, now that you're settled, I'm going to put an IV in and then I'm going to give you something to help with the pain. I'm then going to clean and dress your wound."

He just scowled at her as he didn't want to talk about it right now, in fact, he would be happy to be unconscious and a few minutes later he got his wish when he felt a cool soothing liquid flowing through his veins.

The next time he became aware, he wished he hadn't because he was still sweating all over, every nerve in his body was still screaming and what was worse was that Todd was there talking at the top of his voice – and he could have sworn that the wraith was shouting at him.

"Ah Sheppard, your awake."

"What the hell do you want Todd, and can you just shut up!?"

"I see that you're going through withdrawal."

He was so angry at having the be awake, so he just kept shouting, "Yeah, not thanks to you, so why don't you leave me alone and get the hell out of here!?"

His skin was definitely crawling by this time and his muscles were beginning to cramp up. As the muscles in his chest cramped up, he found it difficult to breathe and he wanted to call for help but no sound came out of his mouth. The constriction around his lungs became increasingly painful and he could have sworn that he was about the die. His vision blurred and he saw Todd leaving the room and he wondered why the Wraith wasn't helping him.

He heard someone rushing into the room, but he had no idea who it was because he was in too much pain. Someone put something over his face, and it made him feel claustrophobic, so he tried to push it away, only to have his hands removed. Eventually, he realised that it was Maddie, and she was trying to put an oxygen mask on his face, so he calmed down a little. The pain was so excruciating at this point that he was writhing in agony and just when he couldn't take it anymore, he felt a cool soothing liquid flowing through his veins and the darkness claimed him once more.

The next time he awoke someone was holding his hand and whispering soothing words to him, the only problem was it wasn't helping. His head felt as if someone was chopping it in half with an axe. The touch of the hand left his nerves feeling as if a thousand tiny knives were stabbing him and the whispering agitated his hypersensitive hearing. When he managed to pull his hand away, he immediately regretted it because the pain intensified tenfold. He was in absolute agony, and he realised that he was writhing on the bed.

It wasn't long before a voice pervaded his consciousness, "John, do not worry, Maddie is on the way."

"Maddie can't do anything for me!" He hissed, "why don't you send Todd in, he's the only one who can help me right now!?"

"I am sorry John, but we both know that is not true."

"Come on Teyla I just need a little bit of the enzyme."

"No John!" She shouted and it just infuriated him more.

"Teyla, if you really loved me, you'd go and get Todd to help me right now!"

"John, you know that I love you and I'm here to help you through this."

His thoughts processes were completely irrational by this time, "Why don't you leave me alone Teyla because right now, I HATE YOU!"

There was a sadness in her eyes as she answered, "I know you do not mean that John, so I am going to leave you alone and I will send Maddie in."

"I still think that Todd is the only one who can help me!" He yelled as she left the room.

A minute later Maddie was in the room and injecting something into his IV and although he felt relief when the drug started to flow through his veins, he was still angry.

"Do you think that's going to help me!?" He shouted as the pain settled down a little, although he was still trembling and sweating profusely.

"It will ease the symptoms, but the only thing that is going to help is time."

"We both know that Todd's the only one who can help me, so why don't you go and get him and stop wasting my time?!"

Suddenly his stomach cramped up and he curled on his side to try and alleviate it. Even though he had pain meds in his system it was so excruciating that he screamed. The cramp seemed to go on forever, but eventually, it settled down and he was able to try and breathe through the pain. It was then he realised that Maddie was rubbing tiny circles on his back to try and soothe him and it made him feel like a baby.

He spoke calmly to her, but he was feeling far from it right now, "Maddie, I am not a baby so can you stop what you're doing and leave me alone?"

Relief swept over him when she stopped touching him and helped him lay on his back again.

"I will come and check on you in half an hour when I come to take your vitals."

Nodding at her he watched her leave the room. For now, the pain was muted, and he didn't feel as angry, so he closed his eyes, and it wasn't long before he drifted into a restless sleep.

oOo

For the next four days, John was in agony and for most of that time, he found that he couldn't sleep, even though Maddie had kept his pain meds topped up. His muscles were constantly cramping, his nerves were hypersensitive, and a jackhammer was continually rearranging his skull. The worst thing though was the fact that he was shouting and swearing at anyone who came into the room. This withdrawal was far worse than what he had gone through when Todd had fed on him four times before giving him back his life and he wanted to know why?

Every time someone would enter the room, he would beg them to either kill him, or get Todd to give him some more of the enzyme, but of course, they all refused, making him even more irate.

On the morning of the fifth day the pain seemed to lessen, and he felt less agitated – he knew it was the fifth day because Maddie had told him – he found himself able to fall into a deep sleep.

This time when he awoke, he felt a bit better – although he still felt as if he'd been hit by a puddle jumper – and he was happy to see that Teyla was by his bedside. In the back of his mind, he knew that he should apologise to her for something he'd said, but the only problem was he couldn't remember what he had said. He knew that he would remember eventually and when he did he knew that he would feel terrible about it.

"Hey Teyla, are you alright?"

"Yes, John I am fine, how are you feeling this morning."

"I feel as if I've been hit by a puddle jumper, but other than that I feel a lot better."

He felt the pressure as she squeezed his hand and it actually felt good; unlike the last time she was holding his hand and it had set his nerves on fire.

"I must go and get Maddie because she wanted to know when you were awake."

After watching her leave the room he closed his eyes since he felt totally wiped. He was dozing off when Maddie entered the room, he had no idea where Teyla had gone, but he wished that she were there.

"John, it is good to see you awake, how are you feeling?" Maddie asked as she began to take his vitals.

Suddenly he felt annoyed again – why did he have to keep answering the same question over and over. In the end, he opted to tell her as little as possible, "I'm good."

Maddie flashed a smile and looked at him with an intense glare and he noticed that her bright blue eyes had darkened a little – which had him worried.

"I know that you are lying to me John because I know what you have been through over the last five days and believe me it wasn't pleasant to watch. Now, how about you start telling me the truth?"

Sighing he decided that he should tell her the truth, "if you must know I feel as if I've been hit by a puddle jumper."

"Well, everything appears to be getting back to normal. Your last blood test was clear of the enzyme, so you should begin to feel better from now on."

"Thanks, doc," he said with his eyelids drooping.

"How's the pain, John?"

"It's about a five."

"I'll give you something for the pain and then you should go back to sleep. When you wake up, I'll have Charin bring you some soup."

It worried him that the children may have seen him in the condition he was in, but he had to ask, so he struggled to keep his drooping eyelids open, "Charlie and Dave didn't see me like this did they?"

"No, they have been exploring Arastica and the planet with Torren and Todd. They have asked about you a lot though. They were worried that you may die."

"Are they alright? He asked with concern while struggling to keep his eyes open.

"Yes John, they are fine and eager to come to see you as soon as you're feeling better, but now I think that it's time for you to go back to sleep and when you awake, I'm sure you'll be feeling better again."

She patted him on the shoulder, and he watched her leave the room – for now, all he had to do was sleep and give himself time to heal and right now he was completely happy with that.

oOo

A small voice pervaded his consciousness, and he wasn't sure whether he was awake or asleep, "John, John, I'm so happy that you're feeling better."

The voice spoke again, "John are you awake?"

He still wasn't quite sure what was going on, since everything was black and for a moment he panicked and thought that he was blind again. But he quickly realised that he still had his eyes closed. Finally, he managed to open them and was rewarded with the most endearing sight – Charlie was standing on a chair staring at him.

He smiled deeply when he looked into her deep brown eyes, "Hey Charlie, how are you?"

She climbed onto the bed next to him before answering, "I'm good, but now that you're awake I'm feeling even better."

Putting his arm around her he found that he didn't mind being close to this child, "what have you been up to for the last week or so?"

"Well, I've been giving Teyla cooking lessons because my mom learnt to cook, so I figured if she could learn so could Teyla."

He was intrigued by the fact that the other Teyla could cook, so he wondered how successful Charlie had been with his Teyla, "and how's that working out?"

"Not too well. I'm convinced that she'll never get the hang of it. So, we gave up and she taught me some fighting skills instead."

He looked around the room to make sure that Teyla wasn't there because this is probably the last conversation that she needed to hear. "Well Charlie, that's definitely something she is good at, she's always beating the crap out of me when we spar."

"John, should you be using that word in front of children?" Teyla asked as she entered the room.

"Sorry," he muttered.

He noticed that she was carrying a tray of food and he really hoped that she hadn't been cooking because from what Charlie was saying she still couldn't do it.

"What have you got there?" He asked suspiciously.

"I have brought you your dinner," she announced, and John was worried by the seemingly smug look she had on her face.

"Did you make it?" He asked with apprehension in his voice.

"Yes, Charin taught me how to make chicken soup and I thought that I would make it for you and then you can tell me what you think? I plan to do a lot of cooking for you and Torren when we get home, so you may as well get used to it now."

He watched in horror as she put the tray on the rolling table and took the lid off the bowl. When he got his first look at the food, he wasn't sure what to think, I only hope it tastes better than it looks.

Taking a deep breath, he dipped his spoon in the broth and took a mouthful and his suspicions were confirmed – it tasted absolutely terrible, and his first thought was to spit it out. But then he didn't want to offend Teyla, so he swallowed and put a fake smile on his face.

"What do you think?" Teyla asked with hope-filled eyes.

"Umm…it was, umm…different."

At that point, Charlie burst out laughing and Teyla very quickly joined in, leaving him totally bewildered.

"What is going on?"

"Honey, I know that I cannot cook, but Charlie and I thought that it would be fun to play a practical joke on you."

His first thought was to react angrily, but then he knew that wouldn't win him any points with the two of them.

"Oh…haha, very funny. Do I get any real food or is this all that is on offer tonight?"

Charin was still laughing when she answered, "don't worry John, Torren's going to bring you some chicken stew in a minute as he wants to talk to you, but first Maddie wants to check you out."

"I'm already taken," he quipped.

He didn't miss Teyla rolling her eyes, before she spoke to him, "I am going to do some exploring with Charin now, but I will come and see you later."

She leant in and gave him a kiss on the lips, and he was happy to respond, "See you later Sweetie."

"Goodbye Honey," she smiled, before grabbing Charin's hand and leaving the room.

Once they had gone, he lay his head back on the pillow and waited for Maddie to come and examine him. It had been a rough two weeks for him, and he couldn't wait to get back to his own time to see baby Torren and his friends again. Is that what Torren wants to talk to me about, he wondered, has he found us a way home?

A knock on the door interrupted his contemplations – although there was no door, so technically it was a knock on the door frame. He looked up to see that Torren was standing in the doorway with a grin on his face and a tray of food in his hands.

"Hey, Dad, how are you feeling?" Torren asked as he put the stew on the tray table.

The truth was that although he felt marginally better than he had that morning, he still felt as if he'd been run over by a puddle jumper, but rather than going into detail he opted for his usual response, "I'm fine."

He looked at the food on the table and decided that although it looked edible, he wasn't really hungry right now, so he pushed it away.

Torren just rolled his eyes at him, "anyway… I just came to give you a progress report on my findings for the strange anomaly."

His interest was piqued, "what have you found, have you found us a way home yet?"

"Well, no, I haven't, but I have discovered what the Ancients were doing on this planet."

Feeling a little disappointed, he took a deep breath before waiting for an answer from Torren. When Torren didn't answer, he found himself having to ask and he tried to keep the sarcasm to a minimum, "so are you going to tell me, or are you going to keep it a secret?"

"They were trying to create a stable wormhole with a temporal shift so that they could travel anywhere in space and time. Apparently, it worked on this end, but the other end of the wormhole appears to be jumping from one part of space to another. That's how it appeared over new Athos and brought you here. It is also probably the reason Sheppard and the other Teyla ended up getting thrown back in time and landing on this planet again."

"So can you fix it, so that it can send us home?" He asked hopefully.

"It may take a while, but there are extensive notes in the database, so yes I think I can."

Torren looked at his feet and John sensed that there was something else bothering him, "is there anything else bothering you?"

"I was just wondering why Arastica couldn't help you with the withdrawal from the Wraith enzyme?"

That was definitely a good question and one that he hadn't really given much thought to over the last four or five days. But then if they had expected Arastica to heal them, maybe they should have got him to the chair because that certainly wasn't the first thing on his mind.

"I really wasn't thinking about it when I was writhing on the bed in agony," he told Torren and he winced at how sarcastic he sounded.

"Perhaps if we'd gotten you to the chair, she may have been able to help," Torren suggested thoughtfully.

John didn't miss the guilt in his son's eyes, "it's not your fault, I am well again and that's all that matters. Although, I must admit I'm feeling exhausted again."

"I should get back to work anyway, but before you go to sleep, Todd really wants to see you."

He really didn't want to see Todd right now, but maybe, the big wraith could shed some light on what had happened to him, "alright send him in."

A second after Torren had left Todd walked in with a crooked grin on his face, "Ah John Sheppard it is good to see you looking so well."

"No thanks to you," he mumbled.

"Yes, I'll admit it was my fault. I should have warned you about the new wraith warriors that the queen has been creating. They are stronger and faster than the old ones and they also transfer a larger dose of the enzyme when they feed, therefore their victims either die a more painful death or are more easily addicted to the enzyme, making it easier for the wraith to control them. While the majority of Wraith have been hibernating the few queens that are awake are thinking new and improved ways for their food source to suffer."

He was incredulous by what he had just been told, so he glared at the big Wraith, "really, and you didn't think to tell me that before." He shuddered when he thought of what was going to happen to the humans in the future, "I pity the humans when the Wraith awake from hibernation."

"I know that is why you must go back in time and help me perfect the retrovirus so that wraith don't have to feed on humans any longer."

"Well Torren's working on a way to send us home," he said while stifling a yawn that threatened to split his head in two.

"You look as if you could use some more sleep, so I'll leave you to it."

"Catch you later Todd."

"Goodnight, John Sheppard."

Once Todd had left the room, he closed his eyes and tried to go back to sleep, he had no idea how long he'd been awake, but he was certainly more congenial towards the others than he had been for the last five days.

He was on the edge of sleep when Maddie came in and checked his vitals, but he didn't bother to open his eyes and it wasn't long before he drifted off to sleep.

A voice pervaded his consciousness, and it was a voice that he instantly recognised "John Sheppard, it is good to see you again."

He looked around and it didn't take him long to realise that he was on his favourite balcony again and Arastica was with him in the form of Elizabeth.

"Oh, hey Arastica."

"I am glad to see that you're feeling better John."

"About that, why couldn't you have helped ease the severity of the withdrawal."

"You were unable to connect with me, John. If your friends had managed to get you to the chair room, I may have been able to help. It was horrible for me to have to watch you suffer and not be able to help."

"I'll tell you what I told Torren this morning – it's not your fault, so you have no reason to feel guilty about it."

"I do not know what you mean, but I will let you go now, as you still need to get plenty of rest. Goodbye John."

"Goodbye Arastica."

He watched as the balcony and Arastica faded away, then he fell into the darkness once more….

TBC…