[Unknown Number]: hey there hot stuff
=NEW CONTACT CREATED=
Chloe: heard i should call u for a good time
Max: Wow. Ten seconds and I'm already regretting giving you my number. ;)
Chloe: ya well 11 seconds and ur already corrupting my shiny new phone with ur emoji crap
Max: Twelve seconds and you've already picked the most obnoxiously loud text tone you could find
Chloe: 13 sec and ur lock screen is already some lame b&w hipster photo
Max: Fourteen and it feels really good to be texting you again.
Chloe: 15 and its pretty cool that ur number is the first contact i added
Max: Sixteen and seeing your name next to a Seattle area code sorta makes me feel safe.
Chloe: 17 and im really glad im here with u
Max: Eighteen and so am I.
Chloe: 19 thank u for saving me
Max: Twenty you saved me, too. :*)
Chloe: 21 always
Chloe: AND NO EMOJI!
Kristen: Haha! Holy crap, do you have a type or what?
Max: What are you talking about?
Kristen: Come on. You know I'm talking about Chloe.
Max: What about her?
Kristen: It was totally the first thing I thought when I met her yesterday.
Kristen: I was like "Yup, makes sense. That girl is 100% Max's type".
Max: You did not! Cut it out!
Kristen: Uh-huh. You remember that time we watched the Scott Pilgrim movie and you ended up crashing at my place?
Max: Vaguely?
Kristen: Remember how you were all 'Oh, Ramona, I love your hair'?
Max: I never said that! :(
Kristen: I've got some bad news for you, friend o' mine.
Kristen: You talk in your sleep.
Chloe: what kind of arcane bullshit is this?
Chloe: how does anyone get anywhere in the city?
Max: Seattle public transit isn't that bad.
Chloe: the hell it isnt
Chloe: i just want to go downtown
Chloe: not sneak into fucking mordor
Max: cough*nerd*cough
Chloe: theres like a thousand buses
Chloe: back in arcadia bay we only had one!
Max: "Back in my day, we only had the one bus! And that's the way we liked it!"
Chloe: wow
Chloe: u cut me just now, max
Chloe: u cut me real deep
Chloe: hey u busy?
Kristen: Just doing homework.
Chloe: oh
Chloe: nvrmd
Kristen: It's calculus. Trust me, you'd be doing me a favor.
Chloe: its just id talk to max
Chloe: but shes taking a nap
Chloe: and i dont wanna wake her up
Chloe: and her parents r still at work
Chloe: so im kinda on my own
Kristen: Say no more. What's up, buttercup?
Kristen: Clo?
Kristen: Still there?
Chloe: i really miss my mom
[Incoming Call: Kristen]
Chloe: have u guys seen my thing?
Kristen: What thing?
Chloe: the thing i had the other day
Chloe: i put it somewhere
Chloe: and now i cant find it
Kristen: Lol! You're gonna have to be a little more specific, Clo.
Max: I'm pretty sure it's where I left that book I was reading.
Chloe: i already looked
Chloe: its not there
Max: No, the other book.
Chloe: 1 sec
Chloe: found it!
Max: Yay!
Kristen: You two are so weird.
Chloe: THERE WAS SOMETHING IN THE AIR THAT NIGHT!
Chloe: THE STARS WERE BRIGHT!
Fernando: Don't even.
Max: Have you walked past that antique store by the mall lately? They've got all these creepy old Santa dolls in the window display.
Chloe: they do?!
Chloe: i demand pics!
Max: [img/santas]
Max: I think they're supposed to be smiling but their faces look so weird.
Chloe: oh shit ur right!
Chloe: theres suspicious santa on the left
Chloe: and theres sketchy santa next to the little tree
Max: I bet that's why Suspicious Santa is suspicious. He knows Sketchy Santa is up to something.
Chloe: so does angry santa
Chloe: hes the one sketchy santa should really be worried about
Max: Angry Santa?
Chloe: the one on the sled in the middle
Chloe: hes my favorite
Chloe: hes the santa we deserve
Nana May: Hello, Maxine!
Max: Hi, Nana! Look at you, texting like one of us upstart young'uns!
Nana May: Oh, shush. Did you get the Christmas present I sent you?
Max: I sure did! Coziest scarf ever! (^_^)
Nana May: You and your silly emodgys.
Max: It's spelled emoji. :P
Nana May: Well, I still think that they're silly.
Max: Haha! First Chloe and now you! Everyone is ganging up on me!
Nana May: That's right. Your mother told me your old friend from Arcadia Bay was staying with you.
Nana May: That poor thing. What happened was so awful. How is she holding up?
Max: She's doing alright, considering. I'm just trying to be there for her.
Nana May: I'm glad. She's lucky to have a friend like you.
Max: Actually, there's something I need to tell you about. Is it okay if I call you?
Nana May: Of course! I've always got time for my favorite granddaughter.
Max: Okay. You should probably sit down.
Chloe: hey max?
Chloe: u there
Chloe: max
Chloe: max
Chloe: max
Max: I was in class!
Chloe: sorry
Max: It's fine. I've got lunch now. What did you need?
Chloe: i just wanted to remind u that u blush like crazy when ur turned on
Chloe: so while ur at school
Chloe: u probably shouldnt think about what we did last night
Chloe: or early this morning
Chloe: twice
Max: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!
Max: SOMEONE THOUGHT I WAS CHOKING!
Max: THEY TRIED TO GIVE ME THE HEIMLICH!
Chloe: ill meet u there right after work ok?
Max: Sounds good. :)
Chloe: no
Chloe: WHAT THE FUCK
Max: Do my eyes deceive me? Have you finally seen the light? :D
Chloe: NO
Chloe: THAT WASNT ME
Chloe: IT WAS MY PHONE
Chloe: I DIDNT DO THAT
Chloe: I DONT USE
Max: Looks like you do now!
Chloe: THIS WAS U!
Chloe: WHAT DID U DO?
Max: You might want to check your autocorrect settings, babe.
Chloe: i swear to god max
Chloe: ur lucky i u
Chloe: NO!
Max: ;)
Chloe: oh my god
Chloe: that french toast u made this morning was so good
Chloe: i burped earlier and it was so tasty i just swallowed it again
Mrs. C: Thank you?
Kristen: Those reporters are still camped out on your lawn, right?
Chloe: sure are
Chloe: fucking vultures
Kristen: Don't worry, I got this.
Chloe: what?
Kristen: Just wait for it.
Chloe: wait for what?
Chloe: hahaha omfg!
Chloe: you did this?
Chloe: [img/front_yard]
Kristen: Yes, I did.
Chloe: how the fuck did you get a bunch of dudes with bagpipes over here?
Kristen: My cousin Derek is super into the whole Highland Games thing. I told him what was happening to you guys and he called around. Turns out one of local pipe bands felt like doing a little outdoor practice.
Chloe: the news fuckers are losing it!
Chloe: thank u!
Chloe: max sez thank u too!
Kristen: Come on, Clo. You guys know I got your back.
Chloe: theyre all so angry!
Chloe: i think theyre yelling but no one can hear them!
Chloe: max is laughing so hard she fell over!
Chloe: holy shit they just started playing final countdown this is fucking awesome!
Chloe: u wont believe this
Chloe: cody was doing intake gaskets on a v6 mustang today right?
Chloe: so he finally finishes and fires it up but guess what?
Chloe: he left some green shop rags in the engine valley
Max: And that's...bad?
Chloe: hella bad
Chloe: looks like someone shredded kermit the frog in there
Chloe: [img/engine]
Max: And now the Muppets are ruined forever. :*(
Chloe: i didnt know!
Chloe: why didnt anyone tell me?!
Fernando: About what?
Chloe: [img/poutine]
Fernando: Ah, yes. Canada's gift to the world.
Fernando: That just the New York Fries stuff, though. Just wait until you try the real thing.
Chloe: this isnt the real thing?
Fernando: Dude. You've got no idea.
Max: I'm not going to be able to meet you guys this afternoon. I actually don't think I should go outside at all.
Kristen: Feeling sick?
Max: Not exactly. Chloe took me to a show last night. A punk band she heard about called Bloody Bootstraps.
Kristen: At the risk of enabling your inner hipster, I've never heard of them.
Max: They were pretty good. Super loud, though. My ears are still ringing! :/
Kristen: Lol. Is that why you're not coming out?
Max: No, that's because I have a black eye. A really nasty one, too.
Kristen: SOMEONE PUNCHED YOU?!
Max: Chloe did, but she totally didn't mean to! She was aiming for some perv who groped me in the mosh pit and hit me by accident. She's really upset about it. :*(
Kristen: Wut.
Max: Don't worry! It all turned out okay! There were these big biker dudes who grabbed the guy and totally threw him out. A few people even stopped jumping around to make sure I was okay. They were so sweet! :D
Kristen: WUT.
Max: Chloe says that's 'mosh pit etiquette'.
Kristen: WUT?!
Max: I know! I never thought I'd hear her use the word etiquette, either! :P
Chloe: heya bossman
Chloe: dont forget that its my b-day on the 11th
Rick (El Jefe): I already gave you the time off you asked for.
Chloe: just making sure
Chloe: me and the gf are going up to canada
Rick (El Jefe): Good for you.
Chloe: just sayin
Chloe: u know the legal drinking age up there is nineteen?
Rick (El Jefe): I'm aware.
Chloe: were going bar hopping
Chloe: its gonna be great!
Rick (El Jefe): Again, good for you.
Rick (El Jefe): Don't party too hard.
Chloe: whoa now ur not the boss of me
Rick (El Jefe): Pretty sure that's exactly what I am.
Chloe: ya, well
Chloe: ur not the boss of me in canada
Chloe: my hair is blonde
Chloe: y is my hair blonde?
Chloe: and y do i think ur to blame?
Mr. C: April Fools!
Mr. C: You were born blonde, remember?
Chloe: and i changed it to blue
Mr. C: Well, at least it'll be easy to re-color. No harm done.
Chloe: oh is that right?
Mr. C: Won't it? Like you said, you went from blonde to blue before.
Chloe: from natural blonde
Chloe: not bleach blonde
Mr. C: Is there a difference?
Chloe: yes
Chloe: there is
Mr. C: Oh.
Mr. C: So, exactly how much trouble am I in?
Chloe: ill see u when u get home ryan
Mr. C: What does that mean?
Mr. C: Chloe?
Mr. C: Chloe, I'm sorry!
Max: You shouldn't have done that.
Dad: Is this about Chloe's hair?
Dad: It was just a joke!
Dad: How upset is she?
Dad: Max?
Dad: Max, please answer me.
Vanessa: Where are you? It's almost dinnertime.
Ryan: I think I made a huge mistake.
Vanessa: What's wrong?
Vanessa: Did something happen at work? Are you alright?
Ryan: I played an April Fools prank on Chloe. I don't think she took it very well.
Vanessa: That's because no one likes being pranked, Ryan. I'm sure she's not as upset as you think she it.
Ryan: She didn't seem upset. She seemed really calm and now I'm a little scared to come home.
Vanessa: What could have possibly done that's so bad?
Ryan: [img/convo_screencap]
Ryan: Vanessa?
Ryan: Sweetheart?
Vanessa: I just talked to Chloe.
Ryan: And?
Vanessa: Can I be your lawyer for a second?
Ryan: I don't like the sound of that.
Vanessa: Come home right now and throw yourself on the mercy of the court.
Ryan: Seriously?
Vanessa: It's that or sleep with one eye open. Because if Chloe doesn't get you for this, Max definitely will.
Vanessa: So, are you planning on sleeping in the car tonight?
Ryan: Maybe I am.
Vanessa: Considering how much you love April Fools, you sure can't take a joke.
Ryan: You're all terrible people!
Ryan: I was afraid for my life!
Vanessa: Come on, Ryan. It's not as though you've got the high ground here. You're just lucky Chloe knows what peroxide smells like, or you're really have been in trouble.
Vanessa: Now come back inside. Your dinner is getting cold.
Vanessa: Also, Chloe says she wants to laugh at you some more.
Ryan: Thank you. That's very compelling.
Vanessa: Oh, cut it out, you big baby.
Vanessa: You tried to play a prank and got pranked yourself. Get over it.
Ryan: Monsters, all of you.
Vanessa: We love you, too.
Chloe: which is just a big pile of bullshit
Chloe: so im like listen here jackass
Chloe: just cause im doing my ged at 19
Chloe: instead of going to some fancy university
Chloe: doesnt mean im a fucking idiot
Chloe: so why don't u take ur fucking bachelors degree
Chloe: and shove it right up ur ass
Chloe: before i do it for u
Chloe: fucking people like that
Chloe: drives me nuts
Chloe: u know what i mean?
Fernando: Ma'am, this is a Wendy's.
Chloe: ok smart guy thats only gonna be funny like 3 or 4 more times
Chloe: im dying
Chloe: im sure of it
Chloe: my lungs are on fire
Chloe: pls remember me when im gone
Max: Aww... Is Mom being mean to you?
Chloe: theres a bright light, babe
Chloe: im going into the light
Max: You're the one who said you wanted to get in better shape. :P
Chloe: DONT EMOJI AT THE DYING!
Chloe: u have the sexiest butt
Chloe: sometimes i just wanna bite it
Mr. C: That's sweet, Chloe, but I'm spoken for.
Chloe: oh god no
Chloe: im so sorry!
Mr. C: I assume that message wasn't intended for me?
Chloe: of course not!
Mr. C: Probably meant for Max, right?
Chloe: yes!
Chloe: ur name is right next to hers!
Mr. C: I see.
Mr. C: And is that how you usually speak to my daughter?
Chloe: IM SO SORRY!
Max: Why is Chloe scared of you?
Dad: Chloe is what?
Max: Scared. Of you. I told her you were bringing Chinese food home for dinner, and she asked me to just bring a plate upstairs for her.
Max: She also wants me to get you to taste it first?
Dad: That last bit seems a little excessive.
Max: What did you do?
Dad: Why do you think I did something?
Max: :(
Dad: Fine.
Dad: [img/convo_screencap]
Dad: Forgive me for wanting to get her back for April Fools.
Dad: She'll be fine.
Max: Okay, I'm going to give you two options here. The first is that you apologize to my girlfriend and promise never to do it again.
Dad: Uh-huh. And the second?
Max: You don't apologize, and dinner tonight features a detailed presentation about me, my girlfriend, my butt, and the interactions between all three.
Max: And in case you think I don't have the guts, remember that I'd be doing it for Chloe.
Dad: I see.
Dad: Apology it is, then.
Vanessa: You just never learn, do you?
Ryan: Apparently not.
Ryan: Still love me?
Vanessa: Always and forever, you big dummy.
Kristen: Guilty on all charges. Looks like that prick will be going away for a long time.
Max: Yeah.
Kristen: It's not enough, is it?
Max: Never could be.
Chloe: theres something u need to see
Max: Can it wait?
Chloe: no this is too important
Max: Lunch just ended and I don't want to be late for class.
Chloe: its a slo mo video of a dude getting sacked by a dog chasing a ball
Max: Okay I guess I can be a little late.
Kristen: Hey, Chloe isn't responding to my texts. Or Fernando's.
Kristen: Is she sick or something?
Kristen: If she is, I'm prepared to either bring her chicken soup or make fun about how whiney she is. Your call.
Kristen: Max?
Max: Don't know
Kristen: You don't know what?
Max: If she's sick
Max: But I think she might be
Kristen: What are you talking about?
Max: I think she's really really sick.
Kristen: Max?
Kristen: Max, are you still there?
Kristen: I'm trying to call you.
Kristen: Max, please pick up.