This takes place during Season 5, Episode 10. Obviously, I am changing everything, but only because this story got stuck in my head and wouldn't let go. This is my second overall fan fiction, and it's my first for Big Bang. Please leave reviews, they give me motivation! Thank you!

*Chapter 1*

Penny was making dinner. Looking down at her pathetic attempts at being an adult, she grimaced. Dinner, once again, was a can of soup. Unfortunately, it was the only thing she could afford this week. Tips hadn't been the best lately at the Cheesecake Factory, and let's face it, her acting career wasn't exactly making her a whole lot these days. Or ever. She lifted her head when she heard someone approaching her door. (The walls and doors were thin in this building, and sounds carried a little too easily for her liking.) History had taught her that there are only a couple of friends who'll randomly stop by, and it didn't take a genius to narrow it down to one person based off of the sound of his footsteps. She quickly turned down the heat on the stove and started walking towards the door.

(Knock, knock, knock) "Who do we love?" She called in response to his knocks.

"Penny"

(Knock, knock, knock) "Who do we love?" She called a bit louder.

"Penny"

(Knock, knock, knock) "Who do we love?" She practically yelled through the door while doing her best not to laugh.

"Penny"

Penny waited until he was finished before opening the door to see him standing there in his "Batman" t-shirt and signature chinos. She smiled brightly to make sure he knew she was just teasing him. "Hello Sheldon, come on in." Penny invited him happily into her little apartment. She turned at headed back to stir her soup, she didn't want to burn it again. Goodness only knows what her wackadoodle friend wanted this time, but she didn't care, he was sweet, and as long as he didn't push her over the edge with his unintentional insults, she would do her best to help him out with whatever it was.

"Thank you." she heard him reply over her shoulder.

"What's up?"

"I came to ask if you would like to go on a date with me."

Her mind went blank and she sputtered "I'm sorry, what?"

"A date. You and me. Dining, dancing, perhaps you'd like to take in a prizefight?" He replied with a barely noticeable smile.

Did he think she was stupid? She knew what he was doing, and she was hard pressed not to be offended. "God, are you trying to make Amy jealous?"

Sheldon had known Penny for quite some time now, and knew that she was waiting for him to shout 'Bazinga'. Little did she know that he was completely serious. He needed to play his cards carefully, so if she declined, he could play it off like it didn't hurt his feelings. He never wanted to guilt Penny into dating him like Leonard did. He had always hated that, and hated what Leonard had put Penny through over the years. "No. Why is everyone so obsessed with Amy and Stuart? And whether or not they may be having more pumpkin lattes, or intercourse tonight?"

Penny mentally sighed. He just didn't get it. Granted, he didn't 'get' most social interactions, but still. "Okay, listen to me. Playing games is not gonna help get Amy back."

"I'm not trying to get her back. I'm trying to determine exactly how I feel. My emotions are all out of sync, and I need to sort it all out so I can go back to focusing on my work."

Penny rolled her eyes. It was just like Sheldon to come up with the weirdest way of dealing with his feelings. "How is the two of us going on a date going to help you figure out your feelings for Amy?"

"I'm glad you asked, Penny!" Sheldon sat down in his spot on her couch. He set his hands in his lap and looked over to the kitchen where she was stirring what he deduced must be her dinner. Based off the containers that littered her coffee table, he knew it had been a slow week at work, and she was low on money again. He would offer to loan her some, but she'd made it clear that unless she was really desperate, she didn't want to borrow money. It drove him crazy, because she was his best friend, and he wanted her to be healthy and happy. After all, he had plenty of money, and didn't mind helping her out one bit. He would need to give some thought to how he could help without her knowing. "To clarify, this is not about me figuring out my feelings for Amy, it's about figuring out my feelings regarding Amy and Stuart dating. It started when Leonard, Raj, and Wolowitz kept talking about it and asking if I was jealous. The very idea is preposterous. I am concerned about Amy, I have deduced that this relationship is doomed to failure. I know she was seeking a romantic relationship with me, but I only see her as a friend. I don't want her to get hurt, but I don't know how to relay that information to her without hurting either of them in the process."

Penny turned off the stove and poured her soup into a bowl, then stuck it in the microwave to stay warm. She walked over and sat down next to him. "Sweetie, it's great that you are trying so hard not to hurt their feelings, but what does any of this have to do with us going out on a date?"

"Well, while trying to figure out how to stop Amy and Stuart from going down a path that can only lead to ruin, it got me thinking about relationships. As you know, I have never held romantic relations in high regard, but what most people fail to realize is that I still have normal human urges. I just repress them in the name of academia. What has me puzzled however, is that there are many other scientists and Nobel Prize Laureates that have all had successful romantic endeavors and still managed to be at the top of their fields. I was always under the belief that having a romantic liaison would detract from my goals, but I'm curious to see if instead, they might enhance them. The premise is that since I have these unwanted urges, if I instead pacify them, I can divert the brain power and energy I'm putting into repressing them, into my work instead." He was very pleased with his reasoning, and hoped it would convince her to acquest to going on a date with him.

Penny was tired, and trying to translate 'Sheldon speak' is hard to do on an empty stomach. "Okay, I think I got it. Basically, you are saying that instead of fighting so hard not to want basic human interaction, you are going to try to satisfy your need for sex so you can focus on work? But I'm still confused, what does this have to do with me, and how does it correlate with Amy and Stuart dating?"

Sheldon tried not to grab at his hair in frustration. It was a habit that has been very hard to control over the years, especially around Penny, who very often made him want to pull his hair out. That is one of the many reasons she had to agree to this. "Penny, it's very simple. I can't stop thinking about Amy and Stuart and why they insist on attempting a romantic relationship with one another. I can't focus on my work. Then, thinking about them, made me think about other relationships and the statistic likelihood of them lasting. I began to plot equations on my white board of all the relationships our group has, both friendships paradigms and romantic paradigms. To make sure my calculations were precise, I also included failed relationships. My calculations had led me to one main conclusion. I am jealous."

Penny thumped her head back on the couch. "And we're back to square one." She lifted her head and leveled him with a frustrated glare "Sheldon, I am hungry, my soup is probably cold, and I'm going to have to reheat it. Why would you lead me through all this explanation if you were just going to tell me that? You said you weren't jealous! Just ask her out already."

Sheldon looked down at his hands. Admitting this was extremely difficult, but he knew she was the only one who would understand, the only one who wouldn't make fun of him. He had to make her understand. He closed his eyes and clenched his hands. "I'm jealous that they are able to have a relationship at all, that they can still complete their work, and have time for each other. I'm jealous that they are able to compartmentalize enough to have both. Beverly has informed me that by trying to ignore my biological urges, I am actually holding myself back from my full potential. I scoffed at first, but science doesn't lie. The math doesn't lie. I know people think I'm a robot, or an alien, and to a certain extent I helped to cultivate that image so people would leave me to my work, but there is a part of me that I have tried to keep hidden that wants the same thing everyone else does. Someone to come home to. I thought having a roommate might help soothe those needs, but it doesn't. It can't."

Penny's mouth hung open. Sheldon has a deal. No one knew, not even her. She knew he had a masturbation schedule, but he made it clear it was just biology, and not something he enjoyed. She also knew he was a virgin, and didn't know the first thing about dating. "Sheldon, sweetie, I know you aren't a robot or an alien. If you were, we wouldn't be friends, you wouldn't have allowed yourself to be. While you can irritate the crap out of people, you are the most kindhearted person I know. You know, Beverly might be on to something. Love makes you a better person, just look at your friendships. Do you think you would have made it as far as you have without friends? Sure, you would still be the smartest person I know, but you need other people to survive, we all do. But what made you think your first foray into the dating scene should be with me? I just don't get it." She shook her head in confusion.

Sheldon hadn't realized he was holding his breath until she started speaking. Her response lifted a weight he hadn't realized was so heavy until it was gone. "Like I said before, the math doesn't lie. Out of everyone I know, there is no one out there better for me than you."

Penny stood and started wringing her hands. This wasn't right. "Sheldon, that doesn't even make sense! We are way too different. You're this...this beautiful mind genius guy, and I'm Penny, a community college dropout and a big ol' five. You deserve to be with someone so much better, and someone more on your level. If not Amy, maybe another scientist? I know Amy has said many times that there aren't enough female scientists in the world, but they can't be all that rare. Maybe I could come up to the university sometime and help you find someone?"

Sheldon had watched Penny stand up and start pacing the room. He realized in that moment that somewhere along their friendship line, he had failed her. He had to rectify this immediately. He stood up and stepped in her path and grabbed her gently by her upper arms to steady her. He waited until she looked up. "Penny. I am extremely sorry if I ever made you feel inferior. That was never my intention. While I have compared our levels of knowledge, it was never meant to be an insult to you, but more of an observation. There are very few people in the world as smart as me, and even fewer that have a higher level of intelligence. I have always stated facts, forgetting sometimes that the vast majority of the world's population does not see the world in the same light as I do. While you are in fact a 'community college dropout' that in itself does not lessen who you are as a person. I assure you that if I wanted to date another scientist, I happen to already know of quite a few that would be interested."

Penny squeezed her eyes shut to stop the tears that were threatening to escape. Sheldon didn't do well with 'female hysterics', as he liked to say. She knew he never meant to hurt her, but she knows who she is. She's a nobody, and she fights with herself every day to stay in California, and not run home in shame. That's one of the reasons she drinks so much, it dulls the pain of her failures, and helps her to forget what a loser she is. Even if it's only for a little while.

Sheldon hated seeing her like this. He knows he has no talent for comforting people, that's what Penny is good at. He gently steered her back to the couch and pushed her down until she was sitting again. He took his spot next to her and waited as she leaned back and rested her head on the back of the couch again. "Penny, I don't pretend to understand how you came to the conclusion that you are lacking in some fundamental way, but I would hope that you know me well enough by now to know that I would never lie to you. I am a scientist, which you know, and you also know that I never do anything without thoroughly researching it first. You can rest assured that I have thought of this from every possible angle, and have done the math to back my work. Out of all the people I know, there is no one better suited to be my mate than you."

Penny didn't even know how she was supposed to respond to that. On one hand, it was probably the nicest thing anyone has ever said to her, but on the other, this was Sheldon for goodness sake. She sat up and studied the man beside her. He was rude, pompous, and yet oddly endearing. There is no way this would ever work. "Sweetie, thank you, but girls don't really like being referred to as someone's 'mate'. "

Sheldon thought for a moment. "Well, I suppose there is nothing wrong about replacing it with the more common colloquial terminology of 'girlfriend' instead. I just assumed we would try one date before determining if a paradigm shift in our relationship was called for."

"Sheldon, I'm not sure what math was all involved in this decision of yours, but you forgot one important equation."

"Impossible. I was very thorough and I..."

Penny interrupted before he could launch into a full description of mathematics that she was positive she wouldn't understand. "I know you were thorough, but there is one thing I'm positive that you didn't consider. The unknown. You calculated relationships for everyone you know, but there are still so many people just in our immediate area that you don't know or haven't met yet. Your soulmate could be out there somewhere, just waiting to meet you."

Sheldon was getting tired of this. He needed to hurry up and get her to agree to a date so she could see all the different ways they were compatible. While he wasn't sure he believed in the concept of 'soulmates' if he had to say he had one, it would be her. "Penny, once again you underestimate me. I accounted for the possibility that there is also someone else that I haven't met yet that would suit me. I used a formula calculating my age, how long it has taken me to cultivate my current relationships, and then quantified the statistical rate at what point I might find said person. According to my calculations, you are still the highest percentage of compatibility. You have called me a 'beautiful mind genius' more than once, so why do you question my work?"

Penny stood up again, she had to move, this was all too much. "Because! I'm no good at this! I don't want to break you or...or damage you. Don't you see? You are my best friend, I can't risk it. Hell, Sheldon, you can barely stand to be touched! In the entire time I've known you, we've hugged only a couple of times. How could we possibly make this work?"

Sheldon took it as a good sign that she used the word 'we'. He was finally making some headway. "Penny, you are the only one that has consistently knocked down my carefully erected walls. I am more open to being touched by you than anyone else, and in case you've forgotten, I have touched you more than I've touched anyone else as well." He was of course, referring to the time he had to assist her to the hospital. He tried his best to keep things platonic, but he was only male after all. That day featured in many of his scheduled masturbatory sessions. "And as for 'breaking' me, I'm not as fragile as everyone seems to think I am. I know exactly who you are, Penny. I have always known. From the first day I met you, I knew what kind of person you were. I know your past, and I know all your flaws. I also know all the things that make you wonderful. All I'm asking for is one date. One date to prove to you that I'm worth taking the risk."

Penny was lost. How on earth was she supposed to say no to that? Just when she thought she had him all figured out, he had to go and surprise her. What he didn't understand is that she already knew he was worth taking the risk, but that didn't make it any less scary. If she did anything to hurt him, she would hate herself. Didn't he see that? Didn't he know that she wasn't worth the risk? That's why she goes out to bars and has one night stands. She doesn't know how to do the whole relationship thing. She tried it a few times, and each time it went down in flames. All she could do now is agree to the date and make sure she didn't let herself go for a second.

He knew he had won when she stopped and looked at him. He wasn't always the best at reading body language, but the eyes? He could read eyes, especially hers. They say the eyes are the windows to the soul. While he isn't sure what a soul entails, he does recognize the fear and desire unintentionally shown to him while she ponders his challenge. To seal the deal, as it were, he stood up slowly, and reached for her hands. He looked deep into her eyes and asked again "Penny, would you like to go on a date with me? Please?"