A/N: Prepare yourselves, Chloe's flashback is finally here. Let me know what you think!
Beca could sense...feel...the anxiety radiating off of Chloe about their upcoming mission to Germany. She was hesitant to help. Not that she didn't want to. She just wasn't sure what, if anything, she did might be overstepping. She knew what it was like to have traumatic past experiences. And she knew that she, personally, didn't want anyone trying to pry anything out of her. Chloe had done a pretty good job of respecting that wish. But what if Chloe was the opposite? Maybe she wanted a little poking and prodding.
"So, are you okay?" Beca asked as casually as she could with her hand resting on Chloe's knee on the couch as they let a TV show play in the background.
"Yeah, why?" Chloe answered quickly, looking to her right.
"You just seem really tense. Like more tense about this mission than any others."
"Germany's where Price died." Chloe blurted out. Beca made an oh shape with her mouth and nodded slowly, but remained silent. "And it was my fault."
"I seriously doubt-" Beca started but was interrupted by Chloe abruptly standing up.
"You don't get to doubt anything. You weren't there." She said harshly. She immediately felt bad for snapping.
"Yeah, I know. I get it. I do." Beca stood up and cautiously put her hands on Chloe's arms. "I've been through some stuff too. And I know I need to get better at talking about it. So I feel hypocritical. But if you need to talk, you can. I absolutely won't judge or make it seem like any less than what it is."
"I had to talk to a therapist." Chloe admitted. "My dad made me. He's conveniently head of the whole Agency. And it didn't help. If anything it just made me learn how to keep my emotions locked in so people couldn't see them and judge me as less than fit for duty."
"Well, I'm not a therapist." Beca shrugged as she pulled Chloe closer. "I'm not going to try to fix you or tell you how to get over it. I'll just listen. And I certainly won't think of you as less than the absolute best partner I could be with. In more ways than one." She added with a little wink.
"For someone who's such an idiot sometimes, you sure have a way with words." Chloe let herself be guided closer until she was resting against Beca's chest.
"I guess you have a good influence on me." Beca shrugged as she sat back down on the couch. "Want to talk about it? Or give me another painting lesson to get your mind off it?" When Beca asked which one she'd prefer, Chloe couldn't help but feel a warmth spread through her. Because Beca really didn't care which one Chloe chose. She only wanted to help. And if helping meant not prying stuff out of Chloe, then she'd do it. So Chloe decided to spill. She only hoped Beca would return that same trust someday soon.
"Okay." Chloe took a deep breath and rejoined Beca on the couch. "It was two and a half years ago. Our mission was to find this rogue agent who was working with the Russians. They were planning some big cyber attack. When we got to Russia we were late and the agent was gone. Agent Price thought we should head back and regroup with the Agency. But I knew we were hot on his tail. We heard he had gone to Germany. Apparently he was playing all sides of the globe. He was working with a German man who basically wanted to be the next Hitler, just without the mass genocide. He just wanted to rule the world. He had a psychopathic daughter to boot who wanted to create her own female army. We got the intel on the flight over to learn as much about them as possible. But it was rushed. Price knew it. But he was letting me take the lead. Last mistake he ever made." Chloe shook her head and looked down at her hands.
Flashback: Germany
Price and Chloe were on a jet speed reading through paperwork on the new German enemies rogue agent Ferris was fleeing to.
"How can he betray his own country like that?" Chloe slammed down her binder in frustration.
"Sometimes people get an offer that's more important to them than our country." Price said sadly. "The good news is the Russians didn't get their hands on the disc. So we have breathing room."
"These Germans seem like real pieces of work. And this daughter...Kommissar?" Chloe held a picture of the angry looking blonde. "First, what kind of a name is that. Second, she seems like the real Hitler wannabe. An all female army? Her ego must be the size of the Atlantic Ocean."
"Don't get personal, Beale. We're going in to retrieve that disc. And ideally bring Agent Ferris back to be thrown in an underground prison the rest of his life."
"But if we can hand these Germans their asses on a silver platter, that's all the better." Chloe shrugged as she continued reading.
The two agents were dressed in their black stealth equipment as they reached the side entrance of the Germans' palatial mansion. Price was picking the lock when they heard a rustling come from the bushes. Chloe grabbed her gun and waited for a moment until they saw Agent Ferris stumble forward and fall to his knees. His face was bloodied and his arms were covered in bruises. If he didn't have a shirt, Chloe suspected his chest would be heavily bruised too.
"You traitorous asshole!" Chloe hissed in a whisper as she yanked him up by his collar and elbowed him in the ribs, sending him crying right back to his knees.
"Where's the disc?" Price abandoned the lock picking and pulled Ferris by the back of his hair to look at him.
"You're too late." Ferris gave them an evil grin as blood trickled through his teeth. "He didn't even want it." He reached behind his shirt and tossed the disc angrily aside. "Said he thought I had more. What he has is already more valuable. Then he blackballed me to all my contacts across the globe. And had his daughter kick the shit out of me. Couldn't even do it himself, the coward."
"Oh, you poor thing." Chloe kicked him in the groin as he flailed face down into the grass.
"Chloe." Price said with a hint of reprimand before pulling Ferris back up. "What does he have?"
"I don't know." Ferris whined. "He had this room that looked more like a NASA control center."
"What's he planning?" Chloe asked without violence this time.
"If I tell you...what do I get?"
"A cold underground cell with a dirty mattress for the rest of your pathetic life." Chloe growled as Price held up a hand.
"We can talk to the General." Price interceded. "If you give us something valuable."
"He's getting access to nuclear weapons from different countries." Ferris said quickly as it was hard to breathe. "He was telling his daughter all they need to do is get the codes. They're trying to hack into countries' databases to get the codes and shut down their infrastructure. He does that? Shit…"
"How close is he?" Price demanded.
"Pretty damn close. He has a team of scientists working for him. He thought I had bigger intel. He said America was the last piece of the puzzle before he sent the entire globe into panic. But what I have wasn't enough." Ferris hung his head. "I never wanted to destroy the world, you know. Just fuck up some countries here and there a little while making enough money to live on an island somewhere. What he's doing? It's apocalyptic."
"I don't feel sorry for you." Chloe yanked him up as she ordered two men from their van to take Ferris away. "People like you are why this guy is in the position he's in."
Two men dressed like SWAT teams grabbed Ferris and drug him back to the van. Price was pulling out his phone to call Captain Littner. But Chloe quickly grabbed it before the call could go through.
"We have to get in there." Chloe nodded to the mansion. "And now is an opportune time. He feels safe. He just kicked a rogue agent's ass. He's probably thinking of a new plan. There's very little guards at this time. He's not prepared."
"Neither are we." Price warned. "Not many guards, still means there are guards. There's two of us who are on a rushed mission as it is. The plan was to get the disc and Agent Ferris. We've done that. Now we need to head back to plan how to shut this down."
"But what if he pulls something off before we have time to make it back and stop him?" Chloe pushed. "Could you live with yourself knowing you could've done something?"
Price paused and took a deep breath. He watched as Ferris was being tossed in the van. He turned to look at the mansion behind him. He weighed his options quickly in his mind. And because, no, he couldn't live with himself if a global attack occurred, he chose to agree with Chloe and turn back to resume picking the lock.
"We probably don't have much time before our bosses know we have Ferris. They won't like that went in like this without alerting them."
"They're a bunch pansy paper pushers who sit behind desks all day. Of course they won't have the balls to sign off on this." Chloe rolled her eyes, thinking of her father in a suit behind a desk giving orders for other people to risk their lives while he can sip a glass of whiskey safely behind a bulletproof window.
"Alright, let's do this. And do it fast." Price said as the lock clicked. "And Chloe? If things start going south, we need to get out and get home to regroup. Understood?"
"Got it." Chloe nodded as she followed Price inside.
They made their way inside easily. No guards were on this section of the floor. There was probably one roaming lazily about, not expecting any visitors. Price led the way up the stairs, gun in hand for whatever might greet them on the next floor.
Price, remembering the little intel they memorized on the plane ride, knew that the German's "NASA room" was all the way down the hall with a security code. He remembered seeing the code, but couldn't be completely sure if he had the numbers in the right order in his mind. They got to the door and he punched in the code he hoped was correct. He was rewarded with a positive click of an unlocking door.
"Holy shit…" Chloe gasped as they entered the room. Ferris wasn't exaggerating when he said the room looked like a NASA control center. "This guy is seriously plotting world domination."
"Or world extinction." Price added under his breath as he looked at the monitors.
"Okay, what's the plan?" Chloe asked as they stood in the center of the room. Right, there was supposed to be a plan. Price paused, unsure where the German was and how much time they had. While he thought things over, Chloe pulled a USB out of her bag.
"I'm wiping his hard drive. We'll have all his info." Chloe stated proudly as she hacked into the computer while plugging the USB in. She saw the percentage bar pop up and it read 24 minutes left.
"24 minutes?!" Price stood behind her. "We don't have that kind of time."
"As long as we get some of it." Chloe waved him off. "It'll at least slow his progress so we have time to make a better plan to take him down."
Price took a deep breath, cautiously agreeing with his younger partner. They both waited impatiently as they saw the status bar on the computer slowly increase. They both gripped their guns in case anyone entered. Suddenly an obnoxiously loud alarm started buzzing through the mansion along with dark red lights flashing.
"Shit! Get the USB, lets go." Price moved to the door, ready for an intruder at any moment. Chloe waited a little longer so the status bar grew little by little. She knew the more she wiped from the hard drive, the further it would set the terrorist back in his plans.
"Chloe!" Price admonished again. "We need to go."
"Okay, okay!" Chloe finally snatched the USB and moved to follow Price when the door opened to reveal three body guards looking in suspiciously. Price took one out quickly with a punch to the neck. Chloe took out another with a taser. Price shot the last one as the brute aimed his gun at him.
The two agents were about to make a break for it when Kommissar stood in the doorway. Price was thrown off because she didn't seem on the attack, but rather she was blocking them from escaping. Price pointed his gun at her and she just smirked. He glanced over her shoulder and saw the German, whose name they had yet to learn, sprinting for what looked like a door to a panic room.
Price quickly slammed the butt of his gun into Kommissar's shoulder, leaving her shouting in pain while trying to grab his foot as he leaped over her. Chloe was close behind, but Kommissar managed to grab her. Chloe looked up to see the German slip inside the sliding door and Price sprinting to slide into the room behind him. She scrambled to her feet to try and get into the room, but felt a palm of a hand slam into her back in between her shoulder blades.
"I think not, silly American." Kommissar said smugly as she stood over Chloe. Chloe wasted no time and quickly swiped Kommissar's legs from under her. Kommissar let out a grunt as she quickly reached for Chloe. The two got caught up in a fierce hand battle. Kommissar didn't appear to have a weapon on her, but she was making it nearly impossible for Chloe to get a couple seconds to grab one of hers to stop her.
Chloe gave a kick to Kommissar's side. Kommissar absorbed it and threw a punch into Chloe's ribs. They exchanged blocked punch for blocked punch before Chloe finally rolled on her back and knocked Kommissar off her feet again. She lunged forward and quickly captured the blonde in a tight headlock.
"You won't beat us." Kommissar choked out as she tried to grapple Chloe's arms off from around her neck.
"I love when people underestimate me." Chloe growled back before lifting the larger woman and shoving her over the balcony railing. Kommissar held on by her fingertips when Chloe slammed her fist down on her hands. Kommissar went falling to the first floor and landed with a terrible sounding crack. Chloe moved toward the panic room and heard the blood-curdling scream from the blonde lying on the floor below her. She glanced over the railing and saw Kommissar writhing on the ground with her leg bent in an unnatural way. It was definitely broken. She was confident the woman wouldn't be able to pursue her.
"You'll pay you redheaded bitch!" Kommissar shouted from her crumpled position.
Chloe gave her a fake salute before she sprinted to the panic room door and was glad its code was one of the things she remembered from their booklet. She bent down and shuffled underneath the door as it rose and then stopped in her tracks when she saw the German holding a gun to Price's head.
"Your daughter's lying in a pool of her own blood right now. You should probably go help her." Chloe said cockily, causing the German to flinch. Prince took the split second to slam his head backward to knock the gun out of his hand.
"You hurt my daughter. I will return to the favor." He said sinisterly as he grabbed Price by his throat again.
"She'll be fine. She's a tough girl." Chloe took a step forward, inching her hands toward her taser still sitting in the back of her belt.
"Give me the USB! The one you tried to sabotage my work with!" The German screamed angrily.
"Let him go first." Chloe could feel her chest rising up and down rapidly. It was the first time she was truly overcome with anxiety on a mission.
"Give me the USB!" The German shouted with a fiery rage as he pulled out a knife. "Or your partner dies!"
Chloe looked at Price who only stared at her with worried eyes. She couldn't tell if he wanted her to give up the USB or not. She just wanted him to tell her what to do. In a split second decision she reach for her taser to point at the German. As she aimed she heard a terrifying scream come from Price as the German stuck his knife violently into his back.
"Wrong choice." The German glared as he ripped the knife back out.
"No!" Chloe shrieked as she felt tears already filling her eyes. She took a deep breath and dove for the gun that Price had knocked free. The German let Price fall to the ground as he lunged for Chloe. She turned quickly and emptied the chamber into the German's chest. He collapsed to the ground and landed with his cheek on the floor and his eyes still open. Chloe pointed the gun at him again to shoot more, but the gun clicked with empty bullets. She threw it angrily against the wall before racing over to Price who was lying on his side, blood seeping through his shirt.
"It's going to be fine. He's dead. We're fine." Chloe fell to her knees and breathed the words out, willing them to be true. She took off one of her layers and held it firmly against the wound on Price's back. "I need a medevac immediately!" Chloe shouted into her ear piece.
"Chlo…" Price gasped for air. "Finish it."
"What?" Chloe asked as she frantically tried to stop the bleeding.
"Go...get the rest of the...intel." Price started coughing up mostly blood.
"I'm not leaving you." Chloe swallowed, feeling tears start to sting her eyes.
"I…" Price's chest heaved erratically as it was getting harder and harder to get a breath. "I love them." He struggled as he fumbled around inside his jacket. He finally pulled out a picture of his family, although it now had blood stains on it. "Take...care of them. Please." He shoved the picture into Chloe's hands and she was unable to prevent the tears from sliding down her cheeks.
"You're going to be fine." She sobbed out, not believing her own words. Price just gave her a weak smile as he let his eyes drift shut. "ETA on the medevac?!" Chloe barked into her ear piece again.
"About five minutes away, Agent Beale. Moving as fast as we can." A voice came over the ear piece, nearly drowned out by the sound of the helicopter blades.
"I'm sorry." Chloe pulled him into her chest and wrapped her arms tightly around him. "I'm so sorry." She couldn't control the sobs escaping her. After about a minute of uncontrollable tears, she leaned back. Price hadn't moved since his last words and his eyes were closed. Chloe gently laid him on the ground and moved a shaky hand to his neck to check for a pulse, already fairly certain what she would find. She waited for a minute, but no pulse came. She let out the last of her tears as she rested her head against him before standing back to her feet.
She took a deep breath and turned to march back to the computer room. As she crossed the balcony she could still hear Kommissar groaning in pain below. She found her gun and leaned over the edge to point it at her.
"Your father's dead." Chloe said heartlessly. "He killed my partner."
"I'll kill you!" Kommissar shrieked so loudly it echoed off the walls.
"I would kill you. But you're going to suffer just like me." Chloe holstered her weapon and instead fired the highest taser setting at the blonde, knocking her out. When Chloe was content that Kommissar wouldn't disturb her she returned to the lab.
She looked at the USB and the monitors. Just a few moments ago, this seemed like the most important thing in the world. Now, she could barely work up enough energy to care. But she was going to follow through with Price's last requests: finish this mission and take care of his family. She slid the USB into the port again and waited for it to retrieve all the information the German had. Her eyes stared blankly at the screen until she heard a chopper land on the back lawn. Within a minute there were men rushing through the house, securing corners with their guns in the air. They finally rushed upstairs and found Chloe.
"Where's the medical emergency?" The lead lowered his gun and looked at Chloe questioningly while she stood frozen in front of the computer.
"Its not an emergency anymore. Its a casevac now." (casualty evacuation) Chloe didn't look up from the screen.
"Agent...Price?" The man sobered immediately and was visibly shaken by the turn of news. There were few people associated with the Agency that were not friends with Agent Price. So this wouldn't be the first time Chloe would see grief flood someone's eyes at the news.
"Yes." Chloe swallowed, trying her best to remain strong. "Down the hall."
"Yes, ma'am." He signaled the medical unit to move down the hall. "I'm so sorry, Agent Beale." He waited for a moment until he realized she wasn't going to respond before joining his team.
Chloe expected to be reprimanded, screamed at, put on probation, or something when she returned to HQ. She had filled Captain Littner in on everything that had happened over the phone on the plane back. He responded with very few words. That usually meant he was angry to a boiling point. She expected choice words from him as soon as she came through the doors.
She had typed up the report on a laptop on the flight back to keep her occupied from her thoughts. When she entered HQ, she was greeted with silent looks of pity from everyone. No one said a word, though. Except Aubrey. She put her hand on Chloe's shoulder as Chloe gathered up the paperwork she needed to give Captain Littner.
"Are you okay?"
"I caused my partner's death. No. I'm not okay." Chloe stated matter-of-factly.
"No one blames you." Aubrey said softly.
"Then they're all idiots." Chloe slammed the papers on a desk as she stacked them neatly.
"Chlo-"
"My father wants me to call him ASAP." Chloe said with disdain. "And then I need to give my report to Captain Littner."
"I can stop by later?" Aubrey offered just to a mumbled no thanks from Chloe as she marched down the hall.
After an uncomfortable phone call with her father, head of the Agency, Chloe entered Captain Littner's office with her back straight and head held high, resolved to not let a tear escape her eye until she was home. Or with Price's family…
"Here is my report along with the USB. I was able to retrieve all the intel he had gathered to launch a global attack. His daughter's still alive so at least she won't be able to use it or sell it." Chloe explained calmly and professionally.
"Chloe, this is very good." Captain Littner slid the documents closer to himself as he held out his hand for Chloe to sit in the chair across from him. Chloe reluctantly obliged. "I know this is hard for you."
"Just say it, Captain. I was foolish and impulsive and my actions led to the death of an agent. Just tell me what my punishment is. No need to beat around the bush." Chloe brazenly interrupted, unfazed by the shocked expression on Littner's face.
"It was impulsive." He began. "And while I do wish you had brought this to my attention first, your actions might've saved countless lives. You acted quickly because you didn't know when the attack might happen. Although we lost a good man, your actions and choices were heroic."
Chloe felt like vomiting. She knew her face twisted in disgust at Littner's words. She was expecting the opposite of what she was receiving and she hated it.
"You made choices for the protection of our country. You showed leadership and bravery. I'd like you to consider this offer I drew up while you were on your way back." Littner slid over a thick document. Chloe eyed it suspiciously before reaching out and slowly skimming the first few pages.
"You want...to give me a...promotion?" Chloe said, feeling heat rise to her face. She could barely control her hands from shaking she was so angry.
"Just think about-"
"I don't need to think about!" She burst out sliding the document back across the desk with contempt. "I don't deserve a promotion for getting my partner killed."
"Chloe, no one here thinks-"
"I don't care what people think. I'm the only one that was there, Captain." Chloe stood up and took a deep breath, forcing her tears to stay put just a little while longer. "With all due respect, if you give me a promotion because of this mission, the next document you'll receive from me is my resignation." She turned to leave the office with a stunned Captain Littner sitting in silence. "And my father, AKA your boss, has demanded a psych eval for me. Nice dad, that one. He's also ordered me to take time off, preferably with daily therapy. So this is me informing you that I will be taking said time off. If there's an issue, feel free to contact the General." And Chloe left the office, with a purely stunned Captain Littner frozen in his chair. He expected an emotional Chloe Beale. But that meeting went far from how he had envisioned it.
Chloe pulled up to the Price house. She had demanded that she be the one to inform Zoey and the kids. Now, though, she was almost regretting it. She knew when that door opened she'd be greeted by wide smiles expecting to see her partner. She was going to go up to that door and destroy her second family and it made her ill. After contemplating calling Aubrey to join her, Chloe finally took a deep breath and made the walk to the Price home.
"Chloe!" Zoey opened the door with that wide smile Chloe expected. Chloe immediately closed her eyes, knowing that when she opened them, the tears would fall. Zoey noticed her husband wasn't there and could see the visible turmoil Chloe was in. She gulped hard and quickly rounded her kids in the living room.
"Zack?" Chloe heard Zoey's voice quiver as she spoke to the kids and it broke her heart. "Why don't you take Janie upstairs. You can have extra iPad time. Show her that game you like to play so much."
"Really?" Zack jumped up. "Thanks, mommy!" He grabbed Janie by the hand and led her upstairs, full of excitement.
Zoey turned around, tears already in her eyes. "What happened?"
"I'm sorry…" Chloe burst into tears, nearly falling to her knees when Zoey caught her and led her inside to the couch. Once Chloe had gained a small amount of self control and was less of a blubbering mess she continued.
"Chloe." Zoey wiped the tears from her own eyes before putting her arms around Chloe again.
"Its my fault. I put us in danger. He gave his life saving the world. He's the hero, Zoey. Your husband is a hero." Chloe let all the tears she'd been holding back fall as Zoey pulled her into a hug and they cried together.
"I will never blame you, Chloe."
"You should." Chloe whispered.
"You're family." Zoey rested her tear stained cheek on Chloe's head.
"His last words were that he loved you." Chloe hiccuped over her words as she pulled out the picture. She tried to wipe it clean, but there were still some visible blood stains. "He carried this with him. He asked me to take care of you."
"He was the best husband and father." Zoey choked out sob as she took the picture of their little family.
"I don't think I'll ever forgive myself." Chloe said quietly after they had cried heavily for a few minutes.
"He would forgive you." Zoey held her tighter. "And I do, too. Whatever happened, Chloe. I will never blame you. And don't you dare think of trying to avoid our family because of guilt. You are loved here. We'll honor his memory, okay? But please don't let me grieve alone."
Chloe felt another type of guilt for already planning on how to leave the Price's lives. Not because she wanted to but because she was worried every time they saw her they would be sad about their husband and father. But hearing Zoey beg her through tears to stay, she knew she'd never be able to leave them. And she promised her partner she would take care of them. So she settled into Zoey's hug, preparing herself for the long road of grief and healing she'd be on with the Price family.
End of flashback
"Wow." Beca breathed as she rubbed Chloe's back as she cried through various parts of her story.
"Aubrey got the promotion." Chloe wiped her eyes as if she was going through the epilogue of her story. "The funeral was the worst thing I've ever experienced. Zoey was pretty insistent on me coming to weekly dinners at a minimum. Even though what she was going through was ten times harder, I was so glad to have them. I was really grateful she didn't hate me like I thought she might. And I had to go through weeks of therapy. When my dad finally let me return, they insisted I go through training again just to get back in the swing of things. And then...I got a new partner."
"I understand why you hated me at first." Beca grinned shyly. She wished she had known all this about Chloe back then, she might've acted a little better.
"I didn't hate you." Chloe scoffed.
"Eh, you did a little bit." Beca held her thumb and index finger close together. "But its okay, I wore you down."
"I guess you did." Chloe rolled her eyes as she sunk closer into the comfort of Beca's embrace.
"And for what its worth. You are the best agent I could ever hope to work with. I am so lucky to be your partner. And I hope you don't still carry guilt or blame on your shoulders. I trust you with my life, Chloe. And whatever missions we go on, we have each other, okay?"
"Yeah." Chloe nodded. "I trust you too, Beca. And I'm not just saying that. You've saved my life on multiple occasions. I think a part of me will always carry some guilt for what happened to Price. But I'm slowly moving forward. And you've been a big part of that. I actually have confidence in myself again. I feel stronger. I feel like I'm a good agent. And its because of you." She looked up to see Beca smiling down at her, not in a cocky or smug way, but just kind and gentle. It was a side Beca didn't show most people.
"Well, I never thought I'd be able to feel happiness again after I got back from the military. Sure, I can fake it. But you make me genuinely feel it. I felt like a zombie for the longest time, but you make me feel...alive again." Beca shrugged, feeling like her words weren't doing her feelings justice. "I guess we were paired up just in time. We're good for each other."
"Nearly perfect for each other I'd say." Chloe reached up and pulled her in by her cheek and gave her a long kiss. "You make me really happy."
"Good." Beca returned the kiss again.