A/N: So, it would appear that I lied. The big question about Maya's ex-husband will be answered in the next chapter, not this one. (There is a hint here, but it's not super obvious.) Since Maya's backstory was running long, I decided to break it into two chapters.

Iconic Star Child- Thank you! Glad you like!

Courtbry- Thanks! Hmmm I wonder if your guess is right? Next chapter will say explicitly who the kids' dad is, but you'll find out here if you catch the hint.

* Maya *

That night, I toss and turn until I finally give up on sleeping. Probably that cup of coffee that I had a few hours ago. I'm kind of addicted to coffee these days. I usually have at least three cups a day.

I look at the clock on my nightstand, saying 1:29 a.m. Well, it's not like I'm going to call my mom or Riley up on the phone at this hour. Looks like I'll have to find something else to do. Unpacking some boxes wouldn't be a bad idea. My bedroom looks nice, clean, and sophisticated...but my walk-in closet is still a mess of stuff that I haven't decided what to do with yet.

I go to the closet, flip a light on, and sit down on the floor with a box in front of me. Then, I start pulling out a treasure trove of stuff that Eden and Hunter made when they were little. Homemade Mother's Day cards, Christmas ornaments, you name it. Then, there's a folder of important documents- birth certificates, my high school and college diploma, etc. Then, a velvet box with my old wedding ring in it. I separate all the stuff into piles. Finally, I come to a photo album of my high school years. I stare at it for a second, and then I decide to take a walk down memory lane. I open it up.

I'm immediately hit by a rush of nostalgia as I stare at the first page of me and Riley on our first day of high school. We look so young, it's crazy. Then, there's a picture of the whole gang hanging out at Topanga's. The triangle between me, Riley, and Lucas was still going on, but we were all trying really hard to act like it wasn't affecting our friendship. Next is a picture of me and Shawn. I smile. I'm still so grateful that he came into me and my mom's life. They're still happily married, and I have a little brother, Matthew, who's Eden's age. Yeah, me and my mom were pregnant at the same time. It was very weird. The next picture is of me and Riley covered in paint when I was struggling with my identity.

I stop when I come upon a picture of me, Riley, and Lucas at the ski lodge. Then, another picture of me and Josh at the ski lodge. This trip was the most confusing time for me. Lucas trying to choose between me and Riley, me having feelings for both Lucas and Josh. But at the end of the day, I think I always knew that Lucas would pick Riley. I said that I was okay with it, because I didn't like Lucas like that anyway. I close my eyes and think back to that conversation with Josh...what he told me.

"What I've noticed, Maya, is that you've cared about Riley so much for so long that the moment she decides to care about somebody else-"

"Lucas..."

"You needed to protect her," Josh said.

"How?" I asked. I was confused about where this was going.

Josh answered, "You needed to see if she was safe with him."

"But how could I possibly do that?"

"You lose yourself and become like her, so you can get to know him like she knows him. What a great way to see if he's good enough for your best friend."

I stopped and thought about it for a second. What Josh was saying, it made sense. Something about this theory didn't ring true to me, but I believed it anyway. It made things so much simpler, and it meant that my heart wouldn't be broken because my feelings were never real.

"I was protecting her?"

Josh nodded, "She'd have done the same for you."

"She did," I said. "She brought me back."

"And now that you're you?"

"I don't like Lucas like that," I reply. This was the only possible conclusion. Lucas and I had chemistry and fire, but we were just too different. Lucas was perfect for Riley- not me. While I was a mess most of the time, they were both the picture of goodness. They belonged together.

It still hurt when I told him to go be with her, but it hurt a lot less after Josh told me he liked me. While I could easily picture what a relationship with Lucas would be like, Josh had always been more like some unattainable fantasy. This hot, perfect, older guy who could make my knees turn to Jello when he smiled at me. Even after we agreed to the long game, I was still skeptical that we'd ever get together.

I break out of my thoughts, and continue to flip through the album. There are pictures of my mom's wedding, more pictures of me with all my friends...by the time the album moves to my tenth grade year, the pictures start changing. Zay is by my side in a lot of them. This was around the time we started going out. It actually worked out fine for most of the school year. He made me laugh, and we had fun together. But I knew we'd never work out as a couple. We only kissed twice, and it felt like I was kissing my brother. I think we both just wanted to know what it was like to be in a real relationship. The girl that he really liked was back in Texas, and Josh was still trying to keep his distance from me while I was underage.

Tenth grade was also the year that Riley and Lucas broke up. I didn't see it coming. Riley put so much effort into acting like they were happy, until she finally broke down with me at the bay window one afternoon.

"I feel like we're living a lie, Maya," she confessed. "I grew up with parents who were in love. I know what that looks like, and that's not me and Lucas. I care about him, but it's not a forever kind of love. Besides, I don't think he ever-"

She stopped, and I looked at her curiously. "You don't think he ever..."

"I don't think he ever really got over you," she admitted. This shook me to my core.

"Riley-"

"It bothered him to watch you with Zay, I know it did. Every time you and Zay would hold hands or something, Lucas would get this sad look on his face, or he would look away."

I didn't forget what Riley said, but I didn't ask Lucas about it either. It felt wrong to do that right after he and Riley broke up. Besides, I didn't know what I would do if he told me that he still had feelings for me. I decided that I was over him a long time ago.

I sigh to myself, and keep flipping through the album. I notice that Lucas shows up less and less. Once he and Riley broke up, he started hanging around more with the athletic crowd and less with us. I guess it was too weird between him and Riley. But she was my best friend, so I obviously stayed by her side. So did Farkle and Smackle. Zay stayed with Lucas. Things were never the same after that.

I keep flipping through the pages until I'm in my junior year of high school. This is around the time that my mom got pregnant. Not with Matt, but with another baby that she ended up losing. Because of this, there was a lot of pain that my family had to deal with. My grades suffered quite a bit. I was at Riley's late one night, and so was Josh. He was helping me study in the living room. We were the only two people awake.

"I'm sorry, I can't concentrate on this right now," I admitted as I pushed a book away.

Josh nodded, "I know it's hard. I know you were really looking forward to being a big sister. But you'll get through this, Maya, I promise. Everyone's here for you."

"Really? It seems like you're only here for me when I'm going through some major tragedy or crisis in my life," I snapped, even though I didn't really mean to. It was true though. Josh wasn't there for me on a day to day basis. How did he know what I was going through?

"Maya, I'm in college," he reminded me gently. "I can't be around you all the time, and even if I could, I don't want to give you any mixed messages. You're not eighteen yet."

Tears filled my eyes. I was so tired of waiting for someone to love me.

"Can't you bend the rules just once?" I asked.

He stared into my eyes, and then leaned in to gently kiss my lips. I felt butterflies in my stomach, and kissed him back. By the time he pulled away after just a few seconds, my heart was thumping wildly in my chest. So, this was what a real kiss felt like...one stolen moment in a temporary paradise...one moment where all your heartache just kind of dissolves.

Josh whispered, "I don't ever want you to forget how special you are to me."

I nodded.

That day gave me hope for the future. Josh ended up being right. My family slowly healed from the loss of the baby. We got through it together. As for what everyone else was up to, Riley spent junior year looking for a new boyfriend. She dated a few different guys, but none of them worked out. Later on, I found out that she'd developed feelings for Farkle around this time, but he was still with Smackle. As for Lucas, he went out with a cheerleader named Cara for a while, but they broke up after a few months.

Then, the Spring Formal rolled around. I hadn't even wanted to go, but Riley didn't have a date either so I figured we'd just hang out together and watch people. But a cute foreign exchange student asked her to dance, and I ended up alone. Then, Lucas approached me...

"Hey, Maya," he said nervously. I was surprised. We hadn't talked in a long time.

"Huckleberry," I said. He smiled at the nickname.

"Do you want to dance?" he asked. A slow song had just come on. I wasn't sure what to think, but I did know that I really missed him. I gave him my hand, and we walked out onto the dance floor. Then, we were holding onto each other as we swayed to the music.

Lucas stared into my eyes, "How have you been? I know you've been through a lot this year."

"I'm okay...better than I was a few months ago. Looks like if you were going to show any concern for my well-being, it would've been then."

"I wanted to," he said. "Things just haven't been the same between us. I knew we would all break apart when me and Riley broke up. That's a lot of the reason we stayed together for so long. I never wanted to lose you, Maya. When you're not around, it's like there's a hole in my life."

"What are you saying? You want to be friends with me again?" I asked.

Lucas shook his head, "No. I want so much more than that."

Next thing I know, his hands cupped my face as he pulled me into a passionate kiss that completely took me by surprise. It felt like electricity or something. I was confused. Lucas' kiss and Josh's kiss both made me feel things, but they were also different somehow. Only when Lucas broke away from me did I notice that people were looking at us. Then, I was angry. I left him, and ran outside while I tried to process what just happened.

"Maya, wait!" Lucas called after me as he chased me down outside.

"How could you do that?" I demanded. "The entire school is going to be talking about this on Monday."

"You're right," Lucas said. "I shouldn't have kissed you then. I should've kissed you while we were in Texas, in front of that campfire. I should've chosen you over Riley. I used to be afraid of my feelings for you, but I'm trying to make things right now."

"I'm in a relationship!" I exclaim.

"Riley's uncle telling you that he might date you later on doesn't count as a relationship, Maya."

"Yeah? You know Josh and I have kissed already."

"So, you're in love with him? If that's true, you should've felt nothing when I kissed you."

"You shouldn't have kissed me at all! You walked away from our friendship, started dating stuck-up cheerleaders-"

"Cara didn't mean anything to me," Lucas insisted. "The whole time I was dating her AND Riley, I couldn't stop thinking about YOU. You've always been special to me. I'm sorry it took me so long to tell you this. I just hope I'm not too late."

I let silence hang in the air between us, and then said, "I've got a lot of thinking to do."

For once, I was the one who had a decision to make. I could keep waiting out the long game for Josh (it was less than a year from my eighteenth birthday by now), or I could finally give things with Lucas a chance. I wasn't sure he deserved it, but I needed to figure out my feelings for him. Honestly, I wanted to try dating both guys. That way, I'd know for sure which one (if either) was right for me in the long run.

My mom wanted me to let both of them go. She said they were both playing with my heart in their own ways. Being a typical seventeen-year-old, I didn't listen. I was determined to make a choice.

Then, fate made the choice for me.

(To be continued...)