AN: Hi I'm sorry updates have been kinda slow, I just really don't want this story to end bc I'm gonna miss Sofia and Regulus so much :( not to mention YOU GUYS (also bc I rewrote the entire ending). Sometimes posting a story online feels like I'm just screaming into the void so believe me when I say all your reviews are extremely appreciated, they always make my day ! I love y'all 💖

speak now – taylor swift

'don't say yes, run away now.'

Sofia spent the next months in a sort of limbo. She thought of Regulus constantly. She hadn't seen him since her father's funeral since she hadn't returned to Hogwarts after that.

She stayed with Sirius during that time and she missed her family terribly but she felt like she had to stay in England for some time to be sure no one could trace her back to them.

Sirius went out on Order business a lot, and she worried, but he always returned. Sometimes he'd have a haunted look in his eyes and Sofia worried that he was doing too much. But he didn't seem to want to slow down.

Sofia knew that the Hogwarts graduation had happened only a few days earlier. And she knew that that meant Regulus's wedding was happening at any moment. She liked to pretend like she was completely over Regulus, and she thought she was doing a pretty great job of convincing Sirius of it.

But if he had been convinced of it, he surely wasn't anymore since Sofia had spent the last three days holed up in her room, sulking and trying not to fall apart.

It was a Sunday afternoon when Sirius wasn't busy for once that he dragged Sofia out of her room and told her about speaking with Regulus over Easter break. Sofia didn't speak for the longest time. She just sat on the sofa quietly, with her legs pulled up to her chest. What Sirius said made sense. And she had suspected something like that before. She just wished Regulus had told her.

"You okay?" Sirius asked gingerly.

Sofia chuckled almost involuntarily. "I guess... it just confuses me and... angers me that he never thought to tell me any of this. I think that we could've figured things out together."

Sirius sighed deeply. He ran a hand through his hair. "I am going to tell you something about my brother, that I know you will get your hopes up about the two of us reconciling and shit after I say it, so I'm telling you now not to... My brother has many character flaws, his biggest one is that he always, always refuses to ask for help. Partly, because of how we were raised... to never show anyone weakness no matter what. He thinks he can deal with everything himself. He probably didn't want to tell you because he thought you'd offer help... and in his eyes, getting help means weakness and cowardice and other bullshit we were fed.

"Yes, what he did was wrong, and you probably shouldn't forgive him for it... but if I know anything about Regulus, it is that he'd sooner die than accept anyone's help."

Sofia thought for a moment. "Not even if someone is pretty much begging him to let them help him?"

Sirius chuckled. "Believe me... I've been in your position before. I... tried so hard to help him deal with our parents. And when I left, I... I fucking begged him to come with me, to let me help him. I knew he was miserable in that house, I knew he wanted to leave. But he still said no."

Sofia nodded slowly. "I understand. But I guess I'm just tired of... all of this. I wish things weren't so fucking irreparably broken beyond repair but... it's too late now."

It was too late. Because he'd made a fucking Unbreakable Vow. Without telling her. But Sofia would be lying if she said what Sirius told her didn't give her some relief. She had suspected before that there was something he wasn't telling her about the situation surrounding their breakup, but she'd had no way of knowing for sure. At least now she knew the truth. Even if it still made her angry to think of the lies and the very real hurt he'd caused her. She couldn't help the wave of love she felt for him. For how fiercely he'd wanted to protect her and her family. God, could she ever find anyone like that again?

Sofia took a deep breath. He had made his choice. And now they both had to live with it.

It was a few days later that Sofia walked into the kitchen in the morning and found a note with the name of a pub she and Sirius frequented and a time. She sighed deeply. She should go. They hadn't been in a while... and she needed to show him that she was totally fine.

Begrudgingly, Sofia put on clothes that couldn't double for sleep clothes for the first time in over a week. Sirius had been out on Order business all day, and he'd surely meet her at the pub. They'd done that before.

Sofia walked into the pub and her heart dropped to her stomach. God, it was embarrassing that she'd spotted him so easily even when she wasn't actively looking for him. She stood at the doorway, frozen. She told herself to just turn around and leave, she could easily do it. But her feet remained glued to the floor.

She couldn't have stood there for longer than five seconds, but in that time, he turned his head and spotted her.

There was heartbreak in his eyes, and Sofia longed for the days when those grey eyes had sparkled with joy, a joy she'd once been the cause of.

He stood.

Sofia lowered her gaze so she wouldn't cry. She nodded once towards a door to her left and walked towards it, hoping he'd catch her drift.

It was a side exit that Sofia shouldn't have known was there, but she had been in the pub enough times to notice it. It led to the alley beside the building, only lit by two lonely streetlights on either side.

Regulus closed the door behind him and faced Sofia.

She crossed her arms over her chest, as if she could physically shut her feelings out. "What are you doing here?"

He looked at her for a long second. "Sirius asked me to meet him here."

Sofia couldn't help a scoff. "Of course he did."

It was almost ironic how she'd wanted Sirius to approve of their relationship so bad and now he decided to get on board. Sofia almost joked about it out loud to Regulus but had to remind herself they weren't anything anymore. Not lovers, not friends. Not anything.

Regulus took a deep breath. "I think he wants us to talk."

Sofia didn't bother saying anything to that. "Shouldn't you be getting ready for your wedding?"

Something flashed in Regulus's eyes. He took a tiny step back. "It's tomorrow."

Her eyes widened. Her chest felt tight all of a sudden. She felt like she might spontaneously combust any second now. "Oh... I didn't—Does Sirius know?"

"I don't think so."

Sofia looked anywhere but at him. She hugged her arms closer to her body. "Well, the more reason you should be getting ready, right? It's five already, you probably shouldn't be out too late."

It took him a second to answer. "I am getting married, but I've established with Eliana and with my mother that I won't be going along with any of their ridiculous rituals. We're going down to the Ministry tomorrow morning and signing the papers, and that's it."

Sofia wished those words didn't get such a huge weight off her chest, but they did. She chuckled drily. "You know... all this week I've been imagining... just showing up at your wedding and bursting in when the preacher said speak now or forever hold your peace... and telling you to run away with me... like a fucking sappy telenovela or something." Another dry laugh. "It's so fucking stupid, and I wish my brain had never come up with that particular scenario, but it's all that's been running through my head."

Regulus looked at her with those eyes and Sofia could tell he was trying to hold it together. Maybe she shouldn't have said anything.

"I would've said yes. I would've done anything you asked of me, Sofia. I still would," he said.

A knot formed in Sofia's throat. "Don't—don't say that."

"It's the truth."

Sofia took a step back. There was venom in her voice. "Stop. If you don't marry her you're going to fucking die, so no, I'm not going to ask you not to do it."

They were quiet for a few seconds.

"Sirius told you everything?" He asked.

Sofia nodded slowly. "You should've told me. You should've told me from the moment Travers said anything about me to you. The moment he mentioned my family."

Regulus took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, Sofia. I could've handled the situation better, I know that. But I don't regret what I did... Travers had it out for you," he shook his head. "Yes, he was bad at Hogwarts, but you haven't seen him since joining the Death Eaters... he's turned into a monster. It's a miracle he still somehow cared enough about his sister to strike that deal with me... and if we hadn't done an Unbreakable Vow... there's no way he would've held up his end of the bargain. I'm sorry I had to lie to you, but I'm not sorry for what I did if it was the thing that kept you and your family safe."

Why did he have to say things like that. Sofia swallowed thickly. "And I appreciate that you would do that for me... I don't want you to think I don't, because it was incredibly selfless of you... but by not telling me about Travers, you took away my agency, I wasn't even aware Travers was coming after me... I would've gotten my family out of the country sooner... I could've saved them the fucking trauma of being attacked by Death Eaters, even if they all made it out relatively unscathed."

Regulus flinched, averting his eyes. "And I am truly sorry for that, you have no idea how much. I realise now that I should've at least warned you about Travers. That was my own mistake, and I hope you and your family can forgive me for it one day."

Sofia sighed softly, relaxing her arms. She was tired of fighting. So fucking tired. Even if she was still mad at him, what he had done for her... that was an act of pure love. It had let her know that he'd never really abandoned her. That he'd never stopped loving her. She took a step towards him. Even if it was too late.

"What are you doing?" Regulus asked, slightly alarmed.

"Would you just stay still?"

She closed the gap between them and slowly wrapped her arms around his neck in a hug. She took a deep breath and let herself bask in the feel of him. She never thought she could miss someone this much. She felt his arms go around her middle, pressing her softly into his chest.

A tear streaked down Sofia's cheek. "I love you," she whispered it in such a low voice, she thought he might not have heard.

"You shouldn't," he said.

"I know."

They went quiet, still holding on to each other.

Sofia pressed her forehead into Regulus's shoulder and he leaned his head down to whisper in her ear. "You know, I meant what I said. If you asked me not to marry Eliana, I wouldn't go through with it."

Sofia almost rolled her eyes. "I thought we'd established that you'd die if you did that."

It took him a few seconds to respond. "Yeah... I'm starting to think that might not be such a bad alternative."

That made Sofia pull away from him, just enough so that she could look him in the eye. "What the hell is wrong with you? Don't fucking say that."

To his credit, Regulus did at least look a bit bashful. "I'm sorry, I'm just... this past months with Eliana... I try to be patient with her because I know this is not her fault, and she doesn't even know about the Vow, but she really gets on my fucking nerves sometimes."

"Well, I guess you'll get used to her." Sofia detached herself from him and took a step back. "Did the Vow stipulate how long you have to stay married for?" Just asking for a friend.

Regulus looked tired all of a sudden. "Until either of us dies."

The knot reformed in Sofia's throat. "Well... you should probably get back home soon. If the wedding's in the morning."

There was something unreadable in Regulus's eyes. "I know that... we can't have any form of a relationship after this but... right now, if you let me, I'd like to spend these last hours before... with you. We don't have to talk if you don't want to. You don't even have to look at me. I just want to sit with you."

Sofia bit her lip. "In this dirty alley?"

A smile tugged at Regulus's lips and Sofia almost felt like everything would be alright in the world. "If it's the only place where we can... yeah. We can go inside if you'd like."

"No," Sofia said a little too quickly. I don't want to share you right now, she left unsaid. "This is fine."

She pulled out her wand and charmed a few bricks on the wall to make a small bench. They sat.

Regulus was quiet for a few minutes before saying, "Would it... really be that upsetting to you if I died?"

Sofia turned to stare at him with an incredulous look in her eyes. Was he on drugs right now? She didn't even know what to say to him, she just gaped at him for a few seconds. "Would you be upset if I died?"

He wasn't overjoyed by that answer. He frowned. "I just... I didn't expect you to react like that when I joked about preferring the alternative I have to marrying Eliana."

Sofia scoffed. They'd just made up and now he was making her mad again. "Why are we even talking about this? Are you planning on killing yourself?"

He didn't answer straight away and looked away from her. And all of a sudden Sofia felt like the floor had been pulled out from under her. Her hands went cold. She searched Regulus's face. "You're not going to kill yourself."

She phrased it like a question but it wasn't.

"No, of course not," he finally said. "But..."

Sofia wanted to wring his neck. "But what! You're not going to fucking kill yourself, Black. I will make you marry that bitch, I'll force you to sign those papers myself even if it shatters my heart all over again, I don't give a fuck. You're doing it."

He took her hands in his. "Calm down. I'm not committing suicide." He waited for her to take some deep breaths. "But there is something you should know."

He was stressing her out so much. "What is it?"

He took a deep breath. "There's something I have to do tonight."

Sofia looked at him expectantly.

"My mother has... she's forced me to go to a few Death Eater meetings. I went along because I didn't think it really mattered anymore... since you were gone. But I... I think Voldemort likes me... or at least likes the idea of having a Black at his command. He wants me to join right away. He... asked me to do something to prove my loyalty to him. It didn't seem like much to ask at first so I did it. But then I realised that what I did made me privy to a very dark secret of his."

Sofia's hands were cold. "What did he ask you to do?"

"He borrowed my family's house elf, Kreacher. He needed help hiding something valuable to him, I'm not sure what it does, but it's a locket. He took Kreacher to this cave... he wanted to test the wards he'd put up to protect this... thing. He left Kreacher to die there, but he didn't realise how powerful elf magic can be. And Kreacher made it, and told me what happened." He shook his head. "I was so... angry... I thought I might... it's a stupid plan but I think I might actually steal the locket he hid and destroy it. Even if it kills me... that way at least I will have done one thing right in this life."

He looked at Sofia with weary eyes. "I'm not trying to kill myself... but I'm honestly not too sure I'll make it out of that cave. What Kreacher told me happened... it's a miracle he survived."

Sofia's eyes brimmed with tears. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. "And you're doing this by yourself?"

"Kreacher will come with me."

Sofia tried to get air down her lungs. "I'll come with you."

Regulus leaned his elbows on his knees. "You can't, Sofia. I can't risk that. I can't risk you."

"I don't care what you say. Two wands are better than one. I'll come with you."

Regulus gave her a soft look. "Sofia... you know I love you... and you're an absolute genius at potions, no one comes close to you there, not me, not anyone in our generation. But... well, defensive magic is not exactly your forte."

Sofia almost let out a laugh. He was so cute trying to delicately tell her she sucked at Defense. Which... well, he was right. She could hold her own... kind of, but no, she wasn't very good at it. Sofia thought for a second. "Let Sirius come with you, then."

Regulus made a face. "No, I can't ask that of him."

"He's training to be an Auror. He can actually really help you. He'll want to help you."

"Sofia."

Sofia's jaw clenched. "Please. Let me do this for you. Sirius loves you, even if you pretend otherwise. He was hurt you refused his help before... he'll do this for you, even if it doesn't mend your relationship."

He sighed.

"Regulus. You know I'm not one for rebellions and fighting dark wizards, but... I understand why you want to do this. And maybe you don't care if you die, but I do. If you die... I might never recover. Don't you think you've hurt me enough?"

Even Sofia could tell that was a low shot as she said it.

"Alright," Regulus said.

"I don't mean to guilt-trip you," Sofia hurried to say. "And I don't know if I haven't expressed myself clearly enough in the past but... I love you so fucking much. I don't know what I could say to make you realise how deeply and desperately I love you. So, you're going to accept Sirius's help, and you'll get this locket thing... and tomorrow morning, I'll drive you down to the Ministry myself if I have to."

"I've seen you drive those Muggle deathtraps... that is not happening."

Sofia rolled her eyes, more relaxed now. "Fine, I'll deposit you in the chimney myself or whatever."

Regulus ran a thumb through the back of Sofia's hand. "You know if Voldemort realises what we've done... he'll come after us with all he's got."

"Well... it's not like he's such a fan of Sirius now. And you and Eliana can go into hiding. Out of the country. But... it's not like we know for sure he'll realise. Let's cross that bridge when we get to it, alright?"

Regulus nodded. "Alright."

Sofia stood. "Well, let's go then."

Regulus frowned. "What? Right now?"

"I mean, if you're still insisting on doing this today."

Regulus nodded solemnly.

"Well, then we should go tell Sirius. I'll bet he's home by now."

After a second, Regulus stood too. He squeezed Sofia's hand. "Let's go."