Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
"You just signed your death warrant, Blaine Anderson.", Kurt said for the hundredth time, shaking his head while they were driving towards the meeting place of the drug dealer gang two days later. It was already eleven pm, and since Blaine's parents weren't home anyway, he didn't have to sneak out.
Why did people always have to repeat all the bad things that happened to Blaine lately?
Blaine sighed deeply. "I know, I know. But what else am I supposed to do?"
Kurt let out a scoff. "Maybe tell everyone the truth?"
"That's out of question!"
"And why, Anderson?" Kurt shortly looked at him before he concentrated on the road in front of him again. "Just because of that Meerkat?"
Blaine threw him a killing glance. "Don't ever dare calling him like that ever again", he hissed. "Sebastian is just awesome, and just because you are jealous of him and his life, you don't need to…"
At that, Kurt laughed shortly. "Jealous of Sebastian? You are kidding me, right? I hate that guy!"
"Because you are jealous of him?"
Kurt started scowling and gritted his teeth angrily. "Sebastian is the most obnoxious person I have ever met. Once he even…" He didn't end that sentence and bit his lower lip. "You know what? Just forget it, Bledward."
"Forget what?" What he had said had piqued Blaine's curiosity. "Do you and Sebastian have a prehistory? Were you boyfriends or something?"
"Heavens, no!" Kurt looked downright disgusted. "As if I would ever …Oh my god, you are driving me crazy!" He was still looking disturbed about Blaine's theory. "You are grossing me out, Anderson."
Wow, Blaine had never seen someone hate another person like Kurt seemed to hate Sebastian. But he was determined to find out what had happened between them in the past one day.
"Okay, okay, I take it back", he said appeasedly. In order to change the topic, Blaine pointed at big selection of firecrackers of all sizes on the backseat. "What do you need those for?", he asked, genuinely interested. Because seriously, Kurt didn't look like that kind of person that liked fireworks, no offence.
Kurt shrugged. "Those aren't mine, my stepbrother bought them because he and his brainless friends want to blow up a deserted lodge or something. He wants to hide them from our parents, so he just put them into my car without asking first."
Blaine nodded. "You never told me you have a stepbrother. Do I know him?"
At that moment, Kurt turned to the right and parked his Navigator behind a giant tree. "There we are, Anderson", he said solemnly, not answering Blaine's question. A cold shiver was running down Blaine's spine when he spotted the abandoned shack.
"And what now?", Blaine asked anxiously.
Kurt rolled his eyes. "You are going to spy on them, just like we have planned it. Hide somewhere, take notes and…you know, the usual spying stuff. Find out their weaknesses that you could use against them. And make sure you don't get caught if you don't want to die yet."
Blaine gulped and closed his eyes, counting until ten. 'I'm only doing this for you, Sebastian', he thought to himself. He took a deep breath and got out of the car.
"Don't you want to come with me?", he asked the other boy who had stayed put.
At that, Kurt just laughed scornfully. "Other than you, I want to celebrate my twenty-first birthday, preferably still alive."
Blaine nodded. "I understand." He then started walking towards the shack. "Wish me lu-"
Before he could end his sentence, however, he could hear the engine of the car, and when he turned around, he saw that Kurt had started driving away. "Have a nice life, Anderson!", he shouted before he sped away.
Stunned, Blaine stared after him. He always thought that Kurt and he were starting to become something like…friends. But apparently, he was wrong. Too bad, having a friend here in Lima would have been nice.
Whatever.
He was here only for one reason: Because he wanted to find out the weaknesses of his possible opponents, leave afterwards and come up with a plan on how he could fake that he defeated those men with his 'vampire powers' , of course without dirtying his hands. Okay, those were three reasons, but let's don't be petty.
Hopefully, Cooper would be so kind to pick him up afterwards after Kurt left (how could he? Worst partner in crime ever) because he really doubted that cabs would drive to this place. Blaine retrieved his phone and sent Cooper a short text, hoping that he wasn't about to have sex with another woman right now and wouldn't check his texts.
'Get you act together, Anderson', he thought to himself when he started sneaking towards the shack and took cover behind a tree. Inside, he could hear how people were conversing in Spanish, and unfortunately, Blaine's Spanish was more than rusted, he barely understood anything.
When he dared peeking into one of the windows, he saw how brawny, tan men were smoking pot and drinking Tequila (or rather downing Tequila shots as if it was water. Seriously, were their livers out of steel?)
Packs full of suspicious white powder were lying in the center of the table while more than a dozen men were conversing loudly and aggressively.
Oh boy.
This was way worse than expected. Those guys looked so buff that they made Arnold Schwarzenegger look like a pathetic weakling. Tattoos of bullheads, skulls and crossbones were on their bi- and triceps, their scowls made clear that it was no good idea to mess with them. Okay, that was it. Blaine gave up. There was no way he could find out the weaknesses of those guys because there were none, easy as that. Besides, he was sure that they needed to be armed to the teeth, and he was even afraid of water pistols after a traumatic incident involving Cooper and his stupid friends ten years ago.
He was about to turn around and leave, thinking that he could maybe curl up on the sofa in his living room and rewatch Breakfast at Tiffany's and accept that he would probably die alone instead of risking his life just because of a crush, but suddenly, he heard Katy Perry's Teenage Dream blare from the loudspeakers of – his phone, on full blast.
Blaine was convinced that his heart would stop beating any moment. With trembling hands, he retrieved the device, spotting Cooper's stupid face on his display. Great, now that he didn't need him, he called him? Normally, Cooper never called him back. He immediately declined the call, but it was already too late.
The guys looked out of the window, narrowing their eyes when they spotted him. Blaine's eyes widened in shock.
Shit.
"Erm…lo siento?", he said tentatively, hoping that he didn't make any mistakes. "No hablo español", he added when the guys were still gazing at him as if he was an alien. Dammit, why did he take French and Latin as foreign languages instead of Spanish?
"What the fuck are you doing here, kid?", one of the men growled with a strong accent.
Blaine rubbed his neck, embarrassed. "I…I wanted to go to a nightclub, I think I … I took the wrong directio-" Just at this moment, his brain remembered that he should better get lost, so he turned around and broke into a run.
Behind him, men were yelling something in Spanish, and according to the steps, they were following him, and they were coming closer and closer. Luckily for Blaine, they didn't seem to be that sober anymore, and tripped every now and then, or else, he would be dead meat by now. But he was aware that it was only a matter of time until they would outrun him.
Dammit, what was he supposed to do now?
Just when he thought that it was over, something small behind him suddenly blew up, and Blaine tripped, startled by the shock.
When he turned around, he noticed that the men that had been chasing him were lying on the ground, not that far away from him, but far enough to not get hit by the small explosion himself.
Crackling of leaves could be heard, and Blaine stiffened. Was it one of the bad guys? Game over. Too bad, he still didn't write down his last will. Who would take care of Lloyd, his goldfish once he was dead? And who would get his beloved DVD collection of musicals? Or the password to his Netflix account? Or...
"Calm down, Anderson, it's only me", a familiar voice said, sounding annoyed, almost bored.
Blaine sighed a breath of relief and turned around with a smile. "Kurt? I thought you didn't want to die yet?" Well, seemed like he underestimated his partner in crime.
"I don't, but I don't want to explain your dead body to your parents either", Kurt shrugged. He was holding small firecrackers in his hands, so it must have been him who had thrown them at the bad guys. "Come on, Bledward. They only have second degree burns because those firecrackers are only harmless compared to their creepily disproportionate muscles. They will wake up soon and be mad as hell." He tugged him away by the hand, and Blaine followed him numbly. They should better put some miles between themselves and those guys before they came to and would do horrible things to them.
But there was one thing he needed to say out loud.
"Admit it, you already like me, right?", Blaine joked while they were running.
Kurt just rolled his eyes and elegantly jumped over a tree trunk. "Not in the slightest. But if you die, I won't get my fake date for the wedding, and that would be disadvantagous."
Blaine smiled goofily. "I don't buy your icy façade, Kurt. You do indeed have a heart of gold, but you try everything to hide it."
"Believe what you want", Kurt answered harshly, sounding disinterested. "But I still don't like you."
"'Whither are thou rushing?", a deep voice suddenly said, and the boys stopped in their tracks, exchanging scared glances. A Mexican man came walking towards them slowly, a knife in his hands (well, at least, he doesn't seem to have a gun, Blaine thought. Not that the knife was awesome, but still...) He looked by far brawnier than the ones Blaine had seen in the shack, so he must be their leader or something, and according to his scowl, they had pissed him off. Crap. "What have you sons of bitches done to my men!?" Even though he was slurring a bit, he could still stand upright, kind of. Whether they could use his drowsiness to their advantage?
A short exchange of glances with Kurt seemed to confirm that he was thinking the same.
"They were pretty impolite, Sir", Kurt said matter-off-factly, and Blaine elbowed him to silence him. What the hell was that boy doing? That was certainly the fastest way for them to get killed.
The man pointed the knife at the boys threateningly. "You kids made a big mistake, and you are going to pay. I'm telling you, I'm gonna slice you up like sticks and serve you to my pitbulls. I'm sure they will be happy about young, soft flesh."
When he wanted to come closer, Kurt retrieved something from his pocket. "Well, the prospect of ending up as dog treat is...let's say, unedifying, so you better stay away", he said firmly, holding the taser to his direction. "Don't make a wrong movement, I'm serious."
"Where the hell did you get that one from?", Blaine asked him incredulously.
"I borrowed it from my stepmother without her knowing about it", Kurt muttered with a shrug.
The criminal looked at them unimpressedly. "I bet you don't even know how that thing works, kid, right?"
"I don't think you want to find out", Blaine said, craning his chin and hoping that Kurt knew what he was doing, or else they were both going to be dead in a couple of seconds, and thrown to this man's dog. Yuck.
Much to their surprise, the man started smiling at them and dropped his knife. "You boys are endearing." As quick as a flash, or so it seemed to Blaine, he came closer – and snatched the taser out of Kurt's hands in no time who stared at him in shock.
"What the hell?", the latter one exclaimed, stunned.
"I knew it", the Latino laughed while he played with the taser. "You kids are nothing more than a joke. And you are starting to annoy me." Before they could even blink, he had punched Kurt in the face who reeled back and fell down due to the impact.
"Hey, that hurt!", Kurt yelled, holding his right eye. "How dare you? How am I ever going to make it big if my fabulous face is ruined?"
"Narcissist", Blaine muttered under his breath.
Kurt sat up and looked up to him, glaring. "What did you just say?", he growled dangerously.
To be honest, Blaine had no idea whether to be more afraid of that pissed goon on their opposite or of one fed up chestnut-haired boy. "Nothing, nothing", he said to Kurt.
When the criminal came closer this time, Blaine couldn't help but think about the Sadie Hawkins incident back then. Back then, he had been powerless. He had been too scared to defend himself and let those idiots beat the crap out of him.
But not tonight.
He had sworn to himself that he would not let it happen again.
As the goon came closer and closer, Blaine didn't think twice, and kicked him in the crotch with all he had. The man, suprised about the blow, screamed like a small girl and fell to his knees. "You fucking son of a bitch!", he screeched angrily, breathing and squirming like a woman who's about to give birth to twins. "But don't worry, if I go down, you will go the hell down with me, you little piece of shit!" Before they even could blink, he had already hit Blaine with the taser while he fell to the ground, defeated.
Blaine started screaming as well and fell down as he couldn't feel his body anymore due to the shock.
"I can't move!", he shouted, terrified.
In the meantime, Kurt had gotten up slowly and looked at the guys on the ground, crossing his arms amusedly. His right eye was swollen and he had a split lip, but he didn't seem to care that much about it. "The biggest dork in the world and a drug dealer lying on the ground, defeated. How interesting", he muttered, his perfidious smile came back to his bruised face. "Why do I feel weirdly satisfied?"
Upon hearing that sentence, Blaine could only shake his head. "You do have a problem, are you aware of that? Just do something now!"
Sighing melodramatically, Kurt walked over to the man who was still pretty busy with holding his best piece, picked up the taser and tased the man until he passed out. "That's for ruining my fabulous face. Tomorrow, I'm going to have a lot of work to do to cover it up", he hissed angrily, still holding his black eye.
Blaine felt how the feeling in his arms slowly returned and propped himself up, furrowing his eyebrows. "I think we just defeated the drug gang's boss plus all of his men." He just couldn't believe it.
"Yes, we did", Kurt agreed, and for a split second, he was even smiling genuinely, but it was gone as quick as it came, and maybe, Blaine just imagined it. Kurt retrieved a handkerchief from his pocket and wiped away the blood from the bruise on his face. "I thought your superficial friends wanted a photo where you show them you defeated those people. What are you still waiting for?"
With a grin, Blaine looked up to him. "This is going to be so great; Sebastian is so going to love me for that", he gushed, and Kurt's face expression darkened. "I don't want to hear that heinous name ever again, or next time, you are going to fight shady drug dealers all alone, are we clear?"
Blaine nodded slowly. "Okay, okay, I got it."
"Good. Now get up so that we can get this over with, I want to go home", he commanded while he carefully touched the bruises under his eye.
"Yeah, about that…" Blaine looked down sheepishly and pointed at his legs he still couldn't feel. "I think I need your help with that. When exactly do you think will the paralysis wear off?"
Kurt groaned, annoyed, and rolled his eyes, or rather just his left, uninjured eye. "You really are a pain in the neck, Anderson. And that's why I waste my time?" With that, he turned on his heel and strutted towards the direction where he had parked the car.
Blaine anxiously looked around in the pitch black forest. Whether there were bloodthirsty wolves, or bears at that forest? Now that he couldn't move, he was going to be easy prey. "Kurt, come back! You can't just leave me behind!", he whined, dragging himself after the other boy and gripping Kurt's ankle before he could leave. "I'm way too young to die! Plus I still didn't win over Sebastian!"
He could hear how Kurt let out a scoff, and for some weird reason, Blaine needed to smile. With a derogative face expression, Kurt looked down to him and snapped: "How about you use your oh-so great vampire powers to beam yourself home, or better, into the Meerkat's bed? And while you're at it, you could also miraculously conjure up brains you could distribute at McKinley. Oh, if you got one of those brains as well, it would be great."