*Author's Note*
Okay you guys! We're officially hitting what I think might just be my favorite part of the story! So along with that I've officially finally joined/re-joined social media! That's right, because you just can't get enough of me, I'm now on both Twitter and Instagram. And here's a list of reasons why you should stop right now, switch apps, and go follow me before coming back to see what's gonna happen to Bennett! Number 1. I'm pretty cool, and I think we should be friends. I definitely think of you readers on FFN as my tribe! But connecting and communicating effectively is not what FFN is good at so maybe just find me on socials and we can connect there! Also sometimes I get really great questions (Like if Bennett is gonna get another perspective chapter in this installment) and there's no good way for me to really communicate and answer them (Because Um YES, Bennett is basically the Beyonce of this series and will ALWAYS get his due chapter!) Number 2. ... this might just be an extension of number 1 but I always want to share playlists or songs that go soooo freaking well with a chapter! So if you want the full immersive experience complete with soundtrack you have a reason right there. Also I'm full of random book suggestions or indie writers I'm obsessed with so there will be plenty of if-you-like-this-check-this-out content. Number 3. you will have instant updates on when I'm working and actually know when a new update is coming!
Okay guys I swear I have no interest in being the next IG influencer even if it seems like I'm shamelessly begging for followers (which I am) but the absolute biggest reason why you should follow me is my last reason. Number 4. because I am finally making my big announcement I've been teasing for weeks and yes I will also announce it here but not for another couple weeks. SO if you like to be one of those people who knows first (and who also gets sweet visuals) than go follow me immediately on IG writer_jessica_summer
or my twitter MissedJess
Okay, that's enough from me! Here's chapter 17! Enjoy!
CHAPTER 17
Claire:
"So… she really thought you were gonna hurt her?"
She stirred just a little as she heard Leah's voice whisper hesitantly. She kept her eyes closed so no one would know she'd heard.
She wasn't exactly faking sleep, more just caught in a limbo somewhere in between actually awake and actually asleep. What little of her waking brain that was active figured it was because she didn't want to fall asleep and miss even a second of soaking up the feeling of Quil pressed right against her.
She hadn't felt him like this in a couple months…. She'd almost grown numb to how much every part of her ached for the feel of him, especially the way they were lying together on the floor with Quil only partially supporting himself up against the wall from his shoulders up. She had her head on his chest, breathing in as much of the scent of him as she physically could. He didn't even smell very good, like dirt and sweat and blood, but also like the things she associated with him and loved, like fresh leaves and the smell of summer rain, and that barely-there hint of bodywash. However he smelled, she didn't know when she'd get the chance to smell him like this again and she didn't want to lose any of it.
She'd let her breath steady out into the even rhythm she was currently following over an hour ago to try to get the most of him continually, instead of in large spurts, and that was probably what had made her fall asleep against him so quickly (or whatever her current state of dozing was) while still catching most of the conversation between Quil, Leah, and Collin there in the waiting area.
".. No… Yes… I don't know…" Quil sighed, and she felt his chest dropped beneath her head and hand even as his left arm stayed wrapped securely around her waist, holding her to his side and his right hand never paused it's lazy trail up and down her back. "… I know she was nervous….. I know she panicked."
"… Why wouldn't she have just taken your hand though?" Collin whispered sounding almost stupefied by it and Claire had just enough awareness to realize she was grateful she was mostly asleep or overhearing this would have had her feeling more mortification, shame, and guilt.
She felt Quil shake his head sadly against the wall above her before he gave a tiny pull of his shoulders to try and shrug without disturbing her on the floor mostly wrapped around his body. After the last time they'd taken their turn to go visit with Bennett, which was pretty awkward with Macy standing next to him though Claire was still too relieved she'd come to actually complain about her being there, they'd made their way together to the waiting room so Leah and Collin could have a turn sitting with him. Quil had just never really let go of her after that moment when she slumped over into his arms and cried on him. He'd kept a hand on her back even when they'd been in the room with Bennett, and he'd left it there as he'd led her back to the empty waiting area.
"Here." He said easily as he had used his hand on her back to hook around her hip and then pulled her to sit down next to him against the wall on the floor.
He'd lifted the arm behind her just to her shoulders and then pulled her right into the side of his chest as he settled his legs out in front of him. Claire had pivoted so she was on her side and could face directly into him when she wrapped her arm around him and used the hand pressed between them to palm his skin on his side in an effort to touch as much of him as possible.
"He'll be okay, Claire." He'd sighed out comfortingly.
She had nodded against him in response without saying anything and he slid down the wall so she could spread out farther.
They hadn't said anything after that and Claire had just stayed wrapped around his bare and dirty chest, holding him and breathing him in for as long as she could until she must have dozed off.
She realized Quil must have slid them farther down the floor so that she was basically horizontal when she woke up just a bit when Leah and Collin had come back in the room.
She wondered if she should feel embarrassed or even ashamed. She was too numb and exhausted to currently feel anything, but she had just enough awareness to realize that even though there was nothing she wanted less than to be separated from Quil's chest with him cradling her here, she didn't want Leah and Collin to see her holding him like this.
Somehow, she knew that this moment was only temporary. It was a calm in a storm. That temporary break between battles that definitely didn't signify an end of the war…. The only thing that had changed between the two of them was the fact that Bennett was hurt. In fact, she wondered if she weren't so tired if she'd even let herself cling onto Quil. She even wondered if Quil wasn't so tired from that night's events if he'd let her cling to him….
"…. She doesn't trust you." Leah mused softly in response to the conversation and even mostly asleep Claire could feel the tension grow in the room after she'd said it.
Suddenly Claire remembered why she was sure that if she had any more strength left in her she wouldn't be holding Quil like her life depended on it…. Leah was right, she didn't trust him…. Except that Claire had no strength left anymore to fight what she wanted, what she needed….. him.
It was quiet between the three wolves, and it seemed like no one knew what to say after Leah's pronouncement. Quil's right hand finally began its soothing trail again after he had paused, and Claire wondered vaguely how he felt about what Leah 's observation. She didn't have the energy to look to try and see though and within a few minutes of the quiet surrounding them had fallen into a deeper sleep again.
"Claire, they're here." Quil's voice suddenly said in her ear as he gave her a soft squeeze with his arms around her.
She pushed against his chest with her hand as she sat up instantly awake and then used both hands to pull her hair away from her face.
"They're here?" she asked as she looked out the windows and realized the sun must be rising behind the building because the light was growing steadily, there were no new vehicles in the parking lot though and they were now the only ones in the waiting area. "…Where?" she asked confused.
"They just came in from the back." he murmured softly as he pressed his lips to the side of her head so that he was buried in her hair as he used his hand around her to gently smooth it from the top down.
She shivered slightly against him from his touch and suddenly she wasn't sitting on floor in a waiting room. Suddenly she was waking up in his bed with him with a broken arm and makeup from the day before still on her face.
He'd kissed her head and played with her hair then too.
She'd wanted him then…. wanted to kiss him, love him, be with him… she was just too confused to realize it yet….
She was confused now too but not about if she wanted him. She did. She wanted him more than she'd ever wanted anything in her entire life. She wanted him so much she hated herself for it.
It'd been weeks since she'd admitted it to herself, lying and telling herself she didn't need him, that she could make it on her own. But here in his arms, waking up against him, smelling him and feeling his hand and lips in her hair, she couldn't deny it.
Along with the amount of stress currently plaguing her, her walls had come crashing down with clarity. There was no confusion about how much she wished she could have him…. Only confusion about why she couldn't. Confusion and stress. So much stress. Her mind felt chaotic as it seemed to bounce around like a pinball in a constant rush of bouncing from fear about Bennett's condition, to aching over Quil, to guilt and shame from the weight of blame she carried over the fight that injured Bennett, and then back again to the fear.
"Here." Quil suddenly interrupted her musing as he stood up and reached down to pull her up with him, "Let's go see what the plan is."
Claire smoothed her wrinkled dress down and Quil stood next to her patiently waiting, refusing to move anywhere without her as she wiped her face and found a pack of gum out of her purse. She wordlessly offered one to him as he nodded his thanks and then stuck it in his mouth. She shoved her own gum in her mouth and tried to comb through her mess of hair that she wished she could pull back before Quil put his hand on the small of her back.
He guided her down the hall again to the junction where they found Carlisle studying images on a tablet and looking like he was a sentinel standing guard over Bennett still strapped to the board being carried out by Jacob and Collin while Leah held the back door open, and Macy held the door open to the room with the x-ray.
Somehow the sight of Carlisle Cullen standing before her for the first time in years was shocking. Jarring even for her.
He wasn't as tall or as old as Claire always thought of him but that was probably because she'd been a child when she'd last seen him. He looked the same age that Jacob and Quil and even Bennett looked which felt confusing, and his blonde hair seemed to glow more than shine, like it was reflecting light where light wasn't shining.
He was incredibly good looking, she could see that now, but in the same way she'd thought Tag was good looking just in a more extreme way… he was too clean cut, his face was too angular and smooth… he was beautiful but there was none of that natural roughness to draw her in to him.
He looked up at her from where he'd been pointing out something on the tablet and caught her studying him. He smiled pleasantly at her and something about it made her heart suddenly race nervously even as she tried to return the smile.
"Claire..." A soft voice breezed happily, and Claire jumped almost directly into Quil, wrapping her arms around him in fear the way she hadn't done since she was probably fourteen and he'd let her watch the first half of The Shining with him before turning it off again.
She looked over in alarm at Esme standing so close to her she had no idea how she could have not noticed her even in the small amount of chaos of focusing on Bennett and everyone around him.
Quil's hand moved from the small of her back to her shoulder and gave it a reassuring squeeze as she suddenly flustered, "Oh, hi Mrs. Cullen! Sorry, I just didn't see you there."
She forced herself to ignore the chill running down her spine and resisted the urge to shake her arms out to rid the adrenaline suddenly surging through her as she pulled away from Quil and leaned forward, forcing her body to move as she awkwardly offered Esme a hug in front of her.
Esme either didn't seem to notice or she didn't mind Claire's uncomfortable behavior when she offered a beautiful lilt of a chuckle and said, "Please just call me Esme! I can't believe how grown up you are now, Claire. You've changed so much in the last few years!"
Claire tried to smile but just felt more uncomfortable than anything.
She couldn't help it. It'd been so long since she'd been around any of the Cullen's that she'd forgotten the chill that would go through you and the almost tingle they left on your skin just from looking at you or being in their presence.
They were so beautiful and kind and yet it all felt so earie, like nothing truly beautiful and natural could be that iridescent. It was something she couldn't quite put her finger on but her subconscious seemed to know just by looking at them that they just weren't natural. Like how only radioactive things glow… it's beautiful… sort of… but also a clear and deadly warning.
"… uh….. Thank you..." Claire whispered almost breathlessly, not doing a particularly articulate job of representing the now grown version of herself to Esme who she hadn't seen since they'd all moved to France together when Claire had been ten.
"I've seen pictures of course but they don't do you justice." Esme said in her genuinely sweet and loving tone and Claire just smiled and blushed and tried to look directly at her while feeling like she didn't know what to do with her hands.
Esme held her gently above the elbows and if Claire was being honest she really didn't want to touch her back, thankfully Esme dropped her arms but never stepped back so that she still felt much too close in Claire's personal space even from a foot away before she said, "Quil, you're very lucky. I think even as a child we knew she'd be beautiful, but Claire is simply exquisite-"
Claire blew a breath of relief she couldn't quite explain when Quil's hand landed on the small of her back again, it felt like she was suddenly tethered to safety instead of locked in the embrace of cold and fear. He chuckled easily, seeming unbothered by Esme before he replied, "I never had any doubts. Claire's always been the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."
He leaned in, much closer to Esme then Claire ever would have expected him to get and kissed the side of Claire's hair again.
She blushed as she looked at the floor, too uncomfortable from the combination of being held by a vampire and then all of the comments about her looks, to actually speak and Esme laughed as she took a small step back, seeming perfectly content to surrender Claire back to Quil.
"Mmm." Esme seemed to muse very softly before she continued, "Too bad Rose and Alice aren't here. You two do look beautiful together… a very beautiful pairing… Alice is going to be so disappointed she didn't get to see you herself."
Claire sucked in a slightly shocked breath as she turned her body in to face Quil. She wasn't sure why she did that since she was embarrassed and more wanted to hide than anything, but he somehow felt so safe, especially in Esme's presence. Even if she knew she wasn't in danger, her arms were still shaking, and she was blushing, and she had no idea how to respond to that comment. It made her feel like some sort of weird mix between cattle and a barbie doll at the idea that the two of them looked so beautiful together that other vampires would be disappointed they didn't get to see it. Like toys paired together so perfectly they were even more fun to play with or like she'd been bred by nature or fate or magic or something to be so beautifully perfect as Quil's imprint. She knew that Esme was inherently kind and good and only meant it as a compliment. There was zero subtext behind what she'd said and yet it made Claire uncomfortable anyway.
She was just grateful for the rescue when Quil laughed in response and kissed her head seemingly indulgently, playing it off like she was just embarrassed instead of uncomfortable and boarder-line offended, before he said easily, "Thanks, we'll have to send 'em a picture."
Carlisle joined Esme in a laugh as Jacob scoffed in response and Bennett suddenly called out, "Meredith, where the hell have you been!?"
Claire rushed forward the few steps to stand next to Bennett where Jacob and Collin were still carrying him. Macy had been on the same side standing next to his feet after they'd made it through the door she was holding open, but the second Claire came closer and grabbed Bennett's arm Macy sidled up next to her until she was touching Claire's side and then slipped her left hand right into Claire's right one as she simultaneously grabbed onto Bennett's hand in front of her.
She almost jumped in shock and froze in place for a second until Macy squeezed her hand and she suddenly understood. They were the only two humans in a crowded hallway full of supernatural beings who could all kill them (though they probably wouldn't) in the blink of an eye. It was unsettling and Claire felt it too as she squeezed Macy's hand back and tried to shake away the thought that this is what two bank robbing hostages must feel like. Bonded by the fear and trauma. It was a ridiculous thought and she tried to shake it away.
"Sorry! I fell asleep for a couple hours there! Did I miss anything?" Claire chirped and almost cringed when she heard her peppy cheerleading voice come out.
She'd meant to sound energetic, but her nerves had gotten the best of her. Between the Cullen's presence in such close proximity and the thought of the surgery Bennett was clearly headed for her anxiety was starting to sky-rocket.
"… Yeah, you missed all the action… I stared at the ceiling for a few hours and then Carlisle got here and took some more x-rays… you really missed out." He said seriously.
Everyone laughed except for Claire and Macy as Jacob and Collin started moving him toward the door again. Bennett had clearly been joking and though he seemed like he was in good spirits there was something hovering just below the surface that made Claire think he was barely keeping himself from freaking out.
She had to blink the moisture out of her eyes as she squeezed his arm and watched him swallow in response before she was suddenly caught by the door frame and had to let him go so that Macy could follow him out while still holding his hand.
"Where are they taking him!?" Claire suddenly asked as she spun back around, not even sure who she was asking.
Leah was still holding the door open, and Carlisle was pointing out something on the x-ray to Quil who nodded with a serious look on his face and Esme studied the image from Carlisle's other side.
Carlisle looked up and smiled at her as he said easily, "We called a head to have the house set up for the surgery. Unfortunately, I can't operate on him at the hospital since I started working there twenty years ago and people still remember me and would have expected me to age some." He smiled and shrugged like it was just a mild inconvenience to have not aged a day in twenty years as he continued, "We have everything set up at the house though and it's a quick drive to Forks… I'll actually be operating on him in the same room Renesmee was born in."
Claire's mouth fell open just a tiny bit as she tried to process everything he was saying just as Jacob snorted loudly and called back through the door Leah was holding open,
"Yeah, the same room Bella died in!"
Claire spun around in shocked confusion to look outside in the direction the sun was rising in, blinding her as she tried to shield her eyes and watch Jacob and Collin load Bennett into an ambulance. She had no idea where the ambulance came from, but it was there with its doors open waiting for them as they pulled Bennett in and Macy quickly climbed up to follow him while still holding his hand.
Esme tsked softly with disapproval behind Claire before she said with a soft chastisement, "It was just the room she transitioned in after Renesmee's birth… it was the room she was reborn in."
Claire suddenly realized Esme'd said this for her benefit and wondered if her face had drained of color when she thought about Bennett being operated on in a house in the same room Renesmee had ripped herself out of her mother's body and where her mother had then died as she transitioned from a human into a vampire... She felt like it had, and she tried her best to blink back some life into her face as she turned back around and simply muttered,
"…. Sounds great."
Her voice sounded lifeless, and she was grateful when Quil's hand landed on her back again guiding her forward out the door into the sunlight.
"Come on, we'll follow behind them." He assured her as he rubbed his large hand assertively up her back.
She just nodded gratefully in response as she watched Jacob and Collin hop out of the ambulance and then shut the doors behind them before walking over to meet Leah at the side of Collin's truck.
Claire opened her mouth to ask Quil how long it'd take to get to the Cullen's house in Forks before her mouth fell completely open when Carlisle and Esme stepped out of the back door and into the sunlight so that suddenly light was being reflected off of them from every angle.
She could feel the look frozen on her face as they walked at a very brisk, business-like pace and climbed in the front of the ambulance while sending rainbows in every direction as the sunlight hit their skin and then sparkled off it. It was slightly horrifying… like they were such unnatural creatures that even the sunlight couldn't land peaceful on their skin.
She suddenly jerked a little to the side when Quil pulled on her hand, dragging her slightly in the direction of the car without her even realizing he'd grabbed her hand. She shook her head and forced herself to look away from the spot on the pavement that a rainbow had just disappeared from after Carlisle had shut the door of the ambulance.
Quil chuckled softly next to her, and she knew that despite how exhausted he must have been he was finding her reactions to the Cullens entertaining.
She let him lead her over to the passenger side of the Camaro before he stood her next to the car and then pulled her small purse away from her stiff body, she was too confused to respond when he reached in and dug around for just a moment before pulling out her keys and then unlocking the door and holding it open for her. He dropped the keys back in before he helped her slide in and then shut the door again.
She forced herself to move and shake it off as she buckled her seat belt and he came around and slid in the driver's side, pushing the button and starting the car as he went, he had to hit his preset seat button and then wait while the seat moved itself back a good eight inches from where she had left it.
It was quiet between them since she'd turned the radio off when she'd gotten in his car the night before, but she was still trying to find a shred of normalcy to hold onto so she didn't really notice or mind as Quil pulled the car out and then left the urgent care behind when he followed Collin's truck out of the parking lot.
"…. Sorry about the Cullens…. They can be a lot at first." He muttered and Claire suddenly realized that this was the first moment they'd had alone together to talk since the night before when she'd cried against him until Collin and Leah had shown up.
"… No, no…" Claire muttered a little weakly, "They're just a little…." she faded off unsure of what she wanted to say to describe them.
"Creepy." Quil replied confidently like he knew that was exactly what she meant.
"No! They're so nice and kind and ….. capable…." She assured herself as much as him and then looked over and saw the skeptical way he was watching her with his eyebrow cocked, "…. and…" she tried to think of the right word to describe the unsettling way they put her on edge, "…. Creepy….. there isn't a better word for it, is there?"
Quil laughed at her as he looked back at Collin's truck in front of them and said, "They're good people…. It's not their faults, they're just….. vampires."
He said the word like it explained it and Claire suddenly realized that it did. She hesitated a bit before she suddenly whispered to him, "Can they still hear us?"
He chuckled a little before he reached over and grabbed her hand on her lap and rubbed his thumb soothingly along the palm of her open hand, "No." he assured her, "Not from here, not with the cars running."
She nodded in relief before she suddenly let the shivers run through her whole body and shook her hands with Quil's still held around one out in front of her, letting the chills and adrenaline work their way out.
"bbbbbrrr" she blew out with her lips smacking together like a horse as she shook her head quickly.
He chuckled again at her as he squeezed her hand comfortingly and then she asked in the same quiet whisper as if she was afraid of being overheard even though he'd just told her they wouldn't be, "Has Dr. Cullen ever operate on a wolf before?"
Quil grew serious and stared out at the road in front of them when She looked at him. She could see the way he sucked in the side of his cheek and bit down on it slightly as he shook his head in response.
She looked away to stare out the window as she brought her free hand up to her mouth and bit on the tip of her thumb in an effort to keep from crying or saying something stupid like what a bad idea this was starting to sound like.
"He'll be okay, Claire. We've got to believe that." he assured and she looked over at him in surprise as he squeezed her hand again. "Like you said, Carlisle is incredibly capable, and we've got everything going for us including Bennett's healing abilities…" Quil's voice broke and faded off right at the end and Claire's heart dropped.
"What is it?" she asked cautiously as she continued to stare at him while he drove.
He hesitated for just a second, took a breath and his whole body seemed to shake with it before he squeezed her hand, this time like he was trying to draw comfort instead of offer it and she squeezed this thumb back in return.
"-Carlisle is very confident he can fix it… that there won't be any damage on his spinal cord…."
Claire nodded with relief as she watched him struggle, "…. But?"
"….. but he might not be able to phase ever again." He finished in a voice barely above a whisper and squeezed her hand even tighter in response before she'd even processed his words.
She shook her head as she tried to process that but just felt confused, "….. like his wolf body wouldn't work anymore or?"
"No, it's not that… Bennett would still have the ability to phase… it just might not be safe for him to.." He looked over at her and she noticed that he seemed a little relieved like he'd thought she'd be angry at him over this prognosis. She wasn't. If it was anyone's fault it was hers.
"…Why?" she asked still confused. She wasn't even sure she could comprehend all the implications behind what that might mean.
"Carlisle needs to fuse his vertebrae back together, it's a procedure he's familiar with but human spines aren't the same as wolves' and when we phase our spines have to be able to adapt and basically twist into a wolf's…. he's worried that if Bennett phases after he's healed then the vertebrae might break apart again… this time possibly causing more damage."
"He told you this? Just now, Dr Cullen told you all of this?" she questioned anxiously, hoping to find some way to disprove him.
Quil just nodded as he looked over at her seriously.
"…. Well…. that'd be okay…." she said as she tried to process it all. "He doesn't need to be a wolf…. He can stop… he'll be fine…. Not everybody chooses to stay a wolf…. Didn't you say a bunch of the wolves only phased once or twice and then left the pack after the big vampire fights?"
Quil shrugged a bit as he gripped the wheel tighter in his free hand and then said roughly, "Yeah but that was all their choice."
She just looked forward out the windshield as she thought about Bennett's choices being stripped away because of her and Quil… again….
The silence grew thick between them, and she knew he was also thinking about how much Bennett didn't deserve this. When her eyes burned and filled with tears, she knew she was about to lose her battle fighting against them, she tried to change the subject and redirect both of their thoughts from Bennett's surgery.
"…. When do you leave for Atlanta?" she asked quietly before she cleared her throat and blinked up at the ceiling.
Quil cleared his throat too before he responded a moment later, "… I was supposed to fly out this morning… Hannah's having an emergency c-section."
She looked over at him in surprise since he hadn't shared that detail the night before, "What's wrong?"
"I'm not sure… they think the placenta might block the baby from being born or something, they're trying to go in and take the baby out before anything goes wrong." He explained as he squeezed her hand back and she realized she'd squeezed his first.
"…..What do you mean supposed to leave this morning?" she asked as she realized what he'd said.
"… I can't leave now." Quil said with a shrug as they took the Forks turn off.
She just sighed in discouragement realizing that even if he should be in Atlanta today his responsibilities here would certainly supersede that now.
"I wasn't planning on going." He suddenly said like he was confessing something.
"What do you mean?" she asked confused.
"I told you I wouldn't go without you….. I wasn't going to." He explained and Claire suddenly felt her shoulders relax from the stress she hadn't realized she was carrying over it, "My mom called on Saturday and asked me to come … said that Hannah was asking for me to come, she's really nervous about the surgery."
She had to clear her throat again before she replied, "It's okay, I understand, Quil."
He looked over at her as he watched her from the driver's seat like he was evaluating her to see if she really did understand. She offered a small smile in response and saw the way his own shoulders seemed to lighten.
"Uh where is the Cullen's house?" Claire asked in confusion as he suddenly turned off the main road following the ambulance and then Collin's truck onto the turn off that looked like it went nowhere except into a confusing maze of forest.
"It's just up the bend." he replied relieved and then she suddenly looked down in confusion when he suddenly fed his fingers possessively through hers.
He'd only ever held her hand like this when they'd been dating. He'd barely hugged her since he'd broken up with her and she looked over at him in confusion just as they turned a bend and he suddenly nodded forward.
"Holy -!" she suddenly cut off when she remembered he didn't respond well whenever she cursed, "Have you ever been here before!?" she asked in disbelief as the house came into view. House felt like too harsh a word for the mini mansion they were creeping toward, words like estate came to mind and felt more fitting.
"Yeah," Quil laughed next to her, "Jake lived here for a while, remember?"
"I do not remember ever coming here." Claire breathed out in shock as she watched the ambulance back up directly in line with the front porch that looked like it wrapped around the entire house.
"I never brought you here." Quil explained and she looked over at him in confusion, until he continued, "I always asked Jake to bring Renesmee to the reservation to see you… call me overprotective but I never wanted you anywhere near this house…. There was never less than half a dozen vampires in there at a time!"
He parked the car under the shade of giant oak tree near the perimeter of the house and Claire just looked away with a mildly impressed look on her face. A few hours ago, if he'd admitted that, she probably would have thought he was ridiculous, now after only spending five minutes around Carlisle and Esme she was even feeling slightly grateful for his intervention on her behalf as a child.
Leah, Jake, and Collin were already carrying Bennett in through the front door as Claire and Quil got out of the car and made their way across the yard. The house looked so warm and inviting almost at odds with the naturally deterred way the Cullen's seemed to make her feel, except it did seem to fall in line with the warm image they seemed to try to project… though the house was sincerely approachable instead of just a façade.
Claire shook her head to try to shake away the thoughts about the Cullen's trying to distract her and then jogged a little up the stairs to catch up to Macy walking in. Carlisle and Esme must have run ahead because they weren't anywhere to be found and Quil suddenly pressed his hands to Claire's waist, immediately making her relax into his touch and realize she had tensed her entire body with nervous anticipation when she stepped through the door. The relief he offered was short lived though, since he only grabbed her to move her to the side so he could hop past her to help Jacob, Leah, and Collin navigate Bennett up the spiral staircase. His weight wasn't the problem since any one of the four of them could carry him but keeping his board steady while maneuvering his six-foot five frame up a circular stairway seemed to take all four of them moving silently, yet tandemly to accomplish.
The silence sat heavy in the room while the pack worked, and Macy hovered at the bottom of the stairs waiting to follow Bennett up. Claire stood alone in the room below feeling uncomfortable in the space despite its wide-open airiness, her feelings of uselessness didn't help the situation as she watched Bennett's face tense as he closed his eyes and pressed his lips together tightly like he was in pain but refused to make a sound with each step forward shaking and jostling his board slightly.
Suddenly she couldn't take it as she watched his pain and the pressure cooker of stress the atmosphere in the room seemed to have become and she yelled,
"'PIVOT!'"
The entire group seemed to freeze and look down at her in bewildered confusion from where they were working their way up the stairs.
"'Pi-vot, PI-VOT!'" she continued as everyone looked down at her with expressions ranging from concern, to fear for her sanity.
Suddenly the room filled with Bennett's laughter as he started cracking up so hard, he was shaking the board and Collin let out a small, "whoa!" when his hold on the board almost shook out of his hand since he'd been staring at Claire.
"Did you just say, 'pivot'?" Bennett laughed as he put his hand on his chest and then moaned a little, "Don't make me laugh that hard, Claire, it hurts!" he was leaking tears from his eyes as he gave another chuckle though.
"Good Lord." Jacob said with annoyance as he rolled his eyes and then shoved the board forward again forcing everyone else to move with him. But then he looked back down and winked at Claire, so she wondered how much of his badass persona he tried to adapt simply to keep his pack in line.
"Is that…. Is that a Friends reference?" Leah asked the group softly as she continued holding the left side of the board while sounding confused.
Bennett chuckled again and Macy suddenly giggled too like she was too scared to until she was sure no one would get mad at her for it.
"That was a good one, Mere." Bennett called down happily and Claire just chuckled in relief, happy to see the look of misery on his face finally gone.
"Wasn't that show canceled before these kids were even born?" Collin questioned to the three holding the board around him as they reached the top of the staircase.
"I was born before the last season aired." Bennett chirped happily and Claire suddenly wondered what sort of pain killers Carlisle had him on, because he usually wasn't that silly, and her Friends joke really hadn't been that funny.
"I introduced Claire to it when she was fourteen and we were trying to find things we could both stand to watch…. Now I'm thinking that might have been a mistake." Quil explained with a shrug, and she rolled her eyes at him from the bottom of the stairs.
She had no idea he was watching her until he suddenly chuckled in response, and she looked up in time to see him wink at her before he stepped away from the board to let Jake and Collin have more freedom with it.
She was glad he'd looked away because she'd frozen on the stairs in shock as her heart pounded. He had winked at her? she tried not to smile as she shook her head, too shocked and confused to try to interpret that, especially when there were much more crucial things to currently worry about… besides Jake had winked too so it's not like it meant anything….
"I've seen Friends, but I don't get the reference…" Collin said easily as they kept moving. He sounded so relaxed she would have thought they'd all just gotten together for a barbeque, but from the look of relief on Bennett's face it was a vast improvement to the tension of the last few hours.
"… Um it's the one with Ross's couch." Claire explained a little lifeless as she kept staring at Bennett's feet making their way down the hall as she hurried to climb the stairs and keep track of him.
"Have I seen that one?" Collin suddenly asked Leah next to him.
Leah looked up in shock as she shrugged bewildered at him, "How the hell would I know?"
Bennett suddenly started laughing hilariously again at her reaction and then everyone else chuckled in response to him.
"Someone's feeling good." Collin laughed at him, and Jacob nodded heartily from Bennett's feet where he couldn't see him.
"Carlisle gave him something to stay on top of the pain… I think it's working..." Jake laughed as he suddenly stopped and muttered, "In here."
They easily carried Bennett through the door he'd gestured too until his feet disappeared from Claire's view and her heart rate seemed to quaduple in response. She hurried forward to where Leah and Macy were making their way into the room and Quil was standing in the hall waiting for her to catch up before he set his hand against her back and before he'd make his way in behind her.
When his hand shook until he pressed it against her dress, she realized he was as stressed as she was and was looking for the comfort and security their contact with each other provided. She reached out and squeezed his thigh next to her as she stepped through the door since it was the closet part of him she could reach.
The room was so much larger and more clinical than she'd been expecting, and she stopped just inside the door to look around at the room with bookshelves on the edges but that otherwise mirrored a surgical unit. There was even a scrub sink against the wall and there were machines and monitors all over including at least three large free standing light fixtures that hadn't been turned on yet but Claire could see that they were just barely set to the side so that once Carlisle got started they could be moved into position, she suddenly wondered with Carlisle's superior vision how helpful the surgical lights were or if he could do this procedure in the dark. She figured he must have some need for them though otherwise they wouldn't be here.
"Claire…"
Claire suddenly snapped out of her musings and looked around the room when she heard her name. Carlisle was standing next to head of the table that Bennett had just been set on while still strapped to his board. She was surprised to see Stephen the PA (who she'd basically forgotten about since the night before) standing next to Dr. Cullen and Esme. Leah and Collin were standing back against some bookshelves on the edge of the room looking like they were trying to stay out of the way. Jacob was standing on the opposite side of the table from Esme but a few feet back like he was leaving room around the table for someone to fill in. Claire felt Quil's presence slide up next to and slightly behind her as she spotted Macy standing in front of Jake right next to Bennett where she was holding his hand and looking at Claire so that she suddenly realized she'd been the one to say her name.
When she looked at her in question Macy gave her a small, strained smile and nodded down at Bennett on the table in front of her. His right hand was securely interwoven with Macy's fingers, but his left hand was held up at the elbow where he still had free range of motion and held open like he was waiting for something.
She suddenly jumped forward when she realized he was waiting for her and moved forward to squeeze in right next to him so that she could tightly grab his hand in hers even though she was now blocking Esme and Stephen's view of him from where they stood around the chunky machinery.
A heavy silence settled around the room and Claire swallowed as she suddenly realized something was about to begin.
"Alright, Bennett, how are you feeling?" Carlisle asked happily as if he did this all the time and Claire suddenly wondered if he did.
Bennett tried to shrug, and she reached her free hand down to hold back his shoulders even though he was too restricted by the straps across him and the brace on his neck to move.
"Somewhere between high as a kite and it hurts like a mother f-"
"-Okay!" Claire cut across him quickly before he could finish, and Collin snickered behind her. It was one thing to speak easily and openly when it was just the two of them in her room listening to the nineties R&B playlist he'd made, and another to say certain things in front of Jacob, Carlisle, and Esme, and if Bennett wasn't so out of it, he'd probably be grateful for her intervention.
"That's probably to be expected," Carlisle mused seriously like he wasn't deterred, and Claire smiled when Macy let out the same relieved breath she had. She felt just a little like she, Macy, and Bennett were the kids that had snuck into a staff meeting in the teacher's lounge and we're wondering if they were all about to be sent to the principal's office…. Except Carlisle was the principal. "You won't feel anything anymore once you fall asleep."
She suddenly tensed up when she realized Carlisle really was just moments away from opening Bennett up right there on that table. She tried to swallow down her fear as she looked up and saw her panic mirrored in Macy's face across from her, she suddenly reached out with her left hand that had been uselessly holding Bennett's shoulder down and reached across the table over Bennett's chest. Macy didn't hesitate as she reached over and grabbed Claire's hand. They both squeezed their hands together at the same time so that it suddenly felt like they had completed a triangle all offering strength and comfort to each other as the three of them all held to each other and pretended like they weren't completely freaking out…. Well Macy and Claire were, Bennett seemed a little too high for that…. Though his hand did tense in Claire's so she figured he must be feeling a little of the severity of the situation.
"Esme is here to act as the anesthesiologist, Bennett. She'll be monitoring your vitals the entire time and making sure you stay nice and comfortable and asleep." Carlisle continued without ever pausing when Macy and Claire had suddenly reached for each other over Bennett.
"…Uh…" Bennett suddenly cut across him sounding a little panicked, "…No offense, Esme, but is she really qualified for that?"
Carlisle, Jacob, and Esme all chuckled before Esme reached out and lightly patted Bennett's shoulder with her freezing cold hand, "I might not have ever been to medical school, but I've had a few years to study Carlisle's techniques." She offered in her voice that was her most redeeming quality. It was the only thing about her that was soothing.
"…. Okay…" Bennett agreed sounding more confused than anything, "….and what about the….. the blood…?" he asked with a mixture of awkwardness and nervousness and Claire suddenly tensed with her hands in Macy's and Bennett's. She hadn't even thought about his blood as he was cut open on the table and how these vampires would respond to it especially with no one else around to even witness what would happen when Bennett was asleep on the operating table.
"…. That you don't need to worry about." Carlisle assured him at the same time Jacob snorted. "It probably won't be as much blood as you'd assume when we cut you open. Stephen is here to assist me, and part of his job is to use the suction which will remove the blood from the working area. As far as the temptation goes, it's very minimal for Esme and myself and I can assure we have complete control."
Jacob continued before Carlisle had even completely finished, "Your blood wouldn't even taste good to them, you stupid mutt." He said it teasingly but every head in the room (besides Bennett's) seemed to turn to Carlisle and Esme in question.
Esme smiled a little sheepishly like she was slightly embarrassed before she muttered, "… We aren't particularly drawn to the wolves, it's true…."
She looked like she was afraid of offending, but Bennett looked decidedly relieved as Jacob muttered, "That's a nice way of putting it."
"So, Bennett," Carlisle continued, getting everyone back on track again, "We'll wait until you fall asleep before we remove you from the board and prep you for surgery. It'll be easier for you and less risk of increasing the injury that way…. do you have any questions before we begin?"
Claire had thought that she, Macy, and Bennett had all been holding each other as tightly as they could before (at least her and Macy, she knew Bennett was holding as tightly as he could without hurting them) until Carlisle asked if he was ready to begin and then all of three of them seemed to squeeze the life out of the others hands so that they seemed to complete some sort of stress circle where they all felt the same tension and transferred it to each other.
".. uh… how long will the surgery take?" Bennett asked as they all continued to squeeze their hands. Claire's fingers were going numb, but she didn't care. In that moment she felt like Macy and Bennett were her lifeline that was keeping her from drowning, and she wasn't going to let them go for anything.
"It'll probably only take a few hours, but it might take you another few hours to wake up from the anesthesia…. You obviously have a unique physiology, and we want to make sure to keep you comfortable so it might take some time for it to wear off." Carlisle explained with a happy smile like all of this was interesting and intriguing instead of horrific and terrifying. Claire suddenly wondered how everyone else in the room felt about the situation and where they fell on that spectrum.
Bennett swallowed and then took a big breath before he asked, "… What are-…." He cut off and swallowed as he looked at Macy above him and Claire could see the fear in his eyes before she looked back at Macy to see her smile down at him even as tears pooled in her eyes and then started leaking silently down her cheeks, "… What are they chances I won't wake up, doc? Just give it to me straight." He finished steadily.
"Incredibly minimal." Carlisle immediately assured. "I'm very good at what I do, Bennett. It's why I'm here. I wouldn't trust you in the hands of someone less than the best. I do realize that might sound a little presumptuous of me, but I want to assure you that I will use all of my significant capabilities to make sure you not only wake up but that when you walk out of this house you are functioning at as close to one hundred percent as anyone on this earth can possibly get you to."
It was incredibly obvious how impassioned Dr Cullen was about his work as a surgeon and it felt impossible to doubt his sincerity when his bedside manner was so confident and comforting. Claire felt all three of them breathe a breath of relief together in response as she and Macy nodded in tandem and Bennett seemed to relax beneath them.
"So, just try to relax and enjoy your nap and everyone will be here in a few hours when you wake up." Dr Cullen spoke directly to Bennett from above him as he started prepping a machine and then grabbed what looked like a clear oxygen mask attached to the machine with a clear tube. Claire moved a little to the side when Esme stepped around her and then softly placed her freezing cold fingers on Claire's wrist, guiding them down until Bennett's arm laid flat against the board with his hand still in hers. Claire realized what she was doing when she silently and surprisingly quickly speared Bennett with a needle right into the vein pumping inside his elbow.
"What the hell?" Bennett asked sounding confused since he'd been staring at Macy's smiling but tearful face the entire time.
"Sorry, just had to insert your IV." Esme hummed regretfully like she really was worried she'd hurt him though it'd been the most impressive needle insertion Claire had ever seen. As she spoke Esme pulled a tube over and connected to the base of the needle before opening the line to allow the fluid to pump into him from the bag above her shoulder. She stepped back again seemingly to give Claire space as she took the bag with her and hung it from one of the lamps that still hadn't been turned on.
"…Wait.." Bennett suddenly mused calmly, and Claire looked back down at him to see him looking directly at her as he asked, "Did Quil leave without saying goodbye?"
She froze with confusion, and it seemed like the rest of the room did too as she started, "…wha-?"
Quil suddenly stepped forward obviously to get to where Bennett could see him, but he stepped right behind Claire until his hands were resting on her shoulders and his entire chest was pressed up against her back. She had to figure he was just trying to stay out of Esme's way and leave space for the IV line hanging down between them and her, but Claire's heart stuttered out in a disjointed rhythm in response, and she wasn't even touching him. Her hands were still joined with Bennett's and Macy's and yet she felt like her back was on fire with him pressed against it but then suddenly wondered if that was just from his body heat.
"No, man. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. I'll be here when you wake up good as new." He said confidently and yet when he gently squeezed Claire's shoulders as he said it, she knew he was much more nervous for Bennett than he was letting on.
She suddenly realized that Carlisle hadn't said anything about Bennett potentially not being able to phase ever again and then realized he must have decided to wait until he had more definite answers after Bennett's surgery.
Bennett just looked at Quil in confusion for a second before he asked, "What about your sister? Isn't she having her baby today?"
"Yeah." Quil admitted with a shrug like he was trying to downplay it as not a big deal.
"…. And didn't she want you to be there because she was nervous about going under anesthesia?" Bennett asked with an almost loaded tone of voice and Claire suddenly felt like all the eyes in the room were on her until she realized they were all staring at Quil behind her as he held onto her waiting for his response.
He hesitated for a second and she knew he was just trying to think of an answer before he said, "…. You're going under anesthesia, Bennett, and I didn't knock my sister up… I did do this to you."
"Well, I certainly hope you didn't knock your sister up!" Bennett suddenly giggled reminding everyone that he was still a little too high for a serious conversation. Jacob and Collin both snorted and laughed around them as Quil shook his head from above Claire's head and she somehow knew he was smiling with that disbelief on his face before Bennett continued, "Besides, I'm good… look at all these people I've got here… how are you going to help me? Go be with your sister, she's the one who needs you today."
Quil shook his head again above Claire, but Carlisle suddenly chimed in to say, "Quil, I can assure you we have everything under control here if you have other family obligations you need to attend to."
She could feel Quil's tension as again he braced himself to refuse when Jacob suddenly said, "You should go, Quil."
She felt Quil look across the room in shock at Jacob at the exact same time she did. She'd expected Jacob to look pissed especially since he'd sounded so serious, but instead he just looked completely sincere when he continued, "If Hannah said she needs you today, then you need to be there." Quil suddenly sighed behind Claire, and he sounded like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders before Jake continued, "Besides it's not exactly looking like things are running super smoothly around here with you in the driver's seat… alpha-in-charge my ass….."
Quil growled a little as Bennett giggled again, making Claire smile in response. Normally Bennett would just chuckle or give a deep chuff of a simple, "ha!" the fact that he was giggling was entertaining as hell for her and she was just trying to find the good things to hold onto today.
When Quil took a step back, so he was no longer pushed against her but pulled just slightly on her left shoulder she turned to look over her shoulder at him as she faced to the side with her hands still connected to Bennett and Macy.
He didn't say anything, but it was clear he was asking her what she thought he should do as he looked at her uncertainly.
She just bit her lip and raised her eyebrows as she looked back at him, equally unsure.
It was the first time since they'd broken up that he actively sought out her input on an important decision and yet she wasn't sure she wanted to be consulted. She didn't know what she thought he should do, it seemed pretty important that he be present for the outcome of both surgeries.
After a few seconds of completely silent communication between them she simply shook her head the tiniest bit and she knew he understood that she meant it was up to him… he was a little bit screwed either way. Finally, after studying her face for a few more seconds, he furrowed his eyebrows and took a deep breath,
"Will you drive me?" he asked her with a quick yet weighted determination in his voice.
Claire's eyes widen in surprise as she considered having to drive to and from Seattle today while Bennett was in surgery. She bit her lip as she tried to think as quickly as possible and then nodded without ever breaking eye contact. Of course, she'd take him.
She barely caught the look of relief on his face like her answer alone gave him strength before she flipped around to look at Bennett beneath her.
"I'll be back before you wake up!" she swore to him. She didn't care if she had to drive ninety to a hundred miles per hour each way, she'd have the Camaro and she could do that. She'd risk any massive ticket to make sure she made it back to be there when he woke up and find out how the surgery went.
Bennett suddenly giggled again making Claire smile before he said to her hysterically, "Awww, look at that! My trauma bringing them back together and healing hearts! He's not being an asshole anymore, El Nino!"
"What did you give to him!?" Claire suddenly laughed as she looked at Dr. Cullen and Collin and Leah started laughing hard behind her and Bennett continued to giggle almost uncontrollably.
She felt Quil give a small chuckle behind her as he placed his hands on her hips from behind, he seemed like he was trying to stay out of the way but that he now refused to be beyond where he could continue to touch her which made sense given the stress level of their current situation.
Carlisle smiled at Claire as he nodded and then said, "It's probably a good time for us to get started while he's so relaxed and comfortable."
She suddenly looked down at Bennett more seriously in response, realizing this was probably her last chance to say anything to him before he woke up again. She swallowed as tears pooled in her eyes, he was still smiling but he looked over at her as he sighed happily, before she could think of what to say, he asked,
"Still my person?"
She smiled through her tears she tried to blink away when he let go of her hand to lift his again and then held out his pinky. She immediately wrapped her pinky around his. "Your person." She promised simply since she couldn't say anymore without her voice breaking and was grateful when Quil squeezed her hips with comfort though it was a little disconcerting when Macy suddenly pulled her hand away from Claire's.
Bennett smiled easily at Claire, and she did her best to return it, refusing to cry where he could see it.
"Good luck, brother. I'll be waiting to hear from you as soon as it's over." Quil suddenly said and Claire blew out a breath of relief when Bennett looked at him just as a tear leaked out and she suddenly pulled away her pinky from his to use both hands to quickly wipe at her face before softly holding onto his arm lying flat beside him in front of her.
"You're good, brother." Bennett assured him easily with a goofy smile like he might start giggling again, "Go say hi to my new niece-ephew"
Quil chuckled before he assured Bennett, "Nephew."
"Right, like I said." Bennett laughed.
"Good luck, Bennett!" Leah called from behind Quil.
Bennett giggled, "Thanks, Lee-Lee!"
Leah couldn't smother her laugh as she tried to warn seriously, "Hey…. Watch it!"
Everyone laughed again when Bennett suddenly looked concerned and tried to move his head to gauge how far away she was.
"See you on the other side, brother." Collin called easily from next to Leah.
"Shit, Collin! I'm not dying!" Bennett replied sounding annoyed as Claire laughed and heard Leah smack Collin's stomach behind her. "The 'other side', what the hell!?"
"Jeez! See you when you wake up!" Collin tried to correct.
Jacob suddenly stepped forward behind Macy and laid one of his huge hands on Bennett's almost equally huge shoulder before he said, "You're gonna do great, man."
Bennett sighed as he looked at him before he turned his attention to Macy, he smiled hugely at her in a way Claire had only seen him do once before while he made Claire drop his arm as he reached up and cupped Macy's cheek.
"I love you, beautiful girl." He said to Macy like he was completely happy and not at all scared, miserable, drugged, or strapped to plywood.
It made Claire's heart happy, and she smiled as she watched him so content and crossed her arms over her chest to help hold herself together. Macy's eyes were definitely overflowing as she used her free hand to hold his palm to her face with her hand wrapped around his wrist.
"I love you." She whispered back simply.
Claire's eyes started leaking again at the painful quiver in Macy's scared voice. Quil squeezed her hips again and pulled her back a little as he moved forward so he was pressed into her again, and she was suddenly so grateful again that he was so safe and secure, standing so strong behind her.
She didn't even want to imagine how hard this must be on Macy, and she had no idea what she would do if it was Quil strapped to a board about to be cut open and pieced back together again, as hard as it was for her to have Bennett go through it, she didn't even want to think about how it would feel if it were Quil…
"You ready?" Carlisle asked steadily as he seemed to loom over Bennett with the mask in his hand.
Bennett gave as much of a nod as he could around the brace around his neck as he continued to stare at Macy and offer her one last small smile before Carlisle placed the clear mask over his mouth and nose while Esme very stealthily moved around Claire and injected something right into his IV.
"Count down backwards from ten please, Bennett." He said with his same steady confident voice.
Bennett took a deep breath in before he began, "Ten, nine… eight…. Sev-"
His eyes had closed at eight and his entire body seemed to relax on the board so that Macy carefully place his hand back on the side of the board from where she'd been hunched over him so he could hold her face as he fell asleep.
The entire room seemed to sigh at once with a little relief.
He was out and he wouldn't be awake again until it was all over.
"Alrighty," Carlisle began happily, "Let's get this man off this board and prepped for surgery, shall we team?" he looked at everyone around him like they were all apart of some surgical team. When everyone stood around looking at each other in confusion Carlisle suddenly laughed and said, "I do apologize for the confusion! That's the cue to clear the room, we've got it from here!"
Everyone seemed relieved as they filed out of the room, leaving room for Esme, Carlisle, and Stephen who were already undoing the straps around Bennett, freeing him from the board. Jacob held the door open as Macy was finally the last person to file out of the room and then he shut it securely behind him.
"So, it begins." He said just a little dauntingly, "… Nothing to do now but wait…. Well," he corrected as he looked directly at Claire with Quil still holding her hips from behind her,
"You two better start booking it to Seattle."
*A.N.*
Seriously, I love this part and I can't wait to get the next chapter up, but before that, What did you think!? haha a sporadic couple thoughts from me, this is the first ever scene with any of the Cullens/twilight-vampires! What did you think? that was so fun for me to have them cross paths and write Claire's perspective on them! Also I just have to say I definitely wrote this chapter over a year ago way before any FRIENDS reunion and I thought that reference was so clever and original (Face palm emoji here) hahaha I'm so basic it's ridiculous. (Shrug emoji). Alright, that's it! Now back to the work for me but please come find me on socials and let me know what you think! You guys are the best! Thanks for reading!
xoxo, Jess