Disclaimer: I do not own Mass Effect or any of its characters. They are products of BioWare, EA and certainly not me. This fan fiction is for entertainment purposes; no profit or intrusion of copyright is intended.

Shepard tied the secondary ammo pouch around his left arm, securing it in place as he walked through the tunnel of the third deck of the Normandy towards the battery room. He paused before the door at the end of the corridor and waved his hand over the sensor to enter. Garrus stood at the console, checking the calibrations of the weapons system. The turian grunted. "Shepard. There's a lot to do. Come back later."

"I came to ask you to accompany me back into Nos Astra. While we're here, we might as well find this assassin."

Garrus paused and looked down the weapons corridor then turned to eye the commander warily. "Who are we going with?"

Shepard crossed his arms over his chest, casually leaning into a hip as he eyed Garrus through his visor. "That's why I'm asking you. Who would you like to go?"

Garrus waited, gaze steady as he assessed the situation. "That's not my decision, Shepard. This is your mission and I'm along for the ride."

Shepard paced towards the railing at the edge of the console. "You know who I'd bring. But then you won't come and I want you with me. I need you at my back going after an assassin and if you don't trust my other squad mate, we're going to get ourselves killed."

"Oh no no," Garrus shook his head. "We're not starting this again. Don't put words in my mouth." He sighed. "Look, it's not that I don't trust Miranda. I do. She's a great fighter and I have no doubt in her ability." He paused in reflection before admitting. "I don't trust your ability and judgment when she's in your squad."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Shepard snapped then lifted a hand, closing his eyes. "Sorry. Sorry, just … explain."

"Just like that," Garrus stated with a wave of his hand. "Your passion for that woman is greater than for the mission. You're my friend, Shepard. That's why I'm saying this to you. You seem to be making a habit of getting involved with the women of your crew. But with Williams and T'Soni it wasn't nearly this detrimental to your abilities. Remember on Ilos, the security complex. All those Geth."

Shepard nodded solemnly.

"Williams fell … remember? The rocket."

"Yeah," Shepard whispered.

"You pulled her out of the crossfire. But that was it. You finished the battle because it's what had to be done. I want you to think ahead. Think about where we could possibly go on this crazy ass mission you sucked me into." Garrus smirked in an attempt to lighten his words. "If Lawson falls on a collector ship. What would you do?"

"Save her." Shepard answered without hesitation, then quickly continued. "I'd save any of you. I won't sacrifice you to the collectors."

"But at what cost, Shepard? You left Alenko behind because you had to make that difficult decision. Could you have left Williams behind?"

"I … I couldn't pick Ash. Kaidan was my friend but I just … I couldn't leave her with the bomb."

"Now think ahead again. You have to leave someone behind on a collector vessel. Me … or Lawson." Garrus held up a hand to silence Shepard. "Don't answer that. I already know who you'd pick even though you won't admit it."

"That's not true." Shepard defended. "I'd stay behind. I'd save you both. I'm not sacrificing a friend again. I won't do it."

"Sometimes, it doesn't work that way."

Quiet for nearly a minute, Shepard turned his head slightly to look at Garrus. "I saved her life. I saved yours back on Omega."

"I know. I have a suggestion. Leave her on the ship while we go after the assassin. Get your emotions in check. Hell or go after her now and get it out of your system so I don't need to watch you pacing like a beast ready to pounce."

Shepard laughed. "It is not that simple." Shaking his head, he sobered. "Miranda has come with me on almost every mission. We're in sync. A good team. I know how she moves, how she fights and she understands the same of me."

"One mission isn't going to change that."

"No, no you're right." Shepard pushed off the railing. "Get your stuff and meet me at the airlock in ten minutes. And get Jacob to come with us. He hasn't been off the ship in a while and is probably itching for a change of scenery."

Garrus smiled with a nod. "Can do, Shepard. Good luck."

With determination, Shepard left the battery room for Miranda's office. Intent on his decision, he waved a hand over the sensor to her door and stepped inside. Miranda stood just past her desk by her bed, her back to the door. Her shoulders pinched as she looked down to zipper up the side of her tight suit then button the flap over the front. She glanced back over her shoulder at him. "Ah, commander. I'll be ready in two minutes."

Shepard swallowed hard, eyes focused on her. Perhaps Garrus was right. Just looking at her nearly crippled him, hazed his mind with desire. He needed to get the lust out of his system before it distracted him enough to kill him.

Miranda placed a foot on the nearby table by her couch to fasten the thigh high boots then load the necessary clips for her pistol along the side of the boot. She repeated the process with the other leg.

"I uhm … I needed to talk to you, Miranda." He stepped further into her quarters, raising a hand to stop her. "You don't need to keep getting ready. I'm taking Garrus and Jacob."

She paused and looked up at him, heeled boot still planted firmly on the table.

"I know you usually come with me and I love having you on my team when I'm in combat. We move like one." He grinned, eyes playful as he let them linger on her thigh then down to her boot. "In combat, that is." He cleared his throat and chuckled then crossed his arms in an attempt to appear controlled. "But I need heavy fire power with me and Garrus is the best I got. And Jacob hasn't been off the ship in a long time. I'm sure he'd like his legs stretched for a bit."

She watched his reaction and his eyes the entire time then lowered her foot from the table to walk towards him. "Alright, I suppose that makes sense. Jacob has been a bit antsy lately. I'd have cabin fever too was I in his position."

Shepard released the breath he held slowly and smiled. "Good. While you're here, I need your help. I have a few major upgrades for the Normandy I have pending through our research terminal. I'd like you to see which ones are the most important and have the crew get started. We have to get the ship's defenses up and upgraded as soon as possible. We don't know when we'll see the collector's again and I want to be ready when it happens."

"Of course, Commander," Miranda nodded. "Would you like to focus on offensive or defensive abilities first?"

"Defensive." Shepard answered. "A big gun won't do us any good if they breathe on us and the hull breaches." He stepped aside as she walked past him to sit at her desk and she brought up the research terminal information. He followed her then placed his hands on her desk beside her, leaning over to look at the display. He pointed to the third option on the screen. "Here is where I pulled some of them aside. Talk to Mordin, see what he thinks too. I trust both of you to make the best decision on what we need. Oh I also had him research into upgrading better ammunition for your submachine gun. Thought you'd appreciate that."

"I do, Commander," Miranda responded with a smile. "Thank you. They were not very effective against some of the stronger armors and shields on the mercs."

"I know. I need my team at their best." He pushed up and rested a hand on her shoulder. "If there are any other advanced upgrades you need, let me know. I don't know what to look for to help your biotics."

"You've been doing just fine, Commander. The few that you've acquired so far have already been a large help."

"But still. I value your opinion, Miranda. I trust you. I'll be back soon."

"Good luck, Commander." Miranda watched him as he left the room, the door whooshing closed behind him.

When the door closed, the tablet on her desk flickered to life. The illusive man appeared, legs crossed in his usual seated position, a smoldering cigarette resting between two fingers. "Miranda."

"Sir," she eyed the tablet image then continued with her work, inspecting the upgrades.

"Tell me, do you feel the Lazarus project is a success?"

"Yes, sir. Without hesitation. He has all of his combat abilities and the same charisma to lead this entire crew on a suicide mission to the mouth of hell. And the crew, they are happy with him. Morale is high and people are positive."

The illusive man exhaled and paused in thought before completely changing the conversation. "I sent information regarding the Shadow Broker to Shepard's message box some time ago. See that he gives it to Liara T'Soni."

"Of course. What information is it?"

"Information she has been looking for. I'm certain that Shepard will not turn down her request for help once she sees what we have to offer." He snuffed out his cigarette. "Shepard's faith in Cerberus is wavering. This cannot happen. We have different motives, Shepard and I, but we have the same goal. I need him. He needs me. We cannot have him going rogue."

"I understand."

"At any cost, Ms. Lawson. Is that understood? This mission is far too important for emotions to surface. After Shepard has finished on Illium, he will likely turn the Normandy towards Citadel space to recruit Kasumi. She will prove a valuable edition. While he is on the Citadel, you will make contact with another operative at the Dark Star who will hand you a package. Under no circumstance is anyone to witness this exchange. Is that understood, Operative?"

"Yes, sir." Miranda answered sternly, eyes intense on the illusive man, business-like and determined. "What is the information? Perhaps Shepard could help if it is of such vital importance."

"No." The illusive man cut his hand through the air in dismissal. "Shepard is the last person who is to have any hint of what is in that package. Do you understand? Let me make that perfectly clear. Do not tell Shepard what is in that package and what you will be doing."

She nodded curtly. "Understood."

The image of the Illusive man fizzled away. Alone, she allowed her emotion loose. She slammed a clenched fist down on her desk, the resounding bang echoed loudly through her chambers. The omni-tool on her wrist sprung to life at the contact causing the displays to crackle and distort with its power. Her face contorted in confused emotion. "God … damn it!" She raked a hand through her hair and stood, frustrated, pacing to the window to look out at the stars of the Crescent Nebula.

Shepard returned with Thane and an uninjured team before the evening ended. He ducked under the warm stream of water pouring from the showerhead in his private bathroom. Closing his eyes, he sighed as the warmth massaged away the tension from his muscles and soothed the exhaustion from too little sleep. He cleaned the few scratches and scrapes on his body and the gash on his neck from a stray piece of shrapnel before soaping his entire body. He tilted his chin to his chest as he watched the filth of battle and soot from the thermal fire swirl down the drain.

Clean, he turned off the water stream then dried off. Wrapping the towel around his waist, he exited the bathing room and paused at his desk. He opened the bottom drawer and picked up the metallic picture frame he had abused for the last few months. He activated the frame and Ashley's picture materialized.

Using a single finger, he swiped it over the picture, scrolling to the next. Kaiden. He scrolled again. Liara. He smiled as the nostalgia flooded his senses. He scrolled through all of the pictures from his former crew, not just the team but all of those lost when the first Normandy exploded. He continued through the pictures then passed Ashley again and finally stopped on Liara. He released a slow steady sigh and with a smile, placed the frame back in the bottom drawer and closed it.

Dressing in his standard casual wear, he swiped a hand over the sensor to feed his fish on his way to the elevator and took the shuttle to the crew's quarters. So maybe Garrus was right. Maybe he was a bit emotional and involved when it came to Miranda but frankly, he didn't care. He enjoyed her company, their talks. He liked fighting beside her especially when they took the same cover, back to back at a crate or a pillar. They rarely spoke during battle, intuition guiding them as if in wordless communication. He never felt so connected to another, on or off the field of battle and he was damn well ready to explore the feeling.

He knew Miranda likely read the entire report about Thane's recruitment. Shepard assumed she had sources that reported the outcome before he submitted his brief account. He waved his hand over the sensor to her quarters and stepped inside.

Miranda glanced up from her terminal. "Commander, what can I do for you?"

Shepard held her eyes. "Do you have a minute, Miranda?"

She leaned forward, hands clasped in front of her. "Of course. I'd been meaning to speak with you, in fact."

Miranda stood and turned from Shepard, walking into the private quarters and to the corner style couch. She sat at the far end, turned towards him and waited for him to sit. Expression soft, she leaned forward slightly as she scanned him with her eyes. "I … wanted to apologize," she admitted softly, voice gentle. "I didn't fully believe you'd be up to the task. And it seems I was wrong. Frankly, based on what I've seen, I wish Cerberus had recruited you earlier."

Sitting opposite her, he searched her eyes. "I trust you, but I don't trust Cerberus. Your experiments crossed the line."

"All the time, yes," she agreed without hesitation. "But I recall a Specter who crossed a few lines while hunting down Saren and the geth."

Shepard tilted his head; she had him there. "What was Cerberus trying to prove by experimenting on children like Jack?"

"A mistake." She responded. "No question. Not mine. And one that was corrected once we discovered the extent of the experiments being performed."

"With your intelligence, you could have landed any job you wanted. Why choose this?" Shepard inquired, curious to her motives and her thoughts.

She leaned back slightly, offering an honest answer. "Because I still envy the time Mordin spent with the special tasks group, working with people as smart as he was. Cerberus never tells me that something is impossible." She shifted her weight to settle more comfortably on the couch. "They give me the resources and say, 'Do it.' And they've given you even more. A new life, new ship, the Illusive man's personal attention…"

Shepard hid any disdain for the final suggestion. "The best thing he did was put you on my squad." A truer statement was never spoken.

"You'd have done fine without me," she dismissed easily. "I may not have believed it before, but …" she ducked her head, eyes on the textured fabric of the couch. "I don't have what you do – the fire that makes someone willing to follow you into hell itself." She stood, pacing away from him to the window and leaned into her hip as she put her hand on her waist. "And you've done more than I could. Despite everything my father did to make me perfect, you're …" she sighed. "You're the best humanity has to offer. While my father got me the best genes money can buy. Guess it wasn't enough."

Shepard leaned forward, resting a forearm on his thigh as he stared intensely at her back. His stomach clenched as he eyed the lean and luscious curves. Physically perfect, yet so insecure. "You always bring up your genetic tailoring. It really bothers you, doesn't it?" He stood, slowing approaching her to stand behind her.

"This is what I am, Shepard." She said, defeated. "I can't hide it. The intelligence, the looks, even the biotics … he paid for all of that. Every one of your accomplishments is due to your skill." She glanced back over her shoulder at him then back out the window. "The only things I can take credit for are my mistakes." She finished with a tinge of bitterness.

He smirked slowly at that, trailing a teasing finger along her spine at the small of her back. "Wait a minute. Are you … jealous?"

She turned on him and scoffed. "Don't be absurd."

He swallowed the lump in his throat, resisting the urge to kiss her. She was at her sexiest when passion simmered beneath her usual calm exterior. He taunted her; he needed to see more of that passion, to show her she was not some programmed genetic machine, but a passionate human beneath the facade. "The genetic mutt that the Illusive man put in charge. Man, that must sting." He shifted his weight and took a step closer, provoking. He knew she'd bite.

She did the same, challenging a moment before taking a step back, eyeing him warily. "First, it's not a competition. And second, based on your combat records, you're practically a perfect bloody human specimen." She responded snidely.

He watched her intensely as she shifted nervously under his gaze, like a caged animal, cornered, looking for escape. He stepped closer. "Perfect human specimen, huh?"

She planted her back foot and lifted her chin, meeting his eyes defiantly. Her voice deepened slightly, a subconscious sultry timbre. "Don't get cocky. I'm the one who put you back together, remember?" She stepped closer to him as she eyed his chest, reaching out with a hand to his arm. "And I do damn good work."

"You certainly do," he closed the distance between them. He couldn't resist anymore; fuck the consequences. He leaned down to kiss her and his ego soared when she met him half way. His lips captured hers, hands sliding along her waist to hold her in place, unwilling to release her.

She matched his fire, taking his lips once then once again as one hand rested on his arm, the other gliding over the back of his neck, fingers tickling his hairline. She pulled back sharply, head ducked a moment as she glanced up at him from under hooded eyes, glazed with the hint of passion. She touched her mouth with the backs of her fingers. "What the hell was that?"

He braced himself and leaned back into his hips, watching with delight at her discomfort. She wanted him, probably just as much as he wanted her.

She took two steps back from him. "Ok this doesn't mean anything. We just … God, I need … I'll talk to you later."

A sly, boyish grin tugged at his lips before splitting across his face as he watched her brush past him to her terminal She turned back to look at him and couldn't keep the smile from her face. "And stop smiling, damn it!" Her tone, playful.

"Scared, Ms. Lawson?" He teased, following her.

"Cautious, Commander Shepard." She responded simply and paused at her desk, a hand on the back of her chair to spin it towards her. "But …" she glanced back at him, eyes on his before gliding down his chest then back up to his face. "Interested. Very … interested."

"Interested, huh?" He stepped closer, reaching out to slide a hand along her hip.

"Shepard …" she looked down at his hand, tensing. "I … there's a lot to do. I need to think. Please."

"Alright," he husked and rubbed a thumb along her waist before stepping back. "We're going to head to the Citadel next. Get some supplies and I can recruit this thief. Maybe even give the crew a twenty four hour shore leave while I get some upgrades performed on the ship."

"Do you think we can afford a shore leave so soon?"

"Twenty four hours won't make a difference. The crew deserves it. You all do. A small rest because chances are, we won't have another." He smiled almost sadly. "I'll talk to you later, Miranda."

Miranda nodded slowly. "Commander." She watched his back as he left her office. When he was gone, she sighed and ducked her head into her hands, closing her eyes.

Note: Thanks so much for the reviews and all the hits.