You're Still the One
I'm back in my rooms at the Long Branch preparing to surprise Matt in his office. When I left for Ballard I thought I never wanted to see him again. It's not that I stopped loving him. It's that I love him too much. Seeing him lying on Front Street yet again, his bloodied badge lying in the dirt nearby, was one time too many. I couldn't explain my jumbled emotions even to Doc and I sure couldn't explain them to my stubborn Cowboy. I did give Matt one more try before boarding that stage. He didn't say what I'd hoped he'd say, which might have loosened my tongue. Instead we shared a rather abrupt goodbye, not what I expected would happen after 15 years of revealing our innermost feelings to each other.
However something inside me stopped me from totally burning my bridges. I told Sam to send any offers to buy the Long Branch to me but without a forwarding address. Even after I settled in Ballard and bought a half interest in Claire's saloon I made no attempt to notify Sam. It sure wasn't because I believed he wouldn't keep my location secret. While Doc, Festus & Newly would do just about anything to protect me they're also loyal to Matt. Sam will do what Matt asks him to do to keep threats against me as much at bay as possible. However, unlike the others, he's doing it purely out of loyalty to his boss and friend. Doc views Matt like a hoped for son-in-law, the only man good enough to be his son and thus worthy of his daughter. That would be me. It also means he'll do what he sees as best for both of us. Festus and Newly work for Matt. Keeping him informed is part of the job.
In the end I told none of them. Still Matt managed to find me. What irked me wasn't so much his arrival. It was the pretense of merely checking in with me while he was in Ballard on business. He immediately took charge reminding the local law he couldn't summarily close down a business run by a troublesome pair of women. I don't think John Dawson thought far enough ahead but he wouldn't have been completely surprised when the Nugget reopened Papa would own it.
I'd half made up my mind to return to Dodge after Matt and I had our little talk in my room at the Nugget. I knew, despite what I'd told my friend Claire Hollis, I wasn't ready to throw off all we'd shared since way back when. If that were the case I wouldn't have debased myself in front of Papa so he'd release Matt from jail on a trumped up charge of molesting a local girl. Even if he didn't wear that badge Matt's too much of a gentleman to ignore anyone who appears to need help, particularly women and children. Of course my man hadn't simply come to Ballard looking for me. He was trying to find a way to bring Papa Steiffer, who hid his iron-fisted control of the town behind a façade of courtesy, to justice. Still, his dual purpose allowed me to see we both take pride in doing our jobs well.
Steiffer set up an ambush that would have prevented Matt from carrying out his plan to build a case against the Ballard strongman. On reflection I warned Matt because for once I could maybe keep him from getting shot down in front of me yet again. Sheriff Dawson suddenly remembering his own local badge should mean exactly what the federal badge means to my stubborn cowboy made for a favorable outcome. Both lawmen remained standing and John Dawson locking up Papa Steiffer meant Matt could return home. It also meant I could reflect on whether I was ready to go there as well.
I'm sure Matt felt I was ready after what I did on that street in Ballard, but I still hesitated. What happened on Front Street nearly happened again in Ballard. The difference was my newfound willingness to accept his risking his life for the good of a community was part of why I love him so much. It's what makes my cowboy an exceptionally good man. When combined with his incredible physique, handsome face and unfailing gentleness to offset the toughness his job demands he's the best man I know. His death was a particularly jarring eventuality that could end what we've built together, one I didn't want to experience as the reason for ending what we'd built. I had to accept the strong possibility he could die suddenly no matter how much it tortured me.
Such thoughts solidified into actions. I came home. However, I avoided people who'd let Matt know I'd returned so I could freshen up from the stage ride and surprise Matt in his office. While I didn't let certain people see me, I observed them. The final clues telling me just how unhappy Matt was without me came from a dejected Festus leaving the jailhouse. Matt had tossed him out. It was time for me to show the man I love we have a future together.
That special smile he reserves only for me lit up his face as soon as I said "hello Cowboy". What followed was inevitable, beginning with strolling down Front Street arm in arm toward the Long Branch. I poured us drinks at the bar, but we soon climbed the stairs in the empty saloon leaving Sam to finish locking up. We're sharing our big brass bed once again. The longing for what isn't is over replaced by what we have. My leaving was a bump allowing us to deepen our understanding of each other and consequently let our love to grow.
As we came up for air from a kiss I couldn't help myself. I had to express what I was feeling at the moment. "Cowboy, we're still having fun." He reassured me it was mutual by responding "you're still the one who makes everything good possible" before enfolding me in a tight embrace.
We've been together since way back when
Sometimes I never want to see you again
But I want you to know, after all these years
You're still the one I want whisperin' in my ear
You're still the one I want to talk to in bed
Still the one that turns my head
We're still having fun, and you're still the one
I looked at your face every day
But I never saw it 'til I went away
When winter came, I just wanted to go (Wanted to go)
Deep in the desert, I longed for the snow
You're still the one that makes me laugh
Still the one that's my better half
We're still having fun, and you're still the one
You're still the one that makes me strong
Still the one I want to take along
We're still having fun, and you're still the one (Yes, you are)
Changing, our love it comes and goes
Even though we grow, it grows too
You're still the one that I love to touch
Still the one and I can't get enough
We're still having fun, and you're still the one
You're still the one who can scratch my itch
You're still the one that I wouldn't switch
We're still having fun, and you're still the one
You are still the one that makes me shout
Still the one that I dream about
We're still having fun, and you're still the one
You're still the one
Yeah, still the one
We're still having fun
And you're still the one
Songwriters: John Hall / Johanna Hall