Chapter Seven

Please Don't Hate Me

The problem when he was with Videl, was that he couldn't think straight. So he hadn't thought much into it when he planted a soft kiss just below her jawline; he'd just gone with the flow, letting his amusement at her reaction to seeing him shirtless get to him and make him slip-up. And he didn't even realize he was in trouble while he had locked eyes with her. Naïvely, his heart began hoping again. Hoping that Videl might, just might be feeling something more for him than only friendship. That she might be attracted to him – and she was certainly looking so, with the way she'd been staring at him.

And then those dreadful, dooming words escaped her lips in a hushed, disbelieved breath. She stared at him, her face still flushed. But her eyes… her blue eyes were so accusing and hurting.

And Gohan blanched, some sense coming back to his head as he realized what he'd just done. What he'd already done, as someone else; as a person with whom he should have no link whatsoever. And he'd been so careful not to meet with Videl again as "him"; as this superhero character he had created.

"You're him, aren't you?" she said again, her words sounding more like a statement than a question.

A big, constricting lump had formed in his throat; Gohan tried to say something in response – but what could he say? How could he attempt lying to her again when, one, he was such a terrible liar she would see through it right away, and two, he hated lying to her more than anything and knew how much she despised lies? But how to go with the truth? She looked so betrayed and hurt already; how could he confirm something that would only hurt her more?

"Please, Gohan, tell me." She looked so… vulnerable, all of a sudden. Imploring him. She held his arm and looked up to him with big, teary blue eyes. "Please don't lie to me."

Ugh… How could he be so cruel and do the one thing she hated most when she was looking at him like this? So desperate, so pleading… He swallowed hard, his throat tight, his palms sweaty. He had to tell her, didn't he?

More than that, Gohan realized – he wanted to. He wanted her to know this part of him, and he wanted to trust her with his secret.

"I… Y-Yes. I am. I'm Saiyaman."

x

She thought she would be relieved to hear him admit it. That truth was always better than lies – but not this time. Videl actually wished that Gohan and Saiyaman weren't one and the same. That Gohan hadn't engaged this double-dealing, that he hadn't played with her feelings like he had. Flirt with her as one guy, be friendly as another. And then avoid her as Saiyaman, while Gohan slowly but surely made his way to her thoughts and into her heart.

Something foreign was blurring her sight, and she took a few steps back. Away from him. From this liar. This player. This boy who meant more to her than she dared to admit; the one person who was capable of hurting her, which was exactly what he had done.

Were those… tears? It had been so long since she'd last cried, it felt odd. Salty and wet. Ugh, she was actually crying! And the tears just kept coming, no matter how many times she wiped them away.

Gohan looked absolutely aghast, his face even paler than before, and she turned away from him, ashamed and unwilling to let him see her in such a pitiful state.

"Videl…"

She heard him take a few steps to her, and her first instinct was to flee. Run away from him, from this school, from this damned festival. From this hateful day.

She knew she would've been better off staying in bed this morning.

x

Oh god, oh god. She was crying. He actually made the one person who meant the most to him cry. Gohan was rooted on the spot, his heart tearing further apart from seeing her like this, as she fruitlessly tried to stop more tears from coming.

He'd whispered her name, starting towards her, when she turned away from him, and saw her stiffen. He instinctively reached out and grabbed her hand, even before she could start running – because he knew she was about to run away from him. And he just couldn't let her. Not like this. Not ever.

His body reacted before his mind did, and he pulled Videl to him, holding her close against him. His arms encircled her as she tried to struggle, tried to push him away and only cried harder. Gohan closed his eyes tightly and didn't let go. He couldn't, wouldn't let her go. She was too precious to him. Too important.

She sobbed against his chest and eventually stopped struggling – she even leaned into him, her small fists tightly closed against his bare torso.

"I'm so sorry, Videl," he said in her ear, his desperate voice but a murmur. "Please don't hate me. I'm so sorry."

He kept whispering in her ear, apologizing to her over and over again. He felt so awful, he hated himself so much for lying to her and pretending to be someone else. He had no excuse. She had all the reasons to hate him – yet the mere idea of Videl hating him was unbearable to him and tightened the lump caught in his throat. He just wouldn't be able to deal with it if she ever did.

So he just kept her in his arms and held her close, as if life itself depended on it – and for him, indeed it did. Videl meant everything to him. He needed her too much.

Damn it, he loved her.

ooOoo

As she walked through the front door, Videl caught sight of her reflection in the mirror at the entryway and made a face. Her eyes were red and puffy, her complexion sickly pale. She looked just terrible.

The teen let out a sigh, dragging her feet to her bedroom. Good thing her father was out for the day, probably giving his stupid speech at the festival. Even the house workers had had their day off, so she was completely alone in the enormous mansion – which she was more than glad for.

Once she got in her room, she immediately started stripping herself and without a pause, walked to her personal bathroom. She turned the water on and avoided looking at her reflection as she got inside the tub, the hot water slowly filling up around her.

Gohan is Saiyaman.

The notion wasn't quite registered in her mind still. She just couldn't believe it had been Gohan all along. That he pretended so easily as this "Saiyaman" persona of his. That if she hadn't found him out, he would have kept deceiving her, and she wouldn't have ever known that Saiyaman and he were the same person.

Saiyaman is Gohan.

And they were so different from each other. While Saiyaman was confident and even a little arrogant, Gohan was shy and humble. Saiyaman had flirted with her on their first meeting, while Gohan, when she'd met him, had only managed to get on her nerves – even though it had been out of genuine concern. Actually, that wasn't their real, first meeting, she corrected herself. It had been after that bank robbery on his first day, wasn't it? The robbery he had stopped, she realized.

Well, that explained his lying about what he saw. Or rather, what he did.

It was the one thing Gohan and Saiyaman had in common: they were both liars. Obviously, since they were the same person. She still didn't fully comprehend it.

How does he change his looks like that?

This part was one of the most confusing, because as Saiyaman, his hair and eyes looked very much real, with no artifice or trick to change their color. He definitely wasn't wearing contact lenses – these things were too obvious. His hair looked natural – surreal, yes, but completely natural. And what was up with this glowing thing, and the warm aura? How could it even be possible?

Videl sighed, diving her chin into the water. The tub was nearly full now, and she waited some more before turning off the faucet. She let the warm water relax her tense muscles, and let her eyes fall shut, leaning her head back.

Her mind went to unforgivable places, reminding her how it felt to be held in his arms. His big, strong, bare arms. How she could hear his frantic heartbeat racing, thumping against her cheek. How his breath felt on her skin, as he kept whispering apologies in her ear, over and over again. How warm and soothing it had felt.

How close and desperately he'd held her. How amazing, wonderful it'd been to feel so… treasured. And god, how she craved to be in his arms again. To be held by him, all the time.

If only…

She felt pathetic. Here she was, fantasizing about a guy who had been lying to her from the moment they met. What was wrong with her?

Can't believe it was him all along, she thought for what seemed like the umpteenth time today. And then Videl blinked her eyes open, a new thought occurring to her. What should she do about Erasa? She was her best friend, and she was unknowingly in love with a superhero in disguise. And yet Videl knew she couldn't possibly tell her about this. It wasn't her secret to share, but at the same time didn't Erasa have the right to know who she was really dealing with?

She dove her head underwater in frustration, holding her breath as she stayed there for as long as possible. The peaceful silence was welcome; it allowed her mind to shut down for a short while. But unfortunately, she eventually had to come out, gasping for air.

She wiped her face with her hands and noticed the wrinkles on her fingertips. But she wasn't ready to come out just yet; she wasn't ready to go out and face the world. It was safe here, in the bathtub. As long as she was in there, the outside world couldn't reach her.

As if, thought Videl tiredly. From the moment she soaked in the warm water, she did nothing but think of this mess that was her life. Sometimes she wished she had a normal life, with normal friends and a normal father who wasn't a fake. And even a normal boyfriend – after all normal girls had normal boyfriends, right? One that her best friend wasn't already infatuated with, if possible.

But no, she couldn't have all that, could she? Her dad was still a fraud, she was friends with a frigging superhero who also happened to be the only guy she'd ever taken an interest in, but of course, her best friend liked him first. Some impossible situation this was.

It would've been easier if Gohan had feelings for Erasa, but noooo, the idiot actually liked her, of all people. Damn it. Damn it all.

A normal life? What was that?

x

Erasa was a little worried about Videl. She didn't know the exact reason, but Videl had always hated the Victory Festival. Ever since her dad had saved the world, in fact, she only seemed to become more and more distant with the man. At first, Erasa had tried to make her friend tell her the reason, but after a while she decided to let it slide, hoping that one day Videl would come to her by herself and confide in her.

She'd barely seen her at all today, though, since the festival began, and Videl wasn't responding to her calls either. The blonde thought of letting her be, but something in her guts told her Videl needed her friendship right now.

Erasa knew the house staff wasn't working at Videl's place today, like every year on this day, so it might be a little tricky to get inside. Videl might not even be home or hear her ring the bell if she was listening to her crazy music with the volume to the maximum. Usually, it wasn't much of a problem since there were always maids and butlers to answer the door for her – but not today. Eying the tall, impressive mansion, Erasa tried to call Videl yet again.

A frustrated sigh escaped her lips as she pushed her cell phone into her purse and walked over to ring the intercom. Only once or twice at first, but then her impatience got to her and she just kept pressing the button on the intercom, over and over again.

"Dammit Videl, answer me," she said through gritted teeth. Where could she be? If Videl wasn't home and wasn't answering her phone, how was she supposed to find her?

And then a miracle happened.

"Y-Yes! Sorry!" the breathless voice answered at last. "Who is it?"

"Who do you think, dummy?" she said impatiently. "Care to open the gates for me?"

"Oh! Erasa! Uh, sure, just a moment."

There was some shuffling and muttering, as Videl seemed to have trouble figuring out the locked system – how nice must it be to have people doing all the daily stuff for you, huh. Unless when they're not around, that is.

Finally, the tall gates were pulled open and Erasa was able to walk along the luxuriously decorated pathway to reach the door. She waited for Videl to open it for her, and waited some more, and then she sighed in frustration. Such a big house really wasn't convenient.

The doors were jerked open, "Sorry!" said Videl.

Erasa raised an eyebrow at the bathrobe wrapped in obvious haste around the other girl, the belt loosely tied about her waist. Videl ushered her inside and led her to the kitchen, using a towel to dry her hair as the blonde took a seat on a bar stool.

"You were pretty insistent with that bell, huh?" said Videl, finishing to wrap the towel around her head and serving some cold drinks.

"Sorry," said Erasa with a sheepish smile. "I was afraid you weren't home, and you weren't answering your phone either so… yeah."

"Sorry about that." Videl took a seat on a bar stool as well, sitting across from her. "I think I forgot it today."

"Right, you 'forgot it', like, it was totally accidental," said Erasa, rolling her eyes.

"You know me too well." Videl cracked a smile.

She seems normal enough, thought the blond-haired girl, eying the brunette while they chatted about this and that. Maybe I worried too much.

And yet she wasn't so sure about that, either. Something did feel off with Videl, and it appeared to be more than just today's date. Her smiles were mild, her chuckles half-hearted, her attention not so focused. Something was definitely going on, and Erasa wasn't sure whether she should try and make Videl spill it, or wait for her to confide in her by herself.

In the end, Erasa went for the latter. If Videl was going through something, she wasn't going to force it out of her and possibly make matters worse. They were the best of friends – surely Videl would eventually confide in her, right?

ooOoo

Gohan had thought it all through pretty much all night – and yet he still didn't come to a decision. After he'd held Videl back and kept her close against him, when they'd pulled apart, the atmosphere became so awkward they both simply parted ways with bright, deep blushes of embarrassment.

And the boy was trying to figure out what to do with Videl. Should he tell her everything about him? Should he give up on her? Or on the contrary, should he keep trying to win her over? Something was blocking her, but it didn't seem to be because she didn't share his feelings. That meant he did have a shot with her, and if that was really the case, however slim his chance may be, Gohan was more than willing to put his heart at risk again.

There was still the issue of whether or not he should tell Videl everything about him. Now that she knew Saiyaman was him, she was bound to wonder about the story behind him, not to mention his Super Saiyan transformation. This would be the trickiest part; Gohan was more than reluctant to tell her about his origins. Besides, wasn't it a little too soon to tell her? They've known each other for, what, two months? A little less than that. It may have been enough to fall for her, but not likely to tell her about his alien heritage.

Although… If she asked him directly, lying to her was out of the question. Not after the way she reacted yesterday… He was still feeling sick in the stomach just thinking that he'd made Videl, his precious Videl cry.

But would that mean…? Could he really tell her everything if she happened to ask him the right questions?

The boy was on his way to school, sitting on his golden cloud. He tried to swallow a lump forming in his throat, feeling his hands grow sweaty from anxiety and wiping them on his brown pants.

He could only pray that it was going to end well, for him as well as for Videl.

Preferably with them ending up together.

ooOoo

The day following the Victory Festival, the school was still in quite a mess, even though it was cleaned up the day before. The library was no exception, sadly, so Gohan had quite a lot to do after class that day. He didn't mind so much. Chores weren't "chores" to him, per se. They allowed him to get his mind off of things – and with the current complicated situation with Videl, he more than needed it.

Besides, he was hoping to see her walk through those double doors soon enough. Although, at the same time, he was dreading the moment she would – he was still unsure as to what to do and what to tell her. Yet, he would always feel restless when she wasn't around, wishing he could see her and spend time with her. Missing her, to put it simply.

It was so tough to be in love.

An hour into his work at the library, Gohan was starting to lose hope to see her today. An odd feeling of longing mixed with relief filled him, and the young man let out a heavy sigh as he glanced yet again at his watch.

He still needed to talk to her, however, feelings of dread or not. He had to at least know if she was still his friend, and whether she was still mad at him or had forgiven him. He hoped with all his heart that it was the latter. Even if it would only be as friends, even if she still didn't want to be more, not seeing her at all would be much worse than that. He cared about her too much to let it happen, and he was willing to wait if time was what she needed. Or do whatever it was she needed in order to finally be with her.

For now though, staying just friends was fine. For now.

He took out his brand new cell phone (he'd only gotten it since he started high school) and browsed through his contact list for Videl's name. His fingers hesitated on the buttons of the device, pondering on the cleverness of calling or texting her. If he called her she might not pick up, and he wasn't confident enough to leave a voice message. A text would be more convenient in that way, but if she didn't answer or ignored it he would still be in the same point as now. Well, it was still better than taking no action at all, he figured.

So he began to type a text, having some trouble while doing so seeing as he wasn't quite used to texting yet. He read over what he wrote several times as he typed, and a few more when he was done. Letting out a tired sigh, he was finally ready to send the text to Videl – but he was still unsure on whether it was a good idea. Maybe he'd better leave her alone until she came to him by herself because, surely, there were things she would want to ask him about his Saiyaman thing. Maybe she needed her space, and he should give her that.

In the end, he decided the hell with it, and pressed the button on his phone to send the message.

… Just as the double doors were pushed open, followed by a distinct melodic beep. Gohan blinked, a smile itching on his lips as he watched Videl reach for her cell phone in her bag to check her texts – the one he'd just sent her.

He walked over to her and before she could start reading, grabbed her hand to stop her. "I sent you a text asking you to come here. It was me just now," he explained, unable to stop a smile from stretching out his lips.

What could he say? He was just happy to see her.

"Oh. Okay," she said in reply, letting her arm fall to her side.

Her lack of reaction, or at least of her usual wit, caused Gohan's smile to falter. He looked away nervously and scratched at the hair on the base of his neck, his cheeks reddening ever so slightly.

"Um, mind if we go over there to talk?" he offered, motioning to the rows of bookcases with his head.

"… Sure."

A dreadful feeling was forming in the pit of his stomach. As they walked over, behind the shelves and out of sight of anyone passing by – mostly only Mrs. Huston – Gohan couldn't help feeling pessimistic by Videl's catatonic response. Was there really no hope for them? Not even to go back to the way they were before he screwed everything up?

"School's been out for a while. What have you been up to?" he asked, hoping to get her to speak more than two words.

"I was training at the boxing club," she replied, unknowingly making Gohan feel relieved at the full sentence. "Well, mostly using their punching bags really."

He then noticed just how nice she smelled – such a sweet scent of peaches, as always. He gulped, figuring that she must be just out of the shower. Noting how her hair wasn't completely dry. How she was only wearing a somewhat baggy, white tank top over a tight, black one. How beautiful her legs looked in those loose jeans shorts. How desirable she was, right now.

Damn. He wanted her so much.

"Don't you have things to ask me?" he said quickly, keen to distract his mind and the indecent train of his thoughts.

She leaned back against the shelf behind her and looked sideways, playing with her left pigtail. "What's the point? Aren't you going to lie again anyway?"

"I'm not," he affirmed, with no hesitation. His confident tone made her look back at him, her eyebrows raised, and he took that opportunity to move a little closer to her – which was maybe not the smartest move seeing how madly attracted to her he was right now. Her sweet scent was intoxicating, and while Gohan only wanted to close his eyes and bask in it as much as possible, he forced himself to focus. "Not anymore," he continued. "Not ever. You can ask me anything. I will answer with the truth, and only the truth."

He was aware of how risky this promise was, but he couldn't imagine lying to her ever again after what happened yesterday. He never wanted to see tears in Videl's beautiful eyes again, not if he could help it. And certainly not ones caused by him – never again.

"Anything?" she asked cautiously, not quite convinced still. "Anything at all?"

He took another step to her. "Yes, anything. No more lies – ever."

She was so close now, so tempting and desirable. The gap between them was so little you could barely fit in a tennis ball, and Gohan noticed how her breath seemed to get quicker. He could not stop the tiny smile from curling the corner of his mouth.

She was attracted to him, all right. Now, if only he could get her to accept his feelings…

"Then how – how do you change?" she whispered breathlessly, not taking her eyes off of his as she was more and more backed up against the wooden shelf. "Your hair… and your eyes. And the glowing thing. How do you do it?"

Well, he didn't know how she managed to stay focused while obviously struggling to do so – he could hardly refrain himself from closing the distance and kissing her.

God, how he died to kiss her…

"I'm not normal," he answered, his fingers itching to touch her skin. It looked so smooth, so irresistible. "I get it from my dad's side."

It seemed to confuse her. Was he really going to have to tell her he was half-alien?

"What do you mean?"

"My parents didn't know when they got married," he said, struggling to find a way to phrase it while Videl was so… so distracting. By this point he was speaking really fast, as if he couldn't wait to be done with it. "When I was about four, a strange man came looking for my dad, said he was from an alien race of warriors and that—"

"Aliens?" she repeated in a whisper, her pupils dilating in surprise.

"Yes, aliens," he confirmed. It was hard enough concentrating when she wasn't interrupting him. "He claimed to be my dad's older brother."

She swallowed audibly. "And was he? Your father's brother?"

He only nodded his head, not taking his eyes off of her. Moving even closer to her, he touched her cheek lightly, and chose his words carefully. "Do I scare you?"

She didn't say anything. Her mouth parted slightly, her eyes not leaving his for even a moment; his hand on her smooth cheek. He repeated the question, getting restless. He needed to know how she felt about all this. That she was okay with it and wasn't going to run away scared. That he actually had a chance of a future with her.

It felt like an eternity had passed when she finally answered.

"I…" she paused, and broke eye contact with him as she closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. "I don't think so," she finally said, before looking at him again. "I know you're a good person. A liar, yes. But you have a kind heart."

He cracked a smile, relief washing over him. "I only lied because I had to. If I went around telling people who I really am, how do you think they'd react?"

"Call you crazy?" she said, the hint of a joke in her tone.

"Well I would've had proof anyway," he said in response. "But you see my point."

"I guess…" she said, looking thoughtful. "Then why are you telling me? Why did you decide to tell me the truth?"

"Because I hate myself so much for making you cry," he uttered out, the vivid memory of her tear-filled eyes still haunting him. She blushed slightly in embarrassment at the mention of her crying. So cute. "Because I trust you. And because…"

She seemed to lean over him some more, as if eager to hear the rest. She was so close, so damn close. Her lips were tantalizing. How much longer would he have to resist?

"And because I… I can't help how I feel about you," he whispered, his heart drumming against his ribcage as he spoke out loud his feelings for her for the first time. "Because I'm falling for you, and I can't stop it. I'm falling so hard, Videl. You have to give me a chance…"

He was closing the distance between them, almost completely, and aimed for her lips. He just couldn't fight it anymore. He wanted her too much; he wanted her all to himself. And damn it, he was going to kiss this girl.

"Go… Gohan…" she breathed out, swallowing. She was tensing up, he could tell. "What are you… doing…?"

"I'm going to kiss you," he replied, just as breathless. Their lips were so close now, he was sure she could feel his breath mingling with hers, just as he could.

"You… You can't… Don't…"

She said that, but she wasn't pushing him away this time. On the contrary, her body seemed to lean towards him as well, going against her words. What did she actually want? What was stopping her from giving in to him?

"I can't hold back any longer," he said, his voice so low it was barely audible. "I want to be with you, Videl. I need you so much…"

He had her completely backed up against the shelves, his hand still cupping her cheek while his knee slid between her legs to keep her there. His other hand rested above her head, the elbow against the bookcase, while she gripped the wood behind her with both hands.

"Please… don't… we can't…"

He looked at her through half-lidded eyes. Could he really stop now? He really didn't want to, and although she was saying otherwise, Videl obviously didn't want him to stop, either – maybe as much as he didn't.

"Don't you at least like me?" he risked himself asking, praying for a positive answer.

"I… I…" She looked torn about something. "It-It doesn't matter. I can't," she finally said, her cryptic words only making him confused.

"If you say you don't like me, I won't kiss you," he decided, albeit reluctantly.

"Gohan…"

She had closed her eyes, so as not to look at him, and Gohan inched a little closer again. "Say it, or I'm kissing you."

"I… I…"

He smiled in triumph and stroked her cheek with his thumb, letting his eyes slide shut as well. "I'm kissing you, then."

"Gohan… Please… We can't…" she pleaded again, almost panting.

He felt a pang in his heart at her protest. Seriously, what was stopping her from letting him kiss her? Why wouldn't she give in?

He decided to go for it anyway. The tension they built up was too much, they'd gone too far – he just couldn't stop now, even if he'd wanted to. And he sure as hell didn't.

His hand moved to her chin and lifted her head slightly. She whispered his name again, although he wasn't sure whether it was another protest or a moan of anticipation. A little of both, perhaps.

He murmured one last thing to her, before finally tasting her tempting lips.

"Please don't hate me for this…"