Chapter Twelve

Do You Love Me?

The sunrays hit his eyelids, and Gohan's face scrunched up as the bright light that entered through the window woke him up. His eyes fluttered for a few seconds before opening, the sleep still weighing heavily on them.

And then he blinked, meeting the unfamiliar sight that should have been his bedroom. He shifted his gaze to the bundle in his arms – a bundle that didn't turn out to be his pillow like he had assumed. Videl was sleeping peacefully against his chest, all snuggled up to him as he held her close against him. His eyes softened at the lovely sight, and a gentle smile curled up his lips.

So they ended up falling asleep at some point, he mused. Gohan carefully rolled Videl on her back and lay beside her, the side of his head resting on his folded arm as he enjoyed the view of her adorable sleeping face. His smile widening as a warm, tingly feeling tickled his chest, the lovesick boy brushed away a few stray strands from Videl's angelic face.

"I love you so much…" he whispered to himself, his voice barely audible.

His hand moved to stroke her cheek. His heart was swelling so much. What a lovely way to wake up in the morning…

He watched her sleep some more, unwilling to move an inch. He felt so happy, so completely at peace. Here he was, lying beside the girl the loved, gazing upon her beautiful face as she slept soundly… Gohan felt like he was floating on a little cloud.

He leaned over and pressed his lips on her cheek. She let out a soft sigh, and the boy smiled as Videl started to wake up. Her lips pursed and she winced, moaning in protest as she obviously wished she could continue sleeping. Gohan chuckled and tucked her hair behind her ear.

"Hey there, sleepy head."

Her eyes suddenly shot open, widening as they locked on his. "Wha… Go… Gohan…? What are you…?"

And then a flash of recognition passed through her face as Videl seemed to recall how he ended up in her bed last night. She rolled away from him and sat up, trying to arrange her hair; the way she did so was rushed and shaky, betraying her agitated state of mind. The side braid was in a mess, so Videl untied her hair and combed through her thick strands with her fingers, showing him her back.

A lump rose in his throat. To think he had felt so happy just a second ago, watching the girl he loved as she slept… But reality caught up to them, and none of their issues were anywhere near resolved.

"I… uh…" Videl cleared her throat, her voice still raspy from sleep. "I'm grateful to you for comforting me last night… But, um… you know…"

Gohan slowly sat up, and his shoulders slumped as he heaved a deep, dejected sigh, staring at his hands on his lap. "It's because Erasa likes me, right?"

He felt her stiffen, and turned his head in her direction just when Videl looked at him with wide eyes. "How do you…? When did you…?"

"I didn't figure it out, I'm still as clueless as always about these things," he said in self-derision, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips at his little joke. He even managed to get a tiny smile out of Videl, and felt the mood lightening slightly with great relief. "My mom was worried about me last night, and I ended up telling her everything about us… And, I don't know how she did it, but she figured out what you meant when you said you would be betraying Erasa if you accepted my feelings, the other day."

"Ah…"

x

Videl swallowed, turning away from Gohan once again. This was bad. Gohan wasn't supposed to find out about Erasa's feelings like that. If only she hadn't said anything that morning at the library… Then again, it was only when she said it that Gohan backed down, so what else could she have done? Her back hunched and she heaved a deep, tired sigh. This whole situation was so complicated… And now she had robbed Erasa the chance to properly confess her feelings to the boy she loved.

Not that it would have gone well anyway, had her best friend decided to tell Gohan how she felt about him.

Videl felt his hand on the small of her back and she held her breath as the simple touch sent tingles through her spine, even through the fabric of her shirt. Videl was reminded then of her date last night, and how any contact with Reece felt like nothing at all.

She turned her gaze to him. Gohan had that adorable serious look on his face, and the girl felt her heart melt at the sight of him.

"Look, Videl, I get why you rejected me. I don't want to hurt Erasa either. She's a great girl, and she was my very first friend at school. I care deeply about her… but I don't have romantic feelings for her, and I never will. There's nothing we can do about it, Videl… Erasa's going to hurt either way."

A lump rose in her throat, her eyes welled up. Yes, she knew all that. She was well aware that her weak attempt at protecting her best friend was bound to fail miserably in the end.

"I can't do that to her, Gohan," she murmured hoarsely, shaking her head. "I just can't. Even if she's never going to be with you, I just can't be with the boy she's completely crazy about. It'd be one thing if you started dating another girl – but me, her best friend in whole world? Do you realize how much more that'll hurt her?"

x

Completely crazy about…? Gohan felt like a brick was constricting his throat, making it hard to swallow.

Did Erasa feel that strongly about him…? How on earth did he not see anything?

His hand trembled as he ran it through his untidy hair. "I get it… But, surely, she'll get over me eventually and move on, right? Besides, if we could just talk to her, I'm sure…"

"No!" Videl whipped her head around and stared at him with her eyes wide open in alarm. "She can't know anything about us! It's bad enough that I let it go this far…"

"Um…"

Gohan looked at the ceiling, scratching his cheek. Oh, man… This was bad. Well, sure, it wasn't like he could've known at the time, but he pretty much told Erasa everything the other day… At least she didn't know he and Videl had kissed, he tried to comfort himself…

He could feel Videl narrowing her eyes at him, and a trickle of sweat rolled down his temple as he kept his stare fixated on the ceiling. The corners were so fancy, decorated in a way that made him think of an ancient castle that got turned into a museum…

"Gohan… What did you do?"

He swallowed. "I… uh…" He gave her a nervous smile. "I couldn't have known… Erasa told me about your date and I… Well, she noticed how much it affected me and asked me what was wrong so I… told her…"

Videl closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Tell me you're joking… Please, tell me this is a joke… After everything I had to do, please tell me you didn't ruin all my effort by telling Erasa what happened between us…"

"I, uh… I didn't tell her everything…" he said meekly, lowering his head in shame. "I just told her how I felt about you, and that you rejected me…" He swallowed. "I… I couldn't have known…" he said again, trying to justify his blunder.

She blew a long, heavy breath. "Okay… So you didn't tell her about kissing me? I guess it could've been worse…"

Gohan watched the girl, sitting so close to him, yet still not close enough. Her mere presence was pulling at his heartstrings. He pinched his lips nervously.

"Videl, look…" The mattress sunk under his weight as he moved a little closer to her. It made Videl shift her gaze onto him. "I get where you're coming from. And you're right, it'll probably hurt Erasa a lot more if I got together with you rather than with anyone else…"

He took a long, deep breath, gathering his courage. His heart was racing like crazy.

"But I don't want anyone else. I won't be with anyone else." He cupped her cheek, and his voice quivered as he kept going… "I love you, Videl. Only you. I can't help it – I didn't get a say in it. I couldn't help falling helplessly in love with you…"

That was it. He said it. He may have hinted it before, but now he had clearly said the words.

He watched Videl, his heart agitated and restless as she stared at him with her mouth parted slightly and a lovely blush across her cheeks. Her eyes were wide open, and short breaths were slipping through the small gap between her lips.

Her silence was killing him. So he went for it and bluntly asked her, "Do you love me?"

Her eyes welled up at the question. Gohan felt a painful pang in his chest. He was making her cry again… Damn it, why did this keep happening? Was he doing a mistake by confessing his love to Videl, by fighting for her still? Should he have given up for good, like he had decided before?

Was it really not meant to be, he and Videl…?

"I…" She swallowed thickly. A few tears slipped from her eyes and she shut them tightly. "Don't do this to me, Gohan…"

His mother was wrong: this was hopeless. Videl was viscerally incapable of betraying her best friend. Chichi didn't have all the facts, after all – she couldn't know just how righteous and stubborn Videl was. The combination may have been one of the reasons that made him fall in love with her, but it was also why he could never be with her. It was hopeless. Utterly, irremediably hopeless.

He had tried everything. He had fought as hard as he could – but they were doomed from the start. It was never going to happen.

He was defeated.

He let his forehead drop on her shoulder, shutting his eyes tightly to force his tears down.

"So this is it, then…" he uttered in a hoarse breath. "You do realize she's still going to hurt… Do you feel that guilty about how you feel about me that you're willing to sacrifice your happiness as well as mine for her sake, even though she's still going to hurt because I don't share her feelings?"

Why was he still trying? It was hopeless. Hopeless! Nothing he said was going to make a difference. Videl was never going to go for it. It was all pointless. Nothing was going to change her mind. He was just wasting his breath.

"We could be so happy together… And Erasa will get over me with time. She's a great girl, I'm sure tons of guys would be more than happy to be her boyfriend."

Couldn't he shut up already? Why couldn't he stop trying? It was over! Couldn't he get it? It was never going to happen! He was never going to be with Videl. Never.

"I'm willing to wait for you, Videl… If you'd rather wait until Erasa has moved on, I get it, and I'll wait for you."

"Gohan…" He heard longing and guilt in the way she said his name.

He wrapped his arms around her and leaned forward, making her lie back on the bed while he lay on top of her.

"I love you so much, Videl." His voice was breaking as he said those words. "I know I should just give up, but I can't. I want to be with you. I feel so heartbroken." He drew a shaky breath and buried his face in the crook of her neck, the lovely scent of her hair invading his nostrils. "Maybe it's because you haven't rejected me properly, because I can feel that you share my feelings, and I can't… I just can't let go of you… I can't let go of you, because I know that you don't really want me to."

x

Videl closed her eyes tightly, feeling Gohan's unconditional love wash over her whole being. It glowed so brightly, so vividly. It was so beautiful and pure.

It made her heart swell, yet at the same time, it was tearing it to pieces.

He was right, of course. About everything. She was merely protecting Erasa from a little more pain, but it was pointless in the end because Erasa would still get rejected by the boy she loved.

Was she punishing herself? Was she only doing this out of guilt? Okay, so she ended up falling for the same guy as her best friend, but it wasn't like she had control over how she felt. It wasn't like she had planned for it to happen. And she certainly hadn't intended for Gohan to fall in love with her. If she had any say in it, and despite how she felt about him and how much it would have hurt; if Videl had any say in it, Gohan would have gotten together with Erasa.

But it couldn't happen. The idiot had to develop feelings for her, of all people.

"I can't go on like this…" Gohan uttered in a shaky breath. "You… You have to reject me properly, Videl." He swallowed loudly, but, in contradiction with his words, his arms tightened around her as he said that. "Please, Videl… Do it properly, or I'll never be able to really give up on you. Tell me you want me out of your life. Tell me you hate me, tell me you hate when I kiss you, touch you, hold you in my arms. Tell me I'm a freak and that you want nothing to do with me. Please, Videl, just do it properly. You have to reject me, you have to break my heart completely, once and for all. Please, Videl, take away any lingering hope that I have. Please."

x

He was getting desperate. He pulled back slightly to look at her again, pushing himself up onto his elbows. He saw with a pang in his chest that her lower lip was quivering, that tears were, once again, gathering in her eyes.

He kissed her. Hopelessly. The kiss had a salty taste to it, and Gohan held Videl tightly in his arms, his eyes shut as hard as possible, wishing that those weren't her tears; that he hadn't made her cry, that she wasn't crying because of him again. He kissed her deeply, ardently, desperately; he kissed her with all of his love, all of his heart, all of his passion and all of his distress, and he relished the most amazing feeling that was most likely… their very last kiss.

For as long as it would last.

x

It was the fireworks again. Sparkling all across the sky. Exploding in a swirl of the most beautiful, breathtaking view. It really did feel like fireworks – actually, no, it was so much more powerful than that. It was better than anything she ever felt.

It was leaving Videl completely breathless.

Her brain had gone blank, overflown with the most delectable sensations; her body seemed to move on its own. Her arms wrapped around his neck to pull him closer, while one of his hand cupped her cheek tenderly and the other one moved to her waist, pressing himself down against her, their body meshing together.

She couldn't register anything anymore. Except for his lips. His scent. His hands. His toned chest. His touch. All of him. Gohan was all that mattered. She couldn't get enough of him. She felt like her whole being was melting. Her arms tightened around his neck. She couldn't let go. She didn't want to let him go.

She wanted Gohan… all to herself. She wanted him more than anything.

And yet… And yet he was asking her to… Videl held him closer, shutting her eyes tighter, willing his heart-wrenching plea away. She didn't want to think of it right now. Gohan was kissing her, he was holding her – she didn't want to remember his pleading tone, the crack in his voice as he begged her to reject him properly. To break his heart completely, and to destroy all of his hopes. To help him finally give up on her.

How did he expect her to do all of this when he was… When his lips, his kiss, his arms, his scent, his intoxicating presence… How was she supposed to reject him when all she wished for… When she actually wished for exactly the same thing as him?

They pulled back slightly, didn't move an inch, didn't utter a word. Kept their eyes closed, unwilling to pull apart. Heavy, panting breaths mingling as one. Foreheads touching. Holding each other close.

Gohan was the first to speak, his voice a hoarse, sorrowful whisper.

"I'm sorry," he said, stroking her cheek with his thumb. "I'm so sorry, Videl. I know I'm just making things harder for you. We didn't choose to be in this situation… I just… I… I love you so much. I love you, Videl. I love you."

Her vision blurred once again; salty drops rolled down her temples, getting lost in her thick locks of hair. Gohan brushed her tears away with his thumbs, wiping her face as many times as he had to, again and again. They shared sad smiles – and then he kissed her again.

"You're so unfair," she muttered against his lips.

"I know," he breathed between kisses. "I'm sorry."

She gripped his collar, pulling him closer, and rolled them over on the bed, ending up on top. Gohan held her around the waist, deepening the kiss. A blissful fog took over her mind, clouding her reason. And Videl allowed herself to give in completely.

"I love you too, Gohan."

He pulled back just enough to look at her, and Videl felt like melting as the most genuine, happiest smile curved his lips. Ah… She was really done for now, wasn't she? It was a wonder that she had managed to reject Gohan for so long. Could she actually resist him any longer?

Did she even want to?

"I knew it," he said, chuckling softly. He grinned, gazing at her lovingly. "I knew you felt the same."

She bit down on her lip. "But… Erasa… I can't do this to her… She saw you first."

"Well I loved you first," he countered, smiling.

Man, did it feel good to see his carefree smile again…

He placed his hand behind on the back of her neck, his fingers tangling with her messy locks, pressed his forehead against hers, and let out a sigh. But it wasn't a sigh of content from her reciprocation of his love; Videl felt the weight of his guilt through that breath he blew.

"I don't know…" he said, his voice lowering. "Maybe it'd be better to keep this between us…"

"You… You mean…"

She swallowed. He pulled back slightly to look at her. "It's not lying if we don't talk about it, is it?" he said tentatively. She gave him a sad smile, and he let out a sigh. "I know, I know… It's hardly any better. But, it's only until Erasa gets over me. And then we can tell her about us."

Her throat felt tight. Her whole being was screaming in protest at what Gohan was suggesting. She detested lies and liars. She prided herself for her absolute honesty. She only had to lie to protect Erasa's feelings after Gohan kissed her.

But this… Gohan was asking her to outright hide the truth from her best friend. To go behind her back. To sneak around. To lie.

She should resent him for even suggesting such a thing. Then why was she considering it? Why was she actually dying to say yes?

When did she stoop so low?

She was a hypocrite. A fraud.

Well, the apple didn't fall far from the tree, did it? She was indeed her father's daughter, after all.

She buried her face in the crook of his neck, closing her eyes as his intoxicating scent reached her nostrils. She breathed deeply, basking into it. A smile formed on her lips as Gohan planted a soft kiss on her cheek; she sighed in content.

"I guess we'll keep it between us, then," she whispered.

"Re-Really? You're actually okay with it?" he uttered, sounding taken aback.

He pulled back and she looked down at him, nodding her head, a small, sheepish smile tugging at her lips. And then his face broke out into the widest grin.

"For real? So you're my girlfriend now?"

She laughed and hit his shoulder playfully. "Yes, you dolt!"

He laughed along with her, their happy embrace making the young couple roll on the bed… only to end up in a heap on the floor. But they simply kept laughing, too overjoyed to care.

Videl heard somewhere that sometimes, guilt was a small price to pay for happiness – and she didn't want to let go of the happiness she shared with Gohan, not anymore. She figured that she would just have to learn to live with the guilt.

ooOoo

Chichi narrowed her eyes at her son, who stood in the living room with his head hanging. When she allowed him to go talk to Videl last night, she never said he could spend the night with her. She may be okay with him having a girlfriend, it wasn't like she could stop him from falling in love, but she was so not okay with him doing things he was definitely not ready for.

"What do you have to say for yourself, young man?" she asked him sternly, her arms crossed as she stared him down even though he was much taller than her now.

"We didn't do anything, I swear," he uttered quickly, his cheeks flaring up. "I know what it must look like, but I swear nothing like that happened. Videl was upset about her dad so I comforted her, and we ended up falling asleep on her bed." He motioned to his outfit with his hands. "See? My clothes are all wrinkled because I slept in them."

It was true; his clothes were indeed wrinkled. Chichi eyed her son carefully. The good thing about Gohan was that he was the most terrible liar, which meant she could reassure herself: he was most definitely telling the truth. She heaved a sigh of relief. Okay, good. Her little boy wasn't all grown up just yet.

"You can't blame me for imagining the worst when you spend the night with the girl you're in love with," she said with a smile, putting her hands on her hips.

Gohan grinned and scratched the back of his hair sheepishly, an adorable blush on his face. "Yeah, I get it, haha…"

Her eyes lit up. The way he was all but glowing… Did that mean things went well between him and Videl?

"So, how did it go?" she asked impatiently, walking closer to her son.

Gohan beamed with pure joy. "It wasn't easy, but I did it! Videl's accepted my feelings. We're together now."

"Oh, that's fantastic, Gohan!" Chichi exclaimed, throwing her arms around her not-so-little boy. "I'm so happy for you!"

"Yeah…" Gohan wrapped his arms around her, hugging her back gently. "We decided to keep it to ourselves and wait until Erasa's moved on… It's not the best plan, but it's the only one we could come up with…"

Chichi pulled back and looked up at him, a frown wrinkling her brow. "Why don't you talk to Erasa like I said? I'm sure she wouldn't want her friends to suffer on her behalf…"

Gohan shook his head. "Videl doesn't want her to know. She says, because she's her best friend, it's going to hurt that much worse if Erasa sees me with her."

Chichi lowered her gaze in thoughts. "I guess that makes sense…" She sighed. "Well, I'm not too happy about the way you've decided to handle it, I'll admit, but I guess it really is the only way to spare Erasa's feelings, and I can't blame either of you for wanting that." The mother patted her son's cheek with a kind smile. "I'm really happy for you, Gohan. Videl sounds like a very loyal person, and I'm sure that if you're that smitten with her, she must be an amazing girl."

Gohan grinned from ear to ear. "Yeah, she is. She's the best."

Chichi felt a pang in her chest as she saw the stars in his eyes. Her baby boy was in love… Soon, before she could even blink, he was going to leave the nest and start a family of his own…

But that was what being a parent was about. Chichi just didn't think it would happen so soon.

Well, she still had a little time before Gohan actually left her. Not much, from the look of it, but still a little.

Ah, being a parent was rough. But, looking at her boy's happy eyes, Chichi knew that it was definitely worth it.

March 3, 2021