Author's Note: Hi everyone! Welcome back. Hope you're all holding up! The last two weeks have been weird. It kind of feels like the days are all blurring into one. I guess it's felt like that for the last year really. It's so easy to let the time slip away, especially right now. But writing this, for you guys, helps keep me in the present. It's a little escape route. I hope that it helps you all escape too. This week, finally, something good happens. Kataangst aplenty of course, but there is a light at the end of the dark tunnel. Katara finally finds out about how Aang came to find Kya, and the ice begins to break a little more. I thought we all might need some optimism...

This chapter's song is 'Creature Fear' by Bon Iver. I was listening to it constantly while writing. It's beautiful.

Katara wasn't really sure what to say. She felt so guilty. Yet she felt relieved. It was as if a weight had been lifted from her shoulders after hanging there for years, only to be replaced with a new one. Except this new weight wasn't on her shoulders. It sat in the pit of her stomach. How could she have been so stupid?

'Oh, yeah. The beginning.'

The two of them were sitting where they had countless times before, just behind Appa's head as they cruised through a sky streaked with red and purple. The air was cool, but not cold. Sokka was relaxing behind them, drifting in and out of sleep.

She looked at Aang with expectation. This was it. After seven years of wondering, here she was about to find out. She felt sick. What had happened to him? Who was Kya? Where had she come from?

Aang smiled, awkwardly, letting out a breathy laugh. The memories were strong. Some of the wounds somehow still felt very fresh.

'I guess we should start with…you know.'

'Yeah…'

They averted each others' eyes for a moment. They both knew how painful that was. They had never discussed it. They had never really felt the need - or rather the want - to.

'Where did you go?'

Aang looked up.

'What?'

'After I… When… That night. I slept in our room. Your stuff was gone…'

'Oh. Yeah, I… I guess I thought you needed space. I'm used to sleeping on the floor anyway, so… when you left me there… I just got my stuff out your room.'

Your room. That stung. It was theirs. It was.

'I honestly can't remember that day very well. I just remember the feeling. When you let me go… I was lost. I didn't leave. I wasn't ready to go. But I couldn't stay. I just walked. For hours. I didn't come home until the next morning. I wanted to go talk to you but… I thought better of it. I thought you needed the time. If I'm honest, I hadn't really had the time to process any of it. There were moments where I just started absentmindedly talking to you when you weren't there. It was like my brain couldn't cope with the idea of us not being… you know. But we don't need to go into that.'

This was clearly still a tender subject. Aang looked - not nervous - but on edge. He obviously didn't want to cover this part. The day after was the hardest for her. She could only imagine what it had been like for him.

Katara had no idea what to say. So she said nothing.

'The day I left, you didn't say goodbye. I hadn't seen you since… anyway, when you weren't there with the others, I assumed you were angry. That you didn't want to see me or… Look, it was hard. I felt thrown out of balance. It wasn't how I thought I'd be going. I was scared. I'd lived so long with…someone else there. I hadn't counted on being alone again so soon.

I remember saying goodbye. It felt so…final. It felt like I wasn't coming back. Like I was being ushered off into a world totally apart from the one we'd spent the last five years in. I try to trust in these things. To allow the ebb and flow of the universe to take me where I need to go. But this felt wrong. I understand why it had to be but… it didn't make it any easier…'

Aang caught himself. This was too much.

'I'm sorry - you don't need to hea-'

'It's ok. I… actually think I do.'

Silence. A moment of understanding. They didn't really do that so much anymore.

'Ok. At first, it was hard. I felt useless. I wanted to come back, but in my gut I knew it was the wrong thing to do. It would be cruel to you. I couldn't hurt you. I wouldn't allow myself to do that. The nights were hardest. I didn't sleep well. I didn't really want to eat. I travelled for what felt like forever. Never stayed in one place all that long. Someone else always needed something. For a while, it felt like I was going to be like that forever. Like this dark tunnel I was travelling through was just going on and on and on and on. I was missing you all.

Eventually, though, it got a little easier. At least, it felt like I could function. So I did what I'd always done. I helped people. I tried to have fun doing it. Not that I managed much. The days began to blur into one. I woke up. I went to sleep. I woke up. I went to sleep. What came in the middle didn't matter. I just didn't register it. Any of it. I was numb. I lived almost a year like that. It wasn't really living. Existing, yes. Persisting perhaps. Living, though, I don't think so. I didn't feel alive. I thought that time might help heal me. It didn't.

The monks used to say, though, that when we hit our lowest point we're open to the greatest change. I can't see myself ever getting much lower than that. That was when I found Kya. Or, I guess, she found me.'

He smiled to himself. A real smile. This was cathartic. It felt like he was letting go of something. Like his guard was slowly lowering. He had never told anyone any of that. For the first time in years, he had someone to tell again. He checked himself. He couldn't let himself get too… comfortable with this. That time in his life was over, he told himself. As much as he wished it weren't.

Katara was still silent. This was a lot to take in. She was struggling to process everything at once. The guilt, though, was immense. It wasn't Aang's intention, of course, but she couldn't help it. She felt herself begin to well up, but swallowed it down. She caused him so much pain. She could feel it. But she'd had to. She kept telling herself that.

'I was in the Earth Kingdom, travelling through to Yu Dao. Appa and I had stopped for the night in a forest to get some rest. We'd been on the road for days, so we were both pretty run down. I was trying to get to sleep when I heard something. Screaming. Or at least it sounded like it. Not too far away. That's when I found her. There was this woman - she had been attacked by a couple of Boarcupines. I scared them away but it was too late. She'd been gashed, all the way up her back. She was losing blood. Fast. It was gruesome. I tried to get her to hold on until I could find help, or at least until I could stop the bleeding - but she wouldn't. It was strange… she was Water Tribe. I don't know why she was out in the middle of nowhere in the Earth Kingdom, or even how. It didn't matter, I guess. I realised that there was nothing I could do for her. She wasn't going to make it. Just before she died she made me promise her something. She made me take her child. Still a baby. I had no choice. I couldn't have left her there. I thought about trying to find her a home - I wasn't exactly in the right place to be raising a kid. I was terrified by the idea. How could I hope to give this child anything remotely like a good upbringing? I had to travel constantly. I had enemies. I always will do. My life wasn't… quiet. But she said it had to be me. I held that child, and something happened. I can't explain it. When I looked into her eyes they… I'd… I'd seen them before.'

He stared into Katara's eyes. She knew. She had noticed the very first time she had seen them. They were hers. He shifted his gaze down once again, afraid perhaps of getting lost in her eyes for too long. Katara wished he wouldn't. She wished he would meet her gaze and never look away. She studied his face for a moment, mentally tracing well remembered lines. She remembered how they used to lie together, his chin gently resting on the top of her head as she listened to his chest. The way his jaw clenched when he was thinking. The lines of his tattoos, guiding her down to the nape of his neck when she used to help him shave his head. She closed her eyes for a moment. Stop. She had to let him go. He had moved on. She had to as well. He looked out to the horizon.

'Guru Pathik once told me that love was a form of energy. It can't be created or destroyed, but instead just gets transferred into something new. I was still in love with you - I'll a-… I'll always care about you. But that love became something else. I fell in love again. Kya became everything.'

'Why did you… That was my m-'

'I know. Honestly, it was the only name that came into my mind. It was an instinct. I just knew it in my gut. It felt right. The second I held her something just came over me. I had to take care of her. I did. She saved me. From myself, I guess. Obviously at first I had no idea what I was doing. It was hard. If I wasn't sleeping before then it certainly didn't help me get any more. We learned as we went. I suppose I had to grow up. We got by. Travelled all the time. Strangers were kind to us. I helped them with their problems, and in turn they helped me with her. I just tried to keep her safe. If anything ever happened to her… I don't know what I'd do. I told her stories. About us - all of us. About the war. About what happened after. She always wanted to meet you. I think she saw something of herself in you. I do. When she was three I realised she could bend. We'd stopped to give Appa a rest, and she was splashing in the shallows of a river. Some water must have gone up her nose or something - she sneezed and suddenly shot into the air on a jet of water. I was terrified, of course. I thought she might have gotten hurt, or that something was trying to hurt her - but we were alone. It was her.'

He chuckled. It punched its way out of his chest, bright and sincere. She had always liked his laugh. It was infectious. Seeing how much he loved that kid…something about it broke Katara. He had loved her like that once. She missed it. She missed him.

'She's strong.'

'I know. She was always desperate for me to teach her, but something told me that you would be the one to do it. I don't know why. Part of me thought I would never see you again. I had almost reconciled myself with that.'

He hadn't. She hadn't. Neither of them knew.

'Although, there was always a little part of me that hoped I would. Come back, I mean. See everyone. I was kind of living in hope that someday I'd have an excuse. But life took over. Seven years is a long time. Especially when you're raising a kid.'

Katara just stared at him. Listening. He sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck.

'So yeah. I guess that's it. Kya isn't my kid, no. But she is mine. For all she cares, I'm her dad. That's good enough for me. She's everything. I didn't save her that day. She saved me.'

She wasn't really sure what to say. She felt so guilty. Yet relieved. It was as if a weight had been lifted from her shoulders after hanging there for years, only to be replaced with a new one. Except this new weight wasn't on her shoulders. It sat in the pit of her stomach. How could she have been so stupid? How could she have hurt him so badly? For a while, they were silent. She listened to the wind rustling Appa's fur. She took a deep breath in through her nose.

'I'm sorry…'

'For what?'

'If I hurt you. I'm sorry, Aang. I never wanted to. I just-'

'It's ok, Katara. I think it was for the best, you know. I think we both needed to grow. And you were right. It was kind, in a way. To both of us. For what it's worth, I'm sorry too.'

She looked at him, confused.

'Why?'

'For not coming back sooner. Or even trying to contact you guys. For some reason, I just couldn't bring myself to. It took Zuko's letter to bring me home. I guess when I found Kya I was so preoccupied with her that-'

'Aang. It's alright. At least you're home now.'

She smiled. He smiled back. Katara's breath quickened. Her pupils dilated just a touch, the hairs on the back of her neck standing on end. She wondered if Aang could tell. Then, as if on cue, the two of them turned away from each other. Katara cursed herself. No. You can't do this again. You'll only end up hurting him. But then again - had she ever really let him go in the first place? She had to be careful. She had to stop herself from doing this. The ice between them was breaking, faster. She wasn't ready to let it just yet. She still needed more time. She looked over at Aang. He was sat staring into the distance, deep in thought. She watched him for a while. Wondered what was going through his mind. What he could be thinking. It used to be that she could just tell what he was thinking at a glance. Like she could read his mind. The two of them thought the same way. They had the same hopes. The same fears. They used to.

'I don't know why that woman was there. Kya's mother. Why a mother, with a newborn child, both Water Tribe, were in the middle of a forest in the Earth Kingdom. Why they happened to be so close to me. Why I didn't get there in time. Why that woman died and her baby survived. Why she gave Kya to me. I don't think I'll ever know…'

'I suppose it doesn't matter now.'

'No. No, I don't think it does.'

He smiled, softly. Neither of them moved. They just sat there, watching the sky.

There was nothing to say, so they said nothing.