Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I soooooo wish they were mine. But they aren't! :(

A/N: Here it is, the next installment. Fair warning, some of you will be super mad at me for this. But come on, you knew the angst/conflict was coming. This is the beginning of it. But I can just say that it won't be too long dragged out...and Harry won't be any more broodier than he already is.

Having said that, the next few chapters (at least the next one and half of the one after that), won't have too many Harmony happy times. I wish I could avoid it but the story would be bland and flat without the misunderstandings. I mean, come on, even you guys knew that they both needed some push in order to admit that they loved each other. Right now, they were just being blind and stupid. I had to force their hand a little bit.

I promise though, this story IS Harmony and WILL end in a HEA. So don't hate me too much.

As always, reviews are much wanted and appreciated.

Thanks once again to MarsPotter for her constant support and help! :)

Harry was...brooding. There was no other word for it. Or maybe it just felt that way because for the last few days, all he'd done was to fight off a sense of impending doom.

Doom might be too dramatic a word for some, but for Harry, it had pretty much become par for the course - a way of life, if you will - especially since he'd finally found out what the prophecy said about him and Voldemort. Kill or be killed. That's what his future held. He would either die soon or end up becoming a murderer. (He wondered if maybe this was why he had latched on to Hermione so strongly during this little 'experiment' that they found themselves in the middle of. Not that she was a passing fancy, or some kind of a distraction - not at all. More like she'd become his saviour, his beacon of hope, his entire reason for living in the insanity that was his life.)

For the most part, he tried not to focus on the negatives of his life - his arsehole relatives, his pathetic social life or the maniacal madman hell bent on murdering him and taking over the world. He was also able to mostly ignore the prophecy and go on living his life to the fullest but lately, he'd been feeling uncommonly morose and upset.

His lessons with Professor Dumbledore had stalled a bit; it was now up to him to get the true, unaltered memories from Professor Slughorn so that they could figure out the real reason Riddle couldn't be defeated. Ron - the consummate chess player and strategist - had come up with the perfect plan - use the Felix Felicis that Harry had won in his first Potions class of the year to get Slughorn to come clean. Hermione, on the other hand, wasn't completely thrilled with the idea. But when asked to come up with an alternate plan (a better one) she'd surprisingly come up empty-handed. And so Ron's idea had prevailed - for now.

Speaking of Hermione - he really didn't want to put her in the same category as a 'homicidal mass murderer bent on world domination' - but it couldn't be denied that she was also partially responsible for his uneasiness. It had been a few days since their rendezvous in the Room of Requirement as he'd taken to calling his and Hermione's...err...fling for lack of a better word. Since then, things had been...weirdly normal between them. Almost too much so. This too, played into his sense of impending doom.

He and Hermione hadn't addressed the elephant in the room or spoken about it in any way. In fact, the one time Harry had tried to bring it up, Hermione had changed the subject almost instantly leaving Harry feeling unsure and insecure. Why was she going out of the way to avoid the topic? Had he done something wrong? Had she - Merlin forbid - hated what they had done? It hadn't felt like it at the time; she'd seemed to be having a great time as well. But what if she'd thought the whole thing over, analyzed it and decided that it had been an epic mistake?

He found his eyes drifting towards her unwillingly - as they'd done countless times over the course of the last few days - to where she was coaching some of the 4th Years with their Transfiguration homework. She was dressed in her school uniform - a knee length skirt and a white button down shirt. Comfort had dictated that the tie and the robes come off. As was common in recent times, his heart skipped a beat. It didn't matter what she wore - she could be wearing a burlap sack and she'd still look good enough to eat. God, she was just so bloody gorgeous. All he wanted to do was grab a hold of her, drag her to an empty classroom (or heck, even an empty broom closet) and ravage her.

And that brought him to the next topic on his list of grievances. Bloody hell - he and Hermione had slept together! How in the world had that happened? And who would've thought at the beginning of this insanity that they would go from teaming up with each other to try and make other people jealous to essentially losing their virginities to each other? Not him, that was for sure.

Seriously what had they been thinking letting everything get this out of hand? This - the whole plan, what they'd done - had the potential to be the worst mistake of their entire association and that was saying something considering that their association had a lot of very sketchy moments to begin with; some shining examples being - detention in the Forbidden Forest, getting through all the protections leading up to the Philosopher's stone, going into the Chamber of secrets to battle a damn Basilisk, fighting off hundreds of Dementors to rescue his godfather, the whole Triwizard Tournament debacle and their disastrous visit to the Department of Mysteries last year; to name just a few. (It also had the potential to be the best thing they'd ever done but he couldn't let himself go down the path of believing that just yet...)

For now, until he could be absolutely sure that Hermione hadn't hated what they'd done, all he could do was fret. And panic. And that was pretty much all he'd done ever since that day. He'd been going round and round in circles blaming himself, blaming the temptation she'd presented, blaming her. Not to mention, wanting. Wanting her, craving the intimacy they'd shared, needing to be close to her once again. Dammit, he was driving himself crazy.

He should've stopped them before things went that far. In fact, he should've nipped this whole thing in the bud right after their very first kiss. So why hadn't he? He'd known even then - on some level at least - that things had changed between them. A part of him had known that the kiss had altered their relationship forever. So why had he allowed things to progress even further? Because of his traitorous body, that's why. Argh! He should've never allowed his needs to dictate any of their encounters. She was way too important, way too precious to him for that. If somehow this whole thing ended up costing him Hermione and her friendship he'd never forgive himself.

To make matters even worse, he found himself unable to stop thinking about 'the incident' as he'd taken to calling it. He found himself reliving it almost constantly - during his classes, at Quidditch practice, during meals in the Great Hall...even in the dorm (especially, he was ashamed to admit, when he was alone - in his own bed at night.) As a result, he'd been in a near constant state of arousal since that day. He'd lost track of the number of times he'd...err...taken matters into his own hands since that evening. Honestly, he'd never wanked off more - and yet, been less satisfied in his life. Sure he could get himself off; but it just felt cold...empty somehow. His touch wasn't enough anymore. He wanted Hermione. He needed her. She was the only person that could satisfy him anymore.

And no wonder - their love-making had been the single, most incredible moment of his life so far. He'd heard - and read about how some events in life could totally and completely change an individual and the way that they looked at the world. But he'd never really believed it to be true. What was more, he'd never imagined that anything like that could ever happen to him. Until that day. Corny though it sounded; what had happened between him and Hermione in the Room of Requirement had ended up being such an event for him. It had definitely changed him - forever.

All his previous relationships (if you could even call having a minor crush on your best friend's sister and one admittedly wet kiss followed by half a date with one of the most popular girls in school, relationships,) - paled in comparison to what he had with Hermione...to what he felt for her.

How had he not known this before? She was...everything. She was his best friend, his confidant, his entire support system. She was the one person who understood him better than anyone else in the whole wide world - even himself. And as of a few days ago, she was also his lover. (Despite being terrified of losing her friendship he couldn't bring himself to regret what they'd done - not really. Because honestly, he couldn't dream of being that close, that intimate with anyone else in the whole wide world - ever again.)

His breath shortened, his vision grew spotty. He realized - in a very objective, detached way, that he was having a panic attack. And yet, it felt completely justified. Because he'd just realized something momentous, something earth shattering, something that had the potential to destroy his whole world and bring it crashing down around his ears. Bleeding HELL! He...he was in love with her!

How in the world had this happened? How? And what was worse, how could he have missed something so bloody obvious? He'd gone from being friends with Hermione to wanting to spend every waking moment with her, to being unable to think of anyone or anything else but her. That had to be love. What else could it be?

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck! Fucking hell! What was he going to do? He couldn't very well tell her, could he? But now that he'd realized it...now that he'd admitted it to himself...he couldn't even ignore the damn thing. And he was shite at lying to her. In fact, he couldn't even imagine himself being any good at pretending to her that everything was business as usual between them. She was Hermione - the brightest witch of their age and his best friend. She would take one look at his face and figure out that something was enormously and massively wrong with him. Shite. He was totally and completely screwed. What in the world was he going to do?

"Harry?" A tentative voice calling out his name offered him a welcome respite from the nervous breakdown that he was talking himself into. Because honestly...he just couldn't deal with the magnitude of it all at that moment in time.

Falling in love? At age 16? No, no...the thought was just way too outlandish, too ridiculous, too crazy by half. Who the bloody hell did that? Also, what the fuck did he know about love anyway? (And the persistent voice in his head telling him that his parents were not much older than him when they'd fallen in love with each other…? Yeah, nope. He was going to ignore that too. At least for the time being. Or you know...for a long time to come. Maybe forever.)

He shook his head in the hopes of dislodging the whole entire crazy line of thought and turned around to see Ginny standing behind him. Only too happy to focus on something else, he gave her his full attention.

"Hey Gin!" he called with false cheer.

"Hi Harry. Can we talk?"

She sounded too serious by half. "Sure." he answered, this time with much more sincerity. "What's up?"

She glanced around uncomfortably. "Could we...uh...can we go somewhere else? Somewhere a bit more private?"

He frowned, eyeing her critically. "Sure." He answered, after trying unsuccessfully to suss out her agenda. (Apparently frowning at someone; no matter how hard; did not result in suddenly being privy to their innermost thoughts, dang it.) "Lead the way…" He closed the book that he'd been trying to read in vain for the last hour and got up immediately. With mounting curiosity, he followed Ginny out of the portrait hole.

If Harry had turned around in Hermione's direction just before he and Ginny left the common room, he'd have been delighted to see that she wasn't as immune to him as he'd originally thought. In fact, she was just as aware of him as he was of her (if not more). And she was not happy about him and Ginny going off somewhere all by themselves, if the dissatisfied frown on her face was any indication.

Sadly though, Harry didn't see any of this because for the first time since the beginning of their crazy plan, his attention was focused on something other than Hermione.

He kept wondering what it was that Ginny had to discuss with him that couldn't be talked about in the common room. Filled with curiosity, he guided her into the first abandoned classroom that he could find.

He sat down at one of the empty desks and gestured for Ginny to sit down next to him. Then he turned to her and regarded her patiently. "So, Gin, what is it? What did you want to talk to me about? Is everything alright? You're not in some kind of trouble, are you?"

"Y..yes. Actually no." She answered, appearing flustered.

Which was it? Yes or no?

She took a deep breath and tried to start again. "I have a confession to make."

He frowned. A confession? This whole conversation was getting more and more peculiar by the minute. "Okaaay…?"

"I...I had the biggest crush on you…"

He relaxed. That's it? That was what all the fuss had been about? Pfft! The way she'd been behaving, he'd actually been a little worried about what she was going to say. But her 'crush' wasn't news to him. Thick-headed though he was, even he'd known that she'd fancied him when she was younger. In fact, she hadn't been able to look him in the eye without blushing when she first came to Hogwarts.

"Uh, yeah, I'm aware. Your singing Valentine in second year was a pretty dead giveaway." he teased her gently.

Ginny blushed. "Oh Merlin, don't remind me. That was one of the barmiest things I've ever done."

"You'll get no argument from me there." He quipped.

Ginny rolled her eyes at him in annoyance. But she didn't seem any happier than she had been when she first approached him. Harry frowned. "Gin? What is it? What's on your mind? Come on, you can tell me…"

She sighed unhappily. " I...I...wasn't talking about 2nd year. I guess, I should clarify, I've had a pretty big crush on you for most of my life. But this year...I...I think it may have progressed to a bit more than a crush."

He looked around, flustered. More than a crush? What did she mean? That she was in love with him? How was that possible? She barely knew him - the real him, that is.

"Err…" he trailed off, completely unsure about how to react or what to say. He wasn't exactly comfortable talking about this. A month ago…? He'd have been on cloud 9. But now? Not so much. He was also annoyed by the fact that Hermione had been right all along. Not that that was too much of a surprise. She usually was; most of the time anyway. Ugh, she was going to be insufferably smug once he told her about it.

He scrambled around for the right thing to say. "Really? But you've been dating Micheal and Dean for most of the year." The thought popped out before he could stop himself.

Ugh. Idiot! How was that the right response? Now she would think that he was more interested in this topic than he really was, damn it.

She squirmed uncomfortably. "Because that's what your girlfriend asked me to do." She almost spat out the word 'girlfriend'.

What? Did she mean Hermione? But...that didn't make any sense. "Who, Hermione?" He asked incredulously. Ginny nodded shortly. "So...Hermione asked you to date Micheal? And Dean?" he asked, confused.

"No!" She snapped in frustration. Then, realizing that she was coming off as rude, she took a deep breath and made a noticeable effort to moderate her response. "Hermione didn't ask me to date Micheal or Dean. Bu...but she knew about my feelings for you."

Huh. Despite being his best friend, she hadn't let him in on that little detail all year long. No wonder she'd been so adamant about Ginny's interest in him though. Although... Why hadn't she just told him outright?

"We've spoken about it many times." Ginny continued, oblivious to his consternation. "You know what her advice has been? She told me to be a bit more relaxed around you...to get on with my life, date other people. To...to basically show you what I was really like."

Okay now he was even more confused. "But...her advice seems to have worked, right?" he questioned. "You're so much more comfortable talking to me now."

She deflated. "Well...yes." She sighed dejectedly. "It did help. But then, look where things stand now. I'm with Dean and you're with...well, don't get me wrong, please. Honestly, it's not that I hate the fact that you're with Hermione. She's one of my best friends and she's...you couldn't find a lovelier person. It's just that... I hate the fact that you're with anyone other than me. I...it was never my intention to push you away. To push you into someone else's arms at that. I...I messed up, I guess."

He couldn't help feeling bad for her. Because to be honest, he didn't much care for the fact that she was essentially pouring out her heart to him. (That is to say, her words...and the sentiments behind them, didn't seem to make much of a difference to him and his life.) Basically, he was slowly coming to the realization that he just didn't care for her in that way anymore - if he ever had to begin with. Now, when he saw her, all he saw was his friend at best, his best friend's little sister at worst. Whatever passing fancy he'd had for her at the beginning of the year had...well...passed. Now, all he felt was a little bit of guilt about the fact that he was going to inadvertently hurt her. That had never been his intention.

"Why are you telling me this now, Ginny?" He couldn't help asking. He wasn't trying to be mean or to rub in the fact that he'd moved on. He was genuinely curious as to her thought process. Why here? Why now? "Why didn't you just come and tell me yourself last year? I thought you and I were close enough for that." He reminded her gently.

"I...I don't know why I didn't tell you." She huffed. "I know I should have. And I'm telling you now because a part of me is mad at Hermione, I guess. She's one of my best friends. Which means - she shouldn't have pursued you. She should've backed off. She knew about my feelings for you and she still started going out with you. She... she betrayed my trust!" She burst out.

A part of him; the objective part; could very well understand where Ginny was coming from. (It did seem suspicious, the timing of it all. Especially to someone who didn't know the fact that their whole relationship was based on a sham.) But the emotional part of him; the part that had just discovered his love for the girl in question; couldn't help but feel protective and indignant on her behalf.

Besides, this was Hermione. She didn't have a single malicious bone in her body - at least not as far as her friends were concerned. (Her enemies - people like Umbridge - were a whole different cup of tea altogether. And frankly, the only reason she'd ever felt the need to hurt that bitch was because she'd been hurting him all year long. That was who Hermione was - faithful and loyal and dedicated to a fault.) So he knew; with every fiber of his being; that she hadn't deliberately set out to hurt Ginny. Besides, it wasn't like what they'd been doing had been real - at least not to begin with. So there wasn't any chance at all that Hermione had set out to betray Ginny's confidence in any way. Frankly, he couldn't help but be disappointed in Ginny. Despite not knowing the exact circumstances surrounding his and Hermione's relationship, he couldn't help but feel like she should've known better than to randomly accuse her so-called best friend of stabbing her in the back.

Still, he tried to be as patient as he could with Ginny - under the circumstances. After all, she was clearly a bit distraught. "Again - I don't think Hermione would do anything to deliberately hurt you. Plus, how was she supposed to know that you dating Micheal or Dean was just a means to get my attention?" Again, the irony of their situation was laughable.

She seemed to deflate entirely. "I… Merlin...You're right. Of course you're right. I'm being such a bitch." She paced around like a wild unicorn, tossing her long sheath of hair over her shoulder. A couple of weeks ago, that gesture would've made him feel weak in the knees. Now though? He barely even noticed. "Of course Hermione wouldn't want to hurt me on purpose. And she wouldn't just go out with you to hurt Ron either."

Uh oh! He almost winced. What Ginny said about Ron - it was a bit too close to the truth for comfort. He'd been giving himself a stomach ache every time he remembered the fact that Hermione had stopped him from talking about Ron when they were together. Moreover, she still hadn't broached the topic even though she'd clearly stated at the time that they needed to talk about it in the near future. He couldn't help fretting over her reasons behind that avoidance. Why did she not want to talk about Ron? Was it because she still had feelings for their mutual best mate? Was it because she felt guilty about what they had done together - because it was a betrayal to Ron - and was trying her best to forget the whole encounter completely?

No. No he wasn't going to do that to himself. He wasn't going to drive himself crazy thinking all sorts of negative things - not until he'd had a chance to talk to Hermione first. It took some effort but he schooled his face into an expression of impassivity. Thankfully, Ginny was too flustered to notice.

"Merlin! To think that I almost confronted her because I thought she was just using you. What was I thinking? She would never do that. She cares about you too much. Oh Godric, I've been such a bad friend to her lately too - ignoring all of her efforts to spend time together. Argh, I've made such a mess out of all this. I really need to fix things with her."

She jerked to a sudden stop in front of him; it was almost as if she'd just come to a realization. "So, I take it from your overall reaction; or lack thereof; that you don't feel the same way about me as I do about you?"

He cringed. He really, really hated disappointing people. And to think that a few weeks ago, this would've been a dream come true. Oh Merlin, this was so so complicated. Not to mention awkward. Still, what was the point in telling her that he'd thought he was interested in her a while back but that he realized he wasn't anymore? That would just be unnecessarily cruel - raising her hopes only to dash them again. "I'm sorry, but no."

She sighed dejectedly. "Yeah, that's what I thought." She took a deep breath and gave him a forced smile, clearly making a visible effort to cheer up. "Well, at least I managed to tell you this time, huh?"

He tried to smile back, feeling like the worst person on the planet. "I'm so sorry, Gin. I...maybe if you'd told me sooner..." He couldn't help blurting out.

Balls! Great going, Potter. How would that help her feel better? It's not like she could do anything to change things now. Besides, now that he'd been with Hermione, he knew for a fact that what he'd felt for Ginny earlier paled drastically in comparison. He could never have been happy with her. Never. And what was worse; with his unflinching - and at times misguided - sense of loyalty; he never would have had the heart to end things with her either - even if he'd been miserable the whole time. So all in all, he was happy that things had turned out differently and that he'd realized how he really felt before things went too far.

Thankfully, it seemed like Ginny hadn't heard his idiotic outburst. (Or, if she had, she'd chosen not to take it seriously. Either way, he was grateful.) She appeared to be deep in thought, almost as if she were contemplating an extreme course of action.

"Gin…?" He prompted.

Finally she seemed to arrive at a decision. She gave him a half contrite-half resolute look. "I'm sorry, I just have to do this." She stepped close to him, her body almost too close for comfort. "If I don't, I'll just regret it for the rest of my life." Abruptly she put her arms around his neck, yanked his head down and snogged him.

Harry froze. His brain went numb. His body on the other hand…? It rebelled. Almost violently. No! No! He didn't want to kiss her. It was painfully obvious - to his mind and body - that she was not Hermione. This felt wrong. So, so wrong. Ew, Ew, EW!

Thankfully, the whole ordeal lasted no more than a minute or two. The classroom door slammed shut and the noise seemed to prompt Ginny into action. She pulled back, giving him a sad and apologetic look. Despite it being fleeting, the whole ordeal had seemed to last an eternity - in the worst parts of hell.

"What the hell, Ginerva?" He spat, barely repressing a shudder of revulsion. He had an almost overwhelming urge to Scourgify his mouth.

Ginny pulled back, giving him a sad and apologetic look. "I'm really sorry, Harry," she reiterated. "I just had to do that. Not because I wanted to seduce you or make you change your mind or anything of that sort. It's just something that I'd dreamt about for the longest time and I just had to find out if the reality lived up to my dreams. I meant no disrespect, honestly. Just...if I hadn't done that, I would've always wondered what it was like, whether things would've been different between us if I'd just had the courage to make a move on you...I would've never forgiven myself for not even trying."

She seemed genuinely apologetic. And not that it excused her behaviour in any way, but it did explain her actions. "It's...uh...alright." Ugh, that was one of the hardest things he'd ever had to say. He understood, he really did but that didn't mean he was happy about being the subject of her experiment or a bucket list item to be crossed off of her list or whatever it could be called.

"It's okay…" She laughed self-deprecatingly. "You don't have to pretend. I know you hated it."

"No...No…" Okay, so he was lying but he really couldn't just outright hurt her feelings, could he? And honestly, she wasn't a bad kisser… it just felt like he was kissing his sister or something like that. And besides, Hermione had spoiled him for all other women. Bugger it all, he was so in love with her.

"It's really alright Harry. Like I said, it was more of a wish fulfillment exercise than anything else. I don't expect anything to come out of this, honest. Frankly, things with Dean are going surprisingly well, even though I only started dating him in order to make you jealous."

Oh, the irony. He couldn't help but wonder how she would react when she came to know that his and Hermione's relationship had started out on exactly the same pretext.

"I...I really value your friendship Harry, both yours and Hermione's." Ginny went on, unaware of the nature of his thoughts.

Kissing someone's boyfriend (even if he was only a pretend one,) was a really horrid way of showing them how much you valued their friendship in his opinion.

"Harry? Harry!"

"Huh? What?"

She looked a bit disgruntled, not that he minded. He was still a bit put out by the fact that she'd snogged him without his permission.

"I was just saying sorry. I didn't intend to make things weird between us." Too late! "Hard as it is to believe, I really am happy with Dean. I can see that you are too. And honestly, you deserve all the happiness you can get. So I'm not going to do anything to mess that up, trust me. I really, really hope we can still be friends."

Okay, she really sounded sincere. Maybe he was the one who was making a bigger deal out of this. Maybe she really hadn't meant anything by the kiss. He decided to give her the benefit of doubt. She was making the effort. It wouldn't hurt to at least meet her halfway.

"Don't worry about it Ginny." He said begrudgingly.

"Oh, thank Merlin!" She exclaimed. "I was really worried for a bit there that you were never going to forgive me for that, especially when you called me Ginerva. You've never, ever called me that before."

He brushed it off, eager to move on from that entire debacle.

"So, Hermione, huh?" Ginny prodded teasingly, in an obvious effort to repair their friendship.

He looked away bashfully, not sure what to say. "Err, yeah."

"Have you told her you love her yet?" Ginny asked casually.

His head whipped up. "What? No!" He cleared his throat to make sure his voice didn't come out squeaky. "Don't be silly. We've only been dating each other for a couple of weeks. No one is in love with anyone, especially not me."

"Oh, Harry…" Ginny gave him a pitying look. "There's no use denying it. You may not want to admit it to me but it's crystal clear to all the people that know you that you're pathetically in love with her."

What? No! The one person who knew him the best was - Hermione. Did that mean that she knew how he felt about her? God, that would be so mortifying - especially if she didn't feel the same way about him.

And what about Ron? He couldn't forget that he'd been the entire reason behind the 'Plan' in the first place. Did she still have feelings for their mutual best friend? If that had been the case though, she wouldn't have slept with him, would she? But...she hadn't called the whole ruse off either. So that must mean she still wanted to get Ron's attention, right? Screw it all, this was way too complicated. He didn't know what to do. Or say.

"Does she know?" He questioned Ginny, willing to take even her help at this point.

"No, probably not." Ginny responded. "If you ask me, she probably hasn't figured out that she loves you too either. Because honestly, you two look equally clueless to me."

That was good. (At least she wasn't secretly feeling sorry for him or anything like that.) At the same time, it was really, really bad.

If the smartest witch of their times couldn't figure out that he was in love with her, then clearly he sucked at this whole being in love thing.

A/N: So? What did you think? Loved it? Hated it? Want to throw rotten tomatoes at me?

Before you go all batshit on me, Ginny isn't crazy or evil and I most certainly don't hate her. I just don't care for her character much overall - in the books AND the movies. But here, she didn't mean to make things worse for H/Hr. She really is just a confused and upset teenage girl, like she appears. And no, she isn't going to turn into a major villain or something. But yes, this WILL lead to some conflict/misunderstandings between H/Hr so basically, prepare yourselves mentally for it. ;)

As always, don't forget to let me know what you think.