Thank you so much for the reviews turquoisedreams and lovefiction2021! I really appreciate them. I also think that the secrets are eating away at both Sofia and Reg, but they both know that in the current political climate in the wizarding world, it's really hard to have a proper relationshiop being who they are :/
sparks fly – taylor swift
"my mind forgets to remind me
you're a bad idea."
The week following spring break passed by in a flash. And soon enough, the Hogwarts Quidditch team travelled to Spain.
The game was happening on Saturday afternoon so they practised in the morning, a practice which Sofia spent agonising over whether she should go over to Regulus and wish him a happy birthday. On the one hand, it didn't seem like he wanted to make a big deal out of it, and on the other, she really wanted to.
She decided to wait in the end. If she brought attention to the fact that it was his birthday, their teammates would probably try to extend well wishes awkwardly and Sofia very much doubted Regulus would want that.
She sat with her Spanish friends Javi and Luis during lunch. Javi looked happy to see her and had greeted her like an old friend even though they had only interacted for a couple of days months back when Spain had played at Hogwarts. It was nice.
Sofia finally gathered the courage to go up to Regulus after lunch was over.
"Hey, can I talk to you for a second?" Sofia asked as Regulus sat on the lunch table not too far from her.
Regulus looked around for a moment. Obviously not used to Sofia approaching him out in public. He nodded and stood.
Sofia led him outside to the greenhouses, where there was a nice seating area. Sofia sat cross-legged, facing Regulus and set her handbag down in front of her.
"Um, happy birthday," Sofia said.
Regulus nodded once. "Thanks."
Sofia opened her bag. "So... um, I wanted to get you something but I didn't know if that would be okay since we're not really... you know. But in the end, I did get you a little something."
"You didn't have to get me anything."
Sofia smiled. "Well, I know I didn't have to but I wanted to. It's nothing, really. I just... you are never going to let this go but I'm actually a pretty good baker."
Regulus's brows went up.
Sofia felt her neck heat up. "I kind of had to learn to bake since I have three younger siblings and my mum cannot make a cake, and I don't know... I kind of like it. It reminds me of potion-making a little bit, baking. So anyway..."
She rummaged through her bag, whose insides had been magically expanded and pulled out a small round cake with green frosting and a happy birthday across it.
Regulus frowned as he looked at the cake and then back at Sofia. "You... made this?"
Sofia nodded. "I wasn't sure what flavour you liked but since you seemed to like strawberry ice cream, I figured to make vanilla sponge and strawberry jam filling."
"I haven't had a birthday cake since I was five or so," he said, almost absent-mindedly.
Sofia's heart squeezed. She knew the same was true for Sirius, but the difference with him was that he'd started getting birthday cakes again the very first year he had started Hogwarts. "Well... I hope this one can live up to expectations."
She stuck a few candles on the cake and waved her wand. "I'm not singing you happy birthday by myself, so, make a wish."
He smiled and blew out the candles.
Sofia pulled out two forks. "Now let's dig in."
"We're not gonna cut it?"
Sofia shrugged. "Well, I didn't plan on sharing with anyone else but I guess..."
He rolled his eyes playfully. "Alright then... hand me that fork."
The Quidditch match happened later that day. Hogwarts won. Sofia's Spanish friends took it surprisingly well. They even invited Sofia and the rest of the team to a small party they were having that night in one of their common rooms.
That was where Sofia was headed now. No one else on the team had really felt like going, so she arrived alone.
Sofia sat on a sofa with Javi and talked while Sofia sipped on some Firewhisky. She was just starting to feel buzzed when she saw none other than Regulus Black arrive downstairs. She perked up. "Regulus! Hey, you showed up!"
He approached them, throwing Javi a dirty look. "Yeah, to tell you to keep it down, some of us are trying to sleep."
Sofia pouted. "Oh come on, don't be a party pooper. You're not a Prefect here, you know."
He frowned. "How much have you had to drink?"
Sofia tried to raise herself up on her knees on the sofa but it was not a good idea, she almost immediately lost her balance and would've toppled over if Javi hadn't snaked a hand around her waist to steady her. "Barely anything, really. You should have a drink!"
Regulus looked broody, Sofia wanted to put a smile on his face. And maybe kiss it. "No, thank you."
The pout came back.
"I'm just going to..." Regulus drifted off. He turned away and Sofia expected him to go back upstairs but he found a chair in one corner and planted himself there.
Sofia smiled at Javi, whose face was suddenly a lot closer than she'd realised. She switched to Spanish. "I swear he's fun when he lets a little loose."
"I'm sure."
"Anyway, what were you saying about the World Cup? I think the French have a good shot this year, I would root for them but... I hate the French."
Javi grinned at her.
They talked about Quidditch some more and Sofia didn't remember how many drinks she'd had.
At some point, another Spanish guy she hadn't met sat on the sofa on her other side. A little too close for comfort. Sofia glanced over at Regulus. There was a vein on his forehead that was seriously threatening to pop. She felt giddy inside even though she knew she shouldn't.
When Javi threw an arm around her shoulders, Regulus shot up from his seat and went over to them. "Alright, I think it's time to go."
"Come on, man. We're having fun, here, leave us alone," The guy whose name Sofia didn't remember said. Sofia didn't exactly like his tone. Maybe Regulus was right.
"It's alright, guys, he just worries," Sofia said. She held out a hand, which Regulus took and pulled her up from the sofa. She almost toppled over.
He put an arm around her waist.
Javi looked worried. "Hey man, I didn't know she was taken, I swear. You should've said something."
Sofia giggled, waiting for Regulus to argue. But he didn't. It almost sobered her up. "It's fine."
He led her up the stairs to the room they had given Sofia and the other two girls in the team to sleep in.
Sofia shook off Regulus before they could reach her door. She leaned against the wall so she wouldn't fall. Upset all of a sudden. "Why would you do that?"
Regulus frowned. "What? Take you away from those sleaze-balls?"
"Javi isn't a sleaze-ball, he's great, but no, that's not what I meant!"
He sighed, then he switched their positions so his back was to the steps instead of hers. "Then what do you mean?"
Sofia felt tears in her eyes. It was not good that she was reaching that state of drunkenness. "Why didn't you correct Javi? When he said that I was taken?"
Regulus's expression remained neutral. "Didn't seem especially important at the moment I guess."
Sofia jabbed at his chest with her finger. "Well, you should have corrected him!"
If Sofia didn't know better, she would have thought a flash of hurt passed through his eyes before settling on stoic once again. "Should I have?" A note of bitterness in his tone.
Sofia squeezed her eyes shut, willing the tears away. She opened them again. There was a deep crease between her brows. "Yes. Yes, because it's cruel and I can't stand it!"
Regulus looked away from her. He took a step forward and took her arm, seemingly determined to get her inside the room now.
Sofia's limbs felt heavy. "It's cruel that you're so cavalier about it when you know that I want you."
Fuck. Did she just say that out loud? She'd been determined for so long not to be the one to admit her feelings for him and now what the hell was she supposed to do? This was the most embarrassing moment of her life.
It was as if time had stopped. Regulus froze in place and didn't move an inch for a good ten seconds. He looked back at Sofia, something undecipherable in his face. His voice was quiet. "What?"
The tears had kept going down her cheeks but Sofia ignored them. "You know that I want you even though you don't want me, and it's cruel to play with my emotions like that."
Regulus seemed at a loss for words. "What... the hell has made you think that I don't want you, Sofia?"
Sofia inhaled sharply. "Well, we've kissed a few times and stuff but it's not like you actually want to..." she struggled to find words, "be with me... I... I hoped maybe you felt the same way as me but... but I'm obviously wrong."
Regulus took a deep breath. "I'm sorry if I've hurt your feelings."
Sofia nodded once. "Apology accepted."
"Just to clarify... you want us to be... together? Properly?" It looked as if it cost him to get the words out.
Sofia knew she would regret it in the morning probably but she nodded. She bit her lip. "Well... obviously not exactly publicly since I don't want either of us to get hate-crimed at school but... yes, I want this. I want it so much it scares me."
Regulus nodded. His stoic mask back on. "Alright."
Then he opened the door to her room, led her to her bed and left.
Sofia felt like shit the next day. And not just because of her god-awful hangover. She sincerely hoped her drunken confession to Regulus last night was just a hallucination.
Sunglasses shielded her face as she walked with Chloe towards the town centre for their day off to explore.
"Did Regulus Black come into our room and tuck you into bed last night or did I dream that?" Chloe asked.
Sofia groaned. "Don't remind me."
"Honestly, I'm totally rooting for you guys, I think the whole tortured Slytherin and spunky Gryffindor thing is totally cute."
Sofia grimaced. "Chloe, no."
"In fact, if you guys wanted to sneak off on our day off like you did back in Russia, I would totally be fine with that."
Sofia felt herself go red. Chloe had noticed? "What? No, of course not."
"Is that your final answer? Because Regulus is coming over here right now," there was a hint of excitement in Chloe's voice.
Sofia's eyes widened and she spotted Regulus, who was indeed walking over to them. She wanted to hide under a rock.
"Hello, Chloe. Sofia," he said. "Can I talk to you... privately?"
Sofia didn't reply, and Chloe nudged her forwards.
"Sure she will," Chloe replied for Sofia.
Then Chloe stalked right off. Traitor, thought Sofia.
Sofia started walking beside Regulus, a little reluctantly.
They walked side by side in silence for a while. But the silence just made her think about last night. Some things were a little blurry but she was pretty damn sure she had said some very needy, desperate things about wanting him to be her boyfriend and he had ignored her before dumping her in her room and leaving.
Then Sofia noticed something.
"Is this... the Muggle part of town?"
"I thought you'd like to see it," Regulus said.
He led her to a noble old building, which had been turned into a small art gallery.
Sofia looked at the paintings carefully. They were mostly landscapes, by some Spanish artists she'd never heard of.
Regulus discreetly took out his wand and unlocked a room that wasn't open to the public.
There was one big painting leaning against a wall and a large window looked out from the second floor into the courtyard, where a pretty fountain sat amidst some plants. Sofia observed it for a moment, determined not to look at Regulus.
"I've been thinking about what you said yesterday," Regulus said.
"You mean when I was drunk?" Sofia looked out the window, trying to keep her voice steady and at the ready to deny absolutely everything.
"I know you were drunk but... was it a lie? When you said you wanted to... be with me?"
Sofia thought for a second. She continued to stare out the window, and she felt all her excuses and guards dissolve. She knew she couldn't lie to him at that moment. Maybe this would be easier if she didn't look at him at all. "I like that term... to be with someone. I..." she sucked in a breath, "I like being with you, and yes, I would very much like to just... exist with you. I'd like to talk to you all the time, and to kiss you whenever I want, and to hold your hand as long as I can. I'm not very good at talking about my feelings so... I don't really know what else I can say."
"I'm not very good at feelings either," he said. "But I think I like that idea too."
Sofia should've smiled. But she felt like crying.
"I just didn't think you thought this was a good idea."
"I don't," she replied sharply. Then her tone softened."But sometimes my mind forgets to remind me."
He took a deep breath. "My mum... she said that I should be joining You-Know-Who as soon as the summer holiday lets out."
Sofia's shoulders drooped. She hated this so much. She wanted to take his hand and run as far from all this as they could.
"But I don't think I will."
That made her turn around. Regulus's eyes looked pained but there was a certain calmness behind them.
"Really?" Sofia asked.
"I'll have to find a way to... to go about this. Earlier in the school year, I was still in close contact with a few well-respected Death Eaters and I doubt they will be very happy I've changed my mind. It might take some time."
"I'll help you."
He seemed slightly taken aback but Sofia had no idea why. Surely he didn't think she wouldn't want to help him.
"You don't have to—"
She sighed. She took his hand gingerly. "I want to. I want to help you, Regulus. Please let me help you."
His gaze dropped to the floor. "You're too good to me, love. I don't deserve it."
Sofia scoffed. "Stop saying stupid things and kiss me. Or I might burst into flames."
He looked up at her and smiled wider than Sofia had ever seen him do.
He leaned down and kissed her. It was slow at first. Sofia welcomed it. His lips moved against hers and she found that she had really missed those lips. He draped a hand around her waist and softly pressed against her. The way their lips moved together made her think he had been made specifically for her and she for him.
Sofia found that she quite liked this soft, slow kiss. It wasn't rushed or stolen or hidden. He kissed her like they had all the time in the world.