Sam and Eileen leave for a hunt the day Dean and Jack leave for their road trip.
Sam has been dying to do something. Archiving and organizing everything in the bunker with Jack had been therapeutic at first, but soon Sam was getting cabin fever from never going anywhere further than Walmart. But Sam also knew Dean wasn't ready to hunt again. Dean hadn't brought up trying to find a job, and Sam knew if he did, Dean would say he wanted to go when he really didn't. So they hadn't gone hunting. Besides, Sam's priority is getting Dean and Jack better. Dean has been there Sam's whole life, so Sam doesn't mind returning the favor. He loves his brother after all and only wants the best for him.
He's glad Dean and Jack are getting to spend time together. They need to. Sam just hopes Dean finally gets some perspective and apologizes to Jack for some of the shit he's done. Sam doubts it, though. He's never seen Dean in such a low place before. He isn't handling Cas' death well. Dean didn't even really tell Sam what had happened.
Just, "The Empty came and took him."
Whenever Sam pressed for more information, Dean shut down. But the road trip with Jack should be good for him.
The hunt Sam and Eileen go on turns out to be a simple salt and burn, but it's what Sam needs. He's finally getting back on his feet. Eileen has been the biggest lifesaver. She was there when Sam wasn't sure how to help Dean and Jack. Hell, she helped him when he didn't know how to help himself. The hunt is refreshing, and Sam hasn't felt this motivated to keep hunting in years.
But, as they're driving back to the bunker, Eileen gets a call from a few hunter friends who need her help. Sam offers to come with her, but Eileen says they're slow to trust, and it would be easier if she went by herself. But before she tells them yes, she turns to Sam and signs,
"Do you need me to stay?"
Sam shakes his head. "I'll be okay for a few days."
She raises her eyebrows. "Are you sure?"
Sam gives her a reassuring smile. "Yes, I'm sure." He leans in and kisses her nice and slow. He pulls back just far enough for her to see him say, "Just come back, okay?"
She grins. "Okay." And kisses him.
But he's not okay without her. He really thought he was getting back on his feet, but he's only been back at the bunker for a few hours and can't stand being alone. It's too quiet. He thinks about calling Dean but doesn't. He doesn't want to bother Dean while he's out having a good time with Jack.
So Sam heads into the kitchen for something to do. He opens the refrigerator with a grimace. Now he wishes he didn't stop buying beer. He didn't realize how much of a coping mechanism drinking was until he didn't have the option to drink anymore.
Instead, Sam makes a cup of coffee. He can tell he won't be getting much sleep tonight anyway. He heads into the library with his steaming mug. He's almost finished organizing this section of the bunker. He can probably finish tonight. Sam sits down beside the pile of "to be organized" boxes with a sigh. He takes a sip of coffee. He should've added more sugar. He pulls at the box closest to him and stops.
The word "Angels" is written in Cas' handwriting on the top. Sam had forgotten. He delegated all the angel lore to Cas because most of the lore was wrong anyway, and Cas said he'd be willing to correct it and even add more information. Unexpected tears spring up in Sam's eyes. Shit. He misses Cas.
Sam isn't that good at making friends. That's more Dean's thing. Everyone they meet usually becomes closer to Dean than him. Cas is no exception, but Cas is Sam's best friend. Hell, Sam sees Cas as his second brother. And Sam knows Cas felt the same. Cas had seen Sam at his absolute worst and continued to stand by Sam's side and vice versa. Cas knows things about Sam that even Sam's closest friends never knew. The only other person that isn't family that Sam can picture himself being that close to is Eileen.
Sam stares at Cas' handwriting. Tears fall down his face. He knew Cas for over a decade. The only other person outside of his family he's known longer than that is Bobby. Cas really was family. Sam attempts to wipe the tears from his face, but he can't. He only really cried over Cas once.
When Dean and Jack had locked themselves in their rooms, Sam had no idea what to do. So he called Eileen. He told her what was happening and couldn't stop the tears then. He knows she wasn't catching everything he was saying, but she listened anyway. When Cas came up in his nearly-hysterical rant, he lost it. He didn't even say anything for a good ten minutes. He just cried. Eileen came by the next day. She's so good to him.
And now Sam's crying again. He misses his best friend. Everything would be okay if Cas was here. They could all be happy.
Am I sure there's no way to bring him back?
The thought catches Sam off-guard, and he stops crying. They didn't really look for a way to bring Cas back. There really isn't one. But… Sam quickly stands up. He has to check. He just has to make sure. He'll let it go once he knows for sure there are zero possibilities to bring Cas back.
A few hours later, Sam is still working. He thinks he's found something.