They both get inside in the car, and Castiel has hundreds of questions swirling within his head. He's thrilled to be back, but he's a little suspicious that Sam is the only one here. Where is Jack? Where is Dean?

But Castiel can be patient. He knows Sam will probably tell him what he missed. But Sam stays quiet as he drives them away from the field with the windmill and down the backroad that led him there. Sam keeps looking over at Castiel with a smile on his face. Castiel knows he should be glad, but he knows it must have been a while since his death if Sam keeps looking over at him like that. And that worries him. He can't wait anymore.

"How are you, Sam?" Castiel asks. He really wants to know about Jack, but he doesn't want to sound insensitive. And he does want to know about Sam, but his main priority is Jack. It has been for a long, long time. He doesn't even want to ask about Dean. That's something he isn't even remotely ready to deal with.

Sam beams. "I'm good. Better now that you're back. It's been…well, it's been pretty rough since we defeated Chuck."

Castiel wants to know how they defeated God, but that isn't what he's focused on. "Why has it been rough?"

Sam swallows. "Well," he begins, "your death hit Dean and Jack really hard. I know we were all putting on a brave face after you died, but as soon as we were finished with Chuck, they both locked themselves in their rooms. I expected that from Dean, and I think Jack copied him. And I…" Sam trails off and blinks back tears. "I didn't know what to do. I mean, I lost you, too. So I called Eileen, and she helped me help them."

"And how is Jack now?" Castiel asks.

Sam bites his lip and looks at Castiel for a moment. "When he fought Chuck, he lost his powers. He hasn't said anything to me, but I know he blames himself for being unable to save you."

Castiel's blood runs cold. He knows how difficult it is to adjust to becoming human and losing powers you once had. It's not an easy adjustment in the slightest. Castiel should have been there for Jack.

Sam notices Castiel's expression. "But he's okay now, Cas," Sam reassures quickly. "He's a strong kid. I think…I actually think he's happier without his powers. It's like he doesn't have all that responsibility or pressure to deal with anymore. He's, uh, he's actually enrolled in college."

"College?" Castiel says in surprise. "Where?" He's not sure how to feel about Jack moving away and starting a life on his own. He's glad for Jack's independence, but Castiel isn't sure Jack is ready for that. Especially since he just lost his powers.

"Just online, but he and Dean are road tripping right now."

Castiel is relieved Jack isn't somewhere far away, but then he blinks as Sam's words sink in. "They…are? Really?"

"Yeah," Sam says. "And it was Dean's idea, too."

"That's very surprising." Castiel never expected Dean to offer something like that to Jack. Ever. Castiel always imagined he and Jack would grow apart from Dean after this was all over. But Castiel never expected to die either.

"You're telling me," Sam agrees. "But…mourning you brought them closer in a weird way. And I think Dean is doing that thing where he beats himself up over his past mistakes way too much, and he's doing it about Jack. I think he's trying to make everything up to Jack with the road trip."

"Good." Castiel knows it's a bit insensitive, but a part of him resents Dean for the way he treated Jack. Yet it didn't affect his love for Dean. The duality of it all has given Castiel many headaches.

Sam gives him a stern look but doesn't say anything. He stares at the road before saying, "I wish my phone hadn't died. They keep sending me pictures. I would show you."

"Where did they go?"

Sam smiles softly. He tells Castiel how Dean and Jack first visited Jody and the girls. Dean had told Sam that Claire was super happy to see Jack but tried to play it off. Then they went to Colorado, and they both sent Sam pictures of the forest and the mountains. Sam says there's a really cute selfie Jack took of them by a river. Sam says it's the first time he's seen them smile like that in a while. After Colorado, they went to Arizona, and Jack sent Sam an overabundance of Grand Canyon pictures. Dean sent him one of Jack holding an ice cream cone. Jack isn't looking at the camera and pointing at something off-screen. Castiel hasn't even seen it, and he wants to frame it.

"So, yeah," Sam finishes. "That's basically it. I went on a hunt with Eileen a couple days ago, figured out how to bring you back, and then I came here." Sam says it so casually.

"How did you find a way to save me?" Castiel asks. He still isn't convinced there aren't going to be consequences for this. But he supposes things are different now since God is gone.

Sam grins. "How I solve everything: research."

Castiel raises his eyebrows. "Sam, that's impressive."

Sam's smile grows. "Thanks, Cas."

"I mean it. You must be the smartest hunter to walk the Earth."

Sam chuckles in embarrassment. "I don't know about that."

Castiel stares out the window at the setting sun. He asks one more question that's been eating at him, "How long have I been gone?"

There's a pause. Sam blows out a breath. "Ten months."

Castiel swallows and nods. He never expected to come back, but that's still too long. He should've been there. Especially for Jack.

"They're gonna be so happy to see you," Sam says, and he's grinning again.

Castiel isn't sure about Dean. He knows his feelings are one-sided. All Castiel hopes is things can go back to normal. His ideal situation is Dean never brings it up and goes on as if it didn't happen. Dean tends to do that, so Castiel believes that's what's going to happen. But he's also prepared himself for the worst. Dean ignoring him. Dean yelling at him. Dean hitting him. But he'll take it. But he won't let Dean separate him from Jack. He doesn't think Dean will do that, but he hadn't anticipated on Dean going on a road trip with Jack. In other circumstances, Castiel would be elated at how close the two have gotten. But now he's afraid he's ruined everything with telling Dean, "I love you."

"Sam," Castiel says tentatively. Maybe he can get some sort of idea how Dean will react upon seeing him.

"Yeah, Cas?"

"Did Dean tell you what happened when I died?"

"No, actually. He barely told me anything. But he was pretty upset."

Castiel nods. This is what he expected.

Sam chuckles. "You're not gonna tell me either, are you?"

"No."

"You two drive me crazy sometimes."

And it's only going to get worse.

Sam leads them inside the bunker but suddenly stops. Castiel steps inside after Sam to see what's wrong.

"Where the hell—" Dean's gaze lands on Castiel. His eyes widen, and he looks at Sam.

"I, uh, brought Cas back," Sam says.

Castiel can see the questions behind Dean's eyes, but Dean doesn't get to ask any.

"Castiel!" Jack exclaims and races towards him.

Castiel's heart leaps in excitement. He brushes past Sam and hurriedly goes down the stairs. They meet at the foot of the stairs, and Jack jumps into his arms. Jack grips onto him tightly, and Castiel can't hold back his tears. He closes his eyes and holds onto Jack as if his life depends on it. Castiel hears Jack sniffle quietly, and his tears fall down harder.

"What have you done?" Dean accuses.

"Dean," Sam answers firmly. "It's fine. I brought him back."

"I can see that! And what did it cost?"

"Nothing!"

"It's never nothing."

"It is without Chuck fucking up our lives!" There's a pause, and Castiel knows they're glaring at each other. Then Sam continues softly, "Dean, it's okay. I wouldn't make this up. Not after everything. Look, I didn't tell you just in case it didn't work. So this wouldn't happen."

"You were gone for six days."

"…Oh," Sam says quietly. "It didn't feel like that to me. I swear, it's only been a day."

"But you did it?" Eileen asks. "And you're okay?"

"Yeah," Sam answers.

"Okay, well, tell me next time, so I don't call your brother and give him a stroke," she says.

"I didn't have a stroke," Dean denies.

Jack pulls away far enough to say, "Kind of." He's smiling at Dean.

Dean smiles back. "Shut up."

Castiel's heart soars. He finally looks at Jack. He cups his face in his hands and wipes away the tears with his thumbs. Jack is smiling at him with the power of the Sun. His eyes are alight with life, and his smile is more carefree than Castiel has ever seen.

Jack looks…free.

Castiel hugs him again.

"I missed you so much," Jack says.

"I missed you too."

"I saw the Grand Canyon."

"You did?" Castiel asks, pretending this is the first he's heard of it.

Jack pulls away and smiles at him again. It's just as bright as the last one. "Yeah! Dean took me!"

Jack tells his road trip tale to Castiel, and they all migrate to the table at some point. Eileen gets Sam a glass of water, and they have a conversation in sign language while Jack tells his story. It's basically what Sam told Castiel earlier, but with all of the little Jack details such as:

"I tried a banana-split ice cream for the first time, and it's my new favorite. Have you tried a banana-split before?"

And,

"The weather was really nice at the Grand Canyon, but the hike uphill was so hard."

And finally,

"Oh! And Dean let me try an energy drink, so I could do my homework, but then I couldn't sleep."

That earns a pointed look at Dean, and Dean sheepishly looks down at the table. Dean has been staring at Castiel the entire time. His gaze sometimes flicks over to Jack, but every time Castiel glances at Dean (he doesn't want to stare too hard and make Dean uncomfortable) Dean is staring at him as if he's something impossible. Which Castiel supposes he is.

Jack yawns.

"Alright, bud," Dean says. "Don't you have a morning class tomorrow or something?"

"No," Jack lies.

"Jack," Castiel reprimands.

"I don't want to sleep yet," Jack says with pleading eyes.

Castiel hesitates.

"Jack," Dean says. "It's almost midnight. Cas is gonna be here tomorrow." Dean looks at Castiel. "Right, Cas?"

Castiel looks at Jack. "Yes, of course." Castiel stands. "I'll take you to bed."

"No, I can do it myself," Jack states.

Castiel raises his eyebrows but smiles.

Jack hugs Castiel tightly then pulls away. "Oh, wait, just one more thing."

"Jack," Dean and Castiel both say.

Jack sighs and hugs Castiel one more time. He walks over to the hallway and then turns to look at Castiel. "Goodnight, Castiel!"

Castiel nods with a smile. "Goodnight, Jack."

Jack beams before heading towards his room. They all stay silent until they hear his door close.

"Well," Sam says. "Eileen and I are going to head to bed, too."

Castiel freezes. He doesn't want to be alone with Dean. He doesn't want to face the consequences of his actions. But then Eileen walks over to him and hugs him, interrupting his thoughts.

She pulls back and signs, "It's good to see you again."

Castiel smiles. "You too."

Sam hugs him too. He pulls away and squeezes Cas' shoulder with a smile before taking Eileen's hand and walking down the hallway.

Castiel watches them go. And then stares at the empty hall once they leave his sight.

"Cas," Dean says softly.

Castiel tenses but doesn't look at him. "I think I'm going to go on a drive."

Castiel hears Dean's chair scrape against the floor. "Cas." And it's quiet, and Dean sounds like he's going to cry.

Castiel risks looking in Dean's direction. Dean is standing beside the table and staring at him with an expression Castiel has never seen before. Dean is looking at him like he's searching for something important he lost, and the answer lies on Castiel's face.

Dean's hair is a bit longer than usual. He looks tired, but that isn't abnormal. But there's still something different.

"You lost weight," Castiel says stupidly. Too much weight, he thinks.

"Huh? Oh, uh." Dean looks down at himself. "Yeah, I guess." He looks back up at Castiel with the same expression from earlier. "Cas, we gotta…we gotta talk about what happened."

Castiel's hopes that Dean wouldn't acknowledge what he said are dashed. He faintly considers pretending as if he forgot. But he can't. It's best to get this over with now. "What is there to talk about, Dean?" And he sounds way more defensive than he means to.

"Cas, c'mon." And Dean rounds the table to get closer.

Castiel tenses.

Dean stops. He frowns. "Wait…do you think I'm mad at you?"

"How else would you feel?"

Dean stares a second before tentatively stepping forward. Castiel won't back down. Dean is right in front of him now. Dean quickly glances downward and grabs both of Castiel's hands.

Castiel's breath hitches. This is also something he had anticipated. But he didn't allow himself to dwell on it too long, but he should've known. Dean is the most loving man he knows, of course he's going to give Castiel what he wants, regardless of his own feelings.

Castiel closes his eyes to stop the flood of tears threatening to spill out. "Dean. Don't." His voice is barely a whisper.

"Why not?" Dean whispers back. "You want this, right?"

Castiel swallows and opens his eyes. "Not like this." He pulls his hands away.

Dean blinks, and Castiel can see his walls going up. "Cas, I don't…I don't understand what's going on here, man." He takes in a deep breath. "I thought you…you know."

"I do know, Dean. And I do love you."

Dean sucks in a sharp breath.

Castiel presses on, "But I won't let you do this. I won't let you give yourself to me just because it's something I want. I'm happy with having you in any way I can. Even if it's just like what we had before."

Dean shakes his head and reaches for Castiel's hands again.

Castiel steps back. This is more painful than he ever thought it was going to be.

"Cas, c'mon, man," Dean pleads. He steps forward and grabs Castiel's forearms before he can back away. "You know I'm not good with saying how I feel." Dean's searching his face again. "Just…just let me show you." Dean swallows. "Please?"

"I know how you feel," Castiel says resolutely. Tears are spilling from his eyes. Dammit. He didn't want to cry. Not again. He needs Dean to understand that he's okay with them just being friends. He wants things to go back to normal. "And it's okay, Dean."

Dean straightens. He seems…offended? "Okay, if you know how I feel then let me kiss you."

"What."

Before Castiel can process his words, Dean's hands are cupping his face. "Did you really think it was one-sided?"

"I-I…what is happening?" Castiel's heartrate is at a speed that can't be healthy. Dean has to hear it. His own hands are shaking, and he grabs onto Dean's arms. He stares at the hunter with wide eyes. Dean traces one of his thumbs over Castiel's bottom lip. Castiel gasps, but Dean acts like he didn't hear it.

"I'm telling you I'm sorry," Dean says. He's staring straight into Castiel's eyes, and Castiel can't pull himself away. "I'm sorry I didn't get my head out of my ass sooner. I'm sorry I never appreciated you enough. I'm sorry I let you die. And I'm sorry that I didn't show you."

"Show me what?"

Dean licks his lips. "That I love you, too."

Dean leans forward and presses his lips onto Castiel's.

All of the lights in the bunker burst with a loud pop.

Dean immediately pulls back, and the red back-up lights come on. Dean looks around. "Uh, what was that?"

"S-sorry," Castiel says. "I got a little excited."

Dean whips his head back down to look at Castiel. "That was you?"

Castiel can feel how red his face is. He's grateful for the red lighting. "Yes."

Sam and Eileen race into the room, both sporting handguns.

"What's going on?" Sam asks.

Dean stares at his brother with wide eyes. "Oh my god." He looks back at Castiel. "Did you do this to all of the lights?"

Again, Castiel is grateful for the red lighting. "Yes."

"Cas," Sam says. "Are you okay?"

Jack runs into the room wielding an automatic rifle.

"Where the hell did you get that!" Dean exclaims.

Jack looks around the room. "Who's invading?"

"No one's…" Dean begins but doesn't finish. He walks over to Jack. "Give me that." He takes the gun away from the three-year-old. He inspects the gun. "Where is this from?"

"The armory," Jack answers.

"We have an armory?"

"Uh, guys," Sam pipes up. "Focus."

"Oh, yeah." Dean turns around to look at Sam. "Everything's fine. Goodbye now."

Sam frowns and looks at Castiel. "Uh, okay?"

"Yup, goodbye." Dean grabs one of Sam's shoulders and guides him back into the hall. Jack and Eileen follow but give Dean and Castiel strange looks.

Dean waits until they all return to their rooms before turning back and looking at Castiel. He raises his eyebrows. "A little excited, huh?"

Castiel glares.

Dean chuckles and sets the rifle on the table. "Hey, I'm just teasing." Dean grabs Castiel's hands again and tugs him closer. Castiel's heart stutters in his chest. Dean's grinning at him. "Can we try that again, or are you going to take out all the emergency lights, too?"

"That's not fun—"

Dean kisses him, and Castiel manages to calm himself down enough not to destroy anything this time.

Dean's hands let go of Castiel's and travel up his arms. One of Dean's hands settles around the base of his neck while the other gets lost in his hair. Castiel grabs Dean by the waist and pulls him closer. He still can't believe this is happening, and he feels as if he's getting drunk off of Dean's touches.

Dean is kissing him gently, just sliding his lips against Castiel's. Dean tastes like whiskey and summer nights. Castiel's heart is pounding in his ears, and he's having trouble stringing together a single coherent thought. He balls Dean's shirt up in his hands and tilts his head just a little more and oh. Dean licks at the seam of Castiel's lips, and Castiel lets Dean slip his tongue inside his mouth. Dean takes his time in tasting every inch of Castiel before pulling away, completely breathless. He rests their foreheads together.

"Cas," he pants reverently. "You have me. Stop holding back."

Castiel has never felt this happy before. "Dean."

This time Castiel kisses Dean. Castiel presses into him, almost desperately. He slides his hands up under Dean's shirt, trying to memorize how warm and soft Dean feels. Dean moans quietly, and Castiel presses his tongue into his mouth. Dean moans again, and Castiel almost pulls back, not wanting to get carried away, but then he remembers Dean's words.

"You have me. Stop holding back."

Castiel drowns himself in Dean and only pulls away when he feels too dizzy to stand.

"Holy shit," Dean whispers.

Castiel cups Dean's face in his hands and rests his forehead on Dean's. "Dean. Dean. I love you so much."

"Oh, fuck." And Dean's voice breaks.

Castiel immediately draws back to look at him. He almost misses Dean's tears in the dim, red lighting. Castiel's heart stops. Did he take it too far? "Dean?"

Dean pulls Castiel into a hug and squeezes him tightly. "Cas, I'm—" His breath stutters. "Cas, I'm so fucking happy."

Castiel closes his eyes and holds Dean tightly. "Me too, Dean. Me too."