starry starry night — lianne la havas

'this world was never meant for one

as beautiful as you.'

Sofia held Vanya's hand in hers tightly. She had debated not letting him come but he needed to be here. Otherwise, he might never get closure.

Sofia couldn't stop staring at the casket. It was made of dark polished wood. Tasteful. Tony had always had good taste.

Vanya had been surprisingly really good about the situation. Probably since they had been preparing him for this moment a long time. He let go of Sofia's hand and went up to the casket. Sofia heard him whisper something, his little hand clinging to the side of the coffin.

Her seven-year-old brother could look at their father like it was no big deal but Sofia was petrified. She couldn't see him. The last time she'd seen him he'd been sickeningly thin, his skin sallow, she didn't imagine he'd look much different now.

"Are you gonna..." Vanya trailed off as he returned to Sofia's side.

"In a minute. You can go with Mami if you want," Sofia said and Vanya ran off. She wanted to tell him not to run but her throat was too tight for words to come out.

She was determined not to leave that spot until she saw him. She'd already gone up a bunch of times only to walk away, not gathering the courage to do it.

She felt a hand fall softly on her shoulder. She didn't turn around immediately. It was a small wake, there were only so many people it could be; a family member, or Sirius, maybe one of the ballerinas in attendance. Sofia finally turned and maybe part of her had been expecting it because she wasn't all that surprised to see him.

Regulus didn't speak, just looked at Sofia, his condolence in his eyes. Sofia turned back to the casket. If she took another step forward she would see him. It was so easy. Just move an inch forward.

Sofia's hand went up almost involuntarily and settled on Regulus's. He removed it from her shoulder so he could hold her hand properly. She latched onto it like a lifeline.

She stepped forward.

She took a shuddering breath. There he was.

"Bye, papa." It was barely a whisper.

She stepped back. Tears escaped her eyes. She stood there for a long time. Holding on to Regulus's hand. Then someone else came into the room and she felt Regulus slip away.

She tried to look for him once she finally walked away from the casket but he was nowhere to be seen. Sofia started thinking she might have imagined him. How the hell would he even have found out her dad had died? And why would he travel all the way to Russia for the funeral? Maybe she was going insane.

They buried him later. There was no church service as that had been his wish. Tony had felt like they should say a few words though. He stood on the muddy dirt, the sky overcast above him. Sofia had no idea how he was holding it together so well.

He'd asked her to say a few words as well but Sofia felt like she'd break down into sobs if she even opened her mouth.

Natasha tugged on Sofia's arm. "Sonya, come one. Tony wants you to say something, for all of us."

Sofia felt sick. She was the eldest. She should probably go up. Say something for them.

Sofia walked up to the spot where Tony stood at the front with shaky legs.

Tony hugged her, before standing to the side, giving her the floor.

Sofia looked at the faces of her extended family, her father's friends and co-workers. She took a deep breath. "I... I'm not very good with words, I'm sorry... but I was lucky enough to be able to say to my father everything I needed to before he went. He was compassionate and upstanding, and brave I hope he knew Roman, Natasha, Vanya, and I loved him very much."

And not five minutes later, the casket was lowered into the earth and Sofia's father was gone.

Regulus first took notice of his brother's presence in the house by his mother's shrieks.

"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING HERE? COME CRAWLING BACK TO US HAVE YOU!"

Regulus barely had to do much deducting to figure out who was at the door. He didn't exactly feel like dealing with all that right now, but if he didn't intervene, things might go south bad.

He made his way downstairs at a snail's pace. His mother was still shrieking, with his father doing a very poor job of holding her back.

Regulus knew what the expression on Sirius's face would look like before he came into view. Sirius's jaw was clenched so hard it was a wonder his teeth hadn't been ground into dust. There was a dark look on his face even as he ignored Walburga.

Sirius looked directly at Regulus. "I need to talk to you."

Their mother screeched like a banshee. "You will not speak to him! You have somehow already corrupted him enough that he's wasting his chance to serve the Dark Lord!"

That gave Sirius a pause. He looked back at his mother with a questioning look on his face, but he didn't speak. He turned back to Regulus. "We need to talk."

Regulus let out a small sigh. He had no idea how Sirius knew that Walburga had forced Regulus to go home for Easter because she didn't trust him anymore. Regulus would've only hesitated to leave Hogwarts because that way he wouldn't be able to see Sofia every day, even if it was just to have visual confirmation that she was okay, but she hadn't returned to school after the funeral in late March. Regulus looked over Sirius's shoulder to his mother. "It will be fine, Mother. I promise."

Walburga's face went a deep shade of red but Regulus had already turned around and started walking up the stairs.

Sirius was hesitant, but he followed. They walked into Regulus's room and if Sirius noticed the sudden lack of Voldemort related paraphernalia, he didn't comment on it.

Sirius faced his brother with his arms crossed over his chest, a closed-off look on his face.

Regulus raised an expectant brow. "So? What did you need to tell me so badly you actually came into this house?"

Sirius took a breath. He took a long look at his brother. "You're not a Death Eater?"

Regulus didn't even flinch. His face a mask of indifference. "No."

Sirius sighed deeply and raised a hand to pinch the bridge of his nose. "I really don't fucking understand you, Regulus."

Regulus held in an eye roll. "What don't you understand?"

Sirius chuckled drily. "One day you're going out with a Muggleborn, then you turn around and dump her to become a perfect little Death Eater, and then you suddenly decide to pull your head out of Voldemort's arse. Have you no loyalty... no allegiance to anything? Are you just changing sides depending on your own convenience?"

Regulus's gaze darkened. He stood perfectly still. "I have no allegiance to the Death Eaters or the Order of the Phoenix, you are right about that," he paused. "But my allegiance does lie elsewhere."

Sirius scoffed. "And where is that?"

"My only allegiance lies with Sofia."

If Sirius was surprised by the words, he didn't show it. "You've a funny way of showing it," he said quietly.

Regulus's jaw clenched. "Is that the reason you came here? To accuse me of being a disloyal shit?"

Sirius took a breath. "Listen... I have no fucking idea what goes on in that fucked-up little head of yours but... you had no right... no right to show up at Mr Bessonov's funeral like that. You're just gonna keep hurting Sofia."

Regulus had hoped Sirius didn't know about that. "I don't expect you to understand what happened between us, or how I feel about her. But Sofia knows I care for her, hence my attending her father's wake, she didn't seem to mind my being there."

"You can't really think that... It's not as if you haven't done enough damage just by associating yourself with her in the past."

Regulus frowned. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"So, you're telling me the attack on her family had absolutely nothing to do with you?"

Regulus went very still. He looked at his brother carefully. "I won't deny that... if I'd never come into the picture, she might be in a different situation right now, but... you're a fool if you think every decision I make isn't in order to protect her and her family."

Sirius searched Regulus's eyes. "Well, you're not doing a great job of it, are you?"

"I need not explain myself to you." He paused to consider whether to admit this to Sirius or not. He sighed. "But that was a one-off. They were trying to scare her, it won't happen again."

A crease formed between Sirius's brows. "You know who did it?"

"I do."

Sirius raised a brow. "So?"

Regulus sighed exasperatedly. "I can't tell you who it was, but as I said, it won't happen again."

Sirius searched his brother's eyes. After a beat, he said, "it was Travers, wasn't it?"

If Regulus was surprised by the guess, he didn't show it. "Why would you think that?"

"He hated Sofia more than enough at school, and I'm pretty sure he's a Death Eater."

Regulus only hesitated for a second. "Yes. It was him."

Sirius's eyes had softened but they still held a degree of hostility. "What did you do?"

Regulus scoffed. "What did I do?"

"Well, you seem a little too sure that Sofia and her family are perfectly safe from him, you must have a reason for that. Just tell me what you did."

Regulus glared at Sirius. "You know what I did! I got engaged to Eliana."

Sirius took a breath as he ran his hands through his face. "You're meaning to tell me... that you exchanged the Black family name for Sofia's safety?"

Regulus swallowed thickly. The only person who knew was Travers himself. Regulus thought everything would be much better if no one else knew. Easier for Sofia to just... forget him. To let time heal her broken heart. But he couldn't deny he felt something like relief at telling Sirius. "I don't think... Sofia even realises how much humiliation she caused Travers last year... or how much more vindictive he's become after joining the Death Eaters. He would've killed her and her family, I'm sure of it. But funnily enough, if there's one thing Travers loves on this earth it's his sister... and that gave Sofia some leverage over him... because she had me... and the thing Eliana Travers wanted most was me. It was a no-brainer, really."

Sirius's glare cut through Regulus like a knife. "And why the fuck didn't you tell Sofia about all this?"

"Because she would've tried to stop me."

"She doesn't need you to protect her."

Regulus was unfazed. "Sofia is a very clever and capable witch, I know that perfectly well. But she cannot go up against the army of Death Eaters Travers could gather by herself, that's just a fact. I know she can take care of herself but if Travers did what he was planning to do..." he shook his head. "There was a very big chance of things ending badly. And I could not take that chance. I've been a ...coward for so long, as you have not tired of reminding me. I've never done anything good for anyone. But I wanted... I wanted to do this one good deed... for her."

Sirius went quiet. He looked at his brother like he was seeing a brand new person. "What I still don't understand is... why did you have to break her heart like that?"

"Do you think she would've let me do this if I told her the truth?"

Sirius took a second to gather his thoughts. He was still tense, but this was still the most relaxed he'd been since entering Grimmauld Place. "I understand, Reg. I understand why you wanted to do this for her. But I know for a fact that she offered her help. She offered to help you run. She knew people would go after you if you deserted the Death Eaters before you even got the Dark Mark, and it wouldn't help that she's a Muggleborn. But she was willing to face all of this, every Death Eater, for you... with you."

Regulus shook his head, a knot in his throat. "I couldn't let her do that. If I deserted and they knew I was with her, they'd go after us relentlessly. I couldn't take her away from her family."

The look on Sirius's face was almost amused. "She's a Muggleborn, she was always going to have to go on the run eventually... and as much as it will pain her to be away from her family, she was willing to do it, she wanted to do it... just to be with you. Doesn't that mean something to you?"

Regulus avoided his brother's eyes.

"You should've told her. You could've figured this out together."

Regulus would rather die than admit Sirius was right so he stayed quiet. He sighed heavily. "It's too late now, either way."

Sirius shrugged one shoulder. "I don't see a ring on your finger yet. Maybe it's not too late."

Regulus almost let out a laugh at the words he never thought would come out of his brother's mouth. But he just shook his head. His shoulders sagged, as if he were too tired to hold himself up. A weary look in his eyes. "It's too late, Sirius... I made an Unbreakable Vow."