"Well, you were right about the heat," agreed Joker, as a cab took him and Tetch from the airport to the campsite. "I'm glad I brought along my trusty fedora, although I certainly won't need my trademarked leather jacket here."
"It's dreadful, isn't it?" sighed Tetch, who was wearing a pith helmet and sunglasses, fanning himself with one hand while carrying a parasol in the other. "I can feel my skin burning already, despite my best efforts."
"Hey, I'm whiter than you, and I'm coping," retorted Joker. "Why don't you just man up? I'm surprised you people ever had an empire with all the whining you're doing."
"There's the camp up ahead," said Tetch, nodding at a collection of tents. Several native workers were digging in the sand surrounding the campsite, and others rushed water to and fro.
"No sign of Dr. Crane or Dr. Quinzel – figures they'd leave the hard work to other people," sighed Joker, as he climbed out of the car. "Classic nerd behavior. Just sit in your tent all day and leave the actual digging to the grunts."
"Remember, Joker, you're pretending to be one of those nerds too," reminded Tetch, as he paid the cab driver, and then headed for the largest tent.
"Yeah, don't remind me," sighed Joker, as he pulled the tent flap aside. A tall, thin man with glasses was seated inside, intently studying some maps. He looked up in surprise at the visitors.
"Jervis, I didn't know you were planning a visit to the dig site!" he exclaimed. "I'd have had someone pick you up from the airport!"
"We hired a cab – there were quite a few eager to take us," said Tetch. "I must look like a good tipper, or an easy mark."
"It's the latter, trust me," voiced Joker.
"Dr. Jonathan Crane, this is Dr. Indiana Joker, a fellow expert on the cult of the Batman," Tetch said, gesturing at Joker with a warning look. "I met him through my work in the museum, and he was incredibly keen to visit the dig site. I didn't see the harm."
"Ah…a fellow expert, you say?" said Crane, raising an eyebrow at Joker as he extended his hand. "Your name is unfamiliar to me – what journals have you been published in?"
"Journals schmournals – I don't waste my time publishing in obscure rags nobody reads," retorted Joker, waving his hand. "I've just recently had a book printed by a major academic publisher."
"Oh, which one?" asked Crane.
"The best one," retorted Joker.
"And that would be?" asked Crane.
"Well, if you don't know that, I can't help you," replied Joker, shrugging.
"It's Cambridge," spoke up Tetch. "But then I'm a Cambridge man myself, so naturally I would say that."
"I wasn't aware Cambridge was interested in the Batman cult," said Crane. "All of my book proposals were rejected by them."
"Well, they liked mine," said Joker. "Can't imagine why – maybe I'm just better at your job than you are."
Crane glared at him. "Jervis, it does seem careless of you to bring outsiders in on this – we aren't the only people looking for this Batman tomb, you know," he said, turning to him. "There are rumors that the Nazis are interested in finding it too."
"Dr. Joker is no Nazi, I can promise you that," replied Tetch. "He hates them with a fiery passion."
"You got that right," agreed Joker, nodding. "I also hate anyone who might be collaborating with them."
"Are you accusing me of something?" demanded Crane. "Because if you are, you should just come out and say it."
"Nobody is accusing anyone of anything!" snapped Tetch, stepping in between them. "For goodness sake, let's not squabble amongst ourselves the moment we arrive! And bickering before all formal introductions have been made is the height of rudeness. Where's Dr. Quinzel?"
"Outside working on an excavation," replied Crane. "I'll introduce you."
"Well, at least Dr. Quinzel ain't lazy," muttered Joker, as he followed Crane out of the tent and back into the desert heat. "That's one point in his favor. Probably the only point though."
"Harley, do you have a moment? We have some visitors, my dear!" called Crane, as they approached a dip in the sand dunes.
Joker looked down to see a very attractive woman on her hands and knees, using a small brush to carefully dust the sand off some remains. She adjusted her round glasses, her blue eyes intent on the work in front of her, and brushed back a strand of blonde hair that had escaped from her tight bun. Joker just stared at her, astonished, as she looked up at them and smiled, and then stood up, dusting the sand off her hands and knees.
"Dr. Indiana Joker, Dr. Harleen Quinzel," said Crane, gesturing to her. "Dr. Joker is a fellow expert on the Batman and has come to help us with our excavation."
"It's nice to meet you, Dr. Joker. Please call me Harley – everyone does," said Harley, beaming at Joker as she held out her hand. He just stared at her with his jaw open in astonishment.
"You see not all academics are the same," muttered Tetch, smugly.
"I'll say," gasped Joker. "Now there's a body worth guarding!"
"I beg your pardon?" asked Harley, looking puzzled.
"I mean…uh…it's a pleasure to meet you, Harley," said Joker, recovering himself quickly as he bent down to kiss her hand. "I gotta say, I never expected…to meet someone like you out here."
"Yeah, it's mostly men doing the digs because they don't think a woman is equal to the task," said Harley, nodding. "I'm very grateful to Dr. Crane for trusting me to be able to do the work, and for letting me tag along on this expedition."
"Well, nobody could blame him for that," agreed Joker. "I mean, he'd have to be crazy not to want you along."
"Dr. Quinzel is a very capable researcher and field worker who got this job entirely on her own merits, and I don't want you implying anything else," retorted Crane, coldly.
"I don't think I did," said Joker. "But I gotta say, you're a little touchy about it. Why is that, Professor?"
"No, we don't need another argument!" snapped Tetch. "Both of you, just calm down! Harley, it's lovely to see you again, my dear," he said, kissing her hand. "If you're in a position to take a break from your work, I'd be honored if you'd join us for a cup of tea."
"That'd be nice," said Harley, smiling at him. "Just let me pack up…"
"Come along, Jonathan, help me boil the kettle," said Tetch, taking his friend's arm and steering him to the tent, with Crane glaring back at Joker. "There's no way I'm drinking the water here until it's been thoroughly boiled…"
"I'll carry those tools for you, Harley, if I may," said Joker, bending down to help her collect her tools.
"Thank you very much, Dr. Joker," said Harley.
"Oh please, just Joker is fine," said Joker. "I don't really like using my title – makes me sound a little pretentious, which I ain't. Unless you like pretentious, of course," he added.
"Not really," replied Harley. "But you get used to dealing with a lotta pretentious people in academia."
"Yeah, I got that impression from Dr. Crane," agreed Joker. "Are you and he…I mean, you're not…he's not…are you?"
"I don't know what you mean," said Harley, clearly confused.
"I mean you two are just…colleagues," said Joker, slowly. "And nothing else?"
"What else would we be?" asked Harley, still confused.
"Well, y'know…romantically involved," said Joker.
Harley laughed. "I'm a professional woman, Dr. Joker, and it's hard enough for a woman to be taken seriously in my profession without getting romantically involved with my superior. I would never do anything to jeopardize that professionalism. Anyway, Dr. Crane isn't really my type."
"Yeah? What is your type?" asked Joker, curiously.
Harley smiled. "I like men of action," she said.
"You mean like an adventurer and comedian extraordinare?" asked Joker.
"I guess," laughed Harley. "You're a funny man, Dr. Joker."
"Just Joker," he corrected. "And I hope you like funny in a man."
"I don't dislike it, certainly," she replied with a smile as they entered Dr. Crane's tent. Harley went over to wash her hands in a basin while Joker gave a low whistle, putting her tools down by the entrance.
"Why didn't you tell me Dr. Quinzel was such a fox, Tetchy?" he whispered to Tetch as he handed him a cup. "Or didn't you notice?"
"I noticed, but I didn't think it was relevant," retorted Tetch, as he poured the tea into it. "You're not here for romance – you're here to work, and you mustn't be distracted from your mission by anything."
"Well, she is quite the distraction," said Joker, still staring at Harley. "Ow!" he exclaimed, as Tetch overfilled the cup and splashed some boiling tea onto his hand holding the saucer, causing him to drop it.
"I'm so sorry," said Tetch, insincerely. "Let me get you a towel to clean yourself up. Distractions can be quite painful, can't they?" he asked, pointedly.
Joker took the towel and glared at Tetch as he poured a cup of tea for Harley. "How are the excavations coming along, Jonathan?" he asked, turning to his friend.
"Slowly but surely," said Crane. "We've found a few objects that indicate the presence of some city – it could be Gotham. The dates align, but of course there were many such cities in ancient Egypt. No need to get our hopes up just yet."
"Have you had much interaction with the Germans?" asked Tetch. "You said there are rumors the Nazis are also searching for Gotham."
"We've not directly interacted with them, no," said Crane. "But I believe…they're responsible for the items that have gone missing from our site."
"Gone missing?" repeated Tetch.
"With all due respect, I think Dr. Crane just has trouble using my cataloguing system," spoke up Harley, as she sipped her tea. "I've been very careful to label everything we've dug up - it's all stored in a tent not far from here. Dr. Crane says he can't find some things he's sure were there, but when I've looked later, I've always been able to locate them."
"Perhaps someone removed them temporarily," suggested Tetch. "Maybe one of the workers?"
"Maybe," agreed Crane. "But they're not particularly interested in what we're doing – they seem very nervous about the whole project, in fact, so they're unlikely to borrow artifacts from it. I can't help but suspect that the Nazis are spying on us somehow, trying to know what we know, and to establish if we actually have found Gotham before trying anything more overt."
"Sounds like you need protection from a man of action," voiced Joker.
Crane looked at him skeptically. "And you would be that, would you?" he asked.
"I dunno – I've been called it before," replied Joker. "At least compared to other academics, who I know traditionally aren't. I'll check out the tent now, and I'll take guard duty tonight," he said, standing up suddenly.
"Yes, I'm sure you'll scare away many trespassers with your whip," said Crane, sarcastically.
"More than you'll scare away with your glasses, four-eyes," retorted Joker. "Not that I have anything against people with glasses," he added hastily, turning to Harley.
"We'll see who'll scare whom, won't we?" muttered Crane, as Joker left them.
"Please, Jonathan, we shouldn't fight amongst ourselves," said Tetch.
"Don't blame me - he's the one who's always picking fights!" snapped Crane. "What on earth were you thinking, Jervis, bringing him here?! So far I've seen absolutely no evidence he's any sort of expert on the Batman! How do you know you can trust him?"
"I was told recently not to trust anyone," sighed Tetch. "But I find that a very difficult way to live."
"I trust him," voiced Harley. "He's a nice-looking guy."
"What do you mean by that?" demanded Crane. "Do you mean he looks like a nice guy, or that you think he's an attractive sort of man?"
Harley shrugged. "I dunno, he's just…nice-looking," she repeated, draining her teacup. "I trust him," she repeated, as she left the tent to head back to work.
"But can he trust you?" sighed Tetch under his breath. "That is the question."