"I...hate...you...so...god...damn...much..."
"You say that every time, Victoria. I'm starting to think you don't really mean it."
"Fuck...you...Max..."
"You say that every time, too. And what have I told you about not leaning over like that? You'll catch your breath faster standing up straight."
"Fine. How far...have we...gone?"
"A little over a mile. I'm impressed."
"Don't...patronize me..."
"I mean it. When you started out you could barely run one lap without having to stop. You just did five."
"I guess...that is pretty good."
"That's really good. Feeling better?"
"Yeah...Yeah, I think so."
"Good, because you've got another three laps to go."
"Why? Why are you doing this to me?"
"Because you asked me to. I think your exact words were 'this is my last ever summer, Max, so whip me into shape no matter how much I bitch and moan about it'."
"I lied. I wanna be fat. Fat and happy."
"No, you don't. Now c'mon. The sooner you're done running, the sooner you can hold the pads while I try not to punch you in the face."
"You're an asshole, you know that?"
"An asshole who looks better in a swimsuit than you."
"The fuck did you just say?!"
Max
I don't know if you ever met Elliot Ross. He was one of the two Arcadia Bay Police Department officers who survived with Ms. Chase and myself. He and I have stayed in touch. He's with the Philadelphia Police Department now and I thought he might be interested in your project.
He doesn't know if you'll find it useful, but he wrote down as much as he could remember about the ABPD. It's all in the attached document.
David Madsen
"Well, that's helpful."
"Yeah. Go, David."
Max: What have you done?
Victoria: Could you possibly be more vague?
Max: You know exactly what I'm talking about, Chase! Kristen was half an hour late meeting me for lunch today because she was busy running errands.
Victoria: So? As much as it pains me to admit it, not everything is about me.
Max: I'm sorry, let me clarify. She said she was busy running YOUR errands.
Victoria: Oh right.
Victoria: Yeah, that was about me.
Victoria: She's actually very hard-working.
Max: What did you do to her?
Victoria: Nothing remotely inappropriate.
Max: That is the least reassuring answer I've ever seen.
Victoria: Fine. See for yourself.
Victoria: [img/convo_screencap_1]
Victoria: [img/convo_screencap_2]
Max: Okay. Honest question.
Max: Are you the devil?
Victoria: Oh, Max. Don't be ridiculous.
Victoria: Do you really think I'd tell you if I were?
"Never have I ever asked my parents for a new thousand-dollar designer handbag just because my old thousand-dollar designer handbag popped a stitch."
"How rich do you think I was?"
"..."
"I'm actually a little offended that you think I was that materialistic."
"..."
"Oh, just pour the fucking drink already."
Max
Have you considered having her use an SMS alert? The most common example would be the Amber Alert system, but I've read that some states have it set up as a backup to the regular emergency broadcast system. It's a little more your generation than mine but it would have the same result. Younger people tend to question what they see on TV but they'd probably believe what's on their phone.
Just a thought.
David Madsen
"Hey, Max. Feeling any better?"
"No."
"Probably shouldn't have watched Grave of the Fireflies by yourself, huh?"
"I guess not."
"What something to eat?"
"No thanks."
"Need a hug?"
"...yeah."
Victoria: So, are you going to be home tonight?
Max: Afraid I'll miss curfew?
Victoria: I was just asking FFS.
Max: Sorry. That sounded funny out loud. I'm still at the library. I've been reading this thesis a guy published last year about naturally occurring UHF frequency interference in northwest Oregon.
Victoria: You're kidding me.
Max: Nope.
Victoria: You're never allowed to call me a nerd again.
Max: Because I was totally allowed to before.
Victoria: Whatever. It's getting late, smartass. You should call it quits for today.
Max: I'm actually making a lot of progress.
Victoria: What you're doing is developing unhealthy obsessive tendencies.
Max: ...your therapist?
Victoria: She knows her stuff.
Max: I GUESS.
Max: I have to admit, doing all this research while writing a pretend book at the same time has been kicking my ass a little.
Victoria: You can't do it all on your own, Max.
Max: I know.
Victoria: I told you I'd help you out. You never let me help.
Victoria: Max?
Victoria: You still there?
"Is it really, Max? Is it really?"
"I..."
"Is it better than The Fifth Element? Or The Matrix? What about 12 Monkeys, Max? Is it better than that?"
"Victoria..."
"Is it more iconic than Planet of the Apes? More significant than Akira? More beloved than E.T.?"
"You being ridic-"
"Are we just writing off the entire Star Wars and Star Trek franchises now? Do classics like Metropolis and 2001: A Space Odyssey just not measure up anymore?"
"Holy shit, Victoria! All I said was that Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within is a great movie!"
"Oh, no. What you said was that it was the best science fiction movie ever made. That means you rank it above Close Encounters of The Third Kind, Ghost In The Shell, and Blade Runner. Blade Runner, Max! Are you out of your fucking mind?!"
"Oh, god. Not you, too."
Max: Why is Kristen mowing our lawn?
Victoria: Because I don't want to and landscapers cost $50 an hour.
Max: Are you kidding me?
Victoria: Afraid not. I blame the economy.
Hey Max,
Ms. Victoria happened to mention the book you guys were working on and I had a thought about the credibility question. Since it takes place in a small town, rather than forcing Hannah to bend over backward trying to prove she's credible, why not just remove the possibility of proving she's not?
I personally love Mr. Madsen's idea of using the emergency SMS system. It puts a modern spin on a classic trope that really adds something to the story's atmosphere. With that in mind, I wanted to point out that a lot of small towns have fairly limited cellular service (one or two towers). If those were broken or disabled right after she sent the warning message out, then no one in the town would be able to call out and verify whether it was real.
The only potential hang up is that would only buy her as much time as it takes for someone to drive to the next cellular zone. That's probably an hour or two, at most. BUT, if the message goes out in the evening, then they'd probably have to wait until morning to get an answer.
I may be overthinking it, but it seemed like an idea worth exploring.
Good luck with your writing! Let me know if you have any questions.
Regards,
Kristen Ann Jacobs
Administrative Intern - Chase Space Gallery
Max: Seriously? You make her call you Ms. Victoria now?
Victoria: She actually started doing that on her own. I simply didn't feel any need to dissuade her.
Max: Kristen is not your minion!
Victoria: Of course she's not. She's my intern.
Victoria: At a prestigious art gallery that, estate disputes notwithstanding, I still technically own.
Victoria: An internship like that would look excellent on a scholarship application to a prominent arts school.
Victoria: Such as Kristen's dream school, the USC School of Cinematic Arts.
Victoria: To which, coincidentally, my father made several generous financial contributions over the years.
Victoria: Giving the Chase name significant influence there.
Victoria: We have our own plaque.
Victoria: So is it really so awful that I make her spend eight weeks fetching me coffee and running errands?
Max: ...
Max: Honest question. Why go to the effort of helping Kris get into her dream school if we're planning to undo everything anyway?
Victoria: Because this plan of ours might not work. That's why I fully intend to keep acting as though life is going to go on. Kristen has the makings of a very talented filmmaker, and she deserves every chance to become one.
Max: You're a surprisingly sweet person, sometimes. :)
Victoria: Tell anyone and I'll deny it.
"Never have I ever gotten so freaked out by a reporter's interview question about my love life that I manipulated the douchebro jock she was dating into sending me dirty text messages, driving a wedge between her and her best friend and deflecting her attention away from my own suspicious lack of boyfriend."
"That's...really specific."
"...what if they died hating me?"
Steph: Hey, Max.
Max: Hi Steph. It's been a while.
Max: What's up?
Steph: Your friend Kristen forwarded me a draft copy of the book you've been writing. The time-travel one?
Max: Of course she did. -_-
Steph: Was she not supposed to?
Max: No, it's fine. Kris can just get a little over-enthusiastic sometimes.
Steph: I remember. Anyway, I just finished reading it. It's really good!
Max: It is?
Steph: Totally. I love the whole concept. The dialogue flows super well, and Hannah is such an awesome character.
Max: Oh, wow! That's so cool of you to say! Thank you!
Max: I'm so glad you like her!
Steph: You haven't been getting a lot of positive feedback, have you?
Max: Well, my editor/proofreader is Victoria Chase, so...
Steph: Shit. How the hell did that happen?
Max: It's a long story.
"Ow, ow, ow."
"Oh, stop being a wuss."
"I'm not. I can't feel my arms, Max. Are they still there?"
"If you can't feel them, why are you complaining?"
"I...oh, fuck off."
"Uh-huh. I'm not done. Get the pads back up."
"So what's...ow...with the...ow...whole She-Hulk thing...ow, ow...today?"
"No idea what you mean."
"The...ow...hell you...ow...don't. Ow, ow, ow, fucking ow! Damn it, Max! Take it easy, will you?"
"I am taking it easy."
"Since when is trying to knock my fucking arms off taking it easy?"
"Since I saw your latest round of 'editor's notes' this morning."
"..."
"Seems you've got some pretty strong opinions."
"I...look, you asked for my honest opinion."
"Do you want to talk about it now, or do you want to just hold the pads?"
"...I'd rather hold the pads."
"Yeah, I thought you might."
Max
I'm not going to beat around the bush. As interesting as Ms. Jacobs' idea is, disrupting communications and destroying public infrastructure in order to intentionally spread fear is pretty much the textbook definition of terrorism.
I'm not saying Hannah is a terrorist. However, a downed cell tower is going to attract a lot of very serious attention very quickly. She needs to try and operate under the radar. If she's going to go after public infrastructure she should focus on something less suspect. I actually had some thoughts regarding the power grid. No one would think to question a storm-related blackout.
Did you know that Arcadia Bay only had one electrical substation? I've attached some notes I put together. Let me know what you think.
David Madsen
"So I just need to send out an SMS and disable the cell towers without being obvious? Sure. Why not? Sounds easy."
"Oh, calm the fuck down. What were you going to do, Rambo? Start blowing shit up?"
"Maybe. Wouldn't be the first time."
"...the fuck is that supposed to mean?"
"Chloe and I once needed to get into Principal Wells' office."
"And?"
"And what?"
"Oh, wipe that stupid smirk off your face. What did you need to get into Wells' office for?"
"Definitely not to steal his chair, I can tell you that."
"What are you...never mind. Let's skip to the part where you needed to blow something up."
"We couldn't find the key."
Victoria: You grabbed your lunch off the counter before you went to work, right?
Max: Yes, Victoria.
Victoria: Good. Don't forget you have a dentist appointment at 4.
Max: YES, VICTORIA.
Max: I swear, you're going to be the worst helicopter mom someday.
Max: oh my god im so sorry.
Fernando: It'd never work.
Max: What wouldn't?
Fernando: The idea to use the Emergency SMS system.
Max: How do you know about that?
Fernando: Kris told me about.
Max: Seriously?!
Fernando: You know Kris. When she gets excited...
Fernando: Anyway, I looked it up and you know where that SMS would have to come from?
Fernando: The Tillamook County Emergency Management Office.
Max: Okay?
Fernando: You know what else is in that building?
Fernando: The local Sheriff's department and an office for the Oregon State Police.
Fernando: How do you like Hannah's odds of making that happen?
Max: ...
Max: Damn it.
Fernando: Sorry, dude.
Fernando: I did have a thought, though.
Fernando: You heard of the NOAA?
"Who's Noah?"
"It's NOAA, Victoria. Not Noah. It stands for National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration. They predict the weather."
"Neat. And why do we care?"
"Because I can either try breaking into a building full of cops and forcing them to send out an Emergency SMS, or I can go to the NOAA station fifteen minutes outside of town and get the one guy working there to send a message to the Emergency Management Office for us. Instant early storm warning."
"That's...not a terrible idea."
"Gee, thanks."
"People might not listen to a storm warning, though."
"People might not listen to a lot of things. We have to do the best we can. Just think it over, will you?"
"Okay, fine."
"And don't forget dinner tomorrow."
"How could I? I'm basically the guest of honor."
"It's my birthday, so I'm pretty sure you're just a regular guest."
"Is that why your mom called to invite me personally?"
"Yeah, no idea what that was about. I'm glad you're coming, though."
"Me too. The reservations are at six, right?"
"Yup."
"Cool. How fashionably late should I be?"
"I hate to break it to you, but in our tax bracket it's just called late."
Max: Seriously, I am SO SORRY about my parents!
Victoria: I already said it's fine.
Max: I don't know what they were thinking!
Victoria: Really, Max?
Victoria: We spend pretty much all of our free time together.
Victoria: We took a spontaneous trip to the Grand Canyon together.
Victoria: WE LIVE TOGETHER.
Victoria: And you can't imagine why your parents might have thought I was your girlfriend?
Victoria: Yeah. That's a real fucking mystery you've got on your hands there.
Max: Wow.
Max: When you put it that way, I don't know how I've resisted your charms so long.
Victoria: Calm the fuck down, you thirsty bitch.
"Je ne t'ai jamais piégé en buvant en parlant français."
"...what?"
"Tu m'as entendu, espèce de connard qui voyage dans le temps."
"Oh, whatever. Just pour the damn drink."
Steph: I was kinda bored at work today, so I turned Hannah's power into a D&D spell.
Max: Okay?
Steph: I mean, I had to nerf the hell out of it, since the way it's described in the story is broken AF. Being able to go back several minutes over and over is fine if you're writing a book, but for running a balanced combat encounter? Not so much.
Max: *smiles & nods*
Steph: Oh, ha ha.
"So I was thinking over that storm warning thing you were talking about, then I remembered what David wrote about the power grid and I had an idea. You ready?"
"Sure. Rock my world."
"For the last time, Caulfield, keep it in your pants."
"Just tell me your damn idea."
"Fine. You know Alfred Hitchcock, right? The director?"
"Everyone knows who Alfred Hitchcock is, Victoria."
"Fine. He's got this famous quote that's been running through my head. 'There's no terror in the bang, only in the anticipation of it'."
"Okay."
"So, you remember the double moon that last Thursday night? It was pretty unsettling, wasn't it?"
"Yeah, for sure."
"So imagine someone is at the End of the World party when suddenly everyone gets the same text message saying they need to evacuate the town. Then a couple of minutes later, before they've really had time to think about it, all the lights go out. Total blackout. What do they do?"
"I dunno. Probably go outside."
"Where they see that double moon and feel..."
"...unsettled?"
"Exactly. They've still got the message on their phone, but the cell towers aren't working with the power out so no one in town can call out to verify it. They'll just be sitting in the dark, staring at the warning on their phone's screen or at the most fucked up looking moon they've ever seen. You wouldn't have to do a thing after that."
"I wouldn't?"
"Nope. You can just sit back and watch while their own imaginations scare them worse than you ever could."
"Hey, man. Who's that chick?"
"Where?"
"Over there. The one whaling on the heavy bag like it owes her money."
"Oh, she's one of the regulars. I think her name's Max or something."
"She's cute. Is she single?"
"No idea."
"Think I should go say hi?"
"Didn't go too well for the last guy."
"She shoot him down or something?"
"Or something. He wasn't taking a hint, got a little aggressive, and she dropped him."
"Seriously? She's tiny."
"Yeah, but she's fast. Like, freaky fast. Far as I know, no one's ever landed a hit on her."
Max and Ms. Chase
I think you two might be on to something there. I do remember the double-moon that night. Even though I thought it was just an optical illusion, it was still pretty unnerving. Using that in conjunction with a power failure and a storm warning would probably be the best motivator Hannah could manage.
I suggest you do some serious research on how to accomplish both of those, though. This isn't the kind of solution you can just pull out of your hat.
David Madsen
Max: I was just looking at my Google search history and there's no way I'm not on some watch list somewhere.
Victoria: You and me both. Have you gotten a response from the Tillamook county records office yet?
Max: Yesterday. The county never bothered to rebuild the power grid out there, so there wasn't much pushback when I asked for the layout. When I mentioned it was for a book, one of the clerks even took the time to walk me through some of the technical stuff over Skype.
Victoria: That was the last thing we needed, wasn't it?
Max: Yup.
Victoria: Think we're ready?
Max: As we'll ever be.
Hey Max,
I can honestly say that, as crazy as it seems, I think you're done. The latest draft reads pretty well, and I think it's ready to submit to some publishers. Don't get me wrong, I still think this is a crazy longshot. But it's the best crazy longshot it can be, so hopefully that'll be enough.
I just hope some punk-ass editor doesn't decide to kill the stuck-up high school girl after all. (Who I can't believe you decided to name Victoria. Just learn to accept a little constructive criticism, you passive-aggressive bitch.)
TTFN,
Victoria
Kristen: Hello, Ms. Victoria.
Kristen: Permission to be briefly obnoxious?
Ms. Victoria: If you must.
Kristen: Holy shit on a stick!
Kristen: I was just walking across campus between classes and you know what I saw?!
Kristen: One of my favorite professors sitting on a bench having coffee with George Lucas!
Kristen: LIKE IT WASN'T EVEN A FUCKING THING!
Kristen: Then my prof sees me standing there gawking like an idiot
Kristen: SO OF COURSE HE WAVES ME OVER TO INTRODUCE ME TO GEORGE LUCAS!
Kristen: And then he says TO GEORGE LUCAS that I'm,
Kristen: And I quote...
Kristen: "One to keep an eye on."
Kristen: I owe you so so so so so so much for getting me in here!
Kristen: I'm done. Thank you.
Ms. Victoria: While I'm pleased you're happy, I'll remind you that you were accepted on your own merits.
Ms. Victoria: Not because someone 'pulled some strings' for you.
Ms. Victoria: All I did was get a few people looking in your direction. Your hard work and talent did the rest.
Ms. Victoria: Is that clear?
Kristen: Yes, ma'am.
Ms. Victoria: Good girl.
Max
I agree with Ms. Chase. You've done a great job bringing everything together. I'm glad we were able to help. Nothing left now but to put it out there and hope it stands up.
Just remember that whatever publisher you might end up working with will want to make changes. Some might end up being better than what you planned. Some might not. It's up to you to decide where you're willing to compromise. I guarantee you'll have to roll with a few punches if you're going to succeed.
I know that Chloe would be proud of you.
Good luck.
David Madsen
Kristen: And I quote...
Kristen: "One to keep an eye on."
Max: WHAT?! That is so amazing Kris! I'm super jealous!
Kristen: OMG THANK YOU!
Kristen: I told Ms. Victoria that story and all I got was a lecture about self-value.
Kristen: Sometimes I just want her to go squee!
Max: Don't feel bad. She's not really the type.
Kristen: I know. It's just a little frustrating.
Kristen: I love her but I swear she can be so withholding!
Max: You WHAT her?
Kristen: gotta go fold laundry now talk later bye
"Nope."
"Max..."
"Not happening."
"Come on."
"I don't want to get my hair cut."
"I know, but..."
"I've been growing it out for two years, Victoria! I like it! Chloe liked it!"
"I know, Max. But that's the problem, isn't it? Your hair is more than a foot longer than it was at Blackwell. If you don't get it cut back to a bob, then there's no point in disguising yourself at all."
"Maybe I won't disguise myself then. I'm going to be trying to convince people I'm from the future anyway."
"Some people. Not everyone. You can hide your tattoos, for a few days at least. Long hair is a little harder to play off."
"The hair stays."
"Max, you can't just..."
"The hair stays, or I tell literally everyone I meet about your chewing gum thing."
"..."
"I'll do it."
"Fine. Whatever. The hair stays, you big drama queen."
Hi David & Victoria,
Thank you both so, so much. The last couple of months have felt like an uphill battle sometimes, but I couldn't have done it without you!
David – I think she'd be proud of you, too. Joyce, as well. You've made a great life out there, and I know that Joan, and Karen and all the others appreciate having you in their community. Give everyone in Away my best and let them know I'm going to start visiting publishing companies bright and early on October 9th. Just in case they feel like sending a little positive energy my way.
Victoria – Believe it or not, telling me we're out of toilet paper and then asking if you can borrow my latest draft isn't constructive criticism.
,Max
"Never have I ever changed the world for the better."
"Me, either."
"I guess there's a first time for everything."
"I'll drink to that."