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"I didn't want to tell them everything, but getting it all out of the way instead of them randomly asking about it made it easier for me." Olivia explained, remembering going over her kidnapping with Brian and Ed. "I really didn't want them asking questions when we started sleeping together." She was happy that Elliot didn't seem to be jealous when thinking about her ex-boyfriends. He sat relaxed in one of the conference room chairs with her feet in his lap. She sat perched on the table, enjoying having his hands on her even if he was only holding her ankles. "Why didn't you ask me about my scars last night?"

Elliot shook his head. "Why would I? You told me someone hurt you, but you didn't want to talk about it. I had no idea what the full extent was. Seeing your scars made me want to kill the person that did that to you, but, Olivia, scars were not going to stop me last night to play twenty questions with you."

Olivia blushed slightly, biting her lip. "It's just. . .I had to talk to them beforehand so that they wouldn't be surprised. So, they wouldn't be blindsided and ask me about them."

Elliot leaned forward, kissing her knee before resting his head against it and gazing up at her. "Liv, they're scars. Yes, the stories behind them are painful and how you got them is horrific, but they're scars. They're healed. You're breathing, sitting in front of me. And, it's you. Any scars you have are because you survived something, half of those scars are things I witnessed myself. It doesn't change you or how I look at you or how I feel about you. All those scars do is tell me the story of a strong, beautiful woman who I'm lucky enough to be with in any capacity."

Olivia bit her lip, rolling her eyes at the butterflies in her stomach. Even when he'd seen her scars last night, she didn't see a shred of pity or sadness that she'd seen in Brian and Ed their first times after her abduction. The fact that all Elliot saw was her survival made her feel more like a swooning teenager than she would ever admit. "You're just used to scars."

"That's true too. But, I wasn't lying about the first part. Liv, I wouldn't care if you were covered in scars. I'd want to kill every reason behind them, but I wouldn't care. As long as they were scars. . .wounds that healed because you lived through it, because you kept breathing. . .that's all I care about." Elliot stated, smiling softly up at her before she leaned down and kissed him.

"Yes, thank you, Lucy." Amanda said, bidding farewell to Olivia's nanny. She handed Olivia's phone to Kat to put back on their captain's desk. "She's already at Liv's with Noah. Just wanted to know what time to expect her home."

"They have to come out to go home, right? They aren't going to sleep in there, are they?" Kat asked, her arms crossed over her chest as she leaned against Olivia's desk. Her questions were directed to the person that knew them the longest, Fin.

Fin huffed out a breath, shaking his head as he stared in at the two. "Honestly, I wouldn't put it past them, but Liv didn't see Noah last night. She'll want to see him, spend some time with him. Especially if she's going to be helping Elliot move into his new place this weekend. Although, Noah would be around for all of that too. I don't know. They may come out just to continue this in the car to her place."

Amanda sat for a moment, watching the two inside relax if only for a moment. "Do you really think Elliot and Olivia would've killed Lewis if she could've called him? I know Lewis did unspeakable things, and I wouldn't blame them considering how close they are and knowing everything that happened. But if they were really faced with the choice, do you think they could honestly go through with it and keep that secret?"

"They have a lot of secrets between the two of them. Nothing like that, but I think they could keep a secret like that." Fin sighed, resting his head on his hand propped up on the chair armrest. "Olivia beat the crap out of Lewis. I know she probably wasn't intending to kill him, but she could have. I think the same would've happened with Elliot. His rage would've taken over. As much as he would want to kill Lewis, I don't think he would purposely do it. He would've pounded on Lewis, don't get me wrong. He's anger used to be like a hair trigger back then. Considering it was Liv who was hurt. . .I think he would've killed Lewis in his anger, but not as a plan."

"If one of them had killed Lewis, do you think we would've found out about it?" Kat's question made all of them wonder considering what the two inside had talked about, what Elliot had basically laid out as to what he would've down if he'd been there.

"Depends on how bad the beating was before he died." Fin muttered. "If it could be passed off as self-defense, maybe. Knowing Elliot, they would've had to lie about what happened or he would be arrested. Olivia would've done anything to prevent that."

Amanda nodded slowly. "Even if we knew they killed him, we wouldn't know what actually happened. Only they would." She gazed over at Fin, meeting his eyes. "And, they'd take it to their graves protecting each other."

"We should've done this as partners." Elliot stated, nearly out of no where.

Olivia smiled gently, her eyebrows furrowing. "What? Lock ourselves in interrogation room to work out our emotionally stunted problems with one another? You didn't like screaming at each other in the squad room or in the hallways until Cragen had to break us up."

Elliot grunted through an exhale. "I hated fighting with you. Most of the time, you were right, which only made me more mad. I would say stupid things that still haunt me to this day. Especially during the one case. The guy had kidnapped two kids, sliced your neck open-"

"Gitano?" Olivia asked, a little wide eyed.

"Yeah, Gitano. Anyway, I saw everything, knew you had to get closer to him to try and save that little boy, and I felt like I had been crushed to dust when he cut your neck and sent you flying to the floor. Christ, I thought I lost you. I knew my job mandated me to go after him, to try and save that little boy, but I ran to you. I couldn't help it, and I blamed you for it."

Olivia turned her head, reaching up and cupping his so he would turn it to face her. Even upside down, she met his eyes with ease. She let her fingers gently scratch along his scalp, feeling the small hairs tickle her fingertips. "I know you didn't mean it."

"I still feel bad." Elliot whispered. "Even if you knew I didn't mean it, there was probably a moment in that anger where you felt I did. I didn't understand how I could look away from my job, but then I wonder about the different possibilities of what could've happened. If I had gone after him, if the cut had been deeper." He reached up, running his finger along the faint scar still on her neck. He'd know that mark from anywhere. "I find myself in the same position. I did the same thing yesterday that I did all those years ago. When I felt like your life was on the line, I ran straight for you. No second thoughts." He leaned forward, kissing her lips gently to avoid bumping their noses into each other's chins. "But to answer your question, I was referring to laying on the interrogation room table. Putting our heads together, stare up at the ceiling. I think it could've helped us put some pieces together when we were partners, especially since it would be away from Munch and his crazy rants about the government and the voodoo coffee maker he claimed ruined every pot of coffee he tried to make."

Olivia laughed as she covered his hand with hers as it slipped from her neck to rest behind her head. "He helped us out every once and a while. His coffee did give us a good excuse to do coffee runs though."

Elliot chuckled. "Ingrained in my memory. Every now and then, I find myself making a second cup just the way you like it and end up having to make an excuse as to why I needed two separate cups of coffee." He enjoyed the light in her eyes. He let himself bask in the knowledge that it was because of him that she was happy right now, even though he knew his next question would send them back on their trek to find their ground again. "Why did you leave SVU after Gitano?"

Olivia sighed, but unlike what he thought she would do, she stayed with her back on the table. The only thing that broke their eye contact was the single blink of her eyes before she spoke. "After what happened, there was so much we had yet to let settle. So much that we could never say to each other at the time even if circumstances were different. You said we couldn't be partners anymore."

"I only said we couldn't be partners if we continued to choose each other over our jobs, over the people we swore to protect. I never asked you to leave or expected you to leave." Elliot frowned, remembering his words vividly. After she had left for computer crimes, he had gone over that conversation so many times in his head, wondering what he had said wrong. He always came up short.

"Well, I took myself out of the equation." Olivia stated simply before pushing off the table, the edge in her voice making her short with him.

Elliot sat up, turning himself to face her standing by the mirror. "And, I'm asking why."

"It's-."

"Don't you dare say complicated." Elliot fought her.

"Complicated." Olivia finished anyway. "That night, you told me that other than the job I was the only thing you had left worth fighting for. You didn't wanna wreck that. I didn't wanna wreck that, and that case had pushed us over the edge. We chose each other, and I knew-"

"That we cared too much. . .because, we couldn't do it." Elliot finished. Hindsight is twenty, twenty. Back then, he didn't dare name what was happening between them, what had always been between them. Now being older and more willing to realize, he knew that it was the first time they acknowledged something deeper between them that wasn't just their partnership. In the back of his mind, he knew her going to computer crimes, even for only that short time, was probably better than if she'd stayed. Probably the same thoughts she had about his absence when Lewis was around. He would've killed Lewis, and if Olivia had stayed after Gitano he was sure he would've done something stupid with her in his downward spiral.

Their relationship as partners would've been strained, keeping each other at arm's length if she had stayed. Knowing what they hadn't done in Gitano's case, staying partners probably would've destroyed their relationship long before he left SVU. Even when things were awkward when she came back after Oregon, they were relieved to be back as partners instead of questioning their every move and whether or not they were putting each other before the case. Though their disappearances from each other's lives was not welcomed and certainly left them in a rough situation, the time apart seemed to be healthy for them in other ways. "We chose each other."

Olivia pursed her lips together. "Elliot, you know I could never choose that. To pull that trigger. . .I just couldn't."

"I know." Elliot breathed, slipping off the table and leaning against the opposite wall. "I couldn't do that either if I was ever faced with that situation with you. We had too. It was our job. I didn't want you to leave though. I just knew things had to change."

Olivia crossed her arms over her chest."But even when I came back, nothing changed. Things were awkward. We got through it, but we didn't change jack shit. The thing that had changed with Gitano was that you and Kathy were split. She was filing for divorce."

Elliot scoffed, more than a little pissed off with her throwing that out. "So, you think I couldn't control myself?"

"I think it was becoming hard to." Olivia stated as if it were fact.

"Why do you think that?" Elliot challenged, stepping forward and resting his fists on the table.

"You just admitted that you kissed the detective who took my desk while I was gone. You said yourself you were spiraling." Olivia argued, her own voice raising to match his. "It's not like you're the only one who cared, El. We had lines, but your marriage was a big one that looked like it was disappearing."

Elliot's nose flared, his eyes studying her, gauging her. "So, then why did you leave? I fell apart when you left."

Olivia shook her head, her eyes glassing over as their eyes bore into each other's. "I was scared. I was scared what we might do if we continued the way we were. I was scared of those lines going away, of being more than just a partner to you, of ruining everything. You were the most important person in my life, and I couldn't lose that." She took a shuddering breath. "I was scared then, just like I'm scared now. I'm still scared of all those things, and now I'm scared that I'll finally find myself truly happy with you and then you disappear again."

"What can I do?" Elliot asked, rushing over to her and nearly pinning her to the wall. She rested her hands on his chest as their foreheads met. "What can I do to convince you that I'm not going anywhere? I swear, Liv. I'll do anything. I'll prove it however you need me to. Even Richard Wheatley could tell you why I'm not leaving."

"Wheatley?" Olivia searched his eyes, seeing a phantom of recent fear seem to swirl around his mind. "What does Wheatley know?"

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