If Junkrat's thoughts had been muddled before, they were an outright tangle in the days that followed. He couldn't stop thinking about it, the way Symmetra's hot mouth had enveloped his cock, how amazing it had felt as she sucked him off... and how he'd utterly failed to make a proper response when she was done. The opportunity slipped through his fingers all too quickly. Then she was gone, and he was left to struggle to make sense of this unanticipated development.
He should have told her something, right? How she lingered in his thoughts, how she made his heart ache, how desperately he wanted to close the distance between them and get to know her on a level he'd never had before...
But he'd just be making a fool of himself, wouldn't he? He didn't know how she felt.
Junkrat was more than well acquainted with casual sex, he knew that it didn't necessarily have to mean anything, and the more he considered it the more obvious it seemed that this was all it could have been. She'd wanted to repay a favor, so she had. There was no way he could be tormenting her in the way she did him. The idea was laughable.
Not that he didn't appreciate the attention she had lavished upon him but it was confusing. At least when she'd only existed in his wild fantasies he'd accepted the impossibility of anything more, as much as it frustrated him. Now dangerous notions were beginning to brew.
What if, a part of him kept whispering. What if he was wrong? What if she did like him? What if she wanted him too? What if, what if...
Junkrat's arm healed quickly and he attempted to throw himself back into his normal routine as if nothing had changed. Every moment he spent in Symmetra's presence felt strained though.
He made no mention of her visit, and nor did she, but it was all his mind wanted to run over. His daydreams were as sinful as ever but he could not enjoy them. His mood was distinctly low, a deep melancholy building in his chest that he had no clue how the fuck to get rid of. It was because of her, wasn't it?
It was because they were sitting in the workshop and complaining about physics like nothing was different and he didn't know if he'd ever feel her touch again. This wasn't supposed to happen. A bit of fun wasn't a big deal, wasn't supposed to hurt like this...
Maybe... maybe he could suggest something? Even if Symmetra didn't feel the same way about him if she was up for some casual fooling around he'd be game, he'd take what he could get... that was enough, right? To indulge in her body as she made use of him... but somehow that didn't suffice.
He didn't want this to be like his past flings, inconsequential and meaningless... Symmetra was different. She was beautiful, and talented, and confident, and so ordered, like she knew the world would bend to her will if she only worked hard enough, and yet there was a softness to her too... That superior smile of hers made his insides twist pleasantly, and there was no point denying that what had started as an acknowledgement of her finer qualities and an unsavory habit of jerking off to the image of her had resulted in an infatuation he was ill prepared for.
Junkrat could proposition her, yes, but allowing himself closer to her physically without being able to see his own feelings mirrored in return would be a new kind of agony. Was it worth it? Crikey it was tempting, but even if she accepted he knew it wasn't what he really wanted...
He wanted to kiss her. He wanted her to want him. Anything less would be empty.
So how the fuck was that supposed to work? Even putting aside the unlikelihood of her returning his affections he hadn't the foggiest how you went about declaring something like that.
Whatever the case, he was slowly coming to the conclusion that things could not continue as they were. He couldn't stand it. Those stupid 'what-if's kept slipping into his thoughts at every opportunity, unbidden, refusing his attempts to stomp them down. He needed to try something. If he made a complete fool of himself then, well, that'd hardly be new, his ego could take a bruising. At the very least if she made it clear how impossible his dreams were then he could put this behind him, stop tearing himself apart with all these questions.
He thought he could live with how things were before. She'd never stop distracting him but he'd endured it this long without falling to pieces. He'd still have some very lovely memories of her 'favor', and his left hand was fixed and more than capable of granting him some satisfaction. He just hated uncertainty of the whole mess, how it left him feeling so unsteady...
Once he had settled on the decision to act, all that remained was to devise a plan. Junkrat grudging admitted that this was something he'd likely need help with. Normal social customs were unfamiliar enough to him after growing up in the harsh landscape of the Australian outback, but romance was even worse. Junkers rarely formed any true attachment to each other, so he didn't even have any point of reference based upon the folk he'd known...
Asking Roadhog would probably earn him a slap round the head for his trouble, the other man never liked to discuss his past... The cowboy would be insufferable so he was completely out of the question. Reinhardt would be louder than he was helpful, and if he still hadn't made any progress with the old sniper he clearly wasn't doing well. Mei would probably shoot him with her gun. Tracer... she might know something, given how frequently she loved to chat about her lady friend, but she was away on a mission... Who then?
He rattled through his brain, methodically ticking off names (sometimes twice when he forgot), and eventually reached an answer.
It was thusly that several hours later, in the middle of a video game, that Junkrat finally bucked up the courage to ask.
"Hypothetically," Junkrat hazarded, "if I was to say, eh, like someone... what should I do to check if they feel the same?"
Hana dropped her controller and clasped her hands together in delight. "Oh my gosh, Junky has a crush!"
He was immediately beginning to regret his decision. "I said hypothetically," Junkrat snapped back.
"So, you're not going to give us the details on this mystery individual then, man?" Lucio asked, inching closer, the game completely abandoned. They were both grinning and far too attentive for his liking.
"Hypothetically. Hypothetically," Junkrat insisted. "Fuck, do ya even know what that means?"
"Sure, dude," Lucio said, with a knowing look.
Junkrat covered his face with his hand and gave a dramatic groan. "Kill me now."
"Awww, come on. If you're looking for advice you came to the right place," Hana said brightly. "We're, like, the go-to guys for that kind of thing! With our help, even you stand a chance."
"Ta," he muttered dryly, scowling at the floor.
"Relax, we're on your side, yeah?" Lucio said with a smile. He reached out and gave Junkrat a friendly pat on the shoulder as if to offer his reassurance.
"Alright," Hana said, straightening up and raising one finger. "First thing's first. Gifts are a nice way to drop a hint. Flowers and chocolates are sweet, but they're boring. You don't want to be boring."
"Exactly," Lucio said, nodding along in agreement.
"What you need is something special. Something that you know they like, and only them, so they know that you get their interests. Get what I mean?"
"Right..." Junkrat said slowly, attempting to digest this. "Gifts. No flowers. Then what?"
"Then you ask them out!" she declared.
Junkrat stared blankly.
"On a date," Lucio clarified. "Like... so you can spend time together?"
"Yeah, but that has to be special too, somewhere that you know they'd want to go, or something they'd want to do," Hana continued happily. She was clearly enjoying the chance to play instructor. "That's important."
"And when do ya find out if they like ya too?"
"Well," Lucio reasoned, "if they agree to go on a date they probably like you at least a little. Just tell them how you feel, man..."
Hana flapped a hand to wave this thought aside. "Yeah yeah, you should do all that, but more importantly you need to smarten up! A proper wash, a new haircut, a nice set of clothes... oooh, can we go shopping for you? I can find you the perfect outfit, your mystery crush won't stand a chance!"
That was where Junkrat cut an end to the conversation. He had no interest in playing dress-up with the girl, as well meaning as she might be, and Lucio at least seemed to understand even if Hana pouted. He wished the Australian luck and dragged his friend back to the video game as Junkrat excused himself.
There was planning he needed to get underway...
Gifts were the first step, but what did Symmetra like? What would she find special? She liked order, clean things, technology, architecture... how could he give her any of that?
And a date? Where was somewhere that she'd want to go? What did Symmetra like doing?
He returned to his room, muttering to himself as he attempted to solve the problem as best he could. He stayed up all night, buzzing with energy as he rummaged through his possessions in search of an answer. Breakfast went forgotten, and it was only when a suspicious Roadhog showed up to find out why no one had seen him causing trouble round the base that he recalled the need to eat.
If felt good to have his energy focussed on something though. Regardless of the outcome he was no longer merely enduring the state of things, he was doing something, and he'd always preferred that to inaction.
Two days later and he was reasonably pleased with himself. He spared a few minutes for a shower, scrubbing the lingering soot from his hair along with whatever else he'd managed to pick up in his travels, and dressed in his least ragged pair of shorts. After brief consideration he even pulled a shirt on. It had a couple of grease stains but by his standards that was nothing, and he figured it'd do. He waited until Symmetra's schedule dictated that she'd be in her quarters, and then with impatience snatched up his gift before limping hurriedly to her door.
Outside he was hit with a sudden spiraling sense of doubt. This was foolish, what was he thinking...
He paced, finally managing to get himself to stop although his peg leg jittered against the floor with an audible creak of the shock absorbers. He was wasting his time...
But he'd come this far and Jamison Fawkes did not call himself a coward. Fuck it, might as well see things through to the end...
He rapped sharply on her door with his prosthetic hand, standing to attention and trying not to fidget as he waited. Seconds passed by in silence. Then, before he could completely lose his nerve, the door slid open and Symmetra peered out at him, one hand on her hip. Her confusion was evident, but he just grinned back with sharp teeth and desperation, trying to remember what he'd planned to say. He knew what to do, he'd been over this in his mind a dozen times... why did he have to be a scatterbrain now of all occasions?
He coughed, abandoning words in leu of shoving his gift forward at her.
She raised her eyebrows, taking in the crinkled sheets of paper. "What are those?"
"Ehhh... blueprints?" Junkrat suggested hopefully. He held them out but she still seemed uncertain, studying him with a curious expression. "I mean, I ain't any good at the turret stuff ya do, but I figured I could design a few traps and whatnot, stuff ya could make if ya needed a little extra defense on missions or whatever... ya don't have to use 'em... just thought it might be somethin' ya like..."
After an agonising moment of hesitation, she carefully took the papers from him and Junkrat exhaled in relief as she examined his work.
"How... thoughtful of you," she remarked, tone mystified.
Junkrat nodded. "Yeah... I was also wonderin' if ya might like to go to the workshop? With me?"
Now her expression turned incredulous. "Are you quite alright?"
"Fine, fine, so how 'bout it? I know ya like stuff there."
She moved forward, her gaze raking over him as if searching for an explanation. "You have been absent for a while, and this is certainly out of the ordinary for you... you're not unwell are you?"
"No!" Junkrat shook his head violently, frustrated that none of this seemed to be getting through. He scowled, pursing his lips tightly for a moment before he spilled the words out in a stream. "Look, I told Hana and Lu and they said I needed gifts, and then I had to ask ya to go somewhere ya liked, so I figured that made sense cos ya always spend time in the workshop so that must mean ya like it... and... and ya like designs for things so blueprints made sense... I just wanted to do this proper like, cos it didn't seem right to just say it... but I really like ya... ya drive me nuts..."
Symmetra stared at him. Then she laughed, raising a hand to hide her smile. "Are you attempting to ask me on a date?"
Junkrat cursed himself internally, misery pooling in his gut. Of course this was how it went. Of course she didn't feel the same. "Look, it's fine if ya ain't interested," he gabbled, "I didn't really think ya would be, just pushin' me luck-"
"You think I wouldn't be?" she asked, and laughed again, a beautiful husky sound. "Jamison, how much more obvious do I need to be? Do you honestly think that I would repay someone who I had no interest in like that?"
"Uh..." he blinked back, thrown by her words. Did she... was she saying... "But ya never said anythn'!" he blurted. "After, ya never said..."
"Nor did you," she replied. "To be honest, I was... unsure of your feelings. While you clearly enjoyed yourself I did not know if it was me that you liked or the... entertainment I could offer. I did not wish to presume."
"Well fuck me..." he breathed, and then he laughed too, quickly devolving to gleeful cackles with a manic tinge as he clutched his side. It was the most hilarious thing he had every heard. Of every joke in his life, he'd never seen this one coming. "Ya actually... I don't believe it..."
"I like you," she confirmed, in case there was any doubt to it, and she stepped back to set the papers he'd given her on a shelf before returning to him and placing a calming hand on his shoulder.
Junkrat finally managed to get himself back under control, though he was wheezing and giddy and grinning like a fool. Not that he cared. Symmetra was there, and she liked him too, and even the simple touch on his shoulder felt like a blessing. He did absolutely not deserve this but there was no way he was complaining.
"So... take it that means yes to the date?" he asked hoarsely.
"To the workshop? I think we could do a great deal better than that," she said. "You don't have much dating experience do you?"
"Well... not if ya wanna be technical."
"Then maybe I should arrange something. There are plenty of more interesting places to go, if that is what you desire," she said, and her hand trailed down his arm, eventually finding his hand and taking it in hers. Surprised, but pleased, Junkrat returned her grasp, moving closer so that they were only a few scant inches apart.
"Sounds ace..."
"Maybe for now we could skip the formalities though... if you would like that?"
His brows drew down in puzzlement. "Formalities?"
"Would you like to come inside? Perhaps stay the night?"
That he understood loud and clear, eyes widening and another delighted giggle escaping before he could help it. "Darl, ya got no idea how much I'd like that."
He allowed her to lead him inside, closing the door behind them.
A thought occurred to him and he halted awkwardly a few steps in. "We're not gonna need..? I mean, I didn't think to bring-"
"I take the pill," Symmetra informed him as if it were nothing, turning with a look of faint disapproval as she noted he hadn't followed her. She tugged his hand gently. "Come here."
Equal parts excited and nervous he did as he was told, and she let go of him to set both hands on his shoulders, eyes intense.
"You like it when I tell you what to do."
It wasn't a question, rather a statement, and Junkrat could only chuckle.
"It that obvious?" he asked, grinning back at her.
"Well, you are hardly one for subtlety." She traced the line of his jaw with her fingers, and her lips curled up in a smile of her own. "Kiss me."
Junkrat was more than happy to oblige. He stooped slightly, craning down to meet her, and as tentative as he first was Symmetra answered with more than enough passion to quell any of his lingering doubts. There was no questioning her enthusiasm, and he didn't hold back either.
He was vaguely aware that there was probably some art to kissing. He'd never really considered it important before now. Past escapades were usually a casual affair, and neither him nor his partners had cared much for romance when all they wanted was a quick fuck, kissing was just a formality... Symmetra was different though. This time he wanted it to mean something. For all his fire, he tried to press back with tenderness, to move his mouth against hers in a way that might exhibit something other than mindless hunger.
She was warm, and close, and he could taste her, could feel her tongue twining with his own as his hand slid down her back unthinkingly. Her own arm slipped around his neck, holding on tightly as she continued to indulge him.
Eventually they were forced to part, both breathless and flushed from the engagement.
"Your technique could do with improvement," she remarked teasingly.
"That mean ya wanna help me practice?" he suggested, wiggling his eyebrows.
She laughed, and pressed her face into his chest to hide her grin. Made his heart ache to see her like that, cradled against him and so clearly at ease.
"That a yes?"
Symmetra looked up at him, her dark eyes glittering with amusement. "Hmmm, I suppose someone will have to."
They kissed again, deeper this time, allowing their hands to wander as they did. Junkrat was still a little cautious to begin with, not sure if he'd be overstepping his bounds by grabbing right for the juicy bits of her, but Symmetra had her own ideas for she quickly grew impatient and seized his hands, setting one on her breast and the other on her ass, and Junkrat was not arguing with that. He was definitely up for fondling her, and nor did he mind that she seemed equally as fascinated by the lean muscle of his torso.
She pushed his shirt up, mapped out each plane, from the sharp outline of his ribs to his abs and every freckle or scar inbetween, leaving heated trails in the wake of her curious fingers. Junkrat gave a frustrated growl, pulling back for a moment to tear his shirt off and cast it carelessly aside, returning immediately to kiss her again. Symmetra leant into it. Her hands were snaking lower, tickling the faint trace of hair that dipped into his shorts as he kneaded the soft curve of her ass. What he wouldn't give to have two human hands at a time like this...
This was every one of his fantasies suddenly coming true. He'd never thought he'd actually feel her like he did now, the smoothness of her skin, the weight of her body pressing up against his own...
She dragged him over to the bed, straddling him and immediately diving in for another kiss and Junkrat swore he'd gone to heaven. He moaned against her lips, feeling her run her fingers through his patchy hair as she rocked her hips gently forward over the prominent bulge in his shorts. God he was aching for her so bad...
She sat up, pulling back, and Junkrat fought down a wave of disappointment. He propped himself up on his elbows, and was swiftly consoled by the sight of her undoing the clasps of her dress. That was a development he didn't mind.
"Sure ya don't wanna put on a little music first?"
"Absolutely not," she said, though her tone suggested she didn't mind his chatter.
"Reckon it'd be right sexy."
"Then maybe you'll have to do something to deserve such a reward."
She finally removed the dress, dropping it off the side of the bed and Junkrat was distracted from any further thoughts by the sight of her, arched back as she reached to unhook her bra. Every line of her was perfect. A work of art. He could have marvelled at her for an eternity, still not knowing where to settle his gaze.
The bra joined the dress, and finally he could caress her in earnest, tracing each portion of her body as she continued to bump up against him with agonizing slowness. His cock was throbbing almost painfully within the confines of his shorts, goaded by the contact. It was cruel. Yet at the same time it was deeply pleasurable, and since Symmetra hadn't told him to keep silent he was content to let her know just how much he was enjoying himself with each needy, impatient sound, completely unashamed at the volume. While she was nowhere near as loud he could still hear a telling catch in her breath. What would he need to do to get a proper noise from her?
He traced kisses down her neck, tasting the salt of her skin, breathing in the scent of her. She tugged at his belt buckle, fumbling to undo it, and he reached to help but she pulled his hands away and set them back on her body. Junkrat forced himself to focus, to return his attention to her and ignore the sudden need to rid himself of his shorts. Symmetra could handle that. And she did, with excruciating sluggishness. He had absolutely no doubts that she was taunting him as she slid his belt from his waist an inch at a time. Bloody hell, he wanted to just tear the thing off and fuck her into the bed, but she was clearly enjoying the game of it so he supposed it was only proper to endure this fresh torment. It took her over a minute to finish with the belt, and once that was cast aside she addressed his zipper with equal leisure.
Impatiently he lifted himself up, helping her to do away with the blasted things and he was far too aroused to feel self-conscious about his blatantly stiff cock. All that was left were Symmetra's panties, and those she slid down her gorgeous legs and kicked aside, and all of a sudden she was back in his lap and rubbing up against him. She was wet, god, so beautifully wet, her slick coating his hard length as she continued to tease him with every rock of her hips, grinding up against him unabashedly. The sensation was near overwhelming.
"W-wanna f-fuck you so bad," he groaned loudly, gripping her hips and gasping as she rolled forward with unexpected force.
"Then what's stopping you?" she asked. And she smiled that superior smile, the one he adored, and Junkrat needed no more invitation than that.
He lined himself up, teasing the head of his cock against her folds for a moment with a shiver before the desire grew too strong and he gave in, pushing inside her. She gave a deeply satisfied sigh as he slid home, aided by her wetness, and Junkrat moaned in tandem. No fantasy could come close to the real thing. She was hot, and tight, and more than that she was... she was Symmetra, and he'd never wanted anyone as desperately as he wanted her. This was all he wanted. Everything. No one was as important, as all consuming. He'd burn the world to the ground for her if she asked, would lay every treasure he could find at her feet... all for that beautiful smile, for the way his heart raced when her eyes lingered on him.
He pushed her back onto the bed, setting the pace as he began to thrust in and out with unrestrained appetite. Symmetra's hands dug into his back and she murmured encouragements to him, only half of which were in English but the meaning was more than clear. She wanted this just as bad. She loved it. He took pleasure in every sound he managed to eek out of her, in the way she rose to meet him as he plunged inside again and again, lost in the blissful rhythm of the act.
"Bite me," she commanded breathlessly, and it took Junkrat a moment to register her words but he kissed at her neck, sucking on the skin and trailing lower until he met her collar bone. Tentatively he let his teeth scrape the flesh, nipping just hard enough to graze but not enough to draw blood.
Symmetra arched up against him, astonishing him with the response, and he doubled his efforts after that, marking her body as he continued to fuck her.
Note that down as a kink he hadn't been expecting. Bit of a turn on, though, seeing her writhe under him as he bit and kissed each inch of her in turn. He wondered, fleetingly, what it might feel like to have her sink her teeth into his own skin, but that was a question for another time because honestly he couldn't think of much else besides the sensation of his cock ramming up into her relentlessly.
He was panting, grunting with effort but still the desire burned so fiercely it felt as if it were consuming him. He could hear Symmetra's breath coming fast too, accompanied by the wet slap of their bodies as her nails scoured lines down his back.
He wanted this to last forever, but there was no way his stamina was up to the task, not after yearning for this for so long. He could already feel his release building. Any attempt at rhythm was abandoned as his pace increased with the carnal need to fill her as deeply as he could.
Slipping his flesh hand down he gently teased at her clit, biting down on her neck again and earning a whine of pleasure. He had to make this good for her too. Had to give her whatever she wanted because fuck knew she deserved it.
"Jamison," she moaned and hooley dooley, it was something else hearing her say it like that...
Her eyelashes fluttered and suddenly she clamped down around him, clutching hold of him as she rode out the waves of ecstasy that shook through her core, keening softly. He could feel every twitch. Every pulse.
Junkrat didn't slow his pace, he was so close now, he was chasing that final high with a mindless determination. He drove himself deeper, slamming into her with his teeth grit together. Fuck, so close...
"S-sym-" he tried, but no, that was wrong, that wasn't her name, not really. He grappled for the right word, dancing on the tip of his tongue and yet evading his grasp as he teetered on the brink. He needed her name. Her real name. Like she had used for him. But his memory was so cloudy and it was so damn hard to focus and...
Then suddenly it hit him.
"Satya," he gasped out, and that was all he needed to send him tumbling over. With a final brutal thrust he lodged himself as deeply as he could, an ungodly moan tearing its way from his throat as he came. He trembled, his seed shooting out in bursts as his hips jerked reflectively, impaling her again, and then more weakly as he emptied himself inside her continually until there was nothing left to pump. Slowing to a stop he rested his head against the pillow, catching his breath as Symmetra stroked his damp hair with tender fingers.
Best fuck of his life. He was still seeing stars, up on cloud nine and giddy with a total contentment he didn't think he'd ever had before. "Fuckin' love you," he mumbled into the pillow, and he felt Symmetra's chuckle as much as heard it.
"How romantic."
Finding his strength he lifted himself up, sliding his softening cock free and flopping down onto his back beside her. "Ya know me, I have a way with words."
"So I have noticed," she said dryly, nestling up against him. She rested her head on his chest and Junkrat let him arm settle around her, holding her close. He was too tired to worry about cleaning up right now and if it didn't bother her then he was more than happy to just lie there with her in his arms, gently stroking the marks he'd left up her shoulders and neck. His heart was beginning to quieten to a steady drum.
"Will you stay for a while?" she asked him softly.
"Of course," he said without even having to think about it, "nowhere I'd rather be."