Still in an alternate Faith, Hope, and Trick.

Early September 1998

Buffy, Giles, Faith, Willow, and Xander were hanging out in the school library between classes the day after they all met Faith at the Bronze, the new Slayer buttering up Buffy's Watcher. "Well, leaving aside for a moment my youth and beauty," Giles laughed—a bit embarrassed at the attention Faith was paying him—grabbing a newspaper and changing the subject to, "I'd say it was fortuitous that Faith arrived when she did."

"Aha!" Willow announced, holding up a finger emphatically. As she got everyone's attention, she explained, "Sorry. I just meant… aha! There's big evil brewing. You'll never be bored here, Faith. Because this is Sunnydale, home of the big brewing evil."

Giles demurred, "Yes, well, I don't know how big an evil it is, but two people have disappeared from the Sunset Ridge district." He handed the newspaper to Buffy, pointing out the article in question, which she began to read with Faith scanning it over her shoulder.

Despite how it felt some weeks, two people disappearing in the same part of town was a little unusual. Most vampires could exist comfortably on a pint or so of blood a night, or about ten nights of food per human, if they didn't waste any of the blood in a victim. Buffy was very upset that this was the kind of math word problem she was getting good at. Two disappearances in a couple of nights in the same area meant a gang of up to ten vamps. Maybe more if they were also hunting in other neighborhoods, or supplementing with stolen blood donations.

Finishing the article, Buffy agreed, "Well, I'm good for patrolling. Late-ish, though. I promised Mom I'd be home for dinner." She nodded to Faith, "To which you're also invited, of course: dinner with us." Buffy wondered where the girl was staying and how she was eating while she was in town. Faith didn't look like she was secretly a trust fund heiress, and her impromptu jaunt cross country while her Watcher was out of town must have already cost a lot.

Faith smiled, "Dyin' to meet the fam. I'm in."

"Great!" Buffy enthused, a little distracted by her musings on Faith's situation. "Great, then we can patrol, also together." If there really was a large gang of vampires moving into that area… "Hopefully it's just a few vampires getting greedy and not so many that we need two Slayers, but better safe than sorry."

One of the things that Coulson's team had done for her over the summer was get her to question the Slayer instinct to hunt alone, focusing on the value of team tactics. She had to admit that she'd be dead several times over without backup when things got dangerous. And sometimes that backup had been Angel, an extremely skilled fighter. Part of her intention to train Cordelia to fight was to maybe have a more reliable team. Having another Slayer who was already trained to fight just made that a lot easier.

Willow interrupted her thought process by asking, "Hey, don't you have that health science makeup?"

"Oh, yeah," Buffy said, looking at the clock. The test probably was going to ask about more than the average pints of blood in the human body, so she admitted, "Actually, I could use a little coaching."

Willow slid off the table, smiling and somehow ignoring Buffy, with Xander right behind. She explained to Faith, "You know, you can hang out with us while she's testing. You wanna?"

"Say yes and bring your stories," Xander insisted.

Buffy just rolled her eyes, sitting down at the table. As much as she wanted to grab Willow and point out that she was feeling ignored, that was a fight she could have later. No need to have Faith watch her have big drama with her friends that would make her seem controlling. She did petulantly wait to see if anyone would acknowledge her on the way out.

Interestingly, it was Faith who at least said, "Hey, later." She also turned to Giles and insisted, "We will talk weapons," before following Buffy's friends out of the library. Xander and Willow didn't even look back.

After they'd left, Giles sat on the edge of the table and summed up, "This... this new girl seems to have a lot of zest."

"Very lemony. Pledge-scented even," Buffy acknowledged, before explaining, "You need to call the Watchers. I'm thrilled to have the help, but she's got to be fifteen, right? Did her Watcher leave her flying-cross-country money? What about her parents? Something's up."

"Well, I suppose…" Giles hedged. "Not all Slayers are called at fifteen. She certainly looks more mature…"

"With what SHIELD showed me, I could pass for forty with just what I have in my makeup kit and maybe a Party Town to get some liquid latex," Buffy disagreed. "You're looking at the heavy makeup and the 'tude. You're not looking at the girl."

"Very well. You make a good point. I'll see if I can get in touch with them at the retreat, though it would already be quite late there and they might not answer…"

"Also," Buffy realized, "they don't invite you? What do the Watchers even do if they're off in the mountains having crumpets and not inviting the Slayer's Watcher? I know you have the whole dark past thing, but am I your punishment? Either you're the most important Watcher and it's crazy they're not giving us more support, or something is seriously wrong with their priorities. Right?"

"Honestly… I rather think you've already broken several records for survival. The organization as a whole is geared toward rapid turnover of the Slayer and usually the Slayer's Watcher, as well. I didn't want to burden you… but, yes, I get the impression that they expected to throw you and then one or more replacement Slayers at the Master, and didn't expect either of us to be as successful as we have been."

"Got it. You were supposed to go out like Merrick. I was supposed to weaken the Master and die in the process, with Kendra all set to finish him off, and Faith ready to go when Spike and Drusilla got her. I'm just breaking all the records and the tweed-suits in England don't know what to do."

"Well… yes," Giles admitted.

"That's really dumb. No wonder so few Slayers last more than a couple of years," she patted him on the shoulder, taking her backpack and heading out of the library. "I guess I'll go see how much I remember about health science."

Excited to have found out that so much of what SHIELD had taught her about field medicine was useful on her test, Buffy happily bounded down the stairs into the main Sunnydale High corridor, spotting Willow, Xander, and Cordelia. She announced to her friends, "Well, I'm two for two with makeup tests. Proud, yes, but also humble in this time of…" Realizing they were, yet again, not paying her much attention, she asked, "We're looking at what?"

Down the hall, Faith was busily flirting with Scott Hope. Cordelia wondered aloud, "Does anyone believe that's her actual hair color?" Buffy noticed that Cordelia seemed annoyed at Xander, and figured that she'd already missed another moment of Xander having an obnoxious crush on the new Slayer. She was seriously starting to believe that Xander needed therapy way more than she did, given how out of whack his priorities were. Cordelia just rolled her eyes and walked off.

Willow's opinion was, "I haven't seen him laugh like that. Hey, maybe Faith and Scott could hit it off." She suddenly seemed to realize Buffy was there and suggested, "I mean, if you're done with him… Not that you used him."

"Willow," Buffy tried to get through to her friend. "Seriously. She's here until her Watcher gets back from England. And then will probably be dragged by her ear back to Boston because she stole the lady's credit card to get here in the first place. But, yes, I'm 'done' with Scott. I barely talked to him."

The redhead didn't seem sure about any of that, and just said, "If you say so, B… Uffy."

Realizing that Cordelia had it right, Buffy shook her head and went off to find said cheerleader, leaving Xander and Willow to stare at Faith. Buffy managed to catch Cordelia at the drink machine and said, "I think Xander needs an intervention."

"I know, right? Is he trying to make me jealous? As if."

"I don't know if he knows what he's doing, but it's annoying," Buffy agreed. "Anyway, we should schedule a martial arts seminar while Faith's still in town? It's probably safer for me to spar with her, and demonstrate some of the basic moves you should learn."

Cordelia thought for a minute, then agreed, "As long as Xander's not invited. I don't want to watch him drool over the two of you in yoga pants."

Not surprising Buffy, Faith was tearing into her mom's cooking like she'd never had a home-cooked meal. Joyce served the new Slayer broccoli while asking, "So you're a Slayer, too. Isn't that interesting! Do you like it?"

Faith, pausing stuffing her face exclaimed, "God, I love it!"

"You know, Buffy never talks that way. Why do you love it?" her mom asked.

Well, when I'm fighting," Faith illustrated her philosophy with a french fry in one hand, "it's like the whole world goes away and I only know one thing: that I'm gonna win and they're gonna lose. I like that feeling."

Buffy had to reach across the table to snag the bowl of fries, and worried that Faith was being a bit overconfident, opining, "Well, sure. Beats that dead feeling you get when they win and you lose."

"I don't let that kind of negative thinking in," the dark-haired Slayer brushed her off.

Joyce brightened, agreeing with Faith. "Right… Right! That could get you hurt." She shook her head while looking back at her daughter. "Buffy can be awfully negative sometimes. See, honey, you've got to fight that."

Buffy was sure there was an applicable Art of War quote. Well, she thought that's where one of her instructors at SHIELD was getting all his pithy sayings about how to win fights. Instead she just valiantly avoided rolling her eyes and said, "I'm working on it."

Joyce noticed that Faith's glass was empty and asked, "Faith, can I get you another soft drink?" Agreeing, Faith handed over her glass and Buffy's mother headed into the kitchen.

"She's really cool, huh?" Faith suggested.

"She's working on it," Buffy allowed. "She kind of freaked when she found out about the Slaying, but now she's trying to be supportive." She risked a chance to learn some actual truths about Faith. "Your parents? Did you find out about the Slayer when you were called like I did, or did you get identified as a Potential early like Kendra?"

Buffy thought she saw a moment of true emotion, quickly covered up by Faith's usual bravado. "They haven't been in the picture for a while. No big."

"Makes it too easy for the Watchers to control your life, though, right?" Buffy asked, but Faith just shrugged, so she tried a different question, "Where are you staying while you're in town, anyway?"

For a second Faith didn't seem like she was going to answer, but finally admitted, "Little motel in prime hunting grounds. Figured it would make a good base."

Or a really cheap one, Buffy assumed. "Vampires can get in, though, if they track you. Why don't I ask Mom if you can stay with us while you're here? She likes you."

Rather than giving Faith a chance to figure out an excuse, Buffy was already moving to the kitchen where Joyce was finishing refilling Faith's glass of cola. "I like this girl, Buffy."

"I thought so," Buffy nodded. "Do you think she can stay in the guest room while she's here? I don't like her being at a fleabag motel. She'll probably get dragged back to Boston in a couple of days."

Her mother nodded, "That's really hospitable. I'm proud of you. As an only child, I wouldn't think you'd be able to deal with another teenager living here."

"She's a lot," Buffy admitted. "But most of it is honestly Willow and Xander being weird. It might help to have more time to just get to know her without them around. And it's only for a few days."

Joyce smiled, "While she's here, two of you fighting is safer than one, right?"

"For sure."

"And… well… you heard her. She loves the slaying," Joyce leaned over the island in the kitchen and lowered her voice, making her own proposal. "Couldn't she take over for you?"

"Eventually. Yeah. That's the plan," Buffy explained, then backpedaled as her mom beamed, "Not any time soon. And I need to make sure she's not going to die like all the other girls. Like Kendra. Slayers don't have a long life expectancy." She observed the girl in the next room who was busily finishing off the french fries, and even taking some from Buffy's plate. If she was uncharitable, she'd think of Faith as grabby, but she was able to admit to herself that a more accurate impression might be half-starved. "And I'm starting to wonder if that's actually necessary…"

Later that night, Buffy and Faith were patrolling Sunset Ridge, passing by some construction. Buffy idly wondered why the town spent so much time building new structures, since there were so many abandoned buildings around that might not get immediately infested with vampires if businesses just restored and inhabited them.

Her musing was broken by Faith asking, "Didn't we do this street already?"

"Funny thing about vamps," Buffy chided, sarcastically, "they'll hit a street even after you've been there. It's like they have no manners."

Faith gave a shrug and noncommittal grunt, "You've been doing this the longest." Buffy just gave her a slight frown, wondering where she was going with it. Faith waited a beat, then finished, "Maybe a little too long."

"Oh, man," Buffy groaned. "Don't tell me you're drinking the Watcher Kool-Aid."

"What do you mean?" Faith asked. That wasn't where she thought she was driving the conversation.

"Live fast, die before you're old enough to vote. It's the Slayer way, apparently," Buffy explained. "I just kind of wondered if your Watcher was filling your head with stories about how I should have stayed dead."

"Isn't it the Slayer way? Kick a lot of ass, go out in a blaze of glory, and leave a pretty corpse?" Realizing she was on the defensive, Faith went back on the attack, digging, "I guess you'd rather sleep with a pretty corpse?"

"Xander," Buffy sighed. She'd tried to leave Angel out of storytime as much as possible the previous night. "Guess he told you about Angel? You should know that he's not exactly fair-and-balanced-guy. He never got along with Angel. He'd probably be just as mean to anyone you date."

"Because of the puppy dog crush?" Faith shrugged. "If Cordelia would just let him cop a feel or something, maybe he'd chill out. But I'm talkin' about you. You're wound too tight. I don't give a damn about Watchers. Just… if you don't find any joy in the Slayin', you might as well be dead."

"It's not all wrestling alligators and pissing off Baptists," Buffy explained. "You've been doing this for three months?"

"Almost four."

"Okay, I'll give you the four. Being a Slayer's like dog years, every month counts. Maybe that's why we have such a short life expectancy," the blond slayer mused. "Sooner or later you'll get in a fight that will stop being fun, and then it starts to become hard, scary work." Her partner didn't disagree, and Buffy saw something in her eyes. "But you already know that, don't you?"

Rather than answer, Faith's eyes widened and she yelled, "Behind you!"

Buffy managed to dodge the stealthily-charging vampire, kicking him in the back and sending him sprawling to the ground in front of Faith, who kicked him in the side. Two more of the human-shaped monsters rushed in from either side as the dark-haired Slayer was going for a trash can as an improvised weapon to more fully brutalize the one on the ground.

A quick change-up of traded blows and Buffy was on the defensive. These weren't fledglings. "I hate it when they already know how to fight," she complained, trying to fend off both of them and get some space by interposing construction equipment. "Faith! Finish yours and help!"

"Fine!" Faith insisted, staking the still-prone vampire through the back and diving over the cloud of ash to peel off one of the two trying to corner Buffy. She got a spinning backhand to the face out of it, but simply shook it off and declared, "My dead mother hits harder than that!" before getting hold of his shirt and sending him through a partially-finished wall.

Buffy didn't have time to think about what Faith had just revealed about her background, because she still had her own vampire to fight. One was a lot easier to handle than two, but her remaining opponent had grabbed a length of rebar and was swinging it like a club. Between his height and the increased reach, Buffy was having a hard time getting close and was slowly being driven backwards. Suddenly, she felt cinderblocks behind her, having run out of room to retreat. "For Kakistos we live! For Kakistos you'll die!" the guy declared.

"I think you've got that backwards," Buffy smirked, crouching down as the vampire took an overhand swing at her. The rebar clanged off of the wall and now she was under his guard. Rather than more brawling and risking giving him a chance to get her at range again, she just uppercut with her stake, right under his ribs. The vampire exploded into dust that she stepped through to go help Faith.

"This is me, you undead bastard!" Faith was screaming, each word punctuated by a punch into the flailing body of her vampire, which she had on the ground and straddled. He was starting to look like a side of beef, in danger of being dusted from sheer bodily trauma. There was no sign that Faith was even aware of any other dangers around her, singly focused on extinguishing a berserk rage on the monster right in front of her. "You can't touch me!"

Buffy realized that Faith hadn't just already had the fight where Slaying stopped being fun. She was traumatized.

"The girl's not playing with a full deck, Giles. She has almost no deck. She has a three." Buffy was reluctantly explaining to her Watcher the next day as they walked from the school cafeteria to the library. After brutalizing the vampire to death, Faith had just gone right back into her usual affect, as if nothing strange had happened.

Her Watcher hedged, "You said, yourself, that she killed two. She's just a plucky fighter who got a little carried away. Which is natural. She's focused on the slaying. She doesn't have a whole other life here, as you do."

"No! Something is very wrong. She needs to see a shrink."

"While I commend you on your own commitment to mental health, Buffy, I'm loath to send another Slayer to the government for therapy, and we can't exactly place her before a local psychiatrist who knows nothing about her nightly activities."

"Why isn't there a Watchers Council therapist?" Buffy demanded, pushing into the library. "SHIELD makes all their agents go to regular counseling and they're mostly just getting shot at, not seeing horrors that mortals cannot comprehend."

"Well, I admit that there's a bit of a 'stiff upper lip' mindset among the Watchers where getting psychoanalyzed is discouraged in favor of mental fortitude. And gin. As well, the girls…"

Buffy picked up on what he didn't want to say. "When the PTSD finally gets too much, they slip and they die, right? Do you hear yourself? How much of the Slayer life expectancy is down to getting zero support, mentally or physically?"

Giles could hear what Quentin Travers, one of the Watcher directors, would say: that this was precisely why he should have kept Buffy away from SHIELD. The government would do everything in their power to brainwash her and get her to question Watcher authority. The Council, with the help of the Slayer, had protected the world for thousands of years, using the same means.

But, the part of him that was growing to see Buffy as something akin to a daughter rather than the Council's weapon had to admit that she wasn't wrong. "I'll try to get in touch with her Watcher at the retreat, again," he allowed. He had, indeed, not gotten through late the previous night, their time.

"What's her name?" Buffy asked.

"Diana Dormer, why?"

Buffy walked into Giles' office, picked up his telephone, and dialed a phone number and extension that she'd worked hard to memorize. "Anne Summers. Romeo Bravo Thirty-Seven. I need a quick status search on a person. Diana Dormer. Probably British, living in Boston. May or may not be out of the country back in England right now. Okay," she waited a few seconds for the search, then nodded sadly when she heard the results. "That's what I was afraid of, thanks."

She sank into Giles' desk chair, shaking her head trying to make sense of it. Giles had been about to object to the implied debt that Buffy would incur by using SHIELD resources, but realized what she must have discovered, "She's dead?"

"Violently killed and drained of blood," the Slayer nodded. "A couple days before Faith got here."

"Oh no," Giles said, slumping tiredly against his office wall. "The vampires… they must have arrived here not long after Faith did. Did they have any kind of markings or iconography that would help me trace their lineage and see if it's related? Amulets, cultish tattoos…"

Buffy thought, deciding, "No tats. Crappy dressers. And... Oh, the one that nearly brained me mentioned something about kissing toast. He lived for kissing toast."

Giles looked like he understood, "You mean 'Kakistos?'"

"Maybe it was taquitos. Maybe he lived for taquitos." She realized Giles had said something. "What?"

"Kakistos," Giles repeated, heading into the library.

"Is that bad?"

Giles was quiet for a minute as he grabbed a book and set it on the counter, flipping quickly to the right page. It was always something bad when Giles knew exactly which book to go to right away. He explained, "'Kakistos' is Greek. It means 'the worst of the worst.' It's also the name of a vampire so old that his hands and feet are cloven."

"So a Watcher is torn apart, her Slayer runs here, and the worst of the worst shows up the next day," Buffy summarized. "Giles, there are two things that I don't believe in: coincidence and leprechauns."

"It is the Hellmouth, Buffy," Giles warned, though he clearly agreed with her and was playing Devil's advocate. "It's entirely possible that they both arrived here by chance simultaneously."

"Okay, but I was right about the leprechauns, right?" Buffy insisted.

Giles took a moment to think and admitted, "As far as I know, yes."

"Good. Okay, you get England on the phone and let them know about Ms. Dormer then get researching on anything else about this guy. I'm going to talk to Faith, see if 'khaki trousers' rings–"

"Kakistos."

"–Kakistos rings a bell. Or an alarm," Buffy finished, heading home and hoping Faith was there.

Rushing home during her study hall period, Buffy was thrilled to find out that Faith had moved her stuff into the Summers guest room after patrol. Knocking on the frame of the door, Buffy regarded Faith sadly, realizing that she might not just be here for a couple of days. And despite being there for only a few hours, she'd already strewn her meager belongings all over.

"Why the long face, B?" Faith asked.

Deciding to just jump straight to it, Buffy explained, "Cloven Guy. Goes by the name Kakistos."

Suddenly on the defensive, Faith hedged, "What do you know about Kakistos?"

"That he's here." That was the look of fear that Buffy expected. "We're not happy to see old friends, are we? What'd he do to you?"

Grabbing her bag and starting to throw clothes into it, Faith blustered, "It's what I did to him, alright?"

"And what was that?" Buffy leaned against the doorframe. "Faith, you came here for a reason. I can help."

"You can mind your own business." Faith broke from her frenzied packing to point her thumb at herself, declaring, "I'm the one that can handle this."

"Yeah. You're a real bad-ass when it comes to packing." Buffy realized it felt good to get the zinger, but it wasn't helping. "Faith! Stop packing. You're safe here. That's why I asked you to stay. They can't come into a real house. You came here for help, right? Let me help."

"I didn't come here to drag you into it. I didn't think he'd find me. I'll take care of this, all right?"

Hoping to get through to her, Buffy asked "Like you took care of your Watcher?" That landed, Faith letting go of her bag and looking down sadly. "The police report said she was torn apart."

"I should have saved her!" Faith declared. "I told him to leave her out of it! To come after me." She chuckled with black humor, "After I gouged out his eye, I guess he decided to, after all."

"I lost my first Watcher, too," Buffy said, softly. "Merrick. Lothos was one of the vampires that could hypnotize you. I had to stand there and watch. I didn't even get the chance to take out his eye."

"But you eventually got revenge?"

Buffy shook her head, "There isn't revenge. It's like getting 'revenge' on a rabid dog. It's not even worth making it personal. There's just putting them down before they can hurt anyone else." Seeing that she was starting to get through, she allowed, "But, yeah. I got him. And all his fledglings. I had to burn down the school gym. You get expelled a lot in this job."

"How do you keep doing it? I heard about what Angelus did. About what the Master did. How do you keep going?"

"Why don't I take them all out in a blaze of glory or find somewhere to hide, you mean?" Faith nodded, so Buffy explained, "It's hard. Obviously, sometimes I can't deal. I was a runaway pretty much the whole time you've been a Slayer. Maybe I'd still be a runaway if I hadn't run to people that got me a therapist." She quickly imagined her summer, if she'd gone with her original plan and wound up in that neighborhood in LA, and admitted, "Or I'd be stuck in a hell dimension work camp where you age a hundred years in a day."

"What do I do?" Faith insisted. "I love Slaying. I love how much power it gives me. I never had that before…"

"And then Kakistos took it all away again," Buffy said, getting it. She walked up and risked wrapping the younger slayer in a hug. Faith made a token effort to resist, but clearly needed the human contact. "Let's go get your power back."

Finding the nest was shockingly easy: one of the missing persons was a pizza delivery guy that the vampires had abducted directly from his route with his car outside. With a couple hours between the end of the school day and sunset, they decided to hit it immediately rather than risk them moving or tracking anyone down that evening.

Giles' research on Kakistos had turned up references to his immense strength and hidelike flesh, resistant to most weapons and too thick for a typical stake, so they'd pulled out the really sharp swords and cut some extra-long stakes. Cordelia's car was necessary to bring the heavy equipment during daylight hours, and the rest of the Scoobies would be on hand to fire crossbows from the doorways and catch any vamps risking the sun to flee. "We're ready," Buffy insisted to Faith, walking up to the "abandoned" warehouse in Sunset Ridge.

"Yeah," the dark-haired Slayer said, trying to psych herself up. "Yeah?"

"We're doing it by the numbers. I'm sure that's what the secret agents say," Buffy insisted. "We have them contained. We have fallback plans. If there are too many, you can run. But make sure I can get away too, okay? He's not surprising just you and your Watcher this time. We all have your back." She watched Faith nod along and finally asked, "Ready?"

"Five by five," Faith nodded, seemingly convinced.

Taking that as confirmation, possibly the "by the numbers" she'd mentioned, Buffy knocked at the sunlit back door of the warehouse near the missing pizza boy's car and tried her strategy. She yelled, "Hey! Replacement pizza? We're sorry you never got yours the other day. Our delivery guy must have just quit in the middle of the job."

"Bonus!" she heard a voice say inside, and the sound of the door opening.

Another voice called out, "You idiot! That's not how–"

But the door was already opening, and Buffy went ahead and kicked it in, sending the dumb-looking vamp flying as he was looking toward his boss. The thin black man in a nice suit must have been the smarter one, and he quickly raced away from the door as the shaft of afternoon sunlight reached fully through the doorway and set the door opener alight.

Buffy noticed a pizza delivery bag discarded right by the door, so she quipped, "Oh! Our mistake. Looks like you got it after all. Guess it's time for you to pay." With that, she advanced into the room, checking that Faith was behind her.

There were seven vampires in the nest, proving her math had been correct that there had been ten originally before they'd dusted three the previous night. The one in the sunlight burst into ash and the guy in the suit was retreating, so that left five to actually fight. All of them were sluggish during the daytime. And none more than the man-shaped beast with cloven hooves angrily and ponderously standing from where he'd been dozing on a couch.

"Who knew?" Buffy asked, staring at the guy. "Vampires eventually turn into pigs. Almost puts you off bacon, huh?"

"Kill the Slayer!" Kakistos yelled at his remaining minions. Three of them rushed forward, but Buffy thought she saw the man in the suit grab one of the lady vamps and drag her off into the back of the building. Unfortunately, she didn't have time to head them off. They'd probably already found one of the sewer entrances that all these hideouts seemed to have, so wouldn't get put down by the crossbow team outside.

Broadsword hidden behind her back, Buffy managed to decapitate the first vampire charging her before he realized the threat, and she dashed around the cloud of ash at the leader, "I'll hold Mr. Piggy while you clean up!" she tossed back to Faith.

While the darker slayer took out her frustrations on the minions, Buffy followed her own instructions and moved up to Kakistos. He angrily swiped at her with a hand that was more hoof than claw. "Crush you!" he insisted.

"This little piggy went to market," Buffy recited as she dodged. "This little piggy stayed home," as she used the sword to parry a swing. "This little piggy had roast beef," a one-two punch and kick to his side. "Wait. Do pigs eat beef? That's gross!"

"I'll eat you!" the enormous vampire raged, managing to catch the sword with a hard blow that sent it flying.

"This little piggy had none," she counter-proposed, managing to roll over a table to dodge his follow-up. "And this… little… piggy…" she timed, glancing over his shoulder and shoving over furniture into his path. "Say 'we-we-we-we' for me?" she suddenly asked, stopping and giving him a perky smile.

"What?" he asked, not used to an opponent suddenly holding still for no reason.

"All the way home!" Faith finished the rhyme as she finished her charge, slamming the yard-long stake through his back and out his chest.

"I should have done a three-little pigs gag," Buffy realized aloud, as the ancient vampire crumbled to ash, revealing a grinning Faith. "Also, now that I mentioned it, all I can think about is bacon. You hungry?"

Faith nodded, quickly covering up her glow of ecstatic triumph with her usual aloof mien. "Starved."